Aug 24 2009Heidi Montag in a bikini

Her ass looks dirty and cellulite-ridden there.

First bitches!!!!

she sucks so much, I only see plastic ugly when looking at that body.

I would say this is awesome but, its not.

Same old shit ... boring !!!

PLEASE put up a video of her terrible dancing on Miss Universe last night. It was horrific and terribly funny

seriously. please stop posting about these two worthless douches. you're keeping them alive when they are so close to be being dead. just stop already!!

Do she not realise that these posed bikini-up-her-crack-shots are highlighting the pimples on her ASS??? No, I guess that would involve THINKING.

She really needs to put a bag over her face. And those are the worst implants I have ever seen. It looks like they are as hard as basketballs and def. are. Who the hell finds her gross body or that alien looking Jay Leno face attractive?

Just look at those cellulite ripples. It's over already for her.

STOP POSTING ABOUT THESE IDIOTS

Don't they ever get sick of seeing each other. Spencer is such a DOUCHE!! I really wish people would stop even talking about or taking their pictures.

2 more months before they declare bankruptcy.

I'd love to be able to make a deal to bring back the child molesting Michael Jackson if God would just kill off these two. Fucking posers, they make me nauseous.

Heidi Montag also sings on the Miss Universe Pageant? That alone has to define what a beauty pageant is. Nothing more than a frivolous waste of time, space and money. Heidi Montag signing on anything has to lower the notch of what the show might be attempting to depict. Heidi Montag not even singing but lip syncing to her sultry ad for her next playboy spread. Stripping nude for playboy yet not really showing nudity.

http://journalstone.com/2009/08/24/heidi-montag-and-her-playboy-pictures/

PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEEEASE stop posting about these 2. they're the worst.

PLEASE

I'LL SUCK YO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKK

Heidi girl, seriously the posing like a slutty slut slut is a lie. when i was 16 i used to take pics like that for my myspace. so now grow up and either show the goods for the guys out there or cover your shit up.

Canned photoshoot? That shit looks natural spontaneous. I'd pay good money to see Spensor partake in a UFC match.

She looks kind of Tori Spellingish in some of these. Her face is sooooo long.

Note to Heidi and Spencer--- "Your 15 minutes of fame is up already." (please God)

I
WANT
TO
FUCK
THAT
ASS

The video of Heidi dancing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj4SJ8YlfTg

That amount of cellulite on a 21 year old is NOT tight. Or right.

Better quality video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvkbjzYT5aE

A sad day in America.

I hope you're at least getting paid to post this horrible, unsexy shit.

I would love to kick the living shit out of Spencer. I hate his face so much!

That would be a wicked reality show: 'Kick the shit out of Spencer Pratt'

I'm sure it would be hard to find contestants.

i hate these two douche bags, heidi looks like mac the knife...

BUT

i have to admit she kinda has a nice ass :(

I would love to kick the living shit out of Spencer. I hate his face so much!

That would be a wicked reality show: 'Kick the shit out of Spencer Pratt'

I'm sure it would be hard to find contestants. <oops

Edit:

I'M SURE IT WOULDN'T BE HARD TO FIND CONTESTANTS

I guess kudos to her for not airbrushing the shit out of these pics???

It looks like she has gained some weight!

Look at her big fat cellulite butt.

Where is that hungry bull shark when you need it?

She's got a rockin' bod.

A seriously rocking bod.

A body that overcomes all personality flaws.

I'd bang her all day long, then shove her in a suitcase. I'd make sure to cut the serial numbers out of her implants, of course. I'm a quick learner.

adorable suit. BUT WHO THE FUCK BEHAVES THIS WAY, EVER? I HATE THEM SO MUCH.

I hate these two with a vicious, blinding passion, but I would eat that ass for about three hours straight. Can't help it.

I mean Heidi's ass, by the way. Spencer just needs to be disemboweled.

PLEASE STOP POSTING ABOUT THESE TWO!!!! They need to go away!

Heidi can't dance, or sing (or lip synch for that matter).

Heidi is going to be very embarrassed that she used to pose like this in a few years.

She is the epitome of perfection in Hollywood. her beauty will blah blah blah. her amazing body is blah blah blah. she shits out rainbows blah blah blah. her booger taste of the sweetest nectars blah blah blah. I write these obnoxiously uplifting rants just to go against the grain and get attention that my mommy never gave me, but my uncle Festus gave me too much of bla blah blah I want Spencer to rub his flesh toned beard on my hole blah blah blah

Randall

Who cares if she can't sing or dance? That's an ass deserves sex tape attention.

Heidi Montag may be a brainless waste of space, but you gotta admit that her ass is amazing. And if you don't agree with me, you sir, are nothing but a homo.

Randal, that was elequent. Too bad you misspelt your own name.

Oh! The places you'll go... when you've been "made" with plastic surgery and a personality that lacks any real human appeal.

Pictures of Heidi and Spencer are used as motivational material by al Qaeda to incite murderous rage in potential suicide bombers. Non-muslim USA citizens are rumoured to be signing up just on the off-chance chance they'll get to have a crack at them personally.

So sick of these 2! The bikini poses are reallllllly played out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop posting and maybe they will fade into obscurity?! Heres hoping.

Be honest, how many of you are hoping for a Star 80 scenario with these two?

The only time Miss Cellulite Ass doesn't have her ginormous yap open is the ONE pic where she's slobbering on the flesh-bearded douchebag. GAG

i just can't understand why she's trying to be sexy amidst some of the most beautiful women in the world. she wouldn't have been queen bee at my high school, let alone at the miss universe pageant. give it up.

Looks like she's getting a bit chunky...

Hey, Spencer, ignore these bums. Pose her as much as you want and any which way you want. She looks delicious. Especially from the rear and in profile -- maul that ass once for me. Once a day, I mean.

Looks like she had collogen (or cottage cheese) shots in her thighs.....

Looks like she had collogen (or cottage cheese) shots in her thighs.....

Nice body, but the bitch can NOT dance.

Ha, pic 3 looked really good in her head while she was posing for it. Poor thing. Did any of you see Miss Iceland though? Holy Christ, that was pretty much the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life...

I love how she hired chunky dancers to make herself look thinner. Dumb bitch.

I see NO cellulite...stop hating. She's full of plastic...but she does have a nice ass.

Notice its all girls hating...guys know that's a nice ass...well straight guys.

That first picture there would make an awesome poster. She has an awesome caboose no matter what anyone says and one of the flattest tummies posted here or anywhere. Index 0,8,9,10 are really nice. Otherwise, I have to wonder why these people are famous. And whatever happened to the Superficial promise not to post any more about these people, say, 12 postings of these people, ago? ;)

U haterz r zo funny. Heidi iz zo beautiful an famouz and you are all zo jealouz of her. zo keep hating while Heidi enjoyz her millionz and that hot ztud zpencer.

I would love to see Spencer in a nice speedo for a change - sure we get to see Heidi's nibbly parts but what about a nice outline of Spencer's semi hard cock, clear enough so that we can see his religion? Would lick his nips and hole ANYTIME!

Everytime i see those two, im always reminded of that Simpsons halloween special where all the giant mascots come to life and start wrecking the city. And then Lisa starts singing that song "Just don't look" to get people to turn away and ignore the chaos.

Ugly face - FANTASTIC BODY!!

That ass is starting to sag!!

But still, shes got a fine body, but they're both irritating as hell. They both need to be kidnapped and dropped off in the middle of Detroit

She has nothing but a pretty, although mostly bought, body and some hype because of her repugnant husband. Her "singing" is nothing more than the same kind of one-hit-wonder fabricated junk people like Staci Q or some of those “singers” in the 80's had and the techno garbage you hear today. Manufactured and altered in a studio. She CAN NOT dance. Her sense of rhythm is nothing short of embarrassing. And please don't compare her to Britney Spears. Britney may be a has-been at this point, but when she was on top, she was at least a halfway solid entertainer with her dancing. If this performance doesn’t pave the way for her fading into oblivion with her sycophant husband, I'm fully convinced: God is dead and the world is being taken over by soul-less imbeciles.

Am with you there, Keanu - would love to suck on that thick hard Spencer Sausage before ramming my fat dick in his tight Christian butt hole until I've got him screaming like a girl.

@9--Shelly--HAHAHAHA! nice one, Jay Leno face indeed.

Dudes, her ass isn't even THAT great anymore, and those awful pants with excess crotch fabric in her video were a terrible idea.

During judgment day I wonder if she would let Jesus tap that ass...Like the devoted Christian that she is.

The next time these two show on the fish will be my last visit to this site. Join me, one and all.

Why is kirstie alley in a bikini?

He needs to hit the gym

I actually like the shot where it looks like Heidi is sodomizing Spencer. You know he likes to take it from her.

She only keeps spencer around in case she isn't feeling too fresh - you know, in case she needs a douchebag!

I'm amazed that this woman has zero sex appeal and continues to be featured on your site. Stop already.

She looks good to me

Two words Heidi:
SPRAY
TAN.

Two words Heidi:
SPRAY
TAN.

What the hell was that? Her "live" performance? She was so off with her lip-singing that it was laughable. At least when Britney did it she danced well... this was a train wreck from start to finish. Those pictures of them on the beach are terrible. Heidi needs to get the cellulite from her butt sucked out when she goes back under the knife for her bigger boobs.

heidi should wear that ass as her head.... cuz her ass is better looking than her face.

:(

I'd bend her over and give her the high hard one, right up her poopchute. She looks like she really likes anal, as she keeps poking it out for all to see. However, you can see the early signs of widening ass, and some cottage cheese thighs forming. Heidi, either get in the gym and do some ass excercises or you'll not have your money $$$ maker to stick in front of the lens too much longer. Heidi, give me a call before you get too much junk in the trunk, I'll let you ride my schlong. The whip you up a delightful protein shake that you can guzzle down.

Wow, the bitch really can't move.

First I have to put a call into Playboy because they are stiffing their subscribers

with non-playboy material (read; no nakedness: i.e. Olivia Munn now Flicka Face)

and now this attention whore and her special needs boyfriend are getting pub on 'The Superficial'????

Save us all and make this the last attention getting post they get.....anyone else agree?

C'mon Superficial, our standards are low..............but not this low, Christ.

Body Language has an amazing intro but does anyone know where I can find the remix that she sang live last night? Great voice and moves too.

I did not watch the whore of the Universe pageant. Only prisons and people from the third world that don't speak English would watch such trash.

can everyone please stop paying attention to these losers and let them slip back into the oblivion that they came from??

Thanks for first raping "Situation" by Yaz and then shitting all over it. There is no god...

almost anyone's ass would look all right if they stuck it out like that all the time. She's gonna have back problems by 25 from sticking it out a full foot in the rear. Her legs are looking a little chunky and yes cellulite ridden. Ewwwww

holy fuck what was that?

i wasn't expecting much, but that was really quite terrible.

Does spencer choreograph her also? Her moves are so juvenile and the outfit does nothing to flatter her whatsoever...

LOL WOW. thats funny it was getting so annoying hearing about them..
Now i See Heidi Pratt Performing.. lol HILARIOUS. She SUCKED SOOOO Bad, I meen don't you know lip syncing performers never make it that far. lol but fakkn is wat she does best but yes please get a tan or something airbrush heide man.. LOL Spencer reminds me of those ppl trying to sell me somethng at my house just stop.. stop stop.. lol

What a slutty attention whore. I saw that asinine "dance" routine of hers, and she's totally uncoordinated & awkward. Showing off her big fake titties & fat ass in a bikini is all she's good for; she can't sing, she can't dance, and she sure as hell can't act...

Playboy should get their money back. She shows as much, if not more, here than she did for them.

shes got a hot ass but im sick of seeing anything about these two idiots.

but heidi and her little dog spencefag or whatever the hell his name is are both ugly ass sons of bitches...her cellulite puts my 80 year old grandma's to shame...

is it me or does it seem that she is lip singing in that video of her at miss universe pageant?

Anyone know the serial numbers on her implants? I need some lucky numbers for this week's lotto.

Anyone know the serial numbers on her implants? I need some lucky numbers for this week's lotto.

Ok she needs to realize she will never be Britney. And people have to stop posting about this chick and her douche of a bf. Also who ever buys her CD needs to get shot.

Was she "dancing" to the same "music" that I heard?

She's always been vapid, dumb, vain, unattractive, and untalented but at least she had a fantastic body. You had to wonder what would happen when her body began to rebel against her.

It's started...Picture 6...her ass....NASTY!!!!

@67
I'm with ya. The next time I see Heidi and Spencer on this site and the header isn't "HEIDI AND SPENCER ARE DEAD" I'M OUT.

Whatever happened to the Speidi ban?!?!?!?!

She looks like she's putting on a few punds.

Seriously, pic #5 looks like she is trying to keep an invisible midget from attacking her nether-regions. Like anyone would want to go there...

these two are so fucking bizarre. i really hope her insides are dead so that these fuckers will never reproduce.

Ok, these two well........ You can't really say that they're ugly... BUT WHY are they famous? I know that I've missed something, I don't know what that is.. and I really don't care to find out. I seriously thought they were a joke until I saw an interview where they were talking about how famous they are.. and then I knew that they were for real. UGH

Heidi would more tolerable if she atually DID something.

I think I see a nip slip in pic 28.

I hate these fucking ass hats. They make me want to punch the screen of my Mac. And I love my Mac. Asshats.

I hate these fucking ass hats. They make me want to punch the screen of my Mac. And I love my Mac. Asshats.

I like that she is not super tan

Where's a serial killer when you need one? Couldn't they both fit into a suitcase?

It's a shame he's a fag because she deserves to have the shit fucked out of her every night. Vapid twat or not, that shit is hot!!

this site has become completely irrelevant. bookmark erased! goodbye, and good riddance!

me la garcho contra la pared y la lleno hasta las orejas, que culo!!!

Am I the only one who sees a NIPPLE in pic 1 (gallery_enlarged-0824_heidi_montag_bikini_27.jpg)??

Here

http://thesuperficial.com/2009/08/bfm_enlarged/enlarged-heidi_montag_in_a_bikini_1.php?bfm_index=27

ok so i know she was working out to build muscle so she'd be curvier, but it reeeaaaalllllllly just looks like she ate too much and got fat...

If we stop commenting about her then The Superficial will stop ruining their site with pic. and stories about her. It is all publicity. Where is Mike and Jon tonight?

Of course it's always chicks who call her body disgusting. Her body is rocking, you're all just jealous. Anyone can tell.

For the love of God, somebody kill them before they reproduce!!

I am so sick of seeing her in a bikini. Yes, she has a perfect body, but I've seen it so many times, it's committed to memory! Don't we have any other news?

This must stop. These two must be ended. Their 15 minutes are long over.

22. Chesty peacock - August 24, 2009 12:46 PM

That amount of cellulite on a 21 year old is NOT tight. Or right.

dude, that chick has not an ounce of cellulite... her skin looks dirty cos of the reflections from the water... not saying it looks good, but it is what it is, not what it isn't... with so many imperfections to choose from, why not choose from the plethora that actually exist?

She looks fat. Is she letting herself go already?

dear superficial writer

i will blow you a hundred times if you pinky promise that i never have to see these delusional walking pieces of shit on a stick ever again on your website
i'm not kidding

She does _not_ have a perfect body. She has stumpy little legs. (Also, fake tits.)

The things that fantasies are made of:

1. Spencer Pratt at the bottom of the ocean.

2. Heidi Montag, a ball gag, a case of KY Jelly, a set of village square pillory stocks, and a case of Diet Pepsi! Can't you just imagine her squealing and drooling ...???

CHRIST -- I'd fuck that ass until she split in two, then make her suck my dick clean!

if i see him holding that worthless playboy one more time, he better hide.
and now he has shirt with it on it

#124...get you with the stumpy legs. It really shows in the Miss Universe "wtf" performance....but, how do fake tits not help to make a perfect body? Have you seen some of the real tits out there?

I'm a fake man myself...

127. I'm sure you are a fake man.

intelligence agency, please take note. destroy these. they are ruining security of north america. just saying. they are horrid, and make us ALL look bad. :(

anyone notice that all the back up dancers are kind of chunky? is that so she can look thinner? actually, the backups were more enjoyable to watch since they had rhythm, even with the extra boo-tay. Heidi's just kind of disgusting.

poor dumb girl...

wow...she is a terrible dancer. i just threw up in my mouth a little.

I'd be all over that ass like stink on the unibomber.

Skank, dull, fug, cellulite, dumb-as-a-rock, ... Stop the maddness, 'Fish dude. Enough!

I'd rather see a gorgeous faced Eastern European "model" than this digustingly pathetic plain-faced bimbo and her inbred husband.

Seriously Fish, you are fucking failing at this. First that scank of an actress Fox and now this horridly trailer trash?

I'm more than happy to read theblemish than thesuperifical.

Can't believe I'm doing this but....

I watched the Miss Universe video and she looked great, except the outift and taking off the jacket was a Britney MTV vids knockoff. However, she danced and lip synced better than what Britney has been doing these days and the song wasn't horrible.

Now with that said, what makes her suck is she depends on her body to get her attention and when she said thank you in the mic after she performed was like listening to ... oh I don't know... a three year old little girl. Her speaking voice needs just as much work as she put into her body. Honestly, if the girl dumped Spencer, got a different publicist ( I guess that would be killing 2 birds with one stone by getting rid of disSpencable), I think she could have something going. Compared to watching and looking at Britney?????

All you folks saying she's fat... are you f ing kidding me? I wouldn't mind having her body for a body. I'd flaunt that shit too, but not if I was getting paid like she is. whore.

You people are crazy. I would lick her stuff until she begged me to stop.

When did she get fat?

123. is on the mark. I commend your efforts to ban Amy Shithouse, but you have reverted to Heidiology, which is the study of instigating the multitudes until they shoot you in the face. The Pratts need to go.

The video's better than I thought it would be, but she's still a joke. Who did she (or Spencer) have to suck off to get that gig?

I'D BANG THE SHIT OUT OF HER! Come on you gayasses I know yall would look at that bod.

Really? REALLY? You're going to wear a shirt with her magazine cover on it and pretend to read that godforsaken thing?

They should both be eliminated from the gene pool.

Can anyone name any redeeming qualities about these fuckholes?
Anyone?

Didn't think so.

Please die.

Really? REALLY? You're going to wear a shirt with her magazine cover on it and pretend to read that godforsaken thing?

They should both be eliminated from the gene pool.

Can anyone name any redeeming qualities about these fuckholes?
Anyone?

Didn't think so.

Please die.

She looks like she actually has an ass in these pics

She looks like she actually has an ass in these pics

Entirely fuckable. If you have no talent, and decent looks, you will make more money than a PhD.

Okay, aside from being horrendously annoying, she's got a pretty nice body. Yes she has implants and a nose job, but she's not hideous. As for those cellulite and ass pimple comments, I don't see any. Stop hating on her physical characteristics, they're just trying to extend their 15 minutes of fame. They are just like Paris Hilton and are just famous now for totally trying to sell themselves and their annoying image.

Okay. She has a great body, plastic surgery did her well, but can we stop talking about her now??? I don't understand the attention her and her hideous boyfriend are getting. No more! Please!

Is this all real or pass all surgeryprocess? wanna have the same figure.

Is this all real or pass all surgeryprocess?

i would definitely love to hit that tail, as for Spencer, he can be carried away by Hurricane Bill and we wouldn't mind at all.

I can really dig this girl, she has no talent, but does have a really good body. So what if she had breast implants, I'ld really go for her. Her playboy spread sucked though, I could have see those in Sports Illustrated or any store catalog. Her butt looks awesome though, does any one know if she had butt implants.

I like to know which sunday school teach you how to gyrate like that.

I don't know if the bottom bikini is strategically placed but that's a pretty nice kack playground...

Ok, so they get to the beach and say "hey! I think I'll pose just in case someone is here with a camera!" ?????? WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT??? WHO DOES THAT?????

And about the video... I only watched 45 sec... That is a torture of 3.31 min!!!

Goddammit, now I am blind. Guess I got what I deserved by looking at this nasty, vapid, horse faced, fake plastic fugly, her bra fits better when she puts it on backwards, should be sterile, nasty, ugly, cottage cheese asses, fucking nasty ass bitch

I suspect she got butt implants to match her breasts. It looks bigger, a bit unnatural, and the way she keeps sticking it out makes it seem like she's extra proud.

I have to add that I think the world has found a couple tackier than Dog and Beth Chapman.... geez... I did not think it could get any worse... white trash with money... "Hay Yew, Look at my waaaaaf in the playboy mag-u-zine, hell jus look at maaaaa shirt! She sure is purdy huh? Wha?? No?/ Why I'll beat you like Dale Earnhardt..."

WHO ARE THEY ? I just see them on this website, they are not famous at all.

WHO ARE THEY ? I just see them on this website, they are not famous at all.

How would she react to a Peter North special?
Would she take it like a champ or dodge it like like a chump?

Biggest fucking Ass I have ever seen !! She should cover that monster up already.

That's not a nipple slip fish. That's part of her multi-colored top. One look at the enlarged photo confirmed this. You writing this blog on a cell phone? Or just never seen a real nipple before?

Fish, PLEASE stop posting about these two. Really. What happened to your promise that you'd only post if it involved bikinis?

PLEASE stop posting these... celebutards. Please?

These have got to be the two most completely worthless human beings on the face of the planet.

Please tell me he is not actually wearing a shirt with her Playboy cover on it?
Really, that shot was nothing to brag about.
"Hey, guys. Did you check out my wife being a tease this issue?"
Seriously, nothing to brag about.

&& Picture 28 is not a nip slip.
It's her bathing suit if you look real hard.

Please tell me he is not actually wearing a shirt with her Playboy cover on it?
Really, that shoot was nothing to brag about.
"Hey, guys. Did you check out my wife being a tease this issue?"
Seriously, nothing to brag about.

&& Picture 28 is not a nip slip.
It's her bathing suit if you look real hard.

Hmmmm.. this girl is actually giving me a boner. Shes a bad girl, trying her best to hand out wood. Would love to see this chick in some XXX porn photos :P Long legs, tight belly, hot ass. Yep, shes sexy.

*Yawn*

Every day I jump on here and see the same people over, and over again.

These two useless turds, Paris, Lohan....... pretty boring.

I admit, I would love to see her spread eagle and parting the curtains but her cock would get in the way.

And by cock I mean Spencer.

In the pics, did anyone else notice the BIG zit on her ass? She would be halfway pretty if Spencer wasnt around.

OMG! Who thought this would be a good idea having a stupid skank who can't dance or sing as a counterpoint to the lovely and talented contestants? GENIUS!

#171 ... exactly, now, on that note, will Spencer please stick that fucking Playboy magazine up his ass (sideways, so it hurts more) and fuck the hell off, and take his "hot wife" with him.

lumpy legs...maybe she should get more surgery.

Heidi is white trash!

Heidi is white trash!

Heidi is white trash!

Heidi is white trash!

go back to your colorado suburb and stop TRASHING CALIFORNIA!

She's getting fat from all the BOOZE she's guzzling, she's obviously shitfaced here!

I don't blame her, I couldn't be less than five drinks deep to hang out with that disgusting psychopath!

Let alone be all over his nuts! GROSS!

thank god i didn't have breakfast this morning, i'm feeling ill. heidi's big white ass might look nice to you guys, but i'm just imagining how smelly and gross she is from being pounded by spencer all day. eww.

i feel sorry for them

Good work, Heidi! Keep growing that tiny ass, and I may some day grant you my boner...

Her ass is getting chunky.. that's what happens when you get married lol

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG!!!

LOLOLOL!!!!

I LOVE THESE PEOPLE, THEY ARE SOO FUCKED UP ITS SOOO HILARIOUS!

ahhh i love a great laugh at the end of my day...

p.s. THATS what people really look lik WITHOUT photoshop.

and shes SOOOO NOT fat you jealous fags! she is SLIM and trim, those pics are TERRIBLE angles, if shes so fat then SHOW us what YOU got thats so special.

haters.

Please someone, anyone send these two morons links to these pages so that they can see what people really think of them.

You must have super vision because I see no nipple.
And didn't you say you weren't posting about them anymore? Seriously, it's ok. No one will miss them.

that main pic is pretty unflattering...but she has a nice body aside from those implants

To be honest she sort of looks like she has used speed or veterinary pharmaceuticals to try to keep her weight down and all she has managed to do is burn off most of her muscle and leave intact a fairly healthy layer of fat, which aint gonna burn itself off, baby.
Even if its not chemically aided weight management, it sure doesnt look like weight management that has involved resistence training with weights.
The dead chick higher up the page has a better body, Jasmine whatever her name was.
Heidi knows shes a fraud too - shoulda' woulda' coulda' said no to the photo shoot to give you the time to get that pasty shapeless dough into shape, Heidi - better get Spengle out out there with his ostrich feather fans on the exotic dancing circuit to bring home the bacon. (and what a fucking untasty sight that would be too)

and as for the gumby looking poses in the photo shoot - WTF?! That cant be serious?! what a fucking laugh!

Heidi's dumpy legs never cease to make me smile.

It's not a small thing to perform at the Miss Universe Pageant,isn't it?

I'm surprised she didn't fall or passed out on stage?!

That 'thank you' from her all the way at the end of the clip sounded a bit like Paris Hilton.

THIS PICTURE IS SO UNREAL. WHO DOES THIS IN FRONT OF CAMERAS!?!?!!?!??!!?!??!?!?!?!?!

http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2009/08/0824%20Heidi%20Montag%20Bikini/gallery_enlarged/gallery_enlarged-0824_heidi_montag_bikini_23.jpg

WHY DOESNT SHE JUST BE A REAL HO AND SHOW HER ENTIRE PUSSY. GOD DAMN.

Does this hag EVER shut her fucking pie hole?

It looks like her back up dancers had to down play their actual talent to make her look less horrific. Too bad it didn't work.

I'd tap that.

celulitis :S