Jun 22 2009The 'Uncut Rihanna Sex Tape' Some Jackass Just Sent Me: An Open Letter
Dear HyptroniQ Music,
Today you sent me a video of the "RIHANNA FULL SEX TAPE" that you claim is "NOT lavish styles !! look at it" when, let's be frank, it's definitely Lavish Styles. That said, I applaud your attempts in this new version to touch up her forehead then cover it up with a night-vision filter making it slightly more believable than last week's "teaser." Good effort.
Now, level with me, what the hell is the point of all this? The first five minutes is a guy walking around in a bathrobe while Arnold Schwarzenegger does a voiceover about Rihanna stealing his wallet and iPod forcing him to seek revenge by posting her "sex tape." Later, text on the screen encourages viewers to go to Koko Fresh Killa's website to see the rest of the video which, surprise, is not there. So, obviously, it's a publicity stunt. I just have one thing to say:
NOBODY GO TO KOKO'S SITE. THERE IS NO NEW RIHANNA SEX TAPE.
Thanks for the tip and I hope you get your cock sued off,
The Superficial
NOTE: Video is extremely NSFW and not Rihanna. Also, don't go to Koko's site in case I forgot to mention that before.
Reader Comments
1. lucci - June 22, 2009 1:45 PM
the guy is a douche
2. Danny - June 22, 2009 1:46 PM
Right. So this is newsworthy.
3. pirhan - June 22, 2009 1:46 PM
Thanks for the heads up. Not that I visit any Myspace page, but just in case my judgments become cloudy today.
4. lucci - June 22, 2009 1:46 PM
the guy is a totally douche
5. It's Me Fuckers - June 22, 2009 1:47 PM
Perez only got a taste of what he deserves. Why is it that a known Homosexual can call a straight person a FAG and it's okay? But if you turn it around and have the straight guy call Perez a FAG, it is racist? I'd call Perez a cunt but I highly doubt he has the warmth OR depth to live up to the name.
6. It's Me Fuckers - June 22, 2009 1:47 PM
Perez only got a taste of what he deserves. Why is it that a known Homosexual can call a straight person a FAG and it's okay? But if you turn it around and have the straight guy call Perez a FAG, it is racist? I'd call Perez a cunt but I highly doubt he has the warmth OR depth to live up to the name.
7. Superevil - June 22, 2009 1:52 PM
5 & 6: Sexual orientation isn't a race dumbass therefore it can't be racist
8. Jeezy - June 22, 2009 1:58 PM
@5: Gay people can call others "fags" just like blacks can use the "n-word". The world isn't fair, but that's the way it is.
9. Andy - June 22, 2009 2:09 PM
What the hell is this? Why are you posting this? This site is falling apart.
10. uh - June 22, 2009 2:30 PM
Why does anyone care about a fake Rihanna sex tape when there's a REAL celebrity sex tape that just came out?
11. emmy - June 22, 2009 2:43 PM
What is going on? Who cares? I don't understand this at all...not that most celebrity stuff is newsworthy, but I am so at a loss as to the point or purpose of this rant.
Getting fired up like that only draws attention to the instigator (and said MySpace)...you would have done better to have said nothing at all. You pretty much just gave this guy a wicked amount of free publicity!
12. Danklin24 - June 22, 2009 2:57 PM
Rofl this is hilarious and might i add koko fresh killa is the GAYEST pseudo name ever! I guess its okay if you're a male stripper that enjoys being tea bagged by other dudes.
13. WTF - June 22, 2009 3:03 PM
Since when did the Superfish become mean & nasty in place of funny?! Sad
14. cash - June 22, 2009 3:06 PM
Nah, I like the new Fish.
15. kerplunk - June 22, 2009 3:15 PM
This "The Superficial" post is... out of character and not The Superficial that we all know and love. This writer should be fired.
16. RichPort's Ghost - June 22, 2009 3:15 PM
Those hips are getting wider by the minute.
17. Spoonman - June 22, 2009 3:24 PM
I've seen clearer video of both Bigfoot and the Loch Ness monster. Perhaps it was recorded with the very first video camera ever made?
18. James - June 22, 2009 3:58 PM
The video is not working. WTF?
19. safarijoe - June 22, 2009 4:09 PM
I'm a racist douche with a small penis.
20. K - June 22, 2009 4:19 PM
To 'It's Me Fuckers': Calling someone a 'fag' isn't racist, since, let's see, it's NOT A RACE. Dumbass.
21. oh K - June 22, 2009 4:28 PM
K, it's still a hate crime to call someone a fag stupid.
22. Rupert - June 22, 2009 4:35 PM
So I went to that site, but that doesn't seem like Rihanna. Why would it be someone else?
23. mizzty - June 22, 2009 4:39 PM
I think comments are jacked, I'm not the Uncut Rihanna story and all comments are about perez.
Also WTF is thr Rihanna story saying? Its like it isn't even in english, are those sentences? What part is meant to be inteeresting?/funny?
24. CrunchPop - June 22, 2009 6:29 PM
Anonymous? Is that you?
25. phoring - June 22, 2009 7:59 PM
boring
26. Nero - June 22, 2009 8:38 PM
Waste of time folks! His 15 minutes are gone!
27. william - June 23, 2009 11:07 PM
i like what he says about kanye west making out with a dude
i saw it go down last year in monterrey, mx
i wish i would snapped a pic, but funny stuff
28. Robertoo - October 6, 2009 6:55 AM
Rihanna Full Home-made hot video i found here:
http://rihanna-sex-video.blogspot.com/?id=thesuperficial
U have to see it,really hot video!!!
29. blueyeswill - November 9, 2009 4:45 AM
what a crock of shit. leave her alone ffs, get on with your own silly pathetic lives. im sure there are a lot of YOU out there that film your own private sex lives, rihanna would not be the bad person in this scenario, but the person that leaked it. but it isnt real, you lot are so gullible! grow up!