Aug 12 2009Gary Coleman must be broke as shit and other news

- Chris Brown is truly suffering for beating the shit out of Rihanna. I mean, he went to the club last night without an entourage. I thought we were done torturing as a nation? [Got your back, Lainey.]
- Heidi Montag still hasn't told her dad she's posing in Playboy so she can maintain her "Christian values." My brain just folded in on itself after typing that sentence. I drool now. [Socialite Life]
- Jack Nicholson's decrepit body has sex with women. Yet somehow I find this less improbable than Jon Gosselin's neverending poon train. [Celebslam]
- Alessandra Ambrosio licking an ice cream cone. There is a God. [The Blemish]
- Gwyneth Paltrow's cooking videos are like "watching paint dry," according to Real Housewives of New York star Bethenny Frankel. Which is ironic considering that show is like watching middle-aged women's vaginas dry. Too real? [Just Jared]
- Shia LaBeouf's masturbation problem is solved! [PopSugar]
- Criss Angel is still alive despite Internet rumors to the contrary and this voodoo doll I told Britney Spears was a hot dog. [PopEater]
Thanks to Katrina for the photo submission except now I'm hungry for French fries with a side of sadness sauce.

Reader Comments
1. Holly - August 12, 2009 11:01 PM
That's a super cute Sharpei!
2. misterister - August 12, 2009 11:03 PM
He looks like a miniature Nipsy Russel or a broke loser....can't make up my mind..I give him two weeks till he's sucking dick for change in East LA.
3. misterfister - August 12, 2009 11:04 PM
He looks like a miniature Nipsy Russel or a broke loser....can't make up my mind..I give him two weeks till he's sucking dick for change in East LA.
4. sumsitupperfectly - August 12, 2009 11:29 PM
See? Heidi Montag sums up the nut job right wing conservative party perfectly. Do whatever the hell you want, just DON'T TELL ANYBODY and hope to God you don't get caught. Then pray to him on Entertainment Tonight when you do.
5. TheOverrated - August 12, 2009 11:43 PM
poor gary coleman, he looks like someone shit him out
http://theoverrated.com/
6. Anonymouse - August 13, 2009 12:07 AM
"Whatchou talkin bout french fries!!"
7. justifiable - August 13, 2009 12:58 AM
#4 That's because if you deny you did it, it means it never even happened!* That way true "Christian values" like lying and not honoring your parents can be upheld without letting any of Satan's tools like "ethics" interfere.
*This is also known as the Bill Clinton Defense, which I only bring up here to chap the ass of hypocritical conservatives like Heidi who embrace it. to its fullest Irony, ya gotta love it.
8. turd - August 13, 2009 1:15 AM
Midget nigga cunt.....
Is his on screen bro still in the pen or did they let his stinkin ass out?
Ball and chain for you to GC....
9. Narcissist - August 13, 2009 3:31 AM
Actually Gary looks a little stale in that pic.
Poor dude. He'd probably own an island across the water from David Copperfield if his adoptive parents hadn't ripped him off.
Let us just be clear...Heidi wasn't naked, correct? So who cares? She's all over the net in bikinis.
Anyway, I can't really put into words how stupid that is.
Shitting all over Jesus while lying about having/pretending to have Christian values = having Christian values.
Okay. Please kill yourself. You disgust me.
@ 4, 7 - :P
10. Mama Pinkus - August 13, 2009 3:32 AM
aw leave Gary Coleman alone - he's making an honest living which makes him better than a lot of people, including most politicians
11. B Nice - August 13, 2009 9:14 AM
I'm with Mama Pinkus on this one. Here's a guy who is trying to make an honest living.
It's a sucky gig. We've all had sucky gigs.
As a "superficial" comment: he hasn't gained weight, he hasn't tatooed a scorpion to his balls, he hasn't abused his kids, etc.
He was a kid when his parents thrust him down this path. Unlike most of the others, he seems to be "trying."
12. whattheshit - August 13, 2009 10:01 AM
Must not be too broke, he blew off an appearance at the Chicago Comic Con this weekend with Todd Bridges.
13. Randal - August 13, 2009 10:10 AM
Gary with your sunshine smiles and broad shoulders accentuated masculinely in a Pierre le Schendau flannel, you look better than we have seen you of late. And doing what you do best. Making others happy!
Here to you Mr. Coleman!
xoxoxo
Randal
14. maddie - August 13, 2009 10:24 AM
I think it's kind of sad that your all picking on Gary Coleman, he's broke because his parents screwed him out of his money.
15. jess - August 13, 2009 10:39 AM
He's been doing crappy commercials and ads for years now .
16. zippythewonderslug - August 13, 2009 12:03 PM
Has Gary been hanging out with Barry Bonds? Look at the size of his head. Gotta be the steriods.
For only $100.00, you can have your very own life sized Gary Coleman Bobblehead!!! (French Fries not included)
17. Jon and Kate suck my dick - August 13, 2009 12:15 PM
This will be the Gosselin kids in 20-30 years
18. Jeffer - August 13, 2009 4:47 PM
Looks like dried fruit.........
19. Jay - August 14, 2009 9:23 PM
Gotta love Canadian french fry ads. They have a japanese elvis poster too!
20. J - August 14, 2009 9:25 PM
Can't he just fade away...forever?
What a sad life.
21. GCRulez - August 15, 2009 1:26 AM
I always liked Gary. The guy's got a great attitude despite all the shit throwers and whinytarts who don't know him.
And his Johnson is WAY bigger than Obama's. Hilary and Pelosi both say so!
22. Buzzetta - August 18, 2009 5:42 AM
He looks like a mini version of Nipsy Russell