May 7 2009Kiefer Sutherland charged with minor assault
Kiefer Sutherland is expected to surrender to prosecutors today where he'll be issued a desk appearance ticket for third degree assault. The charge is only a misdemeanor which means he won't be jailed and is free to drink all the way up to the arraignment where, God willing, he'll hump a bailiff. NY Daily News reports:
"Kiefer is sorry it happened. Absolutely. It's terribly regrettable," the friend said.
Still, the friend insisted Sutherland lashed out inside SubMercer because McCollough, a designer for Proenza Schouler, bumped into actress Brooke Shields and didn't apologize.
"Kiefer was provoked," the friend said.
Despite reports that Sutherland had skipped town, The News found him at his girlfriend's Greenwich Village apartment. Sutherland would not comment on the incident. "No, no," he said, before slamming the door shut.
Realizing he probably should've offered some form of comment, Kiefer Sutherland headbutted the NY Daily News building into the Hudson later that evening. This brought unspeakable joy to Post owner Rupert Murdoch who was then also headbutted because, fun fact, Jack Bauer is a Canadian socialist in real life.
I love exploding heads in the morning.
Photo: Splash News
Reader Comments
1. Shorty - May 7, 2009 10:10 AM
Frist !!
2. havoc - May 7, 2009 10:11 AM
Keep America Beautiful.
Headbutt a fashion designer.
.
3. RichPort's Ghost - May 7, 2009 10:18 AM
Yea right... like none of YOU have has ever gotten shit faced, slipped on the drink you spilled, and accidentally broke someone's nose... riiiiiiiight... just me and Kiefer... you judgemental fucks...
4. Janey - May 7, 2009 10:24 AM
I don't see the problem here. Did he pull out his wang and wave it around? Did he shove a beer bottle up his ass? Did he yakk up the contents of his stomach on a hot chick while eating her pussy? Nope, nada. Amateur.
5. Deva - May 7, 2009 10:27 AM
So he headbutted a homo fashion designer. Hopefully it knocked some sense into him/her to not be gay.
On the flipside: I think Keifer is taking his role as Jack Bauer too seriously.
6. Deva - May 7, 2009 10:29 AM
#3 right?
7. GuyHolly - May 7, 2009 10:36 AM
He thought he was trying out for the Canadians goon squad. Of course, his choice of a faggot tells me he's not very tough. He would have been more impressive if he had headbutted Brooke.
8. Objection sustained - May 7, 2009 10:37 AM
Keifer is saving America one headbutt at a time. I hope Robert Pattison is next.
9. Kevin - May 7, 2009 10:38 AM
This guy needs to go to rehab and get himself clean and sober rather than behaving as if he's above the law.
10. gabed - May 7, 2009 10:40 AM
he got what he deserved for not setting up a perimeter and avoiding eye contact while kiefer was telling him that "he was gonna have to trust him"
11. the world according to ROUGH! - May 7, 2009 10:47 AM
Keifer seems like a docile guy, away from the bar! To be saved, the judge needs to bestow the options between acting and drinking...I know what im wagering on!
12. the Commish - May 7, 2009 10:55 AM
FAIL!! This post fails on so many levels. Who the hell cares!?
This is just like that time when a kid kept asking for a pony for their birthday. Every year, there would never be a pony. Eventually, the kid's parents felt bad that there was no pony so they compromised and got the kid a hamster. The kid named the hamster Kiefer. It was great.
13. RichPort's Ghost - May 7, 2009 10:58 AM
Beer muscles... beer forehead...
14. 1 MILF Hunter - May 7, 2009 10:59 AM
I can't wait for the trial when he asks the judge, "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR!!!??? I WANT TO KNOW NOW!!!!"
15. stu - May 7, 2009 11:28 AM
fashion designers are terrorist. Keifer was just doing his job in protecting America. he should be awarded a medal not dragged up in front of a judge
16. Vince Lombardi - May 7, 2009 1:02 PM
Sutherland should be sentenced to watch this season's "24." It's nearly unwatchable.
17. monty - May 7, 2009 1:11 PM
damn he's got a tall head... is it from all the headbutting?
18. Photoshop Police - May 7, 2009 1:26 PM
Um... doesn't this violate his parole?
19. red sparrow - May 7, 2009 10:28 PM
So bumping into someone who isn't Kiefer Sutherland = provoking Kiefer Sutherland.
Someone should headbutt that pompous cock right back up into his mother's uterus.
20. Fun Online - May 8, 2009 12:42 AM
right
21. gerard vandenberg - May 8, 2009 1:18 AM
.....................................SMOKING, folks?
22. eiluxury - September 22, 2009 9:25 PM
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