Jan 21 2010Tara Reid somehow engaged
Tara Reid's rep has confirmed she's engaged, according to Us Magazine. I'm going to assume the lucky man has only seen her naked in the pages of Playboy because there's no way he didn't shove his penis in a boat propeller the first time she offered to have sex.
NOTE: For those of you going with "the dude's blind," he still has a sense of touch, people. Something would've tipped him off when he found himself fondling a sack of Play-Doh with stegosauri for breasts.
Dec 18 2009Tara Reid in Playboy
Scans of Tara Reid's Playboy spread are already starting to leak online, but in an effort to avoid Hugh Hefner coming to my house and putting his old man balls on my face - "The Holly Madison," I believe he calls it - I'm only posting one pic to confirm how airbrushed these babies are. And, seriously, they have to be joking. I'll believe Britney Spears writes quantum physics theorems in her diary before even considering the possibility Tara Reid has perfectly spherical breasts. They could have at least kept the anchor poking out. For realism's sake.
Pics link to NSFW versions.
Scope Out the Entire Pictorial on Playboy.com Monday 12/21
Dec 14 2009Tara Reid on the cover of Playboy
Tara Reid will apparently be topless in the latest issue of Playboy (above) in an effort to shut everyone up who keeps showing "old" pictures of her, according to a recent interview with WPIX:
"I've been OK now for the last five or six years but people only show old pictures which is so unfair and that's part of the reason why I did the Playboy shoot - to show the world this is me and this is what I look like."
I had no idea pictures from this summer really happened five to six years ago, but then again my stomach isn't botched to the point where it warps the very fabric of time. To put things in perspective, Tara Reid could've murdered someone this morning, yet to her it happened 50 years in the future while a brontosaurus watched. (Read: There's going to be a lot of airbrushing.)
Oct 23 2009Tara Reid hired as a spokesmodel? What the fu...
Location: BlackBerry Spokesmodel Hiring Offices
EXEC #1: Well, it's your last day in this shithole, you gonna do something crazy? Maybe stir the coffee in the lounge with your penis? Flip everybody off? Take a dump on the boss's desk?
EXEC #2: Eh, something like that...
Continue Reading "Tara Reid hired as a spokesmodel? What the fu..."
Oct 9 2009Tara Reid is posing for Playboy
Hugh Hefner, what the fuck? From InTouch:
The American Pie star, who underwent a botched liposuction procedure in 2004, posed entirely nude for the popular magazine at a private residence on October 7 in Santa Monica, Calif. Although Tara, 33, was a bit nervous shooting, she seemed to ease into it as the day went on. "She was a bit insecure about her body when they first started," says an insider. "She looked great and finally got into the groove." Tara had said in the past that she would never pose for Playboy, saying, "I know there are problems with my stomach. There are bumps on it, it's uneven, but it's not that bad. My stomach scars are my battle wounds."
There's no way there's enough Photoshop in the world for this to even remotely resemble a good idea. The only thing less erotic would be pics of Pamela Anderson's naked body while she's getting a C-section. And just barely.
Sep 4 2009Happy Labor Day Weekend! (Plus Bikinis)
What's up, guys? Going to take off for the Labor Day weekend and get some much needed R&R, but in the meantime, here's a shit-ton of bikinis for your edification. See how much I care? It's almost like we know each other so well we can finish each other sentences. Except not really because I do all the writing around here. And you like it.
See you Tuesday,
- The Superficial
Scope Out (28) Pics of Celebs in Bikinis After the Jump
Jul 28 2009Tara Reid keeps wearing a bikini
Tara Reid continued her St. Tropez vacation yesterday by surprisingly ordering food instead of her usual canoe full of gin. Who knows? But in the meantime, I've figured out Tara Reid's like one of those Magic Eye posters: It's better to not stare directly at her. For example, I'm focusing on the sandwich, and I swear it's like I can see Clayface from Batman in her stomach. -- Wait.
Scope Out (16) Pics of Tara Reid After the Jump
Jul 27 2009Tara Reid in a bikini: Pure majesty
Here's Tara Reid vacationing with her new boyfriend Michael Axtmann in St. Tropez yesterday, and you guys go ahead and enjoy. I'll be doing something a little less damaging to my eyes like, I dunno, staring directly into the sun for five hours. *opens window* AH! That's a healthy burn.
Scope Out (24) Pics of Tara After the Jump
