Aug 18 2009Madonna vs. The Sun: The Battle Continues...
Here's Madonna in Portofino, Italy celebrating her 51st birthday and, yes, she's wearing a jersey with her own name on it. Because a woman who parades around on stage in fishnets can't wear a bathing suit, she has to look like LeBron James after a terrible bleaching accident. As if that's not bad enough, after jumping into the water, Madonna finds the sun's rays to be too harsh and makes an assistant swim out to her. Holding an umbrella. Jesus. Could you imagine if the water was too cold? "Hey. Somebody swim out here and build me a fire. Madonna demands warmth!"

Reader Comments
1. Que - August 18, 2009 12:45 PM
Que undettered leather.
2. Shep - August 18, 2009 12:48 PM
Looks like some sort of mid evil experiment to see if she's a witch or not....... I know which one I'm putting my money on
3. spaaanky - August 18, 2009 12:50 PM
I heard her right shoulder has sustained a ton of sun damage. Good thing she has that umbrella. Idiot.
4. Sport - August 18, 2009 12:52 PM
she's frightening. Fucking scary.
5. KKK - August 18, 2009 12:55 PM
white people are dumb
6. The 'A' Man - August 18, 2009 1:01 PM
Thank heavens she aint wearing a bikini!!!!!
7. dandi - August 18, 2009 1:02 PM
I was out last night when think about this lady of music and whiteness. She shine on my head brain and I thinking, why the sun so afraid of the skin of her? Then I hit head with me palm and said, 'FACEPALM!' and makes me laugh.
8. ptooey - August 18, 2009 1:03 PM
picked scab
9. Christhebliss - August 18, 2009 1:03 PM
Madonna: The new face of geriatrics
10. dandi - August 18, 2009 1:04 PM
I was out last night when think about this lady of music and whiteness. She shine on my head brain and I thinking, why the sun so afraid of the skin of her? Then I hit head with me palm and said, 'FACEPALM!' and makes me laugh.
11. dandi - August 18, 2009 1:04 PM
I was out last night when think about this lady of music and whiteness. She shine on my head brain and I thinking, why the sun so afraid of the skin of her? Then I hit head with me palm and said, 'FACEPALM!' and makes me laugh.
12. gaggletooth - August 18, 2009 1:11 PM
Ican'tfindthespacebar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
13. farles chew - August 18, 2009 1:12 PM
"Death Takes a Dip"
14. TUBBO - August 18, 2009 1:16 PM
Natalie Wood drowns and just our luck this freak has cork up her ass..........
15. Lenny - August 18, 2009 1:22 PM
Oh, I know these pictures!
They're from an exclusive photoshoot for http://www.gothsinhotweather.com
16. Jill Smith - August 18, 2009 1:26 PM
that lady is stupid
17. Madonna who? - August 18, 2009 1:26 PM
#'s 7, 10, 11- LMFAO!!!!
18. macca - August 18, 2009 1:28 PM
She's crossing into MJ territory. Watch the trashy NJ Italiano chick morph into the Bristish royal sunfreak skeletor...
19. Madonna who? - August 18, 2009 1:28 PM
#'s 7, 10, 11- LMFAO!!!!
20. Savalas - August 18, 2009 1:29 PM
Nice gams, granny!
21. $avalas - August 18, 2009 1:30 PM
Nice gams, granny!
22. Shavalas - August 18, 2009 1:33 PM
Sorry! Ignore comment 21 and look at comment 20!
23. Carolyn - August 18, 2009 1:40 PM
My god but she's ugly.
24. material bag - August 18, 2009 1:41 PM
like a sturgeon....hey
25. Guido - August 18, 2009 1:52 PM
Ugly thick calloused Italian mammone's feet...make me some homemade tomato sauce bitch!...an get me a beer yuze at it
26. dandi - August 18, 2009 1:53 PM
When I make facepalm, its makes me think, do others in around me say 'hey, that girl is giving facepalm for? Does she drink crazy juices for breakfast?"
I hope they think it crazy. Cause I facepalm again and scream 'I do it again!!!!!' and then I slap the knee..
27. dandi - August 18, 2009 1:53 PM
When I make facepalm, its makes me think, do others in around me say 'hey, that girl is giving facepalm for? Does she drink crazy juices for breakfast?"
I hope they think it crazy. Cause I facepalm again and scream 'I do it again!!!!!' and then I slap the knee..
28. Io - August 18, 2009 1:55 PM
there are truly some desperate people in this world. were I a man, I would rather have my penis shrivel up, turn to dust and be carried away in the wind that to even think of allowing it anywhere near the crypt keeper, not to mention allowing my mouth near hers or her twat
29. Max Planck - August 18, 2009 1:57 PM
Be careful what you say here.
She may unleash her flying monkeys.
30. Gacked on Madonna - August 18, 2009 1:58 PM
Dignity and seclusion are two words this ugly fuck should look up. She needs a body guard or 4 because every average man wants to throw her down a flight of stairs. When she was tweny and had hairy arm pits she would suck your dick for twenty bucks, she got worse with age. Proof no matter how much money some people have they will always be assholes.
31. dandi - August 18, 2009 2:02 PM
But I have never heard of the monkeys flying!!! It does scare me that I think now they use their tail for helecopter. Whip whip whip around and shoot up in the big sky!!!!!!
FACEPALM!!
I never knew the monkey flying!!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
32. dandi - August 18, 2009 2:02 PM
But I have never heard of the monkeys flying!!! It does scare me that I think now they use their tail for helecopter. Whip whip whip around and shoot up in the big sky!!!!!!
FACEPALM!!
I never knew the monkey flying!!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
33. sandwichman - August 18, 2009 2:06 PM
dandi, marry me.
34. mrs.t - August 18, 2009 2:35 PM
make sure at least one of her adopted kids is wearing and 'i heart madonna' t-shirt....it's in nanny handbook. she will cut you.
and can dandi run for office?
35. mrs.t - August 18, 2009 2:35 PM
make sure at least one of her adopted kids is wearing and 'i heart madonna' t-shirt....it's in nanny handbook. she will cut you.
and can dandi run for office?
36. Progesterone - August 18, 2009 2:38 PM
Nice going, try to hide from the sun. She doin it to keep wrinkles of her forhead or something? Cuz I dont see the big issue, she can just have another plastic operation if she starts getting wrinkles.. xD
37. Stinky - August 18, 2009 2:39 PM
The sun is winning...
38. Mr Smith - August 18, 2009 2:41 PM
Cant believe that a star of her size (erhmm..) can behave so strange.. I mean, come on, clothes with her own name on them? xD
39. Rasputins Liver - August 18, 2009 3:00 PM
.
OH FOR THE LOVE OF FREEKIN' GAWD!!
Mad-donna looks fuckin' hagged beyond belief. She looks like Grannie Clampett for cryin' out loud. She should be ashamed! But barring that, the very least she could do is spare the rest of us the sight of her grotesquery.
The great British actrss Helen Mirren at 64 years old looks a 1000 times better in a bikini than does Hagdonna! Check it out:
http://images.hollywoodgrind.com:9000/images/2008/7/hellen-mirren-bikini.jpg
[img]http://images.hollywoodgrind.com:9000/images/2008/7/hellen-mirren-bikini.jpg[/img]
.
40. Kelley - August 18, 2009 3:25 PM
Good post, but what's with the three times ?? Helen really looks awesome.
41. Sarah - August 18, 2009 3:30 PM
Hey I don't know who that lady Hellen Mirren is, but you're right - she looks way better than Madonna. Normally I don't bother to comment, but these pictures of Madonna are just plain annoying. She has issues.
42. Courtyardpigeon - August 18, 2009 4:41 PM
Seriously, and umbrella in the water?
43. april - August 18, 2009 4:54 PM
at least she's keeping that shit under wraps. mostly. can't believe that young dude is doing her.weird
44. Sarah2 - August 18, 2009 5:04 PM
she's trying to fill the creepy pale superstar void left by jacko...
45. Sarah2 - August 18, 2009 5:04 PM
she's trying to fill the creepy pale superstar void left by jacko...
46. Biff - August 18, 2009 5:22 PM
Hey, look at the dog! And the cute little poodle, too.
47. girl - August 18, 2009 5:34 PM
She knows nobody wants to see her disgusting
zombie body.
48. Vince - August 18, 2009 5:57 PM
Hey #18. for the record she is from Detroit Michigan and then she lived in New York City she is not from New Jersey. This bitch is about as Italian as the Olive Garden. She is an utter disgrace to Italians everywhere!
49. mad-donna - August 18, 2009 6:15 PM
that young dude is doing her because hes a latino and latinos are menwhores that could bang any old creepy hag for money ! no one in the world (besides her gays fans) could find this woman atractive or nice, she s a shameless, megalomaniac, ugly cunt !
but hey,
look at the black kid wearing that stupid shirt *i love maddona* WTF ! and the other latino looking at them while they kiss ! priceless, he s like WOW, gross ! but i guess the money is good though, so keep fucking the hag JESUS !
BTW very nice swimsuit you old miserable hag !
50. mad-donna - August 18, 2009 6:16 PM
that young dude is doing her because hes a latino and latinos are menwhores that could bang any old creepy hag for money ! no one in the world (besides her gays fans) could find this woman atractive or nice, she s a shameless, megalomaniac, ugly cunt !
but hey,
look at the black kid wearing that stupid shirt *i love maddona* WTF ! and the other latino looking at them while they kiss ! priceless, he s like WOW, gross ! but i guess the money is good though, so keep fucking the hag JESUS !
BTW very nice swimsuit you old miserable hag !
51. sheana - August 18, 2009 6:36 PM
didn't she adopt some young children she should be taking care of?
52. idontwannamadonna - August 18, 2009 7:56 PM
Somewhere, the ORIGINAL woman called "The Madonna" continues to spin in her final resting place, calling to her son to stop this crazy succubus.
53. yuck - August 18, 2009 8:06 PM
I can't believe she's wearing a shirt with her own name on it. Then she'll probably complain that she's being recognized/antagonized by the paparazzi. What a crazy old bag. She's probably in the ocean to feed on krill....
and dandi, you are most delightful.
54. madonna is made of handbag - August 18, 2009 8:12 PM
#13- Hah! Yeah!
and
#39- Oh my god, she DOES look like Granny Clampett!!!....
55. Kelley - August 18, 2009 8:49 PM
Holy, those cheek implants look RUDE in the side-shots. Too much, man.
56. Crocoduck - August 18, 2009 9:19 PM
Look out, snakes have her by the arms!!!
Oh, sorry, those are just her veins.
57. Sickitten - August 18, 2009 10:25 PM
Brassy assed hair. She really is a boob. An uneducated boob.
58. katyperryishot - August 18, 2009 11:13 PM
well well, it looks like whenever there are some pics where we get to look at those horrible grim reaper arms we see they are very sinewy and boney and just plain wretched!
are we going to get some more stupid fuckers trying to proclaim that her arms don't look like that. that they are photoshpoed to look worse than they are- BULLSHIT!!!
her whole damn body is shit! and she looks awful!
how many pics will it take for some to face the facts that she looks awful?
i doubt they will ever accept the truth.
59. not blonde - August 19, 2009 2:03 AM
Good luck for any of you haters looking like anything than shi* when you're all 51. I suspect this was for some photo shoot. Besides, if a girl wants to put on some crazy costume and jump in the ocean - it ain't nobodies business but their own. Michael Jackson paraded around with his drug addicted body in dumb-a88 costumes and everyone is like "He's the King".
60. bou - August 19, 2009 2:06 AM
Nanny McPhee
61. dontlooknow - August 19, 2009 7:19 AM
I can't wait to hear how "her people" explain the umbrella in the water....
62. Rhialto - August 19, 2009 9:31 AM
I've seen Jason Statham making a better dive into the water!
63. Darth - August 19, 2009 9:36 AM
#64
Since she's working out 24/7 i would have expected at least the same from her! Athletic capacities!?
64. Galtacticus - August 19, 2009 9:41 AM
Could there be any sharks in the water? She looks afraid.
65. Gando - August 19, 2009 9:50 AM
That umbrella thing.She has probably seen this in Malawi.Maybe people are using there an umbrella against the sun too.
66. yo - August 19, 2009 11:43 AM
she looks like fucking gollum. i guess her true age is catching up with her.
67. A-rod - August 19, 2009 2:00 PM
This MADNESS needs to be stop! Who is selling steroids to Madaonna!?!? WHO?
68. bigpapi - August 19, 2009 2:15 PM
When I was in college, Madonna was "the shit". What the Fuck happend? This cript keeper really needs to go away and never return. I choose to watch "Vision Quest" and remember the good old days!
69. penis enlargement pills - August 19, 2009 5:08 PM
Holy, those cheek implants look RUDE in the side-shots. Too much, man. Madonna vs. The Sun: The Battle Continues...
70. devilsrain - August 20, 2009 12:24 AM
"Could you imagine if the water was too cold? "Hey. Somebody swim out here and build me a fire" or someone could just piss near her. Maybe thats why everyone in the water is on top of her. WTF "SWIM VERY CLOSE TO ME OR YOURE FIRED"
71. AMO - August 20, 2009 11:25 AM
Reply to macca: Too bad she's from Detroit...
72. gwhh - August 22, 2009 4:32 PM
what happen to you madonna, you use to be cool?
73. zebop - August 24, 2009 9:09 PM
I'd hit it, but her dick is bigger than mine.