May 10 2009Jessica Simpson should never do this again

Not that bad!

omg first!!! this week its gonna be great!!! she sucks!!

What's with the red lower legs? Has she been stomping grapes?

she has a good, sexy boddy. but a retarded monkey could get dressed in the dark and come out with a more flattering outfit

@2 your gay get over it

i would still do her

ewww shes so fat.

#5 Andy, if you'd do her that doesn't prove you're straight. It means you have a fetish for my grandma's sofa cushions.

She's great.

She needs to give up the daisy dukes already. A nice pantsuit or dress would be much more flattering for her figure.

#7 Is that the vest thing that's hanging down? it's like a bad home-ec recycling project and it looks like ass. I can't get over the too short platforms with her toes poking out over the edge. She has NOOOOO taste!

She still looks WAY better than most people I come across on any given day. Lovely Legs!!!!

just look at her belly!!! shes pregnant !!!

#12 -- you called it! Pics #1 & #2 have the emerging pregnancy curve shadow....

OH.. the red on her legs is from a fucked up spot light system. She really needs to shut up and get naked.

You can actually see on some of these pics here that she loves that warm and moist feeling in her lower stomach.

People shouldn't put her down just because she's getting obese with age.

I don't get it. She's so capable of looking gorgeous, and yet it looks like she's going out of her way to make herself look fat & dumpy. She truly does have an awful sense of fashion. Ugh

Oh for Christ sake what is that? That top pic is so unflattering, Pretty soon we wont be able to make the distinction between Daisy Duke and LULU....

She's lost it. Desperado.

Why the fuck is every other word in these posts double underlined? KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF, FISH!!

Looks like a spastic duck.

She's very attractive and fairly talented... What she needs to do is fire EVERYONE and start with a new staff! Britney Spears looks better!!!

MAN LEGS!!!!!!!!!!!

She doesn't quite have Beyonce beat, but almost. Take away her square hips, pregnant gut, and man legs she'd be hot!!

Oh well...

MAN LEGS!!!!!!!!!!!

She doesn't quite have Beyonce beat, but almost. Take away her square hips, pregnant gut, and man legs she'd be hot!!

Oh well...

Fugly man face, looks like a total retard in these pics. Just zero sex appeal.

#20 It's called in-text advertising, but way to take your anger about it to a whole new level.

Compared to normal people, she looks good -- then again, normal people don't wear daisy dukes if they could stand to lose a few. She needs a reality check.

It looks like she's just parodying her parody in the Eminem music video.

she is cute. A little bit too old to be wearing that

I want to beat her with those shoes.

She has diarrhea.

is she preggo?

Two words describe Jessica. Sexy & gorgeous!!

I'd hit it so hard I'd need to use a sick day to keep it going the next day

Cookies all day and cake all night makes you look like Jessica Simpson , Shake that GUT Jessica . If she keeps shaking like that she'll get a belly button that has popped out. Then on cold days she can put a beer koozie on it to keep warm.

Eww my eyes....

There's nothing I wouldnt do to jessica! what a bod!

The photoshop crew at Vanity Fair is really skilled. They were able to make this pot bellied pig look human on last week's cover.

someone please tell her she needs to lay off the daisy dukes already...jeez.

Seeing as half of the women in this country are sadly busting out of their size 14/16 jeans I'd say Jessica's looking pretty decent. Granted she's put on a little weight but I'd take looking like this over looking like 75% of the women I see walking down the street everyday.

She's obviously pregnant and hasn't confirmed it with the press yet. Her shoe line is amazing. I will forever love her for her line of shoes if nothing else.

Jessica is not the only woman in the world with a weight problem, but she is the only woman with a weight problem that I know of, that crams her lard into too small short shorts, flashes her blubbery belly, and props her stubby man legs up on ridiculous looking platform shoes and goes out on stage, hoping to be taken seriously as a singer.

She needs to cover up her figure flaws, not assault audiences with them. Is she trying to punish people for not buying her crappy album by forcing them to look at her lard?

Whatever it is, if it has Jessica Simpson's name on it, I won't buy it.

awesome

for more click on my name

awesome

for more click on my name

flat as a board ass..ugly clothes, retarded facial expressions, uncoordinated..esp the first pic with the duck feet thing shes doin..double chin..shoes that dont fit...one redeeming quality, her face is still kinda cute. so if i could id say to her, dont try to dance EVER, grow your hair out a little more, stop with the streetwalker-redneck-grandma clothes and put on some jeans and a tight tee shirt. prob solved.

She is still hesatating about a career as STAND UP-COMEDIAN, folks!!

Pretty smokin' in pic 6.
I'd tap it, minus the chin. The chin's gotta go.

That girl is preggers. She done knocked herself up.

Well, at least she actually sings in concert, unlike the rest of these pop-retards that cant sing a real note to save their lives. With that being said, Jessica needs to stop dressing like she's 20lbs lighter then she is...

REAL GIRLS EAT MEAT? remember her shirt statement

well looks like that just hit her hard ...karma is a bitch lol

vegetarian women are the sexiest, they don't age nearly as bad or get soo sloppy fat fast unless they try to

@#50 Teddy....you forgot to mention that vegan chicks smell like rotten broccoli after they fart or quife (>o<)

This is wrong on so many levels. She used to be hot & now...this? Her shoes are ill-fitting and look cheap, her shorts are obviously way too short & that hideous vest-like thing is an eyesore. And speaking of the beached whale she's morphed into, the saddest part of it is that she's fat but has a flat ass. Sad.

If you don't want to hit that, you are either gay or have a small penis.

#53 Or good taste.

May I please fuck your tight, self-lubricated vagina hole?

short stubby tree trunk legs. i have seen a lot worse in my time, but her legs could do with being somewhat skinnier before they should be displayed in those little shorts - even if they are reasonably toned and tanned.

@ 53 i'm am totally gay and have a very small penis

Holy Fucking God. She must be trying to overshadow Brits VMA disaster. Just put some more clothes on Jessica.

@50 - It's "REAL GIRLS EAT THEIR FEELINGS" now. Point me in Carrie Underwoods direction, please.

Pregnant. What was going on last September? Severe constipation?
http://thesuperficial.com/2008/09/jessica_simpsons_cleavage_ange.php

I think she looks hot.

Still out of my league.

Curses.

#60 Matt, if you look anything like a nacho with a side of guacamole, you'll score.

Jessica.......I wonder how she taste like. She looks like she taste good though

She is so tall and sexy. I know a place you can date with such sexy girls.
*** Seekingtall.c o m *** which I have joined.­ I think it is interesting and you will like it.

she is adorable, beautiful and very cute stop saying she's fat cause i bet you'll there looking like a baloon

she is adorable, beautiful and very cute stop saying she's fat cause i bet you'll there looking like a baloon

If she lived next door to me, and she wasn't Jessica Simpson, I'd spend my days peeking through the curtains at her while stroking my johnson. She's damn pretty by everyday standards! OK, by Hollywood standards she's a cow, but what the fuck?

she is an avarage girl. Still, avarage girls they don't have bunch of money, trainers, staff, dietologists.
If she can't look better then my hairdresser she need to take a kick in her fat ass and get a real job (hint: pr0n).

Nothing really wrong with the way she looks. Her music is her music--like it or hate it.

My only gripe is that in June's Vanity Fair issue they clearly photoshopped the hell out of her to make her look thin again. Chances are its the magazine's call to do it but it really blatant lie to people.

One bad pic of the bunch....get real. She's fucking hot.

shes still a pretty girl! great legs, obviously hiding her assets with that white rag! I can see she has done tons of cardio but hate crunches...She needs to find a set of ab exercise that she likes and stick to it! The Dallas cowboys are depending on this JESS!

NOW these pics should've been photoshopped like her vanity fair shoot.This is totally disgusting and the days of a sexy jessica Simpson are long gone.

What a mistake for the Vanity Fair issue to come out and for her to perform in public looking like that;it only proves that the mag photoshopped everything{for those that had doubts}

Didnt you forget "squat as if you are about to poo and wear platform shoesthat are two sizes too small, so that your big toe curls up just like a cute lil Keebler elf."

Didnt you forget "squat as if you are about to poo and wear platform shoesthat are two sizes too small, so that your big toe curls up just like a cute lil Keebler elf."

Truffle shuffle much?

I wouldn't mind those legs squeezing my head until my eyeballs popped out.

Rednecks love her because she's got that fat, stupid, hillbilly mommy look.

Worse job in America: playing backup in Jessica Simpsons' band.

and there is everything that is wrong with our country.... We are Messed UP

I don't know what you folks are whining about, but she looks good. I certainly wouldn't pass up the chance to hit it.

I think I need to finally give in and hit that ass.

#71 No kidding, that cover is VF's biggest joke since Miley Cyrus. It's a US/People cover at best and it's months too late. Photoshopping almost every single wrinkle off her dress (especially the bottom) is stupid and obvious - nobody's clothes fit like that. So is trimming her arms. You can see the real thing here - and they sure don't match the shopped ones on the cover. She looks like hammered shit dressed out of a Seattle Salvation Army grab bag.

Why doesnt she just admit she'spreggers already ..... jesus.

Somewhere ; Howard Dean is smiling.......

Looks like a scene with a milf on stage in a karaoke bar in the province.

What's with the vest? It looks like part of Bea Arthur's (RIP Bea) wardrobe left from The Golden Girls.

What's with the vest? It looks like she took Bea Arthur's (RIP Bea) wardrobe from the set of The Golden Girls.

You ever hear of those women who give birth in a mall bathroom and leave the baby there and then once they've been caught they say they had no idea they were pregnant?

Ever wonder what kind of woman could be that dumb?

Well.....now you know!

wow, that's some bad dancing. poor girl.

Maybe she thinks her ankles are sexy.

SHE IS PREGNANT.

I mean, I know blondes are dumb, but does *SHE* know she's pregnant? Because I do. Me, and everyone else with brain that sees those shots. She's about 4-5 months along.

Her gut is disgusting, and it's beyond hysterical to me that her P.R. team are trying to spin her new Vanity Fair expose as if she's lost weight. Tony Romo needs to DUMP the Miss Piggy aka J. SImpson, and she should marry and airbrush artisist. OR do us all a favor, get out of the spotlight and eat the chicken fried steak, funnel cakes you want.
Whatever happened to the trainer from The Dukes of Hazzards? WHy doesn't Papa Joe just rehire him to do something about that gut? Her gluttony will be the bane of her career if something isn't done and FAST.
At least Daddy will always love her.

pic 9: she looks like that weird chick from "strangers with candy."

She looks fine in some photos, but her thighs look 50% bigger head-on when she is standing straight. I have the same problem. :(

i am embarrassed for her. bitch doesn't have a clue.

I think Jessica is gorgeous. Her legs are very nice too.

Her outfits are very poor but who cares about fashion except faggots? I prefer to think of her naked or in that bikini from the Dukes movie, yum.

I would love to go medieval on that ass...

You know what I hate more than the way she is dancing? The fact that someone would think that people from the south would wear whatever it is she is wearing. I wouldn't wear that to a dog fight. It is horrible!

I bet she looks really hot when she's getting tit-fucked.

People who think fashion is only for "faggots" seriously need a reality check. Even if you're not in the industry or you don't pay much attention to it, there's no denying that her outfit is an abomination, just like that blatant lie of a V.F. photo shoot & her gut.

Forget the dancing, forget the weird gut thing.... HER SHOES ARE PAINTED ON.

i cant believe no one has said anything about pic #9... 3rd row, 1st pic. her mouth is doing something magical to the mic...

Nasty ho, no talent hack. she is gross and makes stupid facial expressions all the time. She should get her ged and go away

i want to eat jessica's pussy

nice gut...........i'm willing to bet she's the worst fuck since paris "answering my cellphone while getting fucked by a big dick" hilton, horrendous..........seriously, how do her various male partners deal with her dumb as a fucking rock personality ?

For some reason, looking at pic #9 all I can think is "Eustace?? EUSTACE? DID YOU PICK UP THE DRY CLEANING?"

the red lighting makes her look like she got a skin disease

For some reason, looking at pic #9 all I can think is "Eustace?? EUSTACE? DID YOU PICK UP THE DRY CLEANING?"

Sorry for the double post, fucking computer.

pic 15 looks way better than other ones so she's not so fat it's only a problem of dressing well!

It's just a really bad angle combined with an unflattering outfit. The girl is GORGEOUS and most people aren't as fit as her. If she were the girl next door, people would be lusting over her and calling her flawless. Her stomach looks big in that one picture but it's obviously pushed forward from that unfortunate dance move. She's not fat; she's hot!!

gee i thought carny wilson went blonde

Well, I agree that the belly could be camouflaged a lot better if it weren't on display in these lousy, no pizzaz clothes. My eyes immediately went, however, to the butt, which was SO on display during the "Dukes of Hazzard" days a few years back. If you recall, there was ALOT of flap back then about that booty not being hers, and alot of "before/after" photos to prove it. Well, I have to tell you that THIS picture only proves it, yet again, that the "Daisy Duke" butt in that car wash scene was NOT hers . . . it was padding, and I DON'T mean her own! Funny how these celebrities just CANNOT admit how fake they really are. It sure does make us everyday girls feel alot better, although she's certainly still pretty and overall physically fit. Let's hope her wardrobe gets that way, too!

I like her second chin. Kind of makes her look like the lady at Fat Boy Burgers.