Aug 27 2009Kim Kardashian is a water goddess and other news
- Chris Brown will appear on Larry King Live - with his mommy and lawyer beside him. Seriously, how big of a pussy is this kid that he's afraid of questions from an octogenarian? Give it to me straight. [Lainey Gossip]
- Jeremy Piven has been vindicated for his departure from the David Mamet play Speed the Plow after an arbiter ruled he did not breach his contract. After the proceedings, the arbiter was generously tipped with Entourage Season 2 on DVD and is now suing to reverse his decision. [PopEater]
- Kristen Stewart is getting naked in an upcoming independent film. Now you ladies can see what your dear Edward's been hitting while your boyfriend masturbates under a blanket. It's the perfect date movie! [Celebslam]
- Natalie Portman enjoys rap songs about penises. Seriously. [PopSugar]
- Kate Gosselin makes Target employees escort her to car as if their lives aren't shitty enough. Nice one. [Just Jared]
- Anne Heche hates her ex-husband. Maybe you've heard. [The Blemish]
- Shania Twain proves she's learned her lesson about men - by getting married again. Smart! [ICYDK]
- George Clooney broke his hand after accidentally slamming it in a car door. And by car door I mean 20 naked cocktail waitresses. [Wonderwall]
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Jun 12 2007Anne Heche loses custody of her son
Anne Heche's estranged husband, Coley Laffoon, has been awarded primary custody of their five-year-old son by a Los Angeles Superior Court judge. Laffoon, a stay at home dad, was asking for $33,000 a month in spousal and child support to maintain the "marital standard of living" to which he had become accustomed but got "far below his original demands." In the court battled he alleged that Heche was insane and that he was the one who created a stable home life for their son. Heche fired back:
... that, yes, Laffoon might spend more time at home than she does, but only because she's out earning a living and home is where he could engage in his favorite hobbies—playing ping-pong, playing poker, checking out online porn and masturbating.
This guy sounds like a tremendous winner. I don't know if you can believe this, but he quit his $6,000-a-year career as a video photographer to raise their son. I mean, wow, he just walked away from all that money. What sacrifice. It takes an extraordinary amount of character to leave that kind of money so you can play ping-pong and masturbate to online porn all day. Abraham Lincoln could really learn something from this guy.
May 18 2007Anne Heche's divorce turns nasty
Anne Heche's divorce has gotten nasty after her estranged husband called her a poor parent with "bizarre and delusional behavior," and requested $33,000 a month in support and primary custody of their 5-year-old son.
Heche, 37, countered by releasing a statement saying Laffoon has "resorted to lies with the court because Anne would not cave in to his astronomical money demands" – including what Heche said was actually $45,000 in monthly support. "For the past several years, the child's father has refused to get a job in order to contribute financially to the child's care," says the statement.
In her autobiography, Call Me Crazy, Anne says she was mentally ill the first 31 years of her life after being sexually abused by her dad, claiming she had an alter ego that was the daughter of God and half-sibling of Jesus named "Celestia" who had contacts with extraterrestrial life forms. No, seriously. Anne Heche is 100% out of her mind. Her ex-husband could be a baby-eating bear and he should still get custody of their kid.
