Madonna will be back in the gym tomorrow

Showing remarkable resilience by not shattering into a cloud of dust after being thrown off a horse, Madonna will be back in the gym tomorrow, according to Us Magazine:
"She's going to be fine. She fell on her butt," her trainer Tracy Anderson told Usmagazine.com Monday at Cookie Magazine's Smart Cookie Awards in NYC. "She's fine."
How fine?
"We're going to train tomorrow," she told Us.
When it comes to working out, "We have our set training," Anderson said. "She's like a professional athlete. She can't mess around with her training. I mean, she has to be able to perform in front of 70,000 people who are sucking the life out of her, and she's singing and dancing. There are no shortcuts when you're training in that way."
Wait wait wait. Madonna has a butt? .... Where? Is it in the car? Or does it appear in the claws of a flying griffin during a full moon? I bet it's the last one.

Reader Comments
1. superficial - April 21, 2009 12:37 PM
how did the superficial writer not comment on this: "who are sucking the life out of her"... of course, it'd be the other way around, no?
2. Jrz - April 21, 2009 12:38 PM
Didn't she get thrown off a horse a few years ago? Doesn't she realize she's tried this publicity trick already? or.....maybe the equines are on to something....yeah......maybe the horses of the world have decided to take matters into their own hands and do what humanity is too afraid to do....rid the world of Madonna.
3. Shannon - April 21, 2009 12:41 PM
Thought her gristle was all from yoga and not the gym..... she's so full of it. You ain't gettin' guns like hers unless there's some serious muscle conditioning involved.
4. Miss California - April 21, 2009 12:58 PM
Madonna and Lindsay Lohan are huge supporters of gay marriage.
With friends like that, who needs enemas?
5. milio - April 21, 2009 1:02 PM
watch madonnna land on a snake next time
6. FRIST!!! - April 21, 2009 1:07 PM
Horses spook easily around the undead..
7. smarg - April 21, 2009 1:11 PM
What the FUCK kind of getup is the bitch wearing?? Kinda like a horse jockey meth queen. Eew.
8. rd - April 21, 2009 1:21 PM
she looks like she peed her pants with whatever the hell she is wearing.
9. E! - April 21, 2009 1:29 PM
Best part: the horse's name is "Mercy."
10. GuyHolly - April 21, 2009 1:54 PM
Fish her butts right there under that hat, duh.
11. Heather - April 21, 2009 1:55 PM
"...70,000 people who are sucking the life out of her..."
so THAT'S where it went!!
12. salawhite - April 21, 2009 1:57 PM
Recently I found a hot club -- S e e k i n g t a l l . c o m -- just for sexy tall gals and guys to find their cupid. Come on, tall singles. Don't miss your love.
13. Heather - April 21, 2009 1:58 PM
Oohh. number 11. Double frist?
14. lollapop - April 21, 2009 2:01 PM
nah, only a stake through the heart would turn her to dust...
15. Barry O - April 21, 2009 2:10 PM
She looks like Mr. Burns from "the Simpsons."
16. Bobaloo - April 21, 2009 3:06 PM
Nice way to refer to her fans. Rather than calling them "70,000 people who are sucking the life out of her", perhaps they should be referred to as "70,000 morons throwing away their money on overpriced tickets so that Madonna can live a privileged lifestyle they can never hope to attain."
17. spindoc - April 21, 2009 3:20 PM
This is the second time a horse has thrown her.....apparently horses are EXCELLENT judges of character.
18. jenh - April 21, 2009 4:45 PM
Ugh--"sucking the life out of her"? How about paying for her opulent lifestyle? What an ungrateful bitch!
19. Darth - April 21, 2009 5:42 PM
Boo! Aren't there other pics?
20. Sauron - April 21, 2009 5:48 PM
She must be very careful the first time when she starts to work-out. . . Boo!
21. Gando - April 21, 2009 5:52 PM
*Shudder* I would check first for the boogeyman in the gym!
22. Nero - April 21, 2009 5:59 PM
Maybe her trainer is wearing tomorrow a halloween mask? Or maybe he doesn't need the mask?
23. timmy the dying boy - April 21, 2009 7:47 PM
Wow, she has feet that Sideshow Bob would be proud of.
24. gerard Vandenberg - April 22, 2009 12:08 AM
you wanna see a desperate american celeb?
GO TO THE GYM TOMORROW & HAVE A DAY OF FUN!!
25. Darth - April 22, 2009 5:50 AM
Boo! How about running like Road Runner in the gym?
26. TUBBO - April 22, 2009 7:13 AM
I wish those 70,000 people would suck harder and finish her off........
27. mikeock - April 22, 2009 7:33 AM
Poor, poor Madonna -no matter how hard she tries to be relevant, she's just a few years away from replacing Bette Midler in Vegas.
28. Maritza - April 22, 2009 1:47 PM
She needs a stylist cause Madonna clearly has really bad taste in clothes.
29. LPB - April 22, 2009 2:17 PM
Excuse me, Sauron #20, Madonna does NOT work-out!
She TRAINS!
Got it? Now read the article again so you don't forget!
She TRAINS!
Jesus.
30. Horse Rider Trainer - April 29, 2009 4:50 PM
If she's falling off that much doing nothing nothing....she needs...
1-a BOMBPROOF horse
2-A REAL COACH/TRAINER to teach her how to ride and stay balanced
3-Stay OFF horses!
When someone falls off for a reason as was claimed....there are issues with the riding, not the horse and nothing around the horse. Learn to ride if you're going to go out there in the open (not a control riding ring) and act like there's no fault to the rider. If a "professional" doesn't tell you these things....you're paying them for NOTHING!