Dec 20 2008Alicia Keys in a bikini
You'd think bikini pictures of Alicia Keys would be all kinds of crazy hot with maybe some sexy piano-playing thrown in for good measure. Turns out you, and most importantly me, would be horribly mistaken. Here's Alicia at a hotel pool in Australia just chowing down, checking her Blackberry and generally being the exact opposite of erotic. I mean, would it kill her to do some sort of seductive musical number. Christ, there's even a fork and some water glasses right next to her. Regale me, dammit!
Dec 5 2007Alicia Keys makes pianos sexy
Alicia Keys attended the 54th ONDA Awards in Barcelona, Spain. I have no idea what any of that means, but I’m sure it’s a fancy way of saying “watch the hot chick play the piano.” Does anyone think there’s something odd about the crotch of her pants? It’s almost like her vagina is trying to eat her clothes. Can they do that? If so, has NASA perfected the chain-mail condom yet? All they had to do was follow the blueprints I drew in pencil on a wet bar napkin. How hard is that?
