Jun 26 2009Britney Spears wears a bra and other Michael Jackson-less news items
- Nick Lachey dumped Vanessa Minillo because she's a gold-digger. Wait. Nick Lachey has money? [Celebslam]
- Anne Hathaway has to look damn fine to C-3PO. [Lainey Gossip]
- Madonna's new Louis Vuitton ad looks just like her. If she was a perfectly porcelain doll who didn't have the sinewy arms of a zombie. [The Blemish]
- Robert Pattinson reveals he wouldn't be anywhere without Twilight. I'm going to assume this was an interview for People Who Just Woke Up From a Coma Weekly. [ICYDK]
- Jon Gosselin took his wedding ring off! Somebody alert CNN I just found their entire weekend's programming. [Just Jared]
- Johnny Depp never watches his own movies once he's done filming. That would explain the 25 minute, awkwardly edited butt sex scene in Public Enemies. I'm joking! It's only 10 minutes. [PopSugar]
Continue Reading "Britney Spears wears a bra and other Michael Jackson-less news items"
Jun 8 2009Kendra Wilkinson still taking her clothes off
- Kendra Wilkinson shares behind-the-scenes photos from her new reality show. In case there's any confusion, they include large, fake breasts. [Kendra Wilkinson]
- Anne Hathaway must be like porn for dentists. [Lainey Gossip]
- Lindsay Lohan is "on the brink of self-destruction." For real this time. Maybe. [Celebslam]
- Mariah Carey has been stuffing her face. Meanwhile, Nick Cannon cries in a corner. Cold. Alone. Hungry. Still Nick Cannon. [The Blemish]
- Evan Rachel Wood is dating Shane West which has to feel like fucking an angel in a golden meadow after being with Marilyn Manson. [Just Jared]
- Candy Spelling skipped her granddaughter's first birthday party. So, what, did baby Stella kill Aaron Spelling too? Because that kid has shifty eyes. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Audrina Patridge's brother wanted her to wear a bikini for his birthday. That's messed up. I mean, seriously, has he seen her breasts? [PopSugar]
Jun 2 2009Paris Hilton stole Rihanna's dress. Quick, get Chris Brown!
- Paris Hilton wearing the same dress as Rihanna. I'll let you guess which one didn't light it on fire with her blonde, Caucasian vagina. [E! Online]
- Anne Hathaway is still paler than Robert Pattinson covered in White-Out. -- I just aroused a bunch of Twi-Hards, didn't I? My bad. [The Blemish]
- Zac Efron has a cameo on Entourage because apparently not enough people realized the show is now a sad caricature of itself. That I still watch. Dammit. [Just Jared]
- Kelly Clarkson continues her assault on obesity. By becoming more of it. [ICYDK]
- Lindsay Lohan is supposedly keeping a low profile in London with Samantha Ronson. I'll give her ten minutes until she Twitters the name of her hotel then fellates Big Ben. You heard it here first. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson were spotted together the morning after the MTV Movie Awards. They must be fucking. Or, I dunno, starring in a movie together. [PopSugar]
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May 1 2009Anne Hathaway, Demi Moore, Jessica Biel & Kate Hudson get all fancy
After looking at these pics of Anne Hathaway, Demi Moore, Jessica Biel and Kate Hudson at the Cartier 100th Anniversary in America Celebration, I couldn't help but wonder "Who would I want to be stranded on a desert island with?" Based on the following conditions, here's how it would pan out:
Jessica Biel if I was a gambling man and willing to take the risk she wouldn't turn lesbian three days in. Then again, she could probably build a bitchin' log cabin.
Anne Hathaway if Batman was also on the island and trying to steal our coconuts. Seeing his arch-nemesis, the Joker, should keep him at bay long enough for me to touch a breast.
Demi Moore if I wanted a legitimate chance of escape. I figure she's 98% plastic and therefore technically buoyant.
And finally, Kate Hudson, in the unlikely event I never want to see another breast for the rest of my life. -- Yeah, I'm not gonna pick her.
Continue Reading "Anne Hathaway, Demi Moore, Jessica Biel & Kate Hudson get all fancy"
Feb 8 2009Anne Hathaway and her money shall soon be parted
Anne Hathaway is apparently footing the bill for another boyfriend already. This time it's Adam Shulman, star of the direct-to-video sequel for The Dukes of Hazard, who surprisingly didn't make an easy billion off that one. Star reports:
"Adam is not a swindler like Raffaello, but the truth is the truth: Adam is far from Mr. Moneybags, so Anne has to buy everything," an insider tells Star. "She leads an extravagant lifestyle — she has to fly all over the globe and show up at black-tie events. The only way for Adam to fit into her life is if she foots the bill."
Still, adds the source, "He feels bad that Anne has to pay, so he does little things for her, like buy her books, give her love notes and cook her meals — little things to make her feel special."
Wow, that guy's making out like a bandit. Anne Hathaway, if you're reading this, I'd do way more than write lame notes with Coldplay lyrics in them. I'd also have sex with you. Didn't really want to lay all my cards on the table, but I need a new Xbox. Pick you up at seven?
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Jan 22 2009Heath Ledger nominated for Oscar
Heath Ledger has cinched a posthumous Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor in The Dark Knight which, surprisingly, did not garner a Best Picture nom nor Best Director nom for Christopher Nolan. I blame Katie Holmes. Look what you did!
Anyway, scope out the pics gallery for other notable nominees including the couple most responsible for overpopulation and the alleged homophobe who played a gay guy.
Full list of nominees on I Watch Stuff.
Jan 21 2009Anne Hathaway looks attractive-ish
I don't say this very often, but Anne Hathaway looks remarkably good in these shots from the Creative Coalition Inaugural Ball last night. How good, you ask? So good I'd open a joint checking account with her. That's right, folks, I'm talking about love over here. And possibly a speedboat. Mostly speedboat.
Jan 7 2009The People's Choice Awards offer democracy one last chance to redeem itself
Unlike those other snooty awards ceremonies like the Oscars and the Hobo Olympics, the People's Choice Awards don't rely on an elite group of judges to determine the winners. No, for the past 35 years, the PCAs have put the decision directly in the hands of the people. Which could be a mistake, because people have been known to do some pretty stupid things at times. In the case of People's Choice nominee Anne Hathaway, it was dating a felonious dirtbag who eventually embarrassed her in the international media. Too bad there's no category for "Most Unfortunate Girlfriend of the Year" because I'd totally vote for her. If only my voting rights hadn't been suspended due to my criminal record. You organize one cockfight in an elementary-school playground, and people act like you're the next Saddam Hussein or something. Someday we'll get enough people on the Supreme Court to reverse that law...
Continue Reading "The People's Choice Awards offer democracy one last chance to redeem itself"
