Heidi Montag rehearses her 'music'
Here's Heidi Montag rehearsing in the Bahamas on Friday and Saturday for her performance at tonight's 2009 Miss Universe Pageant, and you know what I love most about these pics? No audio. Say what you want about Heidi, but at the end of the day, that's the kind of body you want to see attached to a mute woman whose secretly gay husband fell off a cliff. Don't deny what's in your heart.

Reader Comments
1. EatIt - August 23, 2009 4:27 PM
Eat shit.
2. Tal - August 23, 2009 4:28 PM
first!
3. Xander Harris - August 23, 2009 4:30 PM
Um awkward question... are they ALL trannies? No, I'm being serious, every one of her backup dancers (and heidi herself) all look like they, at one point or another, were or are men.
4. bubba - August 23, 2009 4:31 PM
Hey #1 (Spencer) -- you're worthless.
5. Xander Harris - August 23, 2009 4:34 PM
Not that there's anything wrong with trannies... more power to 'em. It... just doesn't seem like heidi's style. Unless... OF COURSE! SHE'S ONE OF THEM!! I get it now.
Do I win a prize? is that prize lighting Spencer Pratt on fire? I'd like that.
6. Charlie - August 23, 2009 4:44 PM
What a twat!
7. wick - August 23, 2009 4:49 PM
It takes a lot of self-loathing to have so much plastic surgery so early in one's life.
8. TheOverrated - August 23, 2009 4:51 PM
id hit it!
if i were a bat, with spikes dipped in rubbing alcohol. she sucks
9. calypso - August 23, 2009 4:58 PM
Look at that CHIN! Jesus Christ! If she had plastic surgery, why didn't she get that damn thing shaved down a bit? You could land a jet on it.
10. Martina - August 23, 2009 4:58 PM
Wow, she's a singer? Who knew!
Heidi, Heidi, Heidi - where's that sex tape?
11. JJ - August 23, 2009 5:01 PM
Wow. She totally copied the Britney Spears sparkly nude suit from the VMAs back in 2000. C'mon Heidi...
12. Photoshop Police - August 23, 2009 5:09 PM
STOP GIVING THESE NO-TALENT DOUCHEBAGS PRESS!
- end of message
13. the dude - August 23, 2009 5:16 PM
good lord, I'm tossed on the best comment to leave here:
jesus invented makeup specifically for heidi montag
I hope that bedazzled paper bag isn't her actual costume for the event.
she can stop with "i'm a blow up doll" pose any day now
is the mic wire supposed to be overly obvious to trick us into thinking she's NOT lip syncing?
14. the dude - August 23, 2009 5:18 PM
good lord, I'm tossed on the best comment to leave here:
jesus invented makeup specifically for heidi montag
I hope that bedazzled paper bag isn't her actual costume for the event.
she can stop with "i'm a blow up doll" pose any day now
is the mic wire supposed to be overly obvious to trick us into thinking she's NOT lip syncing?
15. penis enlargement - August 23, 2009 5:22 PM
Heidi Montag rehearses Wow, she's a singer? Who knew!
16. Mike - August 23, 2009 5:40 PM
WTF!!! This is a rip-off of Britney at the vma's 2000
http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/3290/195353.jpg
17. fl - August 23, 2009 5:41 PM
ok, too much Heidi Montag shite on this site now. boring.
moving on.
its been nice,
cheers
18. GOD ALMIGHTY - August 23, 2009 5:56 PM
GOD ALMIGHTY DOES NOT APPROVE.
P.S.
POST MORE MILLA. :)
19. Vince Lombardi - August 23, 2009 6:25 PM
No, you're not mistaken. Every one of those backup dancers are transsexuals.
20. Intermino - August 23, 2009 6:30 PM
The only thing I like about her is her body.
21. Urbanspaceman - August 23, 2009 6:34 PM
Why do they wear those head-mics when they're lip-syncing anyway?
22. casualencounters.com/blog - August 23, 2009 6:41 PM
What the hell is this freakshow bimbo wearing. Is she at the BEACH?
23. Frank - August 23, 2009 6:45 PM
Hate her, but any dude who says he wouldn't absolutely wreck that body is lying. Those melons in that tank top are RIPE.
24. Zee Brat - August 23, 2009 6:51 PM
Obviously http://thesuperficial.com/2009/08/heidi_montag_rehearses_her_mus.php?bfm_index=5 should be the main photo.
25. Alli Watermelon - August 23, 2009 7:03 PM
Anyone else notice how all of her back up dancers are BRUNETTE? She's the only blonde. Why does she always have to try and be the center of attention?? It's kinda pathetic...lol
26. Pam - August 23, 2009 7:11 PM
Someone call Jenny Craig and help them plan an intervention for this fat pig.
27. superstar - August 23, 2009 7:24 PM
She looks like she's gained a few lbs.
28. twzzlrgirl - August 23, 2009 7:58 PM
Those are the uglies backup dancers EVER.
Also, why does Heidi look like she's cumming and/or about to give a blow job in so many of those pics? It's like they are the only poses she knows. She really IS only good for porn!!!
29. guest - August 23, 2009 8:16 PM
UGH!
Why does she get so much attention!?
NOBODY
CARES
ABOUT
HER
!!!!
30. Emily - August 23, 2009 8:29 PM
I would like to just draw attention to the small, strange man at the bottom right of the first picture. The one who looks like he is made out of some sort of cardboard?
Hmm...
31. kimberly - August 23, 2009 8:31 PM
I love how she always sluts it up "for Jesus".
32. Hugh Gentry - August 23, 2009 8:42 PM
Heidi has quite the bod. I'd luv to detail that thing
33. Mama Pinkus - August 23, 2009 9:16 PM
it's pretty bad when you can tell a performer sucks from pictures only
34. F it - August 23, 2009 9:28 PM
She has an awesome body. Buy she is married to a douche. Deduct for the hubby. She rates a 5 after the deduct.
35. adam - August 23, 2009 9:33 PM
I think the back up dancer is Andy Dick in a Suri Cruise wig
36. JournalStone - August 23, 2009 10:10 PM
Somebody like Heidi Montag is the epitome of misguided adoration. She has a decent body but has somehow made it into the limelight and gets paid $500k to pose for Playboy. We hear about her all the time on every rag publication and what has she done. Spencer is even worse. He is nothing more than a pimp want-to-be and tags along behind his hot women.
http://journalstone.com/2009/08/12/motivational-inspiration-or-misguided-aspirations/
37. JournalStone - August 23, 2009 10:11 PM
Somebody like Heidi Montag is the epitome of misguided adoration. She has a decent body but has somehow made it into the limelight and gets paid $500k to pose for Playboy. We hear about her all the time on every rag publication and what has she done. Spencer is even worse. He is nothing more than a pimp want-to-be and tags along behind his hot women.
38. Randal - August 23, 2009 10:35 PM
Heidi, you're looking great! It's nice to see some fresh talent moving forward in the industry and keeping it real. The pictures you provide are a window into a glamorous life style, yet you're still able to connect to everyday folks.
Amazing outfit by the way, simply stunning!
Randal
39. Dweezel - August 23, 2009 10:47 PM
She has stubby little legs.
40. Dr. Zulu - August 23, 2009 10:53 PM
You know what, I think she looks just like OctoMom but with blond hair. I'm sure they must both use the same plastic surgeon, and he should quit and kill himself after seeing what his work has turned them into.
41. spicy - August 23, 2009 11:42 PM
Randall-- Seriously??
I will agree with you on Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose's ass, but I need you to take back every sentence you wrote about heidi or else i will have to cut off your balls.
42. THAT_GIRL_JENN - August 23, 2009 11:46 PM
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
PERFECT BODY?
HOW DOES SOMEONE WHO HAD THEIR BODY ALTERED HAVE THE PERFECT BODY? SHE IS FAKE FAKE FAKE. SO BEING FAKE MUST BE THE WAY TO HAVE A PERFECT BODY? EW. GIVE ME KIM ANYDAY.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
43. batman - August 24, 2009 12:12 AM
I like the look in Spencer´s face on the 1st. pic...
That´s him, right?
44. Jumper - August 24, 2009 12:46 AM
Does anyone think she knows she's a joke yet? Jesus, I watched her bullshit to laugh but it was just sad. Please fish, make it stop. Her fifteen minutes have to be up...
45. friendlyfires - August 24, 2009 12:49 AM
This is why I stopped watching the Miss Universe contest ... besides, I've got Winona Ryder and Ignatz Mouse ... I mean Chrtinina Ricci to keep me company ... hey, you all like the body on Christina? You're welcome. I suffered but enjoyed nonetheless. nuff said
46. ginger - August 24, 2009 12:55 AM
she looks like chris crocker...
and i think one of the back up dancers is a dude
47. Alli Watermelon - August 24, 2009 1:18 AM
#42...THAT GIRL JENN....are you ALWAYS so bitter? Fuck child, get some self-esteem. I agree that Heidi is fake, but you seem to bitch about the same things over and over. Same shit, different day. Go enroll yourself in an, "I Love Me" class or twelve.
48. resveratrol supplements - August 24, 2009 1:29 AM
That is the best picture in the set, she looks great, wish i could say it about her singing.
49. bribios - August 24, 2009 1:53 AM
Best body money can buy. If only you could do something with that whole head region.
50. Fly - August 24, 2009 2:58 AM
mummmm i like to fuck in her mouth and tight ass hole ohh what a nice fucking body come suck my dick baby !!!!!!!!!!! i love you
51. Sickitten - August 24, 2009 3:14 AM
#9, that is so fucking great & true. Yeah she needs a SAWZALL taken to that chin! The funny thing is she never thought to get the surgery on her chin & jaw to look less horsey instead she spent the money on a breast job. Bitches with this affliction don't even realize they have a big chin because when they look in the mirror they focus on the whiteness of their teeth (which are usually pretty horsey too. Goes with the territory) their eye makeup, etc. So, I'm gonna bet that she has no idea...
52. saywha? - August 24, 2009 7:43 AM
lol she tried to come off as britney in the 2001 vma's and she ended up worse than britney in the 2007 vma's. seriously, go back to staging "candid" bikini shots you worthless slut!
53. Domino - August 24, 2009 7:54 AM
Isn't that Britney's outfit from a few years back?
54. 1moreidiotintheworld - August 24, 2009 7:57 AM
Whats up with the backup dancer in #7???? Looks like Cousin Itt who just got a whiff of Heidi's fart in his/her face.......
55. sharlin kaur - August 24, 2009 8:04 AM
She is really hot :)
56. Funny - August 24, 2009 8:08 AM
I like it how everyone's complaining about her chin but I bet 90% of the people here would chop their balls off for 5 minutes with her.
You would hit that. You'd all hit that. So stop acting like you wouldn't.
57. dontlooknow - August 24, 2009 9:25 AM
To think of the gargantuan self-delusion she has in her new "talent"...
Whatever gets you through the night.
58. STOPPOSTINGHER - August 24, 2009 10:51 AM
Don't care don't care don't care!
59. abby - August 24, 2009 11:41 AM
*barf*
Spears rip off.
60. hahaha! - August 24, 2009 12:20 PM
Did anyone actually watch her performance last night?? She has to be the most spastic "performer" ever to don spandex. I also read somewhere that she was going to try not to lip sync.... Not exactly. Fish, please post a video of the agonizing "performance". It's terrible (in a very gratifying way)
61. Darth - August 24, 2009 5:49 PM
It's hard to see whether she's giving aerobic or yoga instructions?
62. Galtacticus - August 24, 2009 5:54 PM
Pic 6 and pic 7.
I've seen than those better mouth shots from her.
63. nelly - August 25, 2009 4:11 AM
i wish she could see these comments and realize that sadaam was less hated than her. go get a life
64. nelly - August 25, 2009 4:11 AM
i wish she could see these comments and realize that sadaam was less hated than her. go get a life
65. Charlie Huntley - August 25, 2009 8:47 AM
Has anyone spotted My FlatStanley at the foot of the Stage??
66. Campanola Watches - August 25, 2009 2:37 PM
These two are worthless. All the attention they are receiving is terrible as well... My favorite quote from Heidi was when she said she was "like a modern day Mother Theresa"... yep.. she actually said that. WTF.
67. speidie Die - August 25, 2009 10:54 PM
Does this hag EVER shut her fucking pie hole?
68. lilmama - August 26, 2009 11:35 AM
does anyone notice she has holes in her shirt????....did she shop at good will that morning???...what a dumb bitch......lauren conrad is and always will be better than her......she looks like a transy
69. glucosamine - December 31, 2009 7:31 AM
Yes, and we are all certain that God is happy that you are representing him and his son by parading your naked body to the world - you are such a good Christian girl. Between Christ and Playboy I’m confused at which is more proud of you Heidi…