May 12 2009Heidi Montag will do well in porn

I hate you so much right now.

this fucking sucks.

god, she sucks.

I made it 1 minute 27 seconds. World record for actually listening to a Heidi Montag video.

Thanks for that asshole, that lunch was expensive! Now you clean up the freaking mess!

That sucked - what is with that huge chin.

Hey Superficial Writer. Why the hell did you have to fucking buy into that ad that links words within your typing. I hate all these blue words that are double underlined. *tear I keep accidently clicking them....oh you jerk. I hope you are rich because your fucking page - albeit better than working - is fucking LOADED DOWN with advertisements. :(

I think I would hate her less if she would actually try to make these videos good. God, that hurt my ears.

Doom the harvest :D

i had to watch this on mute because i'm at work...
and i fast forwarded it a whole bunch...

tell me, did i really miss anything?

she is such a fucking loser, it's painful.

Wow. I was only able to take 26 seconds of that. With the sound off.

her body looks amazing. stop hating.

As long as I mute the music and try not to look at her face, man she is sexy!

made it about a minute in with the sound off. did it give anyone else motion sickness?

This is the WORST "MUSIC" EVER.

I listened to about ten seconds, fast forwarded, it was even worse. I happened to stop at 1:30. Take a look at that point and if you still don't see porn, there is something wrong with you.

I'm glad I have no sound here at work.

I enjoyed it thoroughly without sound.

I guess in real life she needs tube steak to keep her hushed.

Tsk tsk. They never give up do they?

I wonder what her husband thinks about all this....

The timing is all off. Not the song - that's what "mute" is for - but here on this site. You can't send out the Sodomy Signal to mobilize all the homos in the last story and then ask them to appreciate a nice bikini body in the very next story - their rage only deepens, as it taps into humiliations from the teenage years. You have to understand, that's where the whole "I demand that you say WE'RE NORMAL!" drive comes from, or otherwise it seems, you know, abnormal.

Brilliant Direction. Cut to close up, cut to close up, cut to close up, cut to close up cut to close up, not to mention the location scouting, pool on a beach(?), piece of rope, hammock. The cut to black was unexpected and thrilling, back to hammock.
Gold.

Heidi and Spencer > Andy Kaufman.

that song licks cows' cunt. Follow the above advice and listen without sound off.

Yes, the music sucks and this girl can't sing.

Let's be honest though: neither can Britney and she's hugely famous (and famously huge). Let's just hope old horse face here never gets together with some really good marketing people, song writers, and choreographers or we're doomed to see her everywhere.

She is a no-talent assclown.

Did Spencer direct this?

Horrible.
When will these people just die and get it over with?

Its no surprise to me at all that this sucks. Everything Heidi Montag does sucks. We have all yet to see what her talent actually is...not acting, not singing, not dancing...

thats it.... you officially owe me porn

OWE ME

YOU HEAR ME.

...OWE

WHERE IS IT...

PORN ...NOW!

Did Spencer film this?..... God.

Greatest music visionary since Paris Hilton..

she must have fleas, or lice...she's constantly grabbing her head.

she must have fleas, or lice...she's constantly grabbing her head.

she must have fleas...or lice...she's constantly grabbing her head...

The video is basically a movie o' boobies. As for the song, it's not Music with a capital M, but sounds like something I might not mind listening to on a summer day, driving down the street in my car. Kinda Samantha Foxish meets Britney. Sometimes, I like airhead music... and Heidi is an airhead.

My head hurts. Possibly the worst song ever, and the video made me dizzy.

BURN them out of my head! Why oh why is this skank famous?

I'm thinking that she will go porno soon which is why she always has her mouth wide open in photos...practice, practice.

Stop with the hating - she's no worse than most of the crap you hear on the radio, and better than some of it. Great body, did you want long establishing shots of the setting? There's no reason why she can't be a pop star if Britney et al can do it. She's better looking at least, giant chin notwithstanding.

She is hot!!

I made it to 56 seconds. What do I win???

....... what do you mean she's no worse than most of the crap on the radio??? This is THE FUCKING WORST THING I"VE EVER SEEN!! I honestly feel that it is intended as a joke. a fucking joke!!!!!!! Who jams out to this shit!?! NOBODY!! It's complete garbage, she has a nice body and that is the only good thing about this disgusting waste of time!!! fuck her and her hideous husband, he literally creeps me out... to look at him makes my stomach queasy!! oh my god i want to stab my fucking eyes out and then slap myself for even watching 10 seconds of this lamesauce!! that is all.

Yet another conservative religious fascist who acts like a complete whore!

Plus...and let's get real now...she's a girl with a body I'm supposed to get an erection from, and I just don't and it's not right that people made fun of me for being that way. Spencer, on the other hand...if he was wearing a thong and crawling backwards toward me on the rug...YUMMY!

So I hate her! For, uh, her beliefs. Yeah, that's it. Her beliefs.

OMG you made my ears bleed! Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Her super long man face always amuses me

i wish girls would stop thinking they can sing because they aren't fat

Spencer needs to get his money back from his "how to make a music video" from the Learning Anex

I hate to say this but I would bang Heidi McChinnychinchin

she looks like a horse.... thats even worse than paris hiltons attempt at a pop career..... hopefully she doesnt release anymore!!!!!!!!

HOW DO THESE PEOPLE BECOME FAMOUS????

Who the hell in America likes this shit? I know that sociologists talk ad nauseum about the dumbing down of America, but now I believe it. This video, and this pathetic moron with an inflated sense of importance, officially marks the end of intelligent life in the U.S. (although, staggeringly, she probably has fans in Europe and Canada, too).

I hold the media responsible: no one knew who this pathogen was until every media outlet started telling us she was worth reporting on.

Montag is the harbinger of a doomed culture.

Hey there Heidi! Thanks for making this for your fans. Just wanted to take the time to say you created a deadly back beat which blend in so well with your voice.

Keep climbing the charts lovely!

Randal

Wow...turned the sound off after 3 seconds and felt like I was about to get caught watching porn...the real star of the video are her boobs, they actually cut Heidi's head from at least 3 shots...but I have to admit my favorite part is when she gets her ass out of the pool to make sure we can have a good look at it...Poor girl. '' Hey honey, what could we do on this beautiful honeymoon vacation day?? - I know, let's shoot another crappy video of me in a bikini! ''

Ha ha... I love how she tries to be all Christian and then goes out and does this. And for everyone who admits she has a hot body: would you really think so after you take away the spray-on tan and the bolted on fake breasts? Didn't think so.

And don't even get me started on that chin. Come to think of it, don't even get me started on that complete waste of space.

Looks like they were offered a Director and crew but Spencer decided to film it all on his phone instead so they could spend the money paying Paps to actually take notice of them. Such a vapid pair of miscreants worth less than a hobo's home, and thats saying something. I'm from the UK and i get to hear about Jordan (Katie Price) every damn day

she sounds like she has a mentally retarded lisp.

Sad that she was so neglected as a child she feels the need to make up for it now by vomitting all over John and Jane Q public. Ugh! She needs help...psychiatric and vocal!!

I'm pretty sure this was a softcore porn plot line from the mid 90's. I have a little vocal warm-up for her too. "Now Heidi, close your eyes and open your mouth wide. BOILING WATER!" Get your head out of the gutter. She would give terrible head anyway. That's why I go straight to anal. She has a great ass.

What the fuck this shit is so fucking dumb I hope she really doesnt think that this video is great it is cheap and dumb and by post shit about her you are making the cunt famous and trust me she has no talent what so ever quit posting shit about her she sucks balls and so does ugly spencer

What the fuck this shit is so fucking dumb I hope she really doesnt think that this video is great it is cheap and dumb and by post shit about her you are making the cunt famous and trust me she has no talent what so ever quit posting shit about her she sucks balls and so does ugly spencer

What a fucking shitty music video. Does she have any bottom teeth, or does she just have a giant row of top teeth and a massive chin?

My eardrums are still popping but the look at the sunny beach and water make it up!

she is a disgrace to women and I am embarrassed for her. sick.

Wow. She is so talented.

Dear Superficial writer,

I was only able to hear about 70 seconds of it. After which I drove an ice pick into my ear and them broke a thermometer and poured the mercury into the bleeding wound. I then prayed to God himself and asked Him is this is what Jesus died for? If the answer to that is YES, then I cannot see Hell being any worse than that 70 seconds of my life. I will never forgive you for posting this video and may God have mercy on your soul!

P.S. I also asked God to have the space shuttle crash on Spencer Pratt.

Yours truly,
TehDevil

#44: You misspelled that last word. It should be "Anus."

I could only take the "music" for about 15 seconds, but I'm pretty sure I recognize the song from a game of Simon my nephew played the other day. Milton Bradley could probably sue them.

3:08 is by far the best part

MAKE HER STOP!!!! NOW!!!!

#29, hahaha

I think the headline says it all. Good job Superficial writer.

I'll be glad when sex isn't used to sell everything besides air fresheners. (Glade executives have a lightbulb moment).

comment #45 - hahahaha

WOW.terrible. does she really think she looks good? awful.

that SUKD so BAD

butterface.

wow. the pose gyrating on that rope was exceptionally cheesy. god the cheese never fucking ends with these two, they are always looking to prove SOMETHING (what that is, i am unsure of).
yeah you can pull off a hot body, have a perfect plastic face and plastic tits, but you will never ever fucking be respected. whatever

i played this and my cat suddenly woke up from her nap and starting attacking my computer, seriously bad shit.

I made it ten seconds in...then my eyes tried to escape my face...

Is this a fucking joke?

Dude that sucked so much ass.

It looked like it was shot with a bulky shoulder mounted video recorder from the late 80's.

I wonder who has the balls to air this little gem? Maybe MTV will, I heard they don't play music anymore so this will fit right in.

I miss her old titties.
What?

Jesus Fucking Christ on a pogo stick, is that ever lame. I could only do 33 seconds; I'd sooner listen to two hours of Yoko Ono than thirty more seconds of that shit. Who would ever buy this stuff?

Spencer's shadow makes an appearance... what a fantastic director.

I don't think these two want fans, I think they just want people to look at them. I just hope that nobody beyond the Hills producers takes them seriously.

Insufferably pain. I hate her.

Insufferable pain. I hate her.

@61 You is funny!

That was rough to watch.

i'm still shocked she could afford horribly fake looking boobs, but not have enough to fix that massive chin

This video would be a lot better if someone handed her a grenade and she exploded. She's a total loser.

I'd have to vote this the most boring video ever.

hot gal
for more fun and sexy gals wallpapers click on name

her and squirrel boy are a lot like iraqi insurgents, they arent very good at what they do but dont really give up.

Seriously, who decided that these two posterchildren for a womans right to choose need to be relevant?

#83, the chin work is on K-Mart layaway until the big record contract lands...judging by the size of the chin, Dr Rey is gonna have his work cut out for hiiim!

I made it as far as the first couple of words from her mouth, then realized she was going to sing instead of doing oral.

Please stop reporting on this piece of shit !!!! you (the superficial) say you can't stand her and yet you continue to report on this shit for brains no talent whore. unless you get nude pics stop reporting. start a revolution and surely other goss sites will stop and eventually we won't have to her about her again!!!!

please,
John McDuff
(Aotearoa)

1-2-3-4

Reminds me of The Knife's Heartbeats, but still doesnt make it good, only proper use for her CD would in skeet shooting ...

ROFL, her boobs are so fake and laughable, they look like basketballs. And that so called music video was the stupidest thing ever. Anyone can pick up a cheapo camera, put on a skimpy bathing suit and writhe around like they just swallowed a capsule of cyanide. Good luck with your joke of a laugh Heidi and Spencer, may your marriage last a thousand years so you don't infect other people with your stupidity and your desperate selves.

I meant "...joke of a life".

#29 - brilliant!

anyway, she looks like a teenager trying out her sexy poses in front of a bedroom mirror. she needs some original moves.

ps - arent we dont with the blonde clones by now? hopefully this chick's the last to jump on that brainless bandwagon

3:09

seriously?
i mean... seriously?

she is just ...such a bad person at life.

Oh, that's absolutely horrible. What's wrong with her??

ugly face and voice

Will you install a mute button please?

Such a waste of space and air these two... You really shouldn't have posted this; THIS IS NOT FUNNY and only encourages them. I was actually embarrased by her. PLEASE STOP POSTING ABOUT THESE TWO.

Hopefully after reading all the positive reviews, Heidi will be compelled to give the adult entertainment a try.
We think she could make a great scene in that very spot with LEX the Impaler.
And we could actually use her music for the background! Actually no... our stock porno background tracks are surely better.

DUMB.. DUMB.. DUMB... DUMB... DUMB.. DUMB.. DUMB... DUMB.. DUMB.. DUMB.................................................
DUMB.. DUMB.. DUMB.. DUMB........................... #%@&*(#^!#$

can someone kill her and her husband please? shes hot but dumb and doesnt sing, always posing for the pics...not one candid shot, they r bouth ridiculous

SHE IS LIKE A HOT LOOKING TORI SPELLING AT THE MOST! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'd just fuck her (with a bag over her head) and then I'd choke her while stabbing her repeatedly with a blunt object like a palm sized rock. yeh, thats what i wanna do to her....stupid bitch

That whole video made it look like she was having sex with that beach. What a strange premise for anything.

okay ... can she please make a music video that isn't with her prancing around in a bikini for the entire video? like do something like i dunno ... singing while driving a car or going to the mall to meet up with friends and seeing a cute guy there or something ... literally this entire video is just her, a bikini and the pool.

My brain hurts like the days following a week long drug binge. I'm shocked Spencer didn't turn the camera around during the last frame.

OMG-are you joking me-I guess when you have money you can do anything?
That is a hot mess and you can tell she has done the home movies before. Those will probally leak next.
She has one thing going for her-the dirty porn looking girl!!!!!

BlackOut? I keep waiting for Mandingo to get in that pool with her and bend her over.

fucking....sexy.

this is utter shit...

For those of us who had to endear that, i think that the least Heidi can do now is to make some hot porn. Maybe...MAYBE that will help us cope with the emotional damage we just had to endure.

Trust me...Jesus will love you for it, Heidi.