Aug 14 2009Heidi Montag in Playboy

"That's a photoshop, I can tell" guy, this is YOUR MOMENT. Have at it.

She's such a waste of space

Oh, they didn't photoshop her EQUINE face too much in the first one did they? She looks like Xtina Aguilera.

What a beautiful horse.

BAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Pic 8 has some serious symbolism going on... Her Jesusly hoo hoo will scorch you with devil fire if you try to climb her Holy Mountain

If you want to see her naked check out the August issue of Horse Illustrated. Pages 23-30.

she actually looks fuckable here. I think it's bacause there is nothing coming out of her mouth.

Holy shit they softened her face in every picture.

I think I might have to cancel my subscription to playboy now

*because*

@7 - you can see more of here here:

www.enjoyhorses.net

And by "devil fire", what I meant to say was "herpes". Sorry for the slip up.

She looks like she is drugged in all these photos. I guess you would have to be to hang out with fag boy Spencer.

I cannot believe Hef approved this, this cunt needs to get hit by a truck.

Playboy isn't what it used to be...

Hey, now we have all seen as much of Heidi as her husband.YAY!!!

This will probably be Playboys WORST seller.......they could have just as easily called MATTEL toys for all the PLASTIC and work done on this broad.

Fuck...I'm getting Kourtney & Khloe pop ups CONSTANTLY on this site. It's like the fish has herpes....

I know that Playboy has been shallow and stupid for years, but puts the lid on the coffin.

i think this photoshoot is proof that hef needs to croak already...

So why's this in playboy and not maxim? You see more tit in the swimsuit edition.

WTF is with Playboy doing all of these non-nude celeb covers??

"10. ksu-cat - August 14, 2009 12:51 PM

I think I might have to cancel my subscription to playboy now."

I hope you're joking...about paying money for pictures of naked women. The internet is for porn...

I'd hit it as long as she didn't speak. At least i'm honest. =x

Wow! Now that's a real blonde haired blue eyed beauty just like Wotan meant em to look! You can hate her all you want,but she is the finest thing you have posted to date.

WTF is up with her neck in that 1st pic? Horrible photoshopping attaching the head to the body there.

Playboy is the new Maxim. Playboy is the new Maxim.Playboy is the new Maxim.Playboy is the new Maxim.Playboy is the new Maxim.Playboy is the new Maxim.Playboy is the new Maxim.Playboy is the new Maxim.

If I consider Spencer to be a flaming festering twat would it be correct to describe Heidi as a steaming pile of Spencer?

Or do they each have such exponentially increasing twattiness by themselves that it would not be mathmatically correct to only call them a twat in an individual form?

I suspect that Heidi and Spencer will join one day into a massive twat black hole singularity where the gravitational force will be so great that all intelligence and, the umm…..that other thing…..ummm…duuuhhhhhhh………….

I have to say, BORING
When someone came up with "no talent assclown" they had to have been thinking about Spencer & Heidi.
Both are no talent assclowns who are what? Oh, NOTHING
Don't go away mad bible bangers just go the fuck away and take that skank wife with you Spencey

Is this woman physically capable of closing her mouth? It's hanging open in every pic. Despite that, she looks better than usual, thanks to photoshop making her not look like her.

U C more at a public pool. How bout that John Silky Edwards babydaddy?

like victoria's secret w lots of air brushing.....SLUT!

BORING!!!

How can I jerk off on Playboy anymore???

How can I jerk off on Playboy anymore???

@15. Jim

Yup, Playboy is crap...they're now in the same league as Playgirl. Hefner needs to take control of his company again.

not that i care to see another pair of sturdy fake boobs & a creepily waxed landing strip, but i'm surprised hef agreed to this

This vapid whore doesn't even deserve to be in Hustler's Beaver Hunt section. Talentless, soul-less, average-looking, married to the fucking Anti-Christ cunt. Lord, strike me down, but I wish she and that fuckwad husband of her's would be brutally murdered. Where's the fucking Manson family when you need them. And p.s., I've taken better "nude" pics of myself for my fiance on my camera phone. The only thing this issue of Playboy is good for is if you run out of Charmin in the house.

horseface. below average blonde ditz. no personality. that's what sells in u.s.a.
blame the rich white men. heidi is a disgrace to the female race. i hope she get's her shit together. there are no celebrities with dignity anymore. oh yeah--celebrities are a social construct. thank you mindless delight of being a u.s. citizen.

@35- I don't know. I just don't know.

I say we all be our own celebrities.
Anna, please autograph one of your nekkid pics and send to me.
McBeef - strike a pose on the red carpet and then flash your junk.
fotiesandblunts - get drunk and fight with a christmas tree.

See. We don't need them.

WTF is wrong with Playboy these days?! Not one GODDAMN nipple!

Boring pictures, whats the point of being in playboy? Oh yeah they actually paid her for this weak shit. I would smack her repeatedly about the face with my schwack apple.

She looks like she's picking off lip skin in the pic where she is completely nude and "getting ready to lie down". Why does anyone know her name? I can't figure out...

zsa

I think Heidi get a bad break because of Spencer. She needs to leave Spencer. I was in a relationship with a "Spencer" before and believe me, he was in complete control of the whole photo shoot and ran the whole thing. I wish we could see Heidi without the puppet master running her. One thing I don't understand with the pictures is, why is there dirt all over her? The pic on the beach. I'mm 99% sure that was Spencer's idea, show the world what a dirty gir Heidi is. And I bet Spencer is making Heidi regret that she ever agreed to do Playboy. Well, as long as Spencer gets the money......

I think Heidi get a bad break because of Spencer. She needs to leave Spencer. I was in a relationship with a "Spencer" before and believe me, he was in complete control of the whole photo shoot and ran the whole thing. I wish we could see Heidi without the puppet master running her. One thing I don't understand with the pictures is, why is there dirt all over her? The pic on the beach. I'mm 99% sure that was Spencer's idea, show the world what a dirty gir Heidi is. And I bet Spencer is making Heidi regret that she ever agreed to do Playboy. Well, as long as Spencer gets the money......

picture #8- her eyes are flying in 7 different directions...its a shame this girl is presented in front of the public

Now talk about accessory to blue ballz, What happen to all the christian magazines that are out there?

-I wonder if Heidi and Spencer gets their period concurrently. Next stop baby route
-next stop for playboy chapter 11, hopefully...

Damn she has a huge head

(and #25 you have GOT to be kidding)

She is just gross but they make the perfect couple. Does she have a nice bod? Yes. Mostly fake but nice. But she is just dumb which is also unattractive. She reminds me of Tori Spelling, just uglier and I didnt think that was possible. Thank God beauty is only a light switch away!

@lauri- stop lying.

don't you need to be 18 to buy playboy? if so, why is there no tits?

Um where is her neck?

Such a butterface

No Tits, No Pussy, No ass in this pictures!!!! At least we watch them free hope this Playboy Edition go to hell!!!

Biggest letdown of the year.

Overhyped, undertalented tease.

..
..
..
..

I still would though

Seriously... when did Playboy go softcore? I bet Hugh Hefner's rolling over in his grave and... wait... really? He isn't dead yet? You're kidding?

No complaints here. She slipped a (little) nip in #3, and she was completely naked in #6. It was enough for me this morning.

No nips? What the hell is the point?

Christ that is a nasty woman / child / thing. I would rather see Paris Hilton's diseased body over this thing,...

fucking disgusting. when is someone going to poison her already?

Shit, anything is better than Lauren Conrad.

Wow... Playboy's current track record of non-nude shoots is destabilizing my pop-culture history. WTF, what's with all of the 'tastefully covered up' chicks. Playboy's for nudes, don't fuck around with it by appeasing celebrities.

Just so everybody knows, she was paid

$$ 500, 000 $$

to do this.

first pic doesnt even look like her - thank god.

This is terrible... no nudity in a Playboy!!!

That being said... I would love to bang the shit out of her... horse face or not.

Umm, I think you mis-labeled this...it is clearly a Maxim photoshoot... isn't Playboy for nude photos?

I actually think she looks pretty good from the neck down.
These pics aren't worth buying an issue of Playboy, though.

This will be the final nail in playboys coffin. after being made almost completely irrelevant by the internet playboy could still sell because it could at least offer c/d level celebrities desperate for attention willing to show their goods. but now that they're not even giving that they have nothing to offer at all.

Wayyyy too much plastic in that body for me. If I want to fantisize about that much plastic, I'll stick to Barbie, thank you very much.

You can undress a horse, you just can't make it pretty.

Is it me, or does it look like her face is photo shopped onto a body in some pictures?

Either way...the pictures are awful, her body is too fake, gross and disproportionate. It's not attractive trying to look like a human Barbie. But then again, she has no brain.

WTF has happend to Playboy.
Aren't women in Playboy SUPPOSED to be nude?!

so basically this is just like her other 'photoshoots' that she does.

what is going on in the first picture? they can't be serious with that, right?

46, you are wrong. heidi does a fine job all on her own giving herself a bad name.

so basically this is just like her other 'photoshoots' that she does.

what is going on in the first picture? they can't be serious with that, right?

46, you are wrong. heidi does a fine job all on her own giving herself a bad name.

pure fucking crap

no nudity.

Wow Maxim.

Let us all prepare to bow to a true Playboy goddess. If there’s one thing the showbiz world could use a bit more of, in my opinion, it’s a curve or two and Heidi delivers from every angle!

This radiant beauty will be the most sought after actress not because of her talent but due how she glows like a nova star. PERFECT!

Randal

She was paid half a million to show nothing that is BS. Let this horse faced bitch die in obscurity.

I think that "face" in the first pic is going to haunt me for all eternity. I cringe to think that these were considered the BEST pics from the entire shoot.

38 said it best. lmfao!

1. Her tits are fake

2. She has no ass

3. She's got only one facial expression - Zoolander style.

4. Bitch, please.

She´s really not beautiful

#1 doesn't even look like her. What the HELL is wrong with her eyes in #8??? She has a really nice body, regardless of Photoshop, I'll give her that. But that face...is only a jockey could love. Doink!

Playboy without full nudity is like beer without alcohol - wtf is the point?!

If I were Hef I'd strangle that worthless vapid suckhole with the tie she's wearing.

What a waste of money that was.

Playboy lost it's edge years ago..... Jesus, Maxim has more skin than this.

Even her usual bikini candids/photoshoots reveal more than this. Pathetic job by playboy.

You know its comical that her normal 'photo ops' are 10x more staged than these, taken in a studio. In any photo she is disgusting and man-made. Ewww.

Love it. I know her tits are fake, and I know her ass would be delicious.

If she never spoke people would love her.

Air brush you say? GOOD!!! Thank you for making her look hot so I have something good to perv on.

Welcome to my "spank bank"...well...welcome back.

I'd hit it!! sure she's got a horse face, but thats a pretty good lookin' body. Let's be honest about that people.

Disconjugate gaze. C'mon, there has to be at least one other doctor out there...

Swamp donkey

her nose is completely inconsistent in all the pictures, especially the bridge area. some pictures are sculpted and defined nostrils while the others are relatively normal looking. if you're going to photoshop, at least make it consistent.

Okay...I'll bite....

She looks hot, I got and erection, I masturbated thinking about her.

There, I said it.

@ThisGuy ...agreed. And I'd be ok with your sloppy seconds.

why would i buy a playboy to see a covered up girl when i can get the same pictures from any other magazine?

I would rip that christian butthole wide open.

She's so pretty. I just don't understand what she is doing with that weird, wimpy boyfriend.

Yuck! No redeeming features, she looks nasty and plasticky

Back in the 1800's they would have ridden her to deliver the mail. Not sure what I hate more about her. Looking at her, Listening to her, or the fact that she believes in all that false jesus crap.

WTF If I wanted to see horses I rather go to the Racetrack, for sure I'll se more nudity there too.
Boring!

Yawn!

Hey, did anybody see the resembling post to Lady Gaga and HM in the So Freaking Hot column? :D

And what's up with the hair?

I jack off thinking about Spencer's skin toned beard.

Randall

She has a short neck...

#100, glad I'm not the only one. Wow, I felt like a real freak for a moment.

Also, wtf is up with picture #1? That looks nothing like the other horse-face pictures. She's an embarassment to Christians everywhere.

Holy crap, Batman! That is some over-the-top Photoshopping! It looks like they took that High School Musical girl with the new nose and blended them together with CGI dead-eyes for pic #1. If you are going to do Playboy...just take the damn clothes off and cash your check! This is coming from a woman too!

Boring

I just called Playboy to complain about paying for a 'Playboy' subscription but only getting Maxim or FHM quality content. They said that because it was an 'editorial magazine' they could change their content whenever they wanted. FUCK PLAYBOY. I can get D list celebrities from Penthouse.

Wow...some of those pics have been obviously altered and PS'd because her boobs and butt suddenly grow about three sizes larger while her waist get thinner.

Calling her Christian because she wears a cross is like calling Dennis Miller a football expert because he was on MNF. Really it's just for show.

She looks like Macaulay Culkin

If you want to hate her EVEN more read this article (below or click y name). Her comments will make you want to throw her in that fire and make yourself a heidi-silicone-kabob, if you don't want to already. I don't give a fuck what she looks like she is too stupid to breath.

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20297465,00.html

Based on the things she and Spencer the human douche-bag have made I think it may be possible that these two are Sasha Baron Cohen-ing us. I mean who could be his disgusting?

I don't understand. I mean, if you do playboy and you are going to strip down to nothing and cover your nipples with your hands, why don't you just go ahead and pose naked? Makes no sense. It isn't like Jesus is sitting up there saying, "That's okay, that's okay, that's okay, OKAY, THAT'S TOO FAR!"

It's like messing around. If you're doing oral, anal, etc., you aren't still a virgin because you haven't had vaginal. Some people are so stupid.

EVERYTHING's FAKE about her!

She should evaporate already.

@ 42 & 105, I agree completely! I admit I don't mind looking at her even though I think she's a waste of space (hate Spencer more), but why do playboy if you're not going to show us the goods! At least Debbi Gibson, Tiffany, and Kim Kardashian showed off the T&A. She had less clothes on when she's wearing a bikini at the beach. The last pic should be in a JCPenny catalog NOT Playboy for Christ sakes!

Most of these pics are not even her body... you can tell it is her face photoshopped onto another girls body... number 4 might even be the real girls face...look closely...

I submit that these are all fake. None are her actual body. Her face looks superimposed in every single shot.

I call shenanigans.

What happened? I fell asleep a few times looking at some donkey show and... ohh.

Her face looks like a young McCauley Caulkin in that first pic. Gross.

She bad.

I don't think she's figured out how to breathe through her nose. Maybe the nose job made it purely ornamental?

There was a time when Playboy was a pretty good magazine with really hot women. Then came the Stepford type models with empty stares and plastic titties. Now this. A heavily Photoshopped, non-nude pictorial. Jesus H Christ...

*Yawn*...next!

LOL @ 100.

She looks like Pattycake in the first pic.

weak weak weak. boooooooooo playboy.

weak weak weak. boooooooooo playboy.

I really can't believe that in 119 comments nobody has pointed out that this is a...

FAKE!!!!

This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene int he movie Never Back Down where Max fucked a horse in an RV

She does not even look like herself, I thought #8 was the worst for photoshopping

That doesn't even look like her! The removed half her chin and made her implants less gross.

Jesus would be upset.

@124

Stop trying to be like Daisy, idiot.

HAHA OMG THE LAST ONE! I JUST SAW IT!

I don't understand why she is famous and I don't even know who she is. Who would want to see this? She's not even attractive.

I don't understand why she is famous and I don't even know who she is. Who would want to see this? She's not even attractive.

Sorry I meant 2nd to last.

Aside from the shitty job on the photoshopping, she does have a good body but WTF HAPPENED TO HER FACE????

I came to this site from here: www.hilkoo.com

those guys are really funny too!

She doesn't look real! How can you be in playboy and not be nude? She's got to be the biggest hypocrite ever. Disgusting! Shame on playboy for running her photoshopped face!

Did Hugh get soft????? WTF?????

a butterface, if i ever saw one.

Tits or GTFO, Heidi.

What the fuck is this? No nip, no vag, not even a decent ass shot. This isn't Playboy, it's Maxim for retards.

Her body is amazing but then you glance at her face and whoa...it has a horse head! Bizarre!

Pic #6 I will admit is hot, but I can't get the vision out of my head that when fagboy Spencer sees it, he runs from the room screaming, "Ooh ickey-poo!!!"

LAME.

WTF Playboy. I guess if you squint really hard you can see a nipple. Didn't Playboy used to guarantee at least ass and tits.

Hugh put his wife in Playboy after they were married and she was totally naked. SOmeone should get fired for this.

So, this is what Playboy has fallen to, eh? What's next, pics of saggy ol' Pamela Anderson and her warped boobs?

This is just sad...

Why the fuck would anyone buy this? You see more in maxim. Hey honey, let's see the pussy!

Seriously, is this even her? Her face looks like a doll's face. In most of the pics, it doesn't even look like her, or anyone human for that matter.

Playboy can work miracles with airbrushing.

I'd fuck her up the ass, make her suck it and then shoot on her horse face. In other words, "make love to her."

Dumb girl is still dumb....and also ugly.

We have seen this routine before. Here is what is going to happen.
In a few years NOONE will be paying any attention to her and she will come crawling back to Playboy offering a full frontal layout.
She will toss the bible out the window just for a little more attention.

I've collected Playboy for 30 years and am very disappointed ... two attention whores is all they are ... "oooohh, I LOVE ___; he's making us famous. I though the interview was a complete fucking joke. In fact I'm not even sure if it's supposed to be serious ... now she wants bigger boobs and ass implants so she can pose again. Yuck, blechhh, wretch - plastic air-headed twits.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

I thought the first picture was Christina Aguilera, then I read it was supposed to be Heidi Montag in Playboy and laughed.

First - what's the point of having her in it if they're just going to Photoshop her face needlessly to the point of no return.

Second: what's the point of doing Playboy if you're not going to show anything? All these photos could easily be in Maxim or FHM.

I'd love to smack her ass around the room and then fuck it until it bleeds and she had severe carpet rash on her elbows and knees! And then do it all over again until she begged me to stop.

There is a silver lining. Spencer isn't in ANY of these photos. Of course he'd be cringing and hiding his eyes in case a finger slipped.

1) People still buy Playboy or subscribe to their website?
2) Maxim and FHM are basically the same magazine.
3) Check out a British magazine called "Loaded" if
you want to see tits.

Or better still, Google "porn".

B O R I N G . . . . .

@ 111. Prof - August 14, 2009 5:00 PM

@ 42 & 105, I agree completely! I admit I don't mind looking at her even though I think she's a waste of space (hate Spencer more), but why do playboy if you're not going to show us the goods! At least Debbi Gibson, Tiffany, and Kim Kardashian showed off the T&A. She had less clothes on when she's wearing a bikini at the beach. The last pic should be in a JCPenny catalog NOT Playboy for Christ sakes!

Dn: I agree. That pretty much sums it up.

YOU'RE GOING TO HELL, HEIDI!!!!!!!

These pictures are so photoshopped that the person is unrecognizable.
And they definitely reduced Heidi's huge chin in every photo! HA HA HA

she has ONE face the whole shoot. what would tyra say about her?!

God's child eating the apple... ahh the end is near. Spencer you snake.. may you burn in hell.

I almost died of boredom. not even a bit of nipple. I was even thinking of buying this month's issue too.
guess I'll have to get maxim or something instead.

She would be hot if she had:
+ A personality
+ A brain
+ Natural boobs
+ A conscience
+ A nice face
+ Good hair
- Never met Spencer

Pity she's just a dog with nice underwear. :(

check out those plastic bags.

Check out those plastic bags

WTF did they do to her face? She actually looks more fug! And those faces she makes...she has the sexuality of a cow taking a sh*t, and her pictures are just about as exciting as a house fire.

This bitch is hideous. Shes not even pretty at all and her tits are fake!!! What at waste of time taking this pics of her.

This bitch is hideous. Shes not even pretty at all and her tits are fake!!! What at waste of time taking this pics of her.

My head's gonna throb till it pops if I have to read one more thing about Heidi Montag.

1. what the FUCK is up with her face in picture 6?
2. in every picture, HER FACE LOOKS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
3. thank you to post #63 for reminding us how everyone has their price. this girl is fucking stupid and soulless. being a photoshopped mediawhore for the LOW price of $500,000 was worth more than her self-respect and dignity. sad, sad.
4. FUCK SPENCER PRATT. he is the most manipulative, disgraceful, disrespectful, money and attention hungry PRICK that has ever been and will ever be.

her fake tits are bigger than her ass
and picture 9 her body just looks foul and concave

Wow, that first picture doesn't even LOOK like her. Photoshopped or not, I'm not impressed with these photos. Ugly girls who pose for Playboy aren't worth the pages they're on if they don't show anything, and she is definitely DEFINITELY not up to the Playboy's usual standards. She's not even a big enough talent for them to say "Okay, okay, no tits, got it." I'm surprised she didn't have to beg for this job.

i seriously almost destroyed my keyboard, because i spit my drink out when i saw her face in that first picture. what the fuck happened with that face? it's floating. her head is FLOATING.

In picture six she looks like a retard struggling with her arm, not knowing what to do with her hand so she sticks it in her mouth. like someone just walked in on her like " what the fuck! why isnt someone watching her?" then took a picture.

Hair dye on a horseface. The better looking people know better.

The fuck? Her face is barely recognizable? Fucking photoshop.

Her face looks squishy.

When are Sarah and Bristol Palin scheduled for Playboy? Palin/Speidi 2012!

@ 63 - She should give it to Gary Coleman. That seems Christian.

@ 68 - "INSIDE! : Non-Celebrities Showing NOTHING!" Myspace is hotter than this.

@ 169 - You mean up to their OLD standards? They're dredging trailer parks now aren't they?

In pic #4 you can see an outline of her silicone on her boob.

She has the same facial expression on all of the pictures because that is all that her 3 braincells can amount to.

Stop hating, she is cashing in on her airheaded slutiness, and people buy into it all day. If you despise her so much stop giving her so much attention.

nfl jerseys

Well she does have a very fine buttocks region. I would gladly pack her poopchute. I want to ride that butt like a bucking bull, yeeeehaw Heidi, Giddy-Up you shameless skank. I would finish off splooging in her mouth so she could clean off my schlong. Heidi you taunting minx, you love anal, don't you? Call me Heidi.

Please kill her! I'm totally joking but seriously she has no talent! Her tits are fake. She's fake and her open mouth in every FN photo is starting to annoy me. Is she alwasy surprised at what's going on?? Tard ass bitch!!

Please kill her! I'm totally joking but seriously she has no talent! Her tits are fake. She's fake and her open mouth in every FN photo is starting to annoy me. Is she always surprised at what's going on?? Tard ass bitch!!

Is this what Married women who say they are strict christians look like these days ? lol

This looks quite allright to me.I see she has lost some weight too.

God doesn't let protitutes into heaven, sinner burn in hell.

Her curves are quite guitara.

Who was first with the ass up pose? Lady Gaga or she?

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
her face has been photoshopped so much she looks like a 12 year old christina aquilera. i guess she thinks its Christian -- if they redraw her face maybe Jesus won't know who to put in hell later. bwahahahhaha doesnt she wish she looked like that! dont we all!

I've jerked off to hotter pics in the Sears catalog.

This is why Playboy is dying.

Playboy has really gone to shit. No wonder they are going broke. Who ever heard of a nude magazine without nudity. I'm glad I didn't go out and spend money on this crap.

The largest thing photoshopped out of a picture in human history: Heidi Montag's gargantuan chin. That's not her lower lip either.

From her fake titties to her fake life , fake show, fake plastic surgery on her face. Nothing is real on or about this air brushed bitch.

Are you sure this is from Playboy? Are you sure this isn't just another random post on Superfish about her being in a bikini? She kind of looks like a horse with Down Syndrome. Kind of mean to horses, though. If I were a guy, I'd switch to horse fucking before this thing. ESPECIALLY if they had Down Syndrome. Aww, yeah.

Look for the deeper meaning. On the actual cover, it looks like she is covered in feces which means she will do absolutely anything for money and although we all know that, now we have a photographic tribute to a whore pretending not to be a whore but she is only fooling herself or really doesn't give a shit - therefore, the shit on her must have come from someone else.

Says a lot of about King Douche Spencer - honestly, what kind of person marries someone and then is more than happy to have them pose so thousands of other guys can jerk off at pics of her. They must really be in love.

The fake boobs aren't too bad, but that face has gotta go...

stumpy legs are stumpy

Huge fail

is Montag also German for "bad air brush job"?

193 fonzeyfu -

Glad someone finally said it and actually thought about that.

wheres the fucking pooch for christs sake, did we loose a war.

please tell me what the fucking point is of having a playboy magazine with no nipples and no badly packed kebab. its fucking pointless, hugh you fucking twit, hurry and go broke cause you have lost the fucking plot.

face plant needs to be done. That first pic if FUGLY...and I am assuming thats the best they could do after running it under photo-shop

WTF is wrong with you people... yes I hate her and Spencer but I would hit all day long, be honest if she was in a bar and chatted you up you'd smack it till the sun came up :)) uptight yanks..

These pics are more touched up than Kelly Clarksons were in Self. What a joke. Playboy = Maxim.

I DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE HER NASTY FACE WITH ALL THAT AIRBRUSHING.

It's a shame this dumb bitch isn't getting that real nigger dick.

Who?

She provides sweet sex and sweeter comfort.......!

I have been a playboy fan for over 20 years ( sneaking a peek at my dads collection). I can't believe that Hef paid this chick for these photo's absolutely nudity. Marilyn, Pam, Carmen, Gabriell, Farrah, all did nudity, this chick is not even in their league and Hef let her get away with this. Playboy in a recession your stock is seriously falling.

that is NOT her real face... they had to make a new face for her with computerc for our sake. not to go blind by looking at her ugly face

@Bob Dear Bob Sir, here in the united states of jerk and splooge we reserve the right to view big titted hoes in playboy magazine. When big titted hoes do not take off their clothes and get in playboy magazine we get hostile. If Hugh Hefner does not place a better looking big tit hoe in playboy soon we will burn down the playboy mansion and set fire to his twins. This how we run our country, thanks.

Omgggggggg take a look at those legs on the last picturreee.... Has she got eating disorders?!?! WTF???

Omgggggggg take a look at those legs on the last picturreee.... Has she got eating disorders?!?! WTF???

"Heidi Montag does playboy" - she can do me anytime she likes ;p

LOL at 5 and 7. I make more attractive faces when I take a shit.

I wonder why Playboy is circling the toilet anymore. Probably something to do with how they don't have any more nudity than Maxim nowadays.

First that videogame girl, now this idiot - Playboy means nothing now apparently. I hear rumors that you used to be able to see naked people in it.

I must be old. when I was young Playboy meant beautiful girls and nudity. This girl is ugly and nothing? hmmm, Shame, what happened to Playboy? I think I'm old.

BUTTERFACE

BUTTERFACE

BUTTERFACE

PIC # 2 IS ACTUALLY THE ONLY HOT PIC !!!!!!

Playboy has hit rock bottom. I'm dropping my subscription.

Playboy has hit rock bottom. I'm dropping my subscription.

If you are going to do Playboy, then you need to deal with the fact that you are going to be NAKED!!! She is a Cock -Tease. As a straight woman I feel ripped of that we did not get to see the boobs that were bought! If i had that body i would ALWAYS be naked. I would only were a sarong to go to the market or pump gas. She got implants! show them off!, Damn. They are such Morons!

FUCKIN CRACKWHOREEE!!! GROOSEEE!

Fake body, ugly face, massive head

Do not want

These are suchh ugly photos, obviously she isnt pretty enough soo they had to photoshop the sh*t out of all her pictures, especailly the firstt..there all just eww and totally fake!!!

I love how everyone here is saying how ugly she is, and how fake she is and how photoshop'd this is... nigga please. like you guys wouldn't fuck that if you had the chance? yea i thought so
and if ur not a guy, then ur pretty much a girl hating... and i do agree that if she kept her mouth shut, everyone would be sweating her

i wouldnt want a women from #1 to #224 to be picking a women for me

i wouldnt want a women from #1 to #224 to be picking a women for me

i wouldnt want a women from #1 to #224 to be picking a women for me

i wouldnt want a women from #1 to #224 to be picking a women for me

i wouldnt want a women from #1 to #224 to be picking a women for me

right underneath this picture it says " BACK TO ENTRY." hahahahaha.

right underneath this picture it says " BACK TO ENTRY." hahahahaha.

is this a maxim shoot or a playboy shoot? when will these two just go away?

Yeah Heidi is much more beautiful than her counterpart Bar what'shername!
She is 10 times more lovely! Blonde haired blue eyed beauty like Oden intended women to look like!

congratulations, heidi...you made it. now you're a real woman.

Kids take it from the folks sitting at the adult table, that bitch is ugly.

Nothing would make me happier than to watch this person and husband burn alive in fire until nothing is left but powder.

she's wearing her wedding ring. classy.

Well, I guess if she had multiple reconstructive surgeries this is what she would look like because in most of the pics it looks nothing like her.

I think its funny people say she looks like a horse cuz she really does but horses are classier

#235 ... are you cracked ? Bar Raefeli is all-natural and beautiful, even without make-up. This is the phoney thing that Spencer said of ... "her nose is too big and her titties are too small." And she married the idiot. Next ...

id put it right in her ass, and let her go on and on about that

Oh, you can airbrush the boobs to make them smoother, and you can Photoshop the face to make it prettier, but you just can't fix the hypocritical retard outta that one, can ya?

I hope Heidi's leprechaun hubby knows that millions of men are now whacking off to his wifey. haha

Hmm...

....well, this silly twit may have all the ingredients that make most men and a some lesbians pant. But to this guy her obvious shallowness, narcissism, self-centeredness make what ever potential for attractiveness and sexiness take flight like the X-15 spy jet at high altitude.

Put her alongside her equally as shallow, narcissistic, self-centered idiot boyfriend, husband or whatever he is, and they bring new meaning to words ugly and loathsome. Both their personalities suck like few things have ever sucked, except maybe George Dubya Bush, Dick Cheney and Ryan O'Neal.

No matter how much cosmetic surgery this stupid broad gets she will never be attractive. She's a definite garbage dump mongrel in every sense of the word.

Why these two morons get ANY kind of publicity is a genuine mystery to me.

.

Hmm...

....well, this silly twit may have all the ingredients that make most men and a some lesbians pant. But to this guy her obvious shallowness, narcissism, self-centeredness make what ever potential for attractiveness and sexiness take flight like the X-15 spy jet at high altitude.

Put her alongside her equally as shallow, narcissistic, self-centered idiot boyfriend, husband or whatever he is, and they bring new meaning to words ugly and loathsome. Both their personalities suck like few things have ever sucked, except maybe George Dubya Bush, Dick Cheney and Ryan O'Neal.

No matter how much cosmetic surgery this stupid broad gets she will never be attractive. She's a definite garbage dump mongrel in every sense of the word.

Why these two morons get ANY kind of publicity is a genuine mystery to me.

.

Uaaggghhmmmm....... After 500 posts of her on here? It doesn't even look like her.

first of all, i have heard of this Heidi girl but never knew how much she is hated globally LOL
How can she say that her pics in Playboy is Jesus-friendly?
And last but not least, whats with her mouth that is constantly open in that manner?

last picture she actually looks like the blonde lead in gossip girl

call me 9084610956

call me 9084610956

call me 9084610956

@247: The X-15 was not a spy plane. It was designated as an "X" plane since it was an experimental aircraft. It was indeed a high altitude aircraft, and also the fastest manned aircraft. But, that's off topic. I'd still ride this little horse faced hoe; pumping my schlong deep inside her poopchute. Face Down (buried in a pillow preferrably) Ass Up, is the best position to view Ms. Montag. Heidi, call me for the scrogging of your life. I'll bring the anal lube.

This is exactly why real life, normal, good-looking girls develop eating disorders and all that fuck. I bet my ass this bitch does not look half as good as in these pictures when she is not photoshopped! Ugly plastic whore.

I am confused by the second to last photograph.

At last, the long awaited launch of the "Jerking Off For Jesus" campaign.

Picture 9 makes me want to shove 250 cheese burgers down her throat.

In all fairness, she does look a lot nicer in this shoot than she would in general.

Air Zenyth

I would Fuck her in Half. And any guy here would do the same if given the chance. Don't fool yourselves.

lmaoo@11, 4, 1, and 3 (but not xhristina, Ashley Tisdale - took me forever to figure out who that even was, reading Perez is the only reason I recognised the face, and know who these nothings are)
I realise that wasn't in order. Anywho.......... she literally looks like some kind of robot. Don't you think she'd be upset when she sees the photos of 'her' and can't see any of 'her'self in them to be proud of ? hahhaa

Has anyone read the interview? MY GOD.. It's JUST not even funny. I am now 1000% CERTAIN that these people are literally jokes, trying to make religion/Christians look stupid/bad by pretending to be holy, but being hypocritical slutty douchebags at the same time. Unabashedly
That is the only explanation for why such stupidity and laugh-or-we-will-cry hilarity exists in the form of human beings.

lmaoo@11, 4, 1, and 3 (but not xhristina, Ashley Tisdale - took me forever to figure out who that even was, reading Perez is the only reason I recognised the face, and know who these nothings are)
I realise that wasn't in order. Anywho.......... she literally looks like some kind of robot. Don't you think she'd be upset when she sees the photos of 'her' and can't see any of 'her'self in them to be proud of ? hahhaa

Has anyone read the interview? MY GOD.. It's JUST not even funny. I am now 1000% CERTAIN that these people are literally jokes, trying to make religion/Christians look stupid/bad by pretending to be holy, but being hypocritical slutty douchebags at the same time. Unabashedly
That is the only explanation for why such stupidity and laugh-or-we-will-cry hilarity exists in the form of human beings.

#4
LOL! I just spit coffee all over my screen

/*you owe me a new keyboard and screen in the mail please. k. thanx

i will be so glad when this weekend is over and new pics are loaded. i am so sick of seeing her horse face!

ummmmm, these aren't playboys pics; would be better suited to men's health or FHM.

Looks like she's giving herself a palpitation for breast tumors.

Why the hell is this in playboy????
It looks more of an maxim shoot :S
And...why did they photoshop that much?? is she that ugly on pictures??

She must have the worst botched-tit-job nipples ever.

i blame the internet for the downfall of nude playboy. it used to be that if you were the attractive next door girl type you had a chance.Now anyone that is halfway decent looking has their own website pretty much making playboy irrelevant. also most of the hot famous chicks have their nude photos "leaked " to the internet. so actually i can see where to be not totally nude in playboy is actually a statement against all the available nude shots. Tho that doesn't excuse them from photo shopping unattractive girls to make them look pretty. hef used to have more taste than that i guess hes not really running things .QUICK Heff has a diaper needing changing.

Okay, this settles it... I hate to say it, but Hef, your slippin'!!! First a spread by Olivia Munn from G$ (No Tits or Ass) and now the same with This shit. I don't even like this bitch and your jipping me... Hef, Why?

LOL...like any of you nerds would pass up a chance to tap that ass. Your liberalism is showing! Any of you would cut off your left nut to have a chance to bang this chick.

gawd what a waste of time,money,space,sperm,and egg.wtf is wrong with her face?she rolls her eyes in the back of her head like she's having a seizure,or has been possessed like something from the exorcist.then there's her mouth hanging wide open like she's ready to suck some dick.she's an ugly horse with very low self esteem,and a very bad boob job.i take better pics then this shit,and i used a camera you need to fill with film.

Que dang.

Were I shown these pictures without knowing who it was, I would not have been able to guess it is the Montag person. Seriously, the amount of photoshopping is insane.

In all the pictures, she has the same face. Playboy is known for finding gorgeous women....she is not one of them. waste of time, waste of space!!!!

I've never seen a picture of this girl, candid or professional, with her mouth closed.
WARNING: BLACK HOLE AHEAD

nice take me up the ass shot in number six................

She's just such a femme-douche but at least she had a hot body.

Now this - a non-nude Playboy spread.

She sucks donkey ass!

I want to nibble on Spencer's chewy ballsac while Heidi rams her thumb up my butt.

I hate her, but I'd be happy (very!) to see her like she is in pic5 when I got home. Airbrushing notwithstanding I am sure she looks fiiine. Hate her though.

you can download the entire issue of Playboy for FREE at www.playbimbo.com

She's NOT an attractive woman. That face is hideous.

Playboy is getting desperate.

Did I just walk into a Victoria's Secret catalogue?

Please tell me that no one looks that yellow in real life.

Even Hef can't make that face a 10 no matter how much lighting, makeup, & photoshopping he's had done. LOL.

This is a Maxim photoshoot.

I'm wondering how Playboy can get its money back on worthless fiascos like this. Superficial has better pics of Heidi than these.

Heidi seems like a good sorority skank type.

Palin/Speidi 2012!

Playboy has jumped the shark because much like a broken pencil, these pictures have no point.

I'm so fucking confused! Her body is hot, but her face is hideous! She looks like a fucking Horse with blonde hair.

PARTY TITS!!!

Awwwww what a good christian girl, selling her body for money. I guess her 15 minutes of fame were nearing an end so she had to buy 5 more. This is the very reason why I can't stand bible-thumping psychotic "christians". Hypocrites. This is the same idiot who CRIED over someone taking labels off her dry shampoo. And I agree. She's fugly. So is her bucktoothed sister. And her husband. Let's all pray they never reproduce. Oh wait, god's busy looking up her hoo-ha and wondering WTF he did wrong.

i believe #4 said it best.......what a beautiful horse lol

I hate to say it, but she does it for me. Ever since that hot-tub photo showing her ass in a blue bikini about a year ago. I'd love to get my hands on her...

Question -

is she wearing the drapes?

b/c I'm sure playboy has some other sexy clothes she could wear

Not Pretty at all. Can you really enjoy looking at her body with that face? Guys?

In the first photo, with that pose, it doesn't even look like the head and the body are from the same person. Since when do photographers TRY to make their shots look photoshopped?
She is nothing but a product- completely Barbie-like and boring. Except for that Leno chin, which, quite honestly, doesn't even look good on him, much less her.
Oh, and don't get me started on her mind...because that isn't good on her either....

Heidi needs to dump her security blanket aka spencer...quick. she has a lot more going on than he does. he's only holding her back.

Boooorrrring

she is hot!

photoshop it or not, but someone needs a picture with their mouth closed........she's disgusting

she has the same idiot expression in every picture, now that is versatility. what a stupid, horse-faced cunt. go away.

Woow.. "For me personally, I feel like God created the body, and the body is beautiful"

she looks hott!! dont hate people...it makes u look dumb!!

She only has 1 look in her pictures, she is the female Derek Zoolander!!!

Is this the end of Playboy?

WTF is wrong with picture #4? That whole thing is just wrong.

what the fuck i thought this was playboy not maxim mag ....

Heidi Montag i love uuuuuu paris??????you love me?

Was this playboy or Maxim?

Hasn't her 15 minutes ended already????

Um...Im no expert BUT aint she supposed to at least show A boob...Possibly Two Playboy is slackin I actuslly wanted to see her nacked an silent But now EWW its not good at all.

Um...Im no expert BUT aint she supposed to at least show A boob...Possibly Two Playboy is slackin I actuslly wanted to see her nacked an silent But now EWW its not good at all.

Why the hell did she do Playboy if she didn't plan on fully exposing her breasts? Um, hello, that's kind of what Playboy is about. She probably has a botched tit job, and her nipples are all fucked up. On top of that, has anyone noticed that she's got a flat ass? Even strategic posing doesn't hide that fact very well. Not to mention her horsey face. Hef is clearly on the brink of senility.

dang is dat gurl hot or what. too bad she`s so damn stupid.

She needs to close her mouth! every shot has her big obnoxiously non-talented mouth open! She is a joke and her man is even more so! I used to like Heidi till she thought it was smart to go back to the dumb ass Spencer! They love that everyone talks about them because they get the attention... but don't they realize that it is never anything good that anyone is saying??? She is beautiful but dumb and he is so ugly that it makes you sick to look at him! I think that everything lauren m up there said is true...her boobs are probably all jacked up! People would probably rather see Kate Gosslin(Jon & Kate) in Playboy with her seriously screwed up belly button than this horrible Speidi Spread!

Pic are so-so, curious why she choose Playboy as these could have been in Maxim. Wonder if the photogs allowed her fur-faced husband to hang around while these were taken...I'm sure he insisted. Anyone else get a Dorothy Stratten feel from these two, him in particular?

Why in earth couldn't she just keep her mouth
shut, even in one picture!? Those facial expressions
aren't like what real models do either... Same thing
with Audrinas photos, those girls aren't real models,
it's not enough that you can took your clothes off
TRY to pose sexy etc. If you want great pictures,
you need to do and be something more...

i want to see bush, wheres my bush

please get rid of this want to be social lite.....we are so sick of her and her candy husband.....spencer please come down to middle tennessee with that cowboy hat on so a real cowboy can put you in your place, and bring your stuck up wife with her fake and bought body to deal with real women and what they really think of her...which is fake blonde, fake body whitch...........

Why is she covering her goodies? Playboy aint what it used to be.
Carmen Electra's issue is the only 2009 issue that's worth jerking your chicken too.. and even that one's photshoped to hell. Heidi should be ashamed of this garbage.. you have a smokin body but we want to see it all!

how does anyone consider this playboy? where are the nude pics?

I understand people are pissed that there is no nudity because its Playboy, but she's a celebrity. So let's all be honest here and admit that if she was nude, instead of criticizing her body and how she looks like a horse, you assholes would be criticizing how she's a 'whore' or 'slut' for posing nude for a magazine. All you people need to grow up and get over the fact that you are probably not near as pretty as Heidi and never will be. The truth is, you are the people that go around saying stuff about other people to make yourselfs (probably fat and ugly) feel better. Think about if you were in the spotlight, how would you feel reading all these comments about yourself? Grow and get real lives, its seriously sickening reading these comments. The girl is gorgeous, except it, and move on.

oh and PS. I own horses, she doesn't look remotely like one.

I understand people are pissed that there is no nudity because its Playboy, but she's a celebrity. So let's all be honest here and admit that if she was nude, instead of criticizing her body and how she looks like a horse, you assholes would be criticizing how she's a 'whore' or 'slut' for posing nude for a magazine. All you people need to grow up and get over the fact that you are probably not near as pretty as Heidi and never will be. The truth is, you are the people that go around saying stuff about other people to make yourselves (probably fat and ugly) feel better. Think about if you were in the spotlight, how would you feel reading all these comments about yourself? Grow and get real lives, its seriously sickening reading these comments. The girl is gorgeous, except it, and move on.

oh and PS. I own horses, she doesn't look remotely like one.

wow did spender take these pictures? they are soooooo(NOT) professional looking and although she looks pretty they are pretty boring. Why did playboy bother?

shut the fuck up al you fuckin idiots sayin oh shes ugly blah blah blah go get fuckd your al prob fat fucken losers who sit at there computers all day lookin for pic of hotties to say no there ugly because in all actual fact u no they would neva touch you let alone talk to a fuckin hillbilly fuck like you

Come on , she realy aint that bad at all , most of u wish u ever could hook a girl like that!
sry jealous small d!g bastards