Oct 28 2009Rosie O'Donnell: 'I coulda banged Angelina'
Seen here in April, Rosie O'Donnell went on Howard Stern yesterday and seriously claimed she had a shot with Angelina Jolie just before she married Billy Bob Thornton. Us Magazine reports:
"She gave me her phone number," O'Donnell recalls.
"We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that . . .There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through." she said.
"I was a little afraid of her. She's scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still."
If I ever had to choose between listening to my parents talk about their sex life or having Rosie O'Donnell describe her wet dreams, I guarantee you I'd choose whichever one lets me shove a lawnmower in my ear canal then slowly bleed to death in the front yard. (Sorry, the holidays are coming up and I wanted to make sure that was out there.)
Continue Reading "Rosie O'Donnell: 'I coulda banged Angelina'"
Sep 29 2009Taylor Momsen wears short skirts and other news
- Angelina Jolie apparently owns only one dress/bed sheet. [Lainey Gossip]
- Beyonce has her way with Singapore's airspace. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Scott Storch admits Brooke Hogan's music sucks. [Celebslam]
- Rihanna wears weird shit. [PopSugar]
- January Jones is trying to save the sharks? Awesome. Nothing like knowing my right to get goddamn mauled at the beach is being preserved by the woman who made Don Draper sign his soul way. Contracts are his Kryptonite, you freakin' harpie! [Just Jared]
- Brooke Shields apparently posed for naked photos at age 10 which are now being displayed at a London art museum. Uh, they already caught Roman Polanski, guys. You can stop trying to bait him. [PopEater]
- Jon Gosselin wasn't fired by TLC, he'll just appear "less often" on the newly renamed show. The sad pussy train chugs on! [Wonderwall]
- Heather Locklear's first day on the set of Melrose Place doesn't end in a DUI. -- We've been duped. Check her wallet! [ICYDK]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Taylor After the Jump
Continue Reading "Taylor Momsen wears short skirts and other news"
Aug 11 2009Brangelina wishes to be seen now
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie graced the mortal world with their combined presence last night at the Hollywood premiere of Inglourious Basterds. Now there's a happy couple who undoubtedly spent their evening making passionate love - while stealing multi-ethnic babies from a nursery. They're that good.
Scope Out (20) Pics of Brad & Angelina After the Jump
Aug 10 2009Kim Kardsashian is blonde and other news
- Kathy Griffin brought Levi Johnston as her date to the Teen Choice Awards. Was this an object lesson for the kids about cougars' old age making them infertile so you don't even have to bother with a condom? Because that's what I picked up. [PopEater]
- Halle Berry is pregnant again? But how?! We haven't made love since that time I wrote the words "Halle" on a bagel. [A Socialite's Life]
- Ashley Greene was caught making out with Chace Crawford this morning. Was that before or after she leaked nude pictures of herself? [Lainey Gossip]
- Natasha Henstridge is making me reconsider women over 30. (But 35's the cut off. Seriously.) [Celebslam]
- Milo Ventimiglia shirtless. In case you're into that sort of thing. (Read: The bare chest of a midget fucker.) [Just Jared]
- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt keep the sparks alive. Until later that night when they realize that wasn't a lumpy pillow it was Maddox the whole time. "Ha ha! We need to start giving these kids away." [PopSugar]
- Dane Cook booed at the Teen Choice Awards. Wow. I suddenly don't fear the future anymore. It's going to be okay! [The Blemish]
Aug 6 2009Brad Pitt likes the pool sex
In a candid interview with Parade, Brad Pitt reveals his love of doing Angelina Jolie in the pool and milking that gay rights excuse to avoid getting married:
On not getting married to Angelina:
"I have love in my life, a soul mate--absolutely. When someone asked me why Angie and I don't get married, I replied, 'Maybe we'll get married when it's legal for everyone else.' I stand by that, although I took a lot of flak for saying it--hate mail from religious groups. Man, I resent people telling others how to live! It drives me mental! Just the other night, I heard this TV reverend say that Angie and I were setting a bad example because we were living out of wedlock, and people should not be duped by us! It made me laugh. What damn right does anyone have to tell someone else how to live if they're not hurting anyone?"
On if one his kids turned out gay:
"Would it bother me if a child of mine turns out to be gay? No, not one bit. Listen, I want my kids to live the lives they want to live. I want them to be fulfilled. I hope I teach my kids to be who they really are."
On the secret grotto behind his pool's waterfall:
"[It's] a great place for sex."
You know where else is a great place to have sex with Angelina Jolie? ANYWHERE. If she asked me to do her in a cemetery, I'd be like "Wait. That wasn't you in the coffin?" Because I'm an eager lover. Ladies?
Aug 5 2009Angelina Jolie on the can, double breastfeeding
Here's a nude sculpture of Angelina Jolie titled "Landmark For Breastfeeding" by New York based artist Daniel Edwards. It's scheduled to be displayed in Oklahoma which sounds like a great idea. Because there's nothing the Midwest loves more than activist celebrities. And art.
Then again, she is barefoot and breastfeeding.
Continue Reading "Angelina Jolie on the can, double breastfeeding"
Jul 30 2009Jennifer Aniston's headlights are on and other news
- Jon & Kate Plus 8 is still beloved by TLC. Then again, who doesn't love exploitation dollars? That shit's the best. [Just Jared]
- Tony Romo was "emotionally cheating" for months. Really? We're going to use complex terms for a situation involving Jessica Simpson? Why not? [Celebslam]
- Rachelle Lefevre gets another punch in the tits from Summit Entertainment. [Lainey Gossip]
- Seth Rogen has words for Katherine Heigl. [PopEater]
- Lindsay Lohan claims she dyed her hair blonde for a film role. HAHAHA! But, no, seriously, what's the real reason? Probation officer in town? [PopSugar]
- Megan Fox is tired of the Angelina Jolie comparison. Which is why she's marrying Billy Bob Thornton. That'll shut 'em up! [I'm Not Obsessed]
Continue Reading "Jennifer Aniston's headlights are on and other news"
Jul 10 2009Megan Fox's ass is awesome and other news
- Artie Lange was busted for DUI this afternoon. Wow. It took that long to pick this guy up for driving under the influence? Was the officer feeling lazy today or something? "Hmm... One ticket short. What's Artie Lange doing?" [PopEater]
- Angelina Jolie flew Shiloh and Zahara on her private plane making her the coolest mom ever. Until she pulls a JFK Jr. -- Too soon? [Just Jared]
- Lindsay Lohan continues to be a walking object lesson on the dangers of snorting blow then Tweeting. [Lainey Gossip]
- Paris Hilton showed up in court today to defend herself against a lawsuit that she didn't properly promote National Lampoon's Pledge This! I don't get it. Paris Hilton disassociating herself is probably the best thing she could've done for this movie. Short of literally dying in the middle of it. [The Blemish]
- David Beckham named his son after Tom Cruise. I'm going to assume this was the only way to rebuff his advances. Nothing like the ol' "How about we not have butt sex and I name my kid after you?" maneuver. Works every time. [Celebslam]
- Rachael Ray underwent vocal chord surgery and will be unable to speak for a few weeks. But she can still cook and therefore should marry me provided she agrees not too seek alimony in the divorce next month. [ICYDK]
- Joe Simpson wants Ashlee to make an album of Michael Jackson covers. Wow. I didn't think this guy could do anything worse than be obsessed with his daughters' breasts, but hats off to you Joe. You pulled it off. [PopSugar]
Continue Reading "Megan Fox's ass is awesome and other news"
