May 18 2009Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt capture spirit of Cannes, by getting sh-tfaced
Since nothing goes together like fine cinema and Paris Hilton, the heiress spent Sunday night drunkenly making out with Doug Reinhardt while attending Cannes. That couldn't have ended well.
FILM GUY #1: Finally, after all our hard work, we have an actual, completed film that tomorrow morning we'll be showing at Cannes. Cannes, baby!
FILM GUY #2: We made it, old friend. Cheers!
FILM GUY #1: My life's dream has been to see my very own film on the big screen, and tomorr- *TSSSS* AHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES! WHAT'S HAPPENING?
FILM GUY #2: Paris Hilton is spread eagle doing shots on a table! Get down!
FILM GUY #1: I can't see! I'm blind! I'm blind! NOOOOOOO!
Film Guy #1 never regained his sight. While in the hospital, Film Guy #2 revealed he was really a gay astronaut who sold babies on the black market to finance their film. Because this is a story about Cannes and those movies always have really fucked up, depressing endings.
Fin.
Reader Comments
1. Vag - May 18, 2009 11:26 AM
First
2. Vag - May 18, 2009 11:26 AM
First
3. Delgo - May 18, 2009 11:29 AM
I love ya Fish, but that was corny.
4. Randal - May 18, 2009 11:33 AM
These are great shots of Paris enjoying love on the dance floor with her man and that energy pulls others around them to share smiles and laughs. Paris, keep spreading your warmth and sharing your heart with us. Your fans thanks you!
Randal
5. Vag - May 18, 2009 11:36 AM
Randall
you're a fucking douche!
6. Vag - May 18, 2009 11:37 AM
Randall
you're a fucking douche!
7. billabong021 - May 18, 2009 11:41 AM
Randall,
wtf are you a fan of? Paris hasn't done ANYTHING to be a fan of apart from spread STDs and use up valuable air.
8. RichPort's Ghost - May 18, 2009 11:53 AM
Dude, it's like you're kissing every cock that ever slid past her lips... gross...
9. Superbiggerevil - May 18, 2009 12:06 PM
There's a strong probability that Randall has INHALED every cock that's been slapped across his chin.
10. Assassin - May 18, 2009 12:06 PM
For the good of the race we must eliminate Randal.
11. Kirk - May 18, 2009 12:11 PM
If these two actually procreated, I would consider the human gene pool officially diluted beyond the point of no return.
12. nightfall - May 18, 2009 12:11 PM
I love how proud this guy is to be dating this mess of a human. They are just as bad as Heidi and Spencer ... I can't even imagine the drug resistant STDs that are brewing in their bodies
http://nightbringer101.mybrute.com
13. Melissa - May 18, 2009 12:13 PM
Dude's got a glass of chardonnay. Or he could really be gaying it up with Pinot Grigio. He loves the cock.
14. Melissa - May 18, 2009 12:17 PM
Funny... I didn't even read the other comments, yet there's a common factor: Paris and cock. You just can't pry apart destiny...
15. Meream - May 18, 2009 12:28 PM
But why are they in Cannes? Do they have anything important to do there? Oh yeah, I forgot, they are "public figures."
16. Krysten - May 18, 2009 12:35 PM
In the first pic Doug looks exactly like Mark Wahlberg
17. Mr. Jones - May 18, 2009 12:49 PM
#8
That is probably the only thing (besides the cash) that is keeping this guy in the relationship. He has to fantasize about something.
18. Ananana - May 18, 2009 1:11 PM
oh, and i seriously love the ÉROIX cap guy behind her xD
19. Ananana - May 18, 2009 1:13 PM
her dress is pretty. she's a whore.
20. RichPort's Ghost - May 18, 2009 1:30 PM
#17 - Good point... and EEEWWWWW...
#13 - HAHAHAHAHAHA
21. addled - May 18, 2009 1:31 PM
stop posting about these losers!
22. Carolyn - May 18, 2009 3:12 PM
In pix #5 looks like she's stomping a purse with her giant, too large for her feet shoes. What the hell is a Doug Reinhardt?
23. Emily - May 18, 2009 4:14 PM
I'm sorry, but is that a HAIR ELASTIC on Doug's wrist?
24. larrythecableguy - May 18, 2009 4:25 PM
This bitch is actually starting to make me physically sick to my stomach, Is there nothing anyone can do?
25. Galtacticus - May 18, 2009 5:27 PM
She acts like Tinker Bell is getting for the first time a kiss from Peter Pan!
26. Rhialto - May 18, 2009 5:33 PM
According to her mouthshots i think Peter Pan just had some delicious onions with garlic before.
27. Darth - May 18, 2009 5:41 PM
Light wining and dining.The dessert might be a bit heavy though.
28. vito - May 18, 2009 11:32 PM
Hey Vag--
How many posts is it going to take for you to get it through your head that you only have to click the "Post Your Comment" button once?
And you call Randal a fucking douche?
That being said: Randal, get back on your meds before you spontaneously combust!
29. cookie - May 19, 2009 2:13 AM
I am sexy, looking for some guy online for some fun. I created a profile on
*******SugarBabyMeet.COM********
where I write blogs, discuss with others in forum and upload my own video which I made. It is very fun there.
30. Narcissist - May 19, 2009 5:34 AM
Parisites parasite is looking needy again.
31. fun for all - May 19, 2009 7:23 AM
she wears dress pretty
click for more
32. Johnny Bravo - May 19, 2009 9:46 AM
EWWWWW GROSS !! I was eatin lunch and this what I had to see ????
33. Johnny Bravo - May 19, 2009 9:47 AM
There goes my appetite......There it is again !!!