Jun 25 2009Jeff Goldblum is NOT DEAD. Also, other stuff.
- Dane Cook and other opportunists glom onto Michael Jackson's death. [Just Jared]
- LeAnn Rimes vagina apparently has magical powers and lands Eddie Cibrian a role on CSI: Miami. [Lainey Gossip]
- Paris Hilton's hotel room in Dubai was bugged with a hidden camera. I guarantee whoever was on the other end has already died of itchiness. [Celebslam]
- Heidi & Spencer's Pizza Hut commercial gets canned. Turns out Pizza Hut wants to stay in business after all. Smart move. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are still alive. If anyone cares. No? Moving on. [PopSugar]
- Adriana Lima wants to constantly pump out babies. Wow, this is easily the saddest news I've heard all day. No, really, it's gonna be hard to top that. [I'm Not Obsessed.]
Nov 17 2008Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2008
Match the supermodel with the thought going through her head:
1. "Try and tell me my outfit can't have a bejeweled spider attacking my vagina. I'm ______, bitch!"
2. "Wait a minute. This isn't Scores...."
3. "Probably should've gotten that Brazilian today."
4. "Why won't my mother just admit she had sex with Hawkman?"
Answers: 1. Heidi Klum, 2. Marisa Miller, 3. Adriana Lima, 4. Alessandra Ambrosio.
Nov 14 2008Victoria's Secret Angels in Bikinis
These are behind the scene shots of Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima, Marisa Miller and Karolina Kurkova posing for a press junket to promote the Victoria's Secret Annual Fashion Show at Fountainebleu in Miami. If you're wondering about the fuzziness of the pics, that's called "Hero Vision." No, really, whoever took these should be hunting down terrorists. Or hiding in Mila Kunis' shower. Either one.
Sep 10 2008Adriana Lima does Ugly Betty
These are shots of Victoria's Secret model Adriana Lima on the set of Ugly Betty. I've never watched the show before, but I gather the general plot is to pit Betty, who I assume is ugly, against super hot models, who I assume are super hot. Of course, Betty will triumph using things that only matter on TV like personality, inner beauty and a bachelor's degree. No, sir, I don't like it. Wait, is there nudity? None? I don't like it.
Aug 22 2008Victoria's Secret launches coffee table book that will let my dinner guests know exactly where I stand on the issue of breasts: Love 'em!
Victoria's Secret is publishing a coffee table book entitled Supermodel Obsession that features Adriana Lima (above), Doutzen Kroes and others. If you're like me, you've often pulled a shoebox full of old Victoria's Secret catalogs out from underneath your bed and thought "Gee, I wish someone would collect these into a classy, decorative hardcover book." It'd make a beautiful addition to my coffee table right next to the whiskey bottles, LEGOs and Geekologie Writer's mom. Ha ha! I can't get her to leave!
Mar 5 2008Adriana Lima, Karolina Kurkova launch stuff
It's kind of a slow news day, if you can't tell by the Matthew McConaughey post. Fortunately, something awesome did get launched by Adriana Lima and Karoline Kurkova last night. That would be the Victoria's Secret Uplift Biofit bra. I have no idea what it does, but it seems to involve lifting boobs - a time-honored tradition of mine. My father was a breast lifter, as was his father before him and so forth down the line. It's believed that we belong to the proud lineage of Claudius of Boobistouchia. Claudius is known historically for his devotion to the boob until he died tragically giving Cleopatra a Purple Nurple.
Continue Reading "Adriana Lima, Karolina Kurkova launch stuff"
Nov 13 2007Victoria's Secret models land in my heart
A bunch of Victoria’s Secret models including Heidi Klum, Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima landed in L.A. today. What a gathering of beautiful, uh, minds and personalities. Yes, I can imagine these ladies spent their flight discussing literature, politics and, actually, I’m not even going to bother keeping up this facade. Let's be real. What I can seriously imagine is dropping my pants, handing the pilot a fifty and telling him to hit enough turbulence that I bounce around the fuselage like a rubber ball with a boner. You know, for a few minutes, hours or until the plane runs of out fuel and we crash land on a deserted island - hopefully. I mean, I kind of gave him a fifty. I think I deserve my money's worth.
Oct 18 2007Adriana Lima forgot her makeup
Victoria's Secret supermodel and all around really pretty girl Adriana Lima was spotted at LAX last night without any makeup on. Here's the part of the show where I usually make fun of her for looking like a bag lady, but I honestly can't tell if she does. It's like everytime I rub my eyes she flips between gorgeous and, uh, less gorgeous. Check out the difference between this shot and this shot. It's like somebody went in and replaced her while the paparazzi was changing film. Replaced her with, you know, a vampire.
