Oct 2 2009David Letterman stuck his penis in things. Also, something about extortion.

first?

World Wide Pants

Dave can now recycle all of his Clinton jokes on himself.

Why is this a big deal? Of course he screws around, he is in the entertainment industry right? Who cares! He is not a polition like Palin.

Great show host, for most of his run, but his personal life is a mess. You don't diddle the staff. Creepy.

Ill bet Jay Leno, beat him by a mile in that department too...

Funny how the American audience get squeamish when in sex is mention...in public of course!

Must have needed a ratings boost.

The guy had already been arrested. Why bring this shit out into the open?

See ratings boost.

.

hes a more awesome guy now than ever for manning up to it in this way

dave's got my respect

@7 because it was going to be leaked when they guy got out of jail like 3 hours later and lettermasn beat him to the punch to remove any satisfaction

dave is a class act

Weird reactions from the crowd.

And did anyone else get a Vaseline commercial before the clip? Awk-ward.

This confirms my opinion of him.... He's a dick!!

This confirms my opinion of him.... He's a dick!!

You don't diddle the staff, #5? I understand the policy reasn for this, but c'mon. People spend 8 hours a day plus with other in the office. Right now, have you co-workers are powing each other, or have in the past. It's reality. Sex flows through the workplace like the Mississipi river flows through the Heartland. Don't begrudge him a bit.

After he said "why yes I did have sex with staffers" he should have then shown pictures of him with Paul, Biff, and the late great Larry Bud Melman. But really who cares? Like it's a surprise that an unmarried man with lots of power and dough has sex with women. BFD. And as for the poster that "you don't have sex with the staff". I've never worked anywhere where people didn't have sex with each other. Sometimes the relationships work out to loving marriages. Sometimes it's a quickie on top of the copy machine. Either way, who cares?

It was consensual. I think he did the right thing by speaking about it. Comedians/Talk Show Hosts shouldn't be held to a higher standard so I don't see what the fuss was.

"Yo Dave, I’m really happy for you…Imma let you finish with dat bitch too. But South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford had one of the affairs of all time! One of the affairs of all time!"

dave letterman is an aaaaaaasssshole!! everyones known it forever, but at least he didn't seem like the typical hollywood douchebag, kinda sorta. surprise! turns out he's just as sleazy as all the people he makes fun of. so dave you're a judgmental prick and also a slimeball? when i'm famous, i'm never going on your show!!!

The big question: How did someone get a package into Letterman's car? Dave's a psycho magnet. He had that crazy stalker bitch breaking into his house for years, some crazy tried to kidnap his kid in Montana, so I've got to think he's got some kind of security that goes beyond a $12 car alarm he picked up at a flea market one weekend. How did the package get in there?

He is definitely a dick but screwing the help doesn't factor into that equation. If the lesser of our society do not submit to the desires of those who wield the power really .... where are we as a society?

He was living with his girlfriend of 23 years. I bet she cares. Apparently at least this one woman he slept with was also in a relationship with someone at the time. I bet he cares.

Dave Letterman is immoral. He is also a hipocrite. He has no class, and he is also a liar.
Madalyn

Okay, so he was poking some of the lady staff. Lots of people do it--he just got caught. Move on.

I'd fuck him.

Who cares? If I were in his position, I would do the same thing. Who wouldn't use their status to get women?

The audience just cracking up is so retarded. "Someone tried to extort me and I had affairs with multiple women who work for me in a highly inappropriate way." AHAHAHAH! So glad we didn't go to see Leno now!

I wonder if he banged howard stern's wife as she used to work on the show... maybe that's why she's in cali now to give leno a chance at bangin' her out.

This too...is Obama's fault

I'm just glad to hear he gets laid.

Hello, Mr Kettle?
Yes?
Sir, it's the Pot on line 2, he says he needs to speak with you.

I'm sleeping with someone at my workplace...

Paul Shaffer looks like a de-shelled tortoise.

@4 KIKI: Polition? LMAO!!!!!!!!! Spelling FAIL! EPIC! CLASSIC!

Way to go Dave! I wonder if he talked them into sex by reading them a "Why you should bang me instead of Leno" Top Ten List.

@ 32 Killboybands~ EPIC FAIL is a something only retards and 12 year olds say. Go stick your head up Palins twat. EPIC!

Did you have to use spell check to write that comment or did you call your local polition? LMAO!

P.S.
My head up Palin's twat.... I'll consider it.

You go, Dave! You smarmy, hypocritical asshole!

@34 I'll bet you would, that is why you are being derisive in the first place. LMAO is another overplayed thing to say gramps. Get a clue asshat.

Ha! Hope he caught an STD or two, what an NE elitist prick! Take your money & go away...

God bless Dave. He acts/talks like a human being. He and Carson were the last ones. He will be missed.

I'm glad he kicked the blackmailer in the balls by announcing it. I don't care if you banged the staff, just don't try to pretend you didn't - or be ashamed of it. Good for Dave.

Letterman is even more awesome now.

Someone fucked letterman? Seriously? WOW wonders never cease

I hope Letterman had the decency to give the underlings some champagne and Quaaludes before making tender old-guy love to them. Nonetheless, I'm sure it was a good career move for the Late Night hos he banged!

It's a man's World(wide Pants), BABY!

Good for Dave. Pop that pussy.

letterman is pure garbage. never was funny- not even by accident.
he was always a smug, far-left limosine liberal. i wish he would get fired but i don't really care because i never watch his show anyway.
now he is just some crotchety old man who is known for screwing around on his wife. i hope she divorces his crappy old ass and gets half of everything.
i bet he was also getting cornholed by some of the fags who worked on the show and gave him a staff of their own!
fuck you letterman!!!

What farty mcshitface said. x2

I hope his wife kicks his smug, hyprocritical ass to the curb. And cleans out his fucking bank account.

I've seen guys doing this worse.He still could run for president.

Letteman is such a bore. I definitely recommend him in lieu of Ambien.

He should have paid the guy in cash with Monopoly money.Just for the fun and to see his facial expression.

What a class act! Cheating on your girlfriend of many years with people who work under you. I just can't wait for the "will it float" segment!

I guess this scandle gives new meaning to "she is going to be ON Letterman tonight"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a DumbAss!

Again..

GOD gave men TWO heads..and brains only enough to use 0NE.

Sad..

Just like him.

So true #51. Some men can keep their brains in their pants, and some can't.

He would've been better off..Shoving his Penis into a Bee Hive.

I wish people would stop acting like sex is a big, scandalous deal. And stop using Clinton as an example of the Big Bad Sleazy President Who Had an Affair. I bet every president since Washington has grabbed the poot, he just got busted. I'm not slamming men - I love them, and I value a monogamous relationship, but I think men are wired differently than women. Why do men cheat on beautiful women? Because it's available. Separately, I've watched his show since the early 80s (when he was funniest and weirdest on NBC) and even saw him filming a segment in 85 near my high school. He was wearing shorts and had great legs and if I worked with him I would've done him too. A man of power is irresistible to women, so it takes two. No, you're not supposed to screw around in the office but it happens over and over. I doubt he had a gun to anyone's head. His private life is his private life.

holy balls people how complicated is this...

you don't shit where you sleep
you don't fuck where you work

it's not rocket science.

Hey CakeGirl, come on over and get some of my white icing for your cake

I love how people are laughing (but probably out of embarrassment) when his wife is probably at home crying and locking herself in her room.

I wonder if there will be an awkward pause the next time he makes a snide, smug remark about a politician or entertainer caught up in a sex scandal..... it just makes him seem like such a hypocrite. I hope his wife is kicking him in the balls right now for the embarassment he's brought on their family. Oh well, it's his private business, but he's dropped a couple of notches in my opinion.

Unlike women, men do not readily discuss personal medical conditions and disorders with their friends. It is for this reason that pearly penile papules are very misunderstood.

It is not surprising that you would be plagued by worry and paranoia at the appearance of a bump on the rim of your penis. Immediately you would suspect venereal disease or even worse, cancer. The likelihood is that you do not have either, but rather a simple case of pearly penile papules. Pearly penile papules are very common among men, especially uncircumcised men. They are not as a result of bad hygiene and are not contagious in any way whatsoever. Many men actually find that they appear and disappear without any treatment at all.

However, if you are feeling uncomfortable with them, they can be effectively removed with a simple treatment of radiofrequency surgery. You should however consult your doctor and have them seen to should they emit a discharge or are physically painful.

David Letterman has sex, stop the fucking press. NEXT.

ATTN: All Women

Men like to have sex. It's never going to change. There isn't any amount of social pressure, or guilt tripping that is going to alter our psychological destiny.

It's what we're here to do.

Women are hear to nag and hiss when it's confirmed that men like to have sex with different women. Ultimately, most men understand that women will never understand, so we keep it to ourselves.

@61- not all. Some people, both men and women, are asexual and never consider that at all. Like most biological traits, sex drive is distributed in the bell curve fashion and changes with time/ hormonal balance. Thereafter, culture, society comes into play, too.

I bet Elliot Spitzer is drinking champagne right now...

61- I actually kind of agree with your massive, sweeping generalization. A LOT of guys seem to want to just screw anything and everything. No doubt about that. But, why do these guys get married and have families? Seems really cruel to me. Why not just stay single and have sex with every intern, assistant, student or whatever they want? There's lots of women out there who think like that too. Or, at the very least, why don't these guys get smarter, and figure out a way to do it without getting caught.

Fart Bucket - #56 - You are spot on and freakin' hilarious!

While CNN and various outlets work overtime to overhaul Letterman's image, I think Dave is done. Why? Because Letterman is a comedian, and at the end of the day, all this blackmail stuff isn't funny and it isn't cool. And, it tends to stick in peoples minds. They ask questions. The last thing any comedian or anyone on any stage anywhere wants to ask their audience: what are you looking at?

#61 I feel really bad for you. What kind of sad sex life have you had? What kind of frigid women do you hang around with?

I have an active sex life. The puritanical outlook that most Americans have towards sex is not only unnatural, but it's repressive, and it only increases the fixation.

In comparison, Europe has fairly liberal views about sex, yet their societies are not on the verge of collapse. Americans treat sex like cloistered nuns, when in reality, they know as well as anyone what goes on behind closed doors. It's a false persona.

You cannot turn around such embedded nature. Not all men rationalize it that way. They think their feelings are changing. They think that they really are falling in love with someone else for all the right reasons. However, the underlying cause is seed spreading. It merely gets recast in the human mind as something more complex, and romantic. We intellectualize fairly straightforward behavior to hide our natural superficiality.

Even if Dave did such things while married, or in a relationship, it simply makes him human, not a monster. The clean up is between him, and the relevant parties, not some obsessive females who put themselves on ice over the threat of male wanderlust.

Married men often cheat because they're trying to address an urge that is overwhelming to them. The marriage may be dull, and past it's point of value, yet the feelings for the person still remain. It's rarely ever as simple as a man being arrogant, and diabolical. They are likely struggling with severe guilt, and disappointment with themselves. A married man might rationalize that engaging in such behavior will ultimately preserve their more meaningful relationship, while the affair might temper their constant lust. If you're not a man, then you probably won't understand. It's all just chimp behavior to women.

No doubt, feelings, and relationships are hurt, but at no point in history has the struggle ever been any different. Even in religious societies, it was assumed that men would have women on the side to purge such urges. This can be seen today by the high rates of infidelity in religious communities. I would say that the temptation is even greater in such communities.

All in all, relationships, especially with modern lifespans, are difficult to manage. Whatever indiscretions occur should be between the parties involved. Destroying people's characters over it is a bit diabolical.

Finally, to all of the women who think they have some devoted shclub to cuddle with at home, sure you do. You have that man until he is given options. Most men don't have options. They're not especially attractive, influential, or wealthy, so they speak righteously about their sexual discipline to increase their social cache. They don't want to be alone, so any relationship is a good relationship, until, you guessed it, their options change.

Under the right circumstances, anybody is capable of anything.

Monogamy is a fairly recent invention in the human world, and it has failed miserably on all accounts. Even married people often have kids, raise them, and then look for new horizons. Their duty is done, and life is short. They may not expect this change in thinking, or even desire it, but they don't have much control over it, and often they do the best that they can.

The fact that divorce rates are so high, and the dependencies found in traditional relationships no longer apply, it's little wonder why it's so common for even fairly bland individuals to be caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

Considering the circumstances, Dave handled the situation with as much dignity as a person could.

Yawn.....wow, that was a lot of words, #68. Way too many for a place like this. I did manage to skim it for an overview, though. I'm sure that essay would have got you an A in a sociology class, maybe even biology or psychology. You seem to know what you're talking about, and it's obvious how you live your life. I just think you're generalizing way too much, and not making allowances for differences in personalities or cultures. I feel sorry for Dave's wife and son. His foolishness will damage them all. Should have just gotten divorced, Dave. Or never married in the first place. Who knows, maybe they have an open marriage. Good for them, but jeez, a little more discretion please!

I would have bet it all that the Grinder Girl and the Hula Hoop Girl were involved.

I would have bet it all that the Grinder Girl and the Hula Hoop Girl were involved.

Wait, so David Letterman is not a perfect gentleman, people actually care about the Kardashian sisters, and Miley Cyrus makes money singing live music???? Is this Armageddon?!?!