Nov 15 2009Britney Spears' breasts in a bikini aren't making me cry. What the...
Dear Britney,
Did you notice today how people stared at your chest and went "Hey, those are kind of awesome" instead of asking whether you're pointing at them or that guy over there? No, way over there.
That's what happens when you support those things. No foolin'. On that note, I'd tell you to write all this down but I don't want your kids seeing you choke on a pen cap after a full day of staring directly into your ass and realizing they'll never be innocent again.
Here to help,
The Superficial Writer

Reader Comments
1. sarah - November 15, 2009 8:47 PM
FIRST!!!
2. sarah - November 15, 2009 8:47 PM
FIRST!!!
3. sarah - November 15, 2009 8:47 PM
FIRST!!!
4. Lame - November 15, 2009 8:52 PM
She has a body of a man.
5. Mike Miller - November 15, 2009 8:54 PM
Sadly Britney in a bikini just isn't working for me the way it used to. These ones are just kinda mehh... moving on... you know?
6. the biznatch - November 15, 2009 8:57 PM
she's seriously going bald. you can't wear extensions and weaves forever without fucking up your real hair. this is the best her body has looked in a while tho, i'll give her props for that. her belly is looking nice and tight.
7. the biznatch - November 15, 2009 8:58 PM
she's seriously going bald. you can't wear extensions and weaves forever without fucking up your real hair. this is the best her body has looked in a while tho, i'll give her props for that. her belly is looking nice and tight.
8. minty - November 15, 2009 9:03 PM
average.
9. sam - November 15, 2009 9:04 PM
bet thats got some tasty fanny batter on it
10. joe blow - November 15, 2009 9:11 PM
I would absolutely wreck her corn chute.
Then I'd make her clean my dick using only her mouth.
11. Eleventh! - November 15, 2009 9:16 PM
Eleventh!
12. http://www.thefamousphere.com - November 15, 2009 9:18 PM
i beg her to stop wearing those huge, ugly sunglasses. they look like something an 80 year old grandmother would sport.
13. theburgerboy.com - November 15, 2009 9:23 PM
taste the rainbow...
not that impressed
-theburgerboy.com
14. theburgerboy.com - November 15, 2009 9:24 PM
taste the rainbow...
not that impressed
-theburgerboy.com
15. She's a loser - November 15, 2009 9:41 PM
Who cares what she looks like. She is a white trash psychotic mother of two retards. Any sire of federline is bound to be retarded.
16. sd cards - November 15, 2009 10:01 PM
When I realized Britney was like Alessandra I couldn't keep myself from thinking they weren't the plain girls I imagined.
For me they were different from the others, but as soon as I read they try to hide behind a clean imagine, I was in a shock and it came to me in mind how weak and insecure they are.
17. Titties - November 15, 2009 10:10 PM
Slutney's titties in a swimsuit are not half bad; if only they were ala carte. Instead, they're attached to a childish mental retard who can't even balance her checkbook by herself. I'll pass...
18. Fred - November 15, 2009 10:33 PM
Titties, I don't think she was offering.
19. I am NOT Parker - November 15, 2009 10:38 PM
Picture Number 8 made me fall in love with her all over again.....
Joe Blow must have read my thoughts!
20. Jon - November 15, 2009 10:54 PM
A young woman who dances for a living (as opposed to sings), shouldn't need support for her nipples to be in the upright position. They should hang nicely by default, until the older years kick in. I will give credit where credit is due though, in these pics she doesn't look awful. She doesn't look that bad. Not great but not bad. There you go teenage girls, I said something positive about Britney.
21. J - November 15, 2009 10:56 PM
Not half bad but not at the top of the
list either.
She should be looking at releasing a sex tape
so she's back in the news though.
22. Ronskie - November 15, 2009 11:14 PM
Well, the bottom still looks good but the top is way off the mark. Her upper body is like a man's.
23. MissShowOff - November 15, 2009 11:23 PM
Either lockup in the hotel balcony, cruise ship or swimming pool? Like she can swim without getting the hair wet! She has an Iphone to call who? Herself or imaginary friend to party? Glen Stenfanie can bring son to party and even have punky hairstyle, but for BS, it will be under psychiatric evaluation - to justify for legal extortion using DNA's right to kids?
24. Raptor - November 15, 2009 11:23 PM
liveandloose.blogspot.com
25. Christina - November 15, 2009 11:38 PM
She has a great body considering she has two kids. I mean, I know she has trainers and babysitters and all that crap but still. Good for her. Her hair is kind of freaky though... she needs to drop the weaves and shit.
26. Harry Sackhs - November 16, 2009 12:04 AM
oooohhhhh tiiitttties
27. christmas presents - November 16, 2009 12:08 AM
Thanks for the nice post. Britney is looking awesome in that bikini. But what is happening to britney's hair?? But after having two kids britney has maintained her figure nicely.
28. danny - November 16, 2009 12:11 AM
Is she wearing a wedding band?
I think she looks exactly like what she is: a pudgy Walmartian with enough money to shop at Target instead.
29. Superfan - November 16, 2009 12:54 AM
I am like totally obsessed with this site!! It is awesome!!
30. melaina - November 16, 2009 2:20 AM
Fish didn't right this, it doesn't have his usual wit, style or taste. You need to get your underlings to stop trying to emulate you and instead find personalities of their own.
31. melaina - November 16, 2009 2:21 AM
Fish didn't right this, it doesn't have his usual wit, style or taste. You need to get your underlings to stop trying to emulate you and instead find personalities of their own.
32. roxy - November 16, 2009 3:14 AM
She looks so sweet taking care of her kids <3, but she seriosly need to get slimmer.
PS - this is my favourite swimswit of hers^^
33. saywha? - November 16, 2009 6:01 AM
lol she wore this bikini before!!! what a stupid b*tch!!!
34. Chicken Fillet - November 16, 2009 6:20 AM
I don't mind her physique, strongly built for a girl but shapely. "Tasty fanny batter"... man, I'll never get tired of reading this rubbish.
35. ***krazihottkuntkelli*** - November 16, 2009 6:46 AM
huggz 2/
#1,2,and 3
and kizzez
2/da fizh♥
wtf iz zhe
going wear?>?
bikiniz all winter...
heheeeeeeee
36. qwerty - November 16, 2009 7:21 AM
Where's Leighton Meester's GQ spread.Everyone's posted it already.
37. crazzyfly - November 16, 2009 7:21 AM
New Britney Spears scandal photos and videos
http://www.nudebritney.org
38. Lame - November 16, 2009 8:01 AM
Good enough to stick in her.
39. Mickey01232000 - November 16, 2009 8:03 AM
That is the first picture that I have seen of her where her nipples weren't pointing at her toes. Still she looks like a house frau and isn't aging very well. She still looks better than her idol Skeletor, Madonna, but that hard living is catching up to her. If your face and body are your image you should take better care of yourself.
40. Corn Flake Cracker - November 16, 2009 8:12 AM
It looks dry, like burnt toast without butter.
Very sad.
41. Anon - November 16, 2009 8:14 AM
She would look amazing for someone who had two kids if she had the type of figure normal women had before but she didn't.
She had a perfect figure. She does look good now but those tits are fucked. They never did look quite right apart from the sometimes video but then she had the implants removed and well, now look at the after effect.
This is the best she's looked in a while even with the bodybuilder upper body.
42. going Rough: a superficial life - November 16, 2009 8:28 AM
Hey! im proposing a new reality tv show call Brit Brit knows best. The premise is best on the pics above...
43. going Rough: a superficial life - November 16, 2009 8:41 AM
best<base
44. Meh - November 16, 2009 9:08 AM
Her left nipple's trying to escape.
45. jlylec - November 16, 2009 9:15 AM
sure...i'd hit it.
46. Ice - November 16, 2009 9:31 AM
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47. pdxfacehole - November 16, 2009 10:06 AM
Her lazy tits bug me.
48. pdxfacehole - November 16, 2009 10:07 AM
Her lazy tits bug me.
49. Hugh Gentry - November 16, 2009 12:26 PM
her nips will always be too low
50. missywissy - November 16, 2009 1:13 PM
hmmmm..... just trying to figure out the fascination with this chick. She doesn't particulary have a lot of class, counts her steps when she dances, doesn't have the ability to sing live, doesn't wear flattering clothes, doesn't wash her hair, doesn't write her own music so she's basically a cover "artist", hasn't done anything to make headlines that has helped society to move forward, isn't extra intellegent, not what most people would consider a grade A mom, can't drive worth a shit, so why is she famous again???
51. tony - November 16, 2009 2:40 PM
Fatney is built like a man.
52. b - November 16, 2009 2:47 PM
Why do people say she looks good after 2 kids?
NO she doesn't she is a 27 year old that looks twice her age.
Cindy Crwaford is 43 with 2 kids and she looks a mllion times better than Fatney Spears.
53. orion - November 16, 2009 3:04 PM
Actually she has always has big chunky short legs. Even when she was
supposed to be "hot". It's just that then she used to work out hard and have
rock hard abs. Having kids is no excuse. She is a celebrity. She looks much older than her years. There are regular women who look better. She doesn't have good genetics. She is never going to be a tall lean supermodel type.
She's a natural chubby girl, who has to work very hard at being slim.
54. well - November 16, 2009 3:17 PM
The only people who thnk she looks good are her brirtarded fans.
55. Renee - November 16, 2009 5:20 PM
Her boobs are truly amazing. I can't figure them out. For a few years they we huge, then she looked flat chested, now they shrunk again. Either they are natural or she has a really small implants. Something about them don't look right though. Why are her nipples so low?
56. ash - November 16, 2009 7:51 PM
The short hair in the front is obviously her natural hair. Its long enough now to get rid of all that fake shit. Brit has rocked the short hair before and looked a million times better than the extensions.
57. ugg boots sale - November 17, 2009 5:56 AM
The short hair in the front is obviously her natural hair. Its long enough now to get rid of all that fake shit. Brit has rocked the short hair before and looked a million times better than the extensions.
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59. Amp88 - November 17, 2009 7:07 AM
Her hair is long enough to get rid of the extensions. To be honest, she could have a really cute bob haircut.
As for her body? I'd LOVE to look like her. =]
60. welldoneson - November 17, 2009 4:56 PM
You guys saying Britney looks like a man:
Stop beating your head against the wall; you're done.
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62. HalyconPrime - November 18, 2009 7:13 PM
Wow, time has not been kind with her. Talking about fugly. She looks OLD.
63. Superbiggerevil - November 19, 2009 6:48 PM
She's way beyond damaged goods.
64. M_D - November 20, 2009 8:10 PM
see! i never did believe she got implants and this is just another picture of proof.
65. wine clubs - November 21, 2009 8:26 PM
How far she has fallen, she at one time was so hot it was crazy...now I'm not even interested!
66. Kelli B - November 29, 2009 8:07 PM
She is gone forever!