Oct 13 2009Jessica Simpson wants you to respect Daisy's memory
According to her Twitter, Jessica Simpson is apparently receiving a barrage of fake reports claiming her coyote-snatched Malti-poo Daisy is still alive:
People have been contacting my family and friends saying that Daisy has been found. Untrue. People are so cruel..please respect her memory.
I'm sure this has to be frustrating for Jessica considering she'd probably believe me if I called and said I was Daisy - while using my normal voice.
JESSICA: Hello?
ME: Hey, Jessica, it's me Daisy.
JESSICA: But you're dead, and you never talked before.
ME: Then how did I know your name is Jessica?
JESSICA: .... OH MY GOD, DAISY! I missed you so much. Please come home.
ME: I'm trying, but I can't find my way unless you stand out in the yard topless.
JESSICA: I'm going right now! -- Wait a minute. Daddy? Is this you again?
ME: If I say "yes," will you still take your shirt off?
JESSICA: As long as you promise not to ground me.
ME: Done.
Reader Comments
1. lisa - October 13, 2009 9:02 AM
that damn dog
2. Arushi from FabBlab - October 13, 2009 9:04 AM
Haha @ the conversation :P
3. FREE - October 13, 2009 9:06 AM
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4. el commentatoro - October 13, 2009 9:06 AM
this is actually really sad.
5. the brother - October 13, 2009 9:10 AM
her back fat is disgusting
6. JADE - October 13, 2009 9:16 AM
Naas stop calling Jess , not funny anymore.
7. The indoctrination of Rough - October 13, 2009 9:18 AM
Does Pappy Joe ever give this girl room to breathe...
8. CrazyOldie - October 13, 2009 9:19 AM
lol.
I got a bone Jessica can fetch!
9. someguy - October 13, 2009 9:28 AM
She has big boobies. That is all I can say on this topic.
10. dshsfghsdf - October 13, 2009 9:36 AM
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11. Randal - October 13, 2009 10:03 AM
My sympathy and well wishes go out to you Jessica. Losing a loved member of the family can be down right depressing but you must remain strong. I know at this time it must seem there is more hate in the world than love but if you surround yourself with people who love you, the hate will never win.
Randal
12. Haorld^Sick - October 13, 2009 10:51 AM
She's a nice girl... I wish people would give her a break.
13. NG - October 13, 2009 11:05 AM
Dog, she's also a dog, stupid blonde. That is all.
14. zuzuspetals - October 13, 2009 11:07 AM
I had sworn I wouldn't be mean to Jessica while she's grieving the loss of her dog, but someone's gotta say it: Did her hairdresser get kidnapped by a coyote, too?
15. Anexio - October 13, 2009 11:07 AM
Why do the hot ones always have the shortest shelf life?
A couple of years ago she smokin' hot and now, not so much.
She's still bangable in a "I-fucked-a-celebrity" sort of way, but I could never date that.
OUT!
16. Jamaicafest - October 13, 2009 11:28 AM
Its sad that people could be so mean.
17. Delgo - October 13, 2009 12:30 PM
Nice prerequisite to side rolls, Jess
18. Dar - October 13, 2009 12:54 PM
Some people are such cruel, moronic jerks. I guess their own lives are so pathetic and meaningless, they can only get their rocks off by seeing other people hurting.
19. CakeSnifferer - October 13, 2009 1:37 PM
Get a grip kiddo, dogs die - it's what they do. If your dog outlives you then you automatically have bigger problems.
20. Janice Marie - October 13, 2009 1:55 PM
My heart does break over the loss of her dog - no one should have to go through that.
That being said, that convo was the funniest thing I heard all day. Thank you.
21. Oliver Chester The Molester Lester - October 13, 2009 1:58 PM
I would love to do her doggy style.
22. J-Hole - October 13, 2009 2:06 PM
Bwaaaahahahaaa!
Nice job Fish! funny post-- LMFAO !
23. xxWPxx - October 13, 2009 3:07 PM
No but seriously I found Daisy.
24. lalalaaaa - October 13, 2009 3:30 PM
that's pretty mean.
even if she was stupid, everybody deserves one friend that'll be there unconditionally.
Daisy was probably her only real friend that doesn't see the material things she has and only loved her for her, end up being snatched up by a coyote. plus, she doesn't know for sure, so no closure either. that's heartbreaking.
every meanie asshole here obviously never had that special friend that loved them to feel sympathy for someone who lost it.
25. lisa - October 13, 2009 5:12 PM
you're being cruel, fish
26. peoplearestupid - October 13, 2009 5:34 PM
I agree w/ lalalaaaa. C'mon people, have a heart. Do I like Jessica Simpson? No, not really. But I don't think being an inhuman asshole towards her is right either. She lost her dog and that's a horrible thing for anyone to have to go through.
27. cc - October 13, 2009 6:18 PM
"But I don't think being an inhuman asshole towards her is right either."
I feel sorry for her and her dog.
But it doesn't mean I wouldn't want to drag her to a bedroom and treat her like a whore.
28. Juan Mayor - October 13, 2009 8:03 PM
At least she's not married to Pete Wentz.
29. Danklin24 - October 13, 2009 8:11 PM
Where the hell do you see back fat? She's anything but fat. Idiots
30. Danklin24 - October 13, 2009 8:16 PM
If you dont think Jessica Simpson is sexy as hewll you're either gay or just have shitty taste in women.
31. peoplearestupid - October 13, 2009 8:42 PM
#27 thanks for showing some compassion for the poor girl. At least someone has a conscience!
As for treating her like a whore, it's quite possible that some awesome sex might make her feel a little better about her crappy situation. At least it always works for me.
32. peoplearestupid - October 13, 2009 8:43 PM
#27 thanks for showing some compassion for the poor girl. At least someone has a conscience!
As for treating her like a whore, it's quite possible that some awesome sex might make her feel a little better about her crappy situation. At least it always works for me.
33. clpierced - October 13, 2009 11:02 PM
i actually feel bad :( if i lost my baby kitty, i would be lost, forever. im sorry :(
34. Lesbians - October 14, 2009 6:28 AM
These shenanigans are going to turn Jessica Simpson into a lesbian in no time. Maybe she cam make the first celebrity lesbian sex tape!!
35. sd karte - October 14, 2009 6:59 AM
yep she is so famous.....
36. Daisy in the 12th dimension - October 14, 2009 9:02 AM
How buat a stateu and memorail day for me?