May 29 2009Keanu Reeves has secret Canadian love-children?

in that hat, Keanu looks like he's a secret Canadian hobo.

He looks like he has terrible b.o.

Those crazy Canadians, with their lawsuits and their boringness.

good luck with that, Sala. And if that falls through, the NBA finals are almost over so you'll have another good crop of rich celeb man-whores to choose from.

Was he like 14 when he had them? How old is he?

See??? This is what universal heathcare results in - AND OBAMA WANTS TO FORCE IT ON US!!! UGH!!! UGH!!! STOP HIM!!! STOP HIM!!! I'M HAVING ANOTHER CONNIPTION!!!

NO WAY!!

NO WAY!!!

@ #3.

Hey Andy, I'm Canadian. How about one of us "crazy Canadians" fist fuck your face. Would you find that boring?

Oh look, I got one of the pasty white fatsos all worked up...

See what you look like when you rely on socialized medicine?

He lives in L.A. and New York, so he only has access to the best street drugs, not to socialized medicine.

@ 9

Why don't you, your pasty, flabby behind and Pamela Anderson just leave...go on...GIT!!!

1) Reeves looks like something out of a Dr. Seuss book.

2) Sounds like this woman wasn't quite the "excellent adventure" Ted was looking for.

Im no math whiz (but clearly have enough time on my hands to work this out) but is she really asking for nearly 130 million? I know people shoot for the moon in these type of law suits but I would be shocked if Keanu made more than half that much in his "esteemed' career.

Yes way Ted!!

That is crazy if they can come after him now for support. If she was married and raised them as another mans children, what she is doing now is wrong. She is only out for money!!!!!!

Andy you are a retard AND you are probably fat

actually Im retarded, he made over $100 mil on the shitty matrix movies alone

Jebus. Are there any women who aren't total fucking money grubbing whores? Here's a novel idea... get a job & work you worthless leg spreading scab.

Canadians. Lying on the couch, watching hockey, drinking beer, depending on the government to take care of them. No wonder this one believes she's entitled to money she doesn't deserve. The whole country is one big tub of bargain-brand vanilla ice cream.

@ USA and Andy,

Has there ever been a war that you fuckin losers have ever won?

Ans: No

I thought so!

Both of you can go fuck yourselves!

Canadians don't have to worry about wars because nobody wants their shitty featureless land (or the shitty featureless people who live there).

Canadians are the end pieces of a loaf of stale white bread.

@23.... umm, actually, Jim, the hookers in Vancouver have OUTSTANDING features

For curiosity's sake, I did some math (math hurts your brain. you're welcome).

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure came out in 1989, when Keanu was 25.
That was 20 frickin' years ago.

If he fathered any of those kids, it happened BEFORE that movie even came out.
So if he made any of these kids related to his fame, it would probably be the youngest, probably having met the woman while Dangerous Liasons was in the theatres. He was barely famous then.

NO SOUP FOR YOU, CANADIAN HO-BAG! (mmmm...soup)

I want Clark Gable's DNA tested to see if I am his son.

The only interesting and sophisticated part of Canada is actually part of France (Quebec). And even then it's only interesting because you can watch French snobs pretending they're in Paris while living in a shithole country.

@22 - Pick up a history book.
Also, you should read it instead of bashing your thick forehead into it repeatedly until the wordy things stick good. List some memorable Canadian wars for me again?

p.s. - I don't have a problem with Canada; it has just as many a-holes in it as the US.

It's hypocritical for AMERICANS to be calling ANYone else 'fatsos'.

It's also hypocritical to call Canadians 'entitled' and sue happy when that is yet another astounding quality that American's are known for.

Get over yourselves. you can keep your crappy Keanu acting and we'll keep our disgusting Pamela Anderson

PS Hockey kicks ass and baseball is boring and lame.

@22 Um, yeah... right... and the Canadian army is still on horseback, what's your point..?

It's quite a challenge to make a second-world country out of a population that's overwhelmingly white. Nicely done, Canada.

Is that the Sorting Hat from Harry Potter?

I love the only retort Canada ever plays...Hockey rules. When was the last time a fucking Canadian (sorry I forgot you fags spell it Canadienne) team won the cup? Not in any of our lifetime, nice try Canada....Americas hat.

@34 Be nice...... they act as an awesome polar bear buffer.

@ 22

Ha! Wow that's rich!!

By the way I hate Canadian Bacon...otherwise known as Pamela Anderson...

bogus..

Why do rich guys dress and groom themselves like they live in a dumpster behind a Walmart? What the fuck Keanu.

I'm his son, too! I highly resemble daddy.. and by 'highly resemble' I mean I have legs, too. TWO of them! People usually stare at me and go like "OMG is that Keanu Reeves?!" (they speak portuguese here but nvm)

I'm also Christopher Reeve's son, 'cause my favorite pickup line with teenage girls is "Hi, I'm superman, wanna hang in my super-van?". If they don't believe me, they're too old. It's a great triage method!

@38 - My cock, you have no sense of fashion, at all.

I could get all worked up about all these Anti-Canadian comments and get my compatriots to burn down the White House (again) but I'd rather do Andy's dumbass Mom (doggystyle, cause I'm watching the playoffs, eh) just so that in 20 years Andy will find out he has a Canadian brother.

Um, why are you all overlooking the fact that Keanu is a raging homo and has never boinked a woman in his life. In fact, I think that will be his main line of defense in this case.
KLTC.

i wish he was *my* daddy..................

Ummm wtf happened to him? Oh yeah, age.

Firstly, I have been dragged through the unjust family court system of Barrie, Ontario and know first hand what tyranny they can wield against an innocent man. Secondly, it is law here in Ontario that if he was the father, she could only get 3 years retroactive on the child support and spousal support (Good luck though on that!)

Thirdly (and most importantly at all) this woman is definitely delusional, bipolar, schizophrenic or most likely all three!

Would somebody please get in touch with the ultimate gold digger, Heather Mills and borrow her artificial leg to beat this woman over the head with it until she stops her gold digging ways!

@ 29

Did you forget the war of 1812! Thats the one where we kicked your ass!

Must be super GAY drunk cuz I'd hit it

w/e hes still hot.

Leave Canadians alone! I like Canadians. There aren't that many in England but the ones that are here are friendly.

Wow...sounds like Maury material.

@50 - That's what I thought of. "I back fo da 275th time to finds out who is my baby daddy be!".

Why do Americans believe so many lies? So many people from the USA are ignorant and make fools of themselves when talking about healthcare and Canadians....it's really embarrassing.

do not panic: IN THE MONTREAL-SUROUNDING ARE ENOUGH FAGGOTS FOR SALE, folks!!

Fifty-fourth.

oh, no, he is not my man...I came across an online community for individual seeking interracial love. It is blackwhitemeet.com All singles there are seeking interracial relationships. Interracial is not a problem there, but a great merit to cherish!

Has he been sending her secret signals in his movies, too? Because if she can prove that, she's got it made.

"Canada-The Retarded Giant on our Doorstep!"

Is this woman sane?

If this is true then she late with asking child support! Weird! I don't think she get far with this.

Yeah, why ask for support now? Fishy.

@22... Vimy Ridge... look it up France, Britain, and USA all failed to take it from the Germans, Canada took it in 12 hours. Viet Nam, Afghanistan, Iraq, epic fail. +in the war of 1812 Canada defeated the states and set the white house on fire... in fact, the white house is white because the yanks painted it white to cover the burns from Canada burning it down...
canadian soldiers = the most feared in combat by the germans in WW1 and WW2.
read a book.

@ 23:

The Americans tried to take it and failed during the war of 1812.

@ 28:

Quebec is not part of France. It is part of Canada.

I'm really sick of the bashing going on from both sides. I consider both countries to be very similar in culture, and they both have their pros and cons.

Do any of you seriously think most Canadians are fat, drinking beer and watching hockey right now? Sure, some of them are, but some people of every country are. I tend to associate with more sophisticated people, so I personally don't know anybody like that. But, I enjoy being in Canada and knowing Canadian people. And I also enjoy being in the US and knowing American people. Can't you all be a little more open-minded? What are you saying about your own country's people by being rude to others?

This is the reason you INSIST on anal!

My classy, classy friends south of the border, thank you so much for making me laugh.

I particularly enjoyed #34's "Canadienne" reference. Because apparently we are unfamiliar with the spelling of the English language.

And with that, I will bid you a "farewell", oh wait, I think in Canada we actually spell it: "adieu"... or do we?? Let me try something else: "Good night", no wait, I spelled that wrong too! I think I should have spelled that as "bonne nuit" ... or??? ... Oh, I'm so confused... Am I in Canada or did I somehow end up in France?? Ooops, turns out I'm only in Quebec, or maybe just stuck in middle-school French class.

Damn you to hell Quebec, and damn you to French class, damn you for confusing the American nation... how could you?

Now if you'll excuse I must be on my way, I'm joining the army. I've always wanted to learn how to ride a horse. LOL!

This is so laughable! That woman sounds delusional and so twisted. She's a money grubbing BIOTCH out for his money. Spousal support? You've got to be kidding. They weren't even married!

This is so laughable! That woman sounds delusional and so twisted. She's a money grubbing BIOTCH out for his money. Spousal support? You've got to be kidding. They weren't even married!

- Canada can keep Michael J. Fox (yes, Marty McFly is Canadian), and America can keep Keanu Reeves.

- Canada can keep Rachel McAdams, and America can keep Tara Reid (hiccup and fall down).

- Canada can keep it's English and French languages and embrace it's (legally) mulicultural diversity, and America can keep it's English and Spanish languages and continue to embrace it's racial slurrs (and illegal immigrants - - it's the patriotic thing to do.)

Three words to describe this woman... GOLD DIGGER BIOTCH

Three words to describe this woman... GOLD DIGGER BIOTCH

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don't be talkin poo about canadians eh? this could have easily been the other way around

All she wants is closure. AND FIFTEEN FUCKING MILLION DOLLARS!!! (i did the math)

When did Keanu get into Hogwarts?

Well i hope its not true for his sake, but the lady should have come forward about this a long time ago not now. I hope its not true.

Well i hope its not true for his sake, but the lady should have come forward about this a long time ago not now. I hope its not true.

nonscense :D

It would have been nice for him to have children, or grown children! But if true, that would make him like his own Dad whom he said abandoned him. KARMA for not realizing early that he may be worse than his Dad when it comes to taking care of his own child - given the same situation as his Dad's and not as rich actor who can provide well - and maybe should have forgiven his own Dad along time ago even if they still don't get along.

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