Jul 10 2009Mary-Louise Parker gets naked-like for Esquire
Here's Mary-Louise Parker making my Esquire subscription worth every damn penny in the August issue. Now, I don't want to be one of those chauvinistic guys who says a woman's place is in the kitchen, but this is definitely the way to get a man to buy you something nice. Like a toaster oven. Or that frying pan you've got your eye on.
NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that probably gave Martha Stewart an erection. Also, thanks to Jonah Ray who only reads Esquire for the articles. And the naked women holding pies.
Reader Comments
1. Emma - July 10, 2009 9:02 PM
Spinner body! MILF-like.
2. k8e - July 10, 2009 9:02 PM
i'd do that, and i'm a straight chick
3. GGGGG - July 10, 2009 9:02 PM
She's hot.. Too bad she's into Mexicans!!
4. ccc - July 10, 2009 9:03 PM
not first!
5. Crabby Old Guy - July 10, 2009 9:05 PM
She wants me to go down on her. I know it, she knows it. If she'd only respond to my letters I just KNOW that we'd be so freaking hot together. And lift that silly restrainer order. I mean, what's up with that shit? How are we supposed to be soul mates locked in a twisted embrace for all of eternity if I can't get closer than 100 feet of her? Bitch. Call me.
6. Bridget - July 10, 2009 9:08 PM
I fucking love her!
7. ROUGH daddy - July 10, 2009 9:10 PM
Why is she wearing a mission impossible mask in pic # 2?
8. Scott - July 10, 2009 9:12 PM
So hot! Weeds is worth watching simply because she's in it.
9. yawn - July 10, 2009 9:20 PM
Big deal. We've got free internet porn now. With hot chicks.
10. mia - July 10, 2009 9:28 PM
this woman is pure perfection. she's beautiful, natural and flawless. how does someone look that gorgeous at 44 and with a child?!!?!?! she looks better now than she did in her 30's
11. Zippy the Wonder Slug - July 10, 2009 9:33 PM
I like her nibbles --umm--nipps--um-- I'd like to nibble on her nipples. Very sexy MILF.
Don't forget, she was naked in "Grand Canyon".
12. Tad Bit Tipsy - July 10, 2009 9:35 PM
I'd get high and shag that...
13. NxIxCxKxMxAxNx - July 10, 2009 9:36 PM
what a whore. j/k
14. lambman - July 10, 2009 9:36 PM
YUM YUM YUM PERFECTION!!!!
Man I totally love her, all lesser MILFs bow down to Nancy Bowtin, fuck she is one fine looking woman
15. tia - July 10, 2009 9:37 PM
this woman is pure horseface. she's plain, pale and old. how does one look this average when you're a celeb?!!?!?!
16. Tr3ndwhor3 - July 10, 2009 9:41 PM
Such an beautiful woman..Also, I'm slightly confused. When did Esquire become Playboy, and Playboy become Esquire? I don't know what to subscribe to for breasts anymore!
17. yeahandalso - July 10, 2009 9:42 PM
Absolutely love her, the sexiest and most talented woman on TV
gorgeous milkly skin, doe eyes, hot abs damn good looking lady
tia- you're just jealous because you've probably already got a F.U.P.A. at 19 and know that when you are 44 and have kids you couldn't in your wildest dreams look anywhere near as attractive as Mary Louise
18. Tad Bit Tipsy - July 10, 2009 9:43 PM
@15 Dike...
19. xia - July 10, 2009 9:47 PM
@ 18 Is that dyke or dick?
20. uh - July 10, 2009 9:57 PM
@15
You've got some weird taste. She's an awesome, talented actress, and she's got a gorgeous face.
21. hollywood_hillbilly - July 10, 2009 10:11 PM
Douchey, other than the ones you pay for, all women are wearing a "mission impossible mask" for you. Now, shouldn't you be running along to Mark Foley's slumber party?
22. Mary Miller - July 10, 2009 10:14 PM
Never thought this gal was cute. Her nose moves up and down when she talks. Gawky and awkward and these pics are doctored. If she really looked like this would Billy Crudup have left her, while knocked up, for Claire Danes? By the way, he' s an asshole.
23. shankyouverymuch - July 10, 2009 10:30 PM
Big mouth- Big teeth- Tiny Little Boobies :O(
24. Anexio - July 10, 2009 11:02 PM
I'm not sure whats causing all the erections around here.
In pic 4 her teeth look like something that would take a chunk out of Mine That Bird and she is, of course, fat and gross.
Out
25. Lorenzo - July 10, 2009 11:03 PM
I want her to birth my children.
26. Ashford - July 10, 2009 11:04 PM
@15
Fag
27. norton - July 10, 2009 11:12 PM
I always thought she was sexy in a slightly trashy way.... not that she's trashy but she gives off some kind of back home, pick-up truck and Jack Daniels thing.
But whoa.....she's hot, hot, hot.
28. Janelle - July 10, 2009 11:31 PM
The Pictures look GREAT but...... her face looks over botoxed in the video!!
29. Let's party! - July 10, 2009 11:32 PM
I'm 99.9% sure that all these "She's so hawt!1!" posts are by women.
30. cabanagirl - July 10, 2009 11:57 PM
Does picture 4 look a little Michael Jacksonish to anyone else? Freaky!
31. Dura - July 11, 2009 12:01 AM
Man she's hot and looks damn good for a 45 year old.
32. spudsy - July 11, 2009 12:01 AM
Ugh, she's fat. And ugly. What's the big deal with her?
33. Zazz - July 11, 2009 12:06 AM
@ 32 So's you're mama, but you still love her, am I right??
34. numbah 31 - July 11, 2009 12:07 AM
haha, that's exactly what you are, dura..
35. Screaming Meat Nugget - July 11, 2009 12:53 AM
This must be from the UK Esquire, because the US magazines are too scared to show nudity.
36. Zee Brat - July 11, 2009 12:56 AM
She's beautiful.
37. Yolo - July 11, 2009 1:09 AM
@ 30: I thought that exact same thing when I saw that picture.
38. JazzmanAndy - July 11, 2009 1:11 AM
Tease....
39. Balls McCoy - July 11, 2009 1:12 AM
I'd give her two sugarcubes and ride her in the Preakness.
40. captain america - July 11, 2009 1:27 AM
.........................ameicans saw the "LIGHT", folks?
41. Yeah - July 11, 2009 1:52 AM
Tomorrow she'll be bitching about how somebody "goaded" her into this shoot. Fuck her. Fucking assless old dead-eyed biddy.
42. RtSS - July 11, 2009 1:57 AM
Damn, I'd pop that cherry!!! That poopchute is looking mighty good all dressed-up in that frilly lingere... Time to put my hard hat on, and go exploring that dirt tunnel.
43. Kmm - July 11, 2009 2:00 AM
Fucking hot for 44. I would love to make her all sticky. Yum fucking yummy. Now I gotta go touch my self....Ok I'm done.
44. cracka ass - July 11, 2009 2:49 AM
i'd tongue her butt.
45. Donkey Punch - July 11, 2009 2:50 AM
I worked with her on a film and she is one psycho chick. Serious mental problems.
Recently she cried about a nude scene in Weeds in which she complained she didn't really want to do it. The bitch had a nude scene in the film I worked on, and as you can see here she doesn't have a problem doing it.
Take my word for it, she is insane.
46. Galtacticus - July 11, 2009 3:03 AM
Hola! That makes me really hungry,a fresh baked pie!
47. His Huge Greatness Himself - July 11, 2009 3:49 AM
Cherry pie?
48. The Edit - July 11, 2009 4:14 AM
Whatever.
The pie has a better butt.
49. HankTheDwarf - July 11, 2009 4:30 AM
I would gladly eat her asshole out.
50. nandini - July 11, 2009 4:39 AM
looking hot & sexy
ur hips is looking georgous
51. GROAARH! - July 11, 2009 5:17 AM
These photos are the proof that cooking is a very effective work out!
52. Darth - July 11, 2009 5:28 AM
10:30 pm is a bit too late for bedtime! How about 5:30 pm?
53. mikeock - July 11, 2009 6:13 AM
I wonder if that pie has hair?
54. DirtyKash - July 11, 2009 6:16 AM
tears in his eyes I guess.....
55. DirtyKash - July 11, 2009 6:18 AM
Tears in his eyes I guess....
56. Alieu Colley - July 11, 2009 7:05 AM
She has beautiful shape. Everybody will like her.
57. Alieu Colley - July 11, 2009 7:07 AM
She has beautiful shape. Everybody will like her.
58. ROUGH daddy - July 11, 2009 7:07 AM
That is some rationale Backwood bitch....not only am i "paying women," im attending slumber parties at your idol's....Anything to inject yourself into my E-world...you clearly have an inferior complex and its fully justified...
59. Rob - July 11, 2009 7:52 AM
In the photo of her laughing she looks like fucking MJ! Disgusting..
60. blahblah - July 11, 2009 8:17 AM
Isnt this the same woman who complained about producers coercing her
into doing a nude bathtub scene in Weeds? If I remember correctly that was only a few months ago and she was whining to the media incessantly. What a hypocrite.
61. Onyx Blackman - July 11, 2009 8:41 AM
Is she gong to whine and say that the photog pressured her into getting nude for these pics? Cause that's exactly what she did after she got naked on Weeds.
62. Meream - July 11, 2009 9:28 AM
She is super hot! Pretty, too. Good actress, too. :D
63. Gando - July 11, 2009 12:14 PM
It must be very hot in the kitchen!?
64. Ariana - July 11, 2009 12:22 PM
Uhh, she looks like MJ in the last pic.
65. pc - July 11, 2009 12:28 PM
YOU ALL SOUND LIKE IMMATURE , LITTLE VIRGINS THAT HAVE NEVER BEEN LAID BEFORE OR EVEN SEEN A LADY IN UNDERWEAR FOR THAT MATTER ...CHILL OUT WE ALL KNOW WHAT OUR PRIVATE PARTS LOOK LIKE SOME LOOK BETTER THAN OTHERS BUT AS LONG AS ALL THE PIECES ARE THERE THEY ALL WORK THE SAME WAY !!!! PEOPLE SHOULD AHVE MORE CLASS AND SELF RESPECT !!!
66. pc - July 11, 2009 12:28 PM
YOU ALL SOUND LIKE IMMATURE , LITTLE VIRGINS THAT HAVE NEVER BEEN LAID BEFORE OR EVEN SEEN A LADY IN UNDERWEAR FOR THAT MATTER ...CHILL OUT WE ALL KNOW WHAT OUR PRIVATE PARTS LOOK LIKE SOME LOOK BETTER THAN OTHERS BUT AS LONG AS ALL THE PIECES ARE THERE THEY ALL WORK THE SAME WAY !!!! PEOPLE SHOULD AHVE MORE CLASS AND SELF RESPECT !!!
67. frank lloyd wright - July 11, 2009 12:38 PM
She can work out but nothing can get rid of that dog face. She did her Hollyweird white-guilt bit by adopting an Ethiopian girl.
68. celebs love me - July 11, 2009 12:40 PM
Unless there's something clinically wrong with you, none of you posting comments about her being fat really think she is. You're just trying to piss people off. Well done.
69. uh - July 11, 2009 12:43 PM
Would you guys shut up about the comment she made about getting nude on Weeds? First of all, she only said she felt it was unnecessary but the producers really wanted it. She doesn't have a problem with nudity. She gets naked all the time on TV as she pointed out. It was just one scene that she didn't agree with and everyone blew it out of proportion.
And how the fuck do you say she's had too much botox when she made that huge wide smile in pic 4?
I'm a straight girl, but MLP is one woman I'd definitely switch teams for. She does a phenomenal job on Weeds.
70. Adopted Kid - July 11, 2009 12:51 PM
Didn't she adopt a kid? Poor kid. She is weird.
71. mateo - July 11, 2009 1:07 PM
So fucking into her!
72. Jennah - July 11, 2009 1:26 PM
That blue striped kitchen towel is from IKEA. I have the same one. fun fact.
73. Loren - July 11, 2009 2:07 PM
@65... So you know what Michael Jackson's ass looks like in lingerie? Somebody call the Enquirer!
74. closeups ruin it - July 11, 2009 2:09 PM
I thought she was cute but then I clicked on pic 4.....
she is kinda fug
75. Parker - July 11, 2009 2:16 PM
I'd like to inject her ass with apple pie filling then buttfuck her.
76. kramer - July 11, 2009 2:43 PM
And my life suddenly becomes more joyful...
77. His Huge Greatness Himself - July 11, 2009 3:07 PM
Hawt!
78. D - July 11, 2009 3:16 PM
she looks like michael jackson in that last photo...
79. Blue - July 11, 2009 4:39 PM
She's 44? That's insane. I mean, I've never heard of her (not known in Britain maybe) but she's beautiful. Fantastic body, too.
80. rade - July 11, 2009 5:14 PM
I hope I'm still that hot when I reach her age
81. marvin linskin - July 11, 2009 5:46 PM
Her back is long and straight. She needs to grow some buns.
82. Ari Ola - July 11, 2009 6:06 PM
One minute she's regretting doing topless scenes and the next she's showing us her pert little pokies. Personally I like her topless and bottomless. Apart from having big nipples (her words) her hairy box is also a wondrous sight.
83. anonymous - July 11, 2009 7:01 PM
I'm not seeing what the big deal is on this chick. Her body is OK but she has no butt whatsoever and she looks slighly psychotic...she has crazy eyes. #45 I take your word for it - she looks unstable (I'm sure that makes her even hotter to some guys, LOL!).
84. whomever - July 11, 2009 7:33 PM
She's adorable. Naturally beautiful and looks like she knows how to kick back and relax. And oh yeah, I love baking in my lingerie.
85. ROUGH daddy - July 11, 2009 7:48 PM
The grim ripper has move into sport now Arturo Gatti is dead....
86. haroof - July 11, 2009 7:55 PM
I love this little slut.
She looks like she would be a beast in bed.
87. Bongo Murphy - July 11, 2009 8:54 PM
Is it just me or does she look like MICHAEL JACKSON in picture 4.....?
88. spweeee - July 11, 2009 9:10 PM
Yes Bongo, many people have already pointed that out, but thanks for sharing.
89. britneysucks - July 11, 2009 9:54 PM
She has so much botox she's completely incapable of any facial expressions. I don't get the hype for this chick.
90. dude_on - July 11, 2009 10:31 PM
She totally looks like a trashy hump monster in this set. Somehow I can will myself beyond her lack of facial expressions when I look at her ass. There really is nothing hotter than a woman in lingerie rolling dough. Cooking foreplay is so underrated, and when done sensibly can lead to a healthy lifestyle. I would shower her with arugula and douse her with a nonfat lemon zest vinaigrette. Dessert's on me.
91. the brain - July 11, 2009 11:34 PM
eh, its a tit.
92. Charlie Caligula - July 12, 2009 12:32 AM
Crudup was smart to hit and quit her crazy, annoying ass.
93. WinkLady - July 12, 2009 1:46 AM
Apparently she wasn't happy about showing her boobs on Weeds last season. That being said, I wonder why she agreed to this shoot....
94. divey - July 12, 2009 2:53 AM
This pic looks like Michael Jackson reborn.
95. Jack Smith - July 12, 2009 3:20 AM
Thank you Jesus. We're totally square now.
96. Bomber Fish - July 12, 2009 4:20 AM
#93 - Yeah exactly, she was whining that she hated showing skin in the final episode of last season....so those were my thoughts exactly too.
She has GORGEOUS legs. A bit too skinny for my taste - she doesn't look healthy in my opinion.
97. THAT_GIRL_JENN - July 12, 2009 5:12 AM
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
THE MOST AVERAGE LOOKING ANOREXIC WHITE GIRL IS CONSIDERED HOT? HAVE YOU SEEN ETHNIC WOMEN? THIS GIRL LOOKS LIKE A DOG AND YOU ALL EAT HER UP.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
98. Katie - July 12, 2009 10:06 AM
#16 said it first.. when did playboy n esquire switch? That ugly heidi bitch poses for playboy not nude so does that other fake skank now but then u have actual beauties who are actually sexy doing this for a so called "lesser" magazine... the media is fucking crazy :P
99. dio - July 12, 2009 10:53 AM
she's cute, looks good for being 50 or whatever, but those stick legs and flat ass are doing nothing for me. also weeds is a fucking stupid show, like everything else on showtime.
100. G&T - July 12, 2009 11:35 AM
Wow! MJ is ALIVE!!! Look at Pic #4 !!!!!
101. Mohammed - July 12, 2009 2:14 PM
She's the hottest MILF on tv. I am amazed she looks that good at 60.
102. Stephanie - July 12, 2009 3:21 PM
And she was SOOO hurt that she got 'goaded' into showing tits on "Weeds"(which was unbearable after season 3).her pre-teen is fucking girls in HER house and her oldest tried to ruin his g/f's chance at an Ivy league school by poking holes in their condoms. None of these issues are addressed. I hope the Mexican mafia puts a bullet in this whore's head. I'd actually watch that episode.
103. Stephanie - July 12, 2009 3:24 PM
And she was SOOO hurt that she got 'goaded' into showing tits on "Weeds"(which was unbearable after season 3).her pre-teen is fucking girls in HER house and her oldest tried to ruin his g/f's chance at an Ivy league school by poking holes in their condoms. None of these issues are addressed. I hope the Mexican mafia puts a bullet in this whore's head. I'd actually watch that episode.
104. Ari Ola - July 12, 2009 6:56 PM
Talking about sex in the kitchen, I bet she could swallow most of that rolling pin and not notice.
105. stormwyrm - July 12, 2009 8:56 PM
So someone actually did the (in)famous naked apron of anime fandom... Sadly she has kinda a weird looking face (she looks like freaking Michael Jackson in pic no. 4!) that distracts from the whole thing.
106. meana - July 13, 2009 1:10 AM
bag for the face, please, then a force feeding for two-four weeks for the body. what a "classy" gal, rolling out pie-dough for the menfolk in this high-falutin' magazine in her skivvies. it's ok she does what any oterh skank does in other rags b/c this is for ESQUIRE. oh yes. what crime she has no oscar. does anyone REALLy think this is sexy? aside from the submissive female, good l'il wifey psychological aspects of it? i thought not.
107. Martha Stewart - July 13, 2009 10:35 AM
Hey, those aren't pie cherries, those are sweet cherries! That pie's not going to be any good. Mary-Louise Parker doesn't know what she's doing.
108. Nancy Botwin - July 13, 2009 12:20 PM
Incredible!!! Those boobs are just PERFECT!!!
109. Geronimo - July 13, 2009 1:01 PM
Good looking woman, but it's obvious she's had work because she's hotter now, at 44, than she was in her 30s and 20s. Nothing but a fantasy.
110. Disgruntlordd - July 13, 2009 5:29 PM
i specifically said NO pubes in my cookies bitch, do it again.
111. Huh - July 13, 2009 7:29 PM
Wow..I'd totally nut on her face, chest, legs and feet.
A tad on the skinny side but nice boobies are nice boobies
112. CharlieBarley - July 13, 2009 10:02 PM
Yeah, I'd hit that every day, and hourly on weekends.
113. Airkeeper - July 14, 2009 3:29 AM
Is it me, or does she kinda resemble micheal jackson in pic #4?
114. Ridel - July 14, 2009 3:08 PM
Teasing MILF..... Nice!!!!!