Apr 14 2009Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony ad
Here's Lindsay Lohan doing an eHarmony ad for the folks over at Funny or Die which pretty much flushes whatever tiny shred of dignity she had down the toilet. Granted, she makes fun of herself, the video is basically a thinly-veiled attack of Samantha Ronson. But, on a brighter note, it also trumpets Lindsay's inevitable return to the penis. -- Whee?

Reader Comments
1. WTF - April 14, 2009 10:34 AM
that was horrible and not funny.
2. LINA - April 14, 2009 10:35 AM
FIRST
3. Rough Daddy - April 14, 2009 10:37 AM
She forgot spit baller...doenst this girl have a Manager, Agent or something...
4. Racer X - April 14, 2009 10:37 AM
Cocaine is a hellava drug.
5. Mos - April 14, 2009 10:38 AM
Actually, that was pretty funny.
#1 just needs to be cool and show what a harsh dude he is by parroting a gossip website writer. Too cool, guy. Lina was more original than you.
6. Richard McBeef - April 14, 2009 10:40 AM
Not funny
She looks beat up and need of a ham sandwich or 5.
The cigarette and panties voice is kinda hot though.
7. Delgo (I'm using a laptop cause my monitor is broken!!!1) - April 14, 2009 10:43 AM
I miss the chubby, big tittied, barely legal Lindsay.
R.I.P.
8. jann - April 14, 2009 10:44 AM
She got uglier. Is that possible?
9. abbs - April 14, 2009 10:50 AM
Pretty cleaver. Too bad it wasn't her idea. She has red hair now?
10. Adolf McHitler - April 14, 2009 10:50 AM
Hi! I'm Tom Cruise and EVERYONE WHO POSTS BELOW ME SUCKS WINO PENIS AND SWALLOWS!
11. LawnGnome - April 14, 2009 10:52 AM
Man, she looks terrible. I ALMOST feel sorry for her, except for the fact that her career downslide was her own fault... so, no.
12. Sportsdvl - April 14, 2009 10:53 AM
I hate Lohan but that was pretty funny and shows she can make fun of herself.
13. mirroRorrim - April 14, 2009 11:00 AM
That is pretty sad. It wouldve been superfunny if they had a look alike do it, but when she actually has nothing better to do than a spoof of herself... fucking SAD.
Other celebs who have done this aren't reciting a litany of their past exploits. They re making fun of rumors that arent true (for the most part) but in Lindsay's case... it is just a resume of her activities in the last couple of yrs.
She really needs someone who gives a damn about her in her life. It aint me though...
14. Rough Daddy - April 14, 2009 11:01 AM
She looks good, body's in tune, the question is does she still gets damp for dude, or does she wants to upgrade to a rosie odonelle or something...
15. applejack - April 14, 2009 11:02 AM
Ha! With no-one around but losers like you guys, it'll be a snap to scoop her up. So long, suckers!
16. lindsaylover - April 14, 2009 11:08 AM
she's becoming so unattractive it is sad.
really!
regardless of what some sexually insecure men and women have said in the past, she DID and HAS BEEN looking REALLY GOOD for a long time.
but now...
so skinny, coked out eyes, morbid smile...
and boh. even self locking irony doesn't come out right from her mouth...
which is usually so easy to pull off!
poor lindsey!
i volunteer to be her rehab...
quite a few strategies i have in mind to bring her back to her former splendor...
17. GL - April 14, 2009 11:09 AM
Lindsay has made some mistakes but she is still talented and cute as hell! I'm sure she will find someone who will treat her right as long as she stays away from the freaks in Hollywood!
18. dude - April 14, 2009 11:10 AM
gotta hand it to her she has her sense of humor. id date her in a heartbeat. mosta u haters probably couldnt GET a date xcept rosey... god bless u linds
19. tarzan - April 14, 2009 11:10 AM
lol that was funny!
i have over $400...
and by that a redhead thats crazy LOL
me like her now
20. Alex - April 14, 2009 11:12 AM
She's awesome. Loved the video and she is still a hoot!
21. Mal Gusto - April 14, 2009 11:18 AM
B-O-R-I-N-G......
wow. Lindsay is so hip, she can make fun of her own media image. The only thing I want to see coming out of her mouth is some guy's cock, when the inevitable leap to porn is made.
Note to Linds: If you are willing to set up a pay per view suicide site, I will contribute.
22. Mal Gusto - April 14, 2009 11:19 AM
B-O-R-I-N-G......
wow. Lindsay is so hip, she can make fun of her own media image. The only thing I want to see coming out of her mouth is some guy's cock, when the inevitable leap to porn is made.
Note to Linds: If you are willing to set up a pay per view suicide site, I will contribute.
23. meee - April 14, 2009 11:22 AM
hahaha. come on. how many of you would listen to the shit someone talked about you, then actually make a video about it for everyone to watch?
(if you do, youtube it so i can watch!)
24. leelee - April 14, 2009 11:26 AM
i think it was funny and she looked really good
go lindsay
25. holycow - April 14, 2009 11:44 AM
This chick has been rode hard and put away dusty.
26. mikeock - April 14, 2009 11:45 AM
If I didn't know this was LINDSAY LOHAN, I'd say to myself, "Hey, funny chick. A little bony, but they all fatten up once they commit to you. She looks like she could down a quart of Vodka and give a blowjob like a pro. I bet she swallows too."
27. Kelley - April 14, 2009 12:13 PM
Her dignity down the toilet ? Flush the whole THING down the toilet ... whee !!!
28. Vivvianna Vandersnatch - April 14, 2009 12:16 PM
Is Lindsay drunk in this thing? She's totally got Paris HIlton wonk eye going on.
29. Sarah Smith - April 14, 2009 12:17 PM
Lindsay is hot and has a lot of potential/talent unlike whorish paris and bitchy nicole. She is still very young so give her a break if she is trying to figure out what she likes/does not like. I bet most of u were also exprimenting/ experiencing different phases in life that you did not know how to handle at in ur twenties...and she is only 22!!
30. RichPort's Ghost - April 14, 2009 12:31 PM
Way to go, you stupid chain-smoking c*nt. You sound like a 65-year old granny who pulls around an oxygen tank.
You should go back to smoking pole instead, you dumb bitch.
31. RichPort's Ghost - April 14, 2009 12:32 PM
More like STDHarmony...
32. Mr. Obvious - April 14, 2009 12:36 PM
I might date her just to see the twins and crazy sex. I would certain do her for a night. But anything beyond 2 weeks is not worth it. Girl's got too much drama.
33. RichPort's Ghost - April 14, 2009 12:36 PM
Wow... good job troll!
34. jt - April 14, 2009 12:43 PM
uhhh. is this supposed to be funny?
35. peter - April 14, 2009 12:49 PM
Holy shit that was AMAZING
totally hysterical
great job lindsay
36. Trish - April 14, 2009 12:57 PM
Thought it wasn't so bad, however her skin looks rough.
37. Trish - April 14, 2009 12:57 PM
Thought it wasn't so bad, however her skin looks rough.
38. justifiable - April 14, 2009 1:04 PM
She lost me at "workaholic" - it became obvious when she was confirming that laundry list of felonies, misdemeanors and fuckups that work always came last. Sad. All she did here was heavily underline why she's not employable.
39. cat - April 14, 2009 1:04 PM
she sounds bitter
40. justifiable - April 14, 2009 1:13 PM
#33 RPG, does your lame troll want to fuck you, or just be you? He's doing a piss-poor job if it's the latter.
41. Iambananas - April 14, 2009 1:16 PM
Since when is a D.U.I. funny? See: Angels pitcher killed by drunk driver. Still laughing?
42. kakak - April 14, 2009 1:20 PM
I actually thought it was kinda funny:/
43. Laughing - April 14, 2009 1:27 PM
#41...yes, I'm still laughing. Even harder now after reading your comment.
44. a sanderson - April 14, 2009 1:30 PM
funny but she did a horrible job of acting, even if it was a joke. couldnt bare wathcing her "act"
45. Galtacticus - April 14, 2009 1:37 PM
Aww! How cute!
46. notfunny - April 14, 2009 1:39 PM
um that was lame...man I can't believe how much she's aged in like 4 years...she looks like she could be 35 :/...quit smoking and drinking lindsay, save whats left of your career
47. Nero - April 14, 2009 1:39 PM
Is she looking for someone??
48. gomer - April 14, 2009 1:53 PM
wow...listen to that coke voice....
Nice PR move, she has somebody with a clue working for her. The self deprecating bit will do her good if she can stay out of legal trouble. IF.
49. spamfighter - April 14, 2009 2:19 PM
this is so hot. I'm there for you Linds. And by there, I mean my penis.
50. BB - April 14, 2009 2:29 PM
That was funny.
Funnier than you, Superficial.
51. dave - April 14, 2009 2:34 PM
who cares she sucks............
52. eric - April 14, 2009 2:40 PM
Wow, a singer and an actress?
Think she might be stretching it a little bit.
53. shaun - April 14, 2009 2:44 PM
Actually, that was quite funny and well done. She has a good sense of humor about herself, which is always likeable.
54. justifiable - April 14, 2009 2:44 PM
#52 I dunno, it's working for Billy Bob, right?
55. ishi-san - April 14, 2009 2:49 PM
You can actually see the coke in her nose at one point!
56. Lourenço farrenzi - April 14, 2009 3:04 PM
IT is super funny, really, i don't see why people hate this girl, she's a great actress and seems really cool, we all make mistakes but she seems a down to earth, lovely and sweet girl. Why people keep trashing her? gotta be jealous, ridiculous.
57. cman - April 14, 2009 3:25 PM
The best piece of work she's done in years...
58. Massa' - April 14, 2009 3:31 PM
@41 I hate walruses
59. The Crow - April 14, 2009 3:49 PM
Return to the penis?
Samantha has a penis and $100 says its bigger than Fish dorks.
60. Scorpion559 - April 14, 2009 3:52 PM
I'm very aroused.
61. charity - April 14, 2009 4:32 PM
Wow. someone's been doing meth all night and not sleeping. she looks horrible. put the pipe down, hon, it's time for bed and a milkshake.
62. really? - April 14, 2009 4:51 PM
what provoked her to do this? goddammit, she's a quality actress if she would just stop all this shit. she just keeps digging herself deeper into the "don't hire me or respect me because this is all i have going for me" barrel
63. Jamie's Uterus - April 14, 2009 4:56 PM
Not a fan of hers, but I did think this was kinda funny.
64. el ces - April 14, 2009 5:09 PM
She doesn't wear glasses or tie her hair back anymore, huh?
She looked good.
65. Jenna - April 14, 2009 5:29 PM
I enjoyed that. Kind of restores a smigen of my respect for her. Maybe next she'll get a real acting job in a not-horrible movie, and I'll have a little bit more.
66. loved` - April 14, 2009 6:10 PM
loZER! who goes to e-harmany when u got money and wen ur famouse lozERRRRRRRRRRRR!
67. b - April 14, 2009 6:17 PM
that was hilarious. i look forward to seeing her in films again. you people, on the other hand, are UGLY. your bitchiness/homophobia/misogyny is seriously fucking depressing. oh, and ps; there's this thing called mandatory testing when you're on probation, and its for real even if you're famous. she's been clean for over a year. altho she could cut back on the cigarettes...
68. b - April 14, 2009 6:20 PM
um, "loved": its a PARODY, not a real eharmony ad....
69. Venom - April 14, 2009 6:22 PM
I would do her six ways from Sunday.
Damn that is a bad baby.
Piss of Ronson you hag.
70. Megan - April 14, 2009 6:25 PM
She needs to learn to read a fucking teleprompter or cards better. It's way too obvious. Not that it matters. She's still a waste of space.
71. Rhialto - April 14, 2009 6:36 PM
Where's my cutie?
72. titsonsnack - April 14, 2009 6:50 PM
She looks hot for a 45 year old.
She needs to sleep, eat better, take care of herself, stay out of the sun. It doesn't even matter if this is funny or not, I found it mildly funny, fact is she looks HAGGARD. Youthful, fertile, nubile girls in their early twenties aren't supposed to resemble bitter divorcée beef jerky. Imagine what she'll look like at 32.
73. casualencounters.com/blog/ - April 14, 2009 7:00 PM
It was hilarious, brilliant, and I'd hit it.
74. kingofbeer - April 14, 2009 7:03 PM
I bet she's greedy in bed......I like that :p
75. Tom K - April 14, 2009 7:13 PM
It is amazing how washed up she is! She needs to go back to the her days when she had some meat on her bones and she looked fresh and not used up, whored out, coked up and skanky as hell. At least her hair is red again. So I guess that's a plus?! Red hair works for this slut though.
76. sarah - April 14, 2009 7:19 PM
This is her best work yet!
77. heather - April 14, 2009 7:45 PM
If I was famous I'd leverage that into getting into a famous university, Claire Danes style. She should do that. And maybe she could meet Mr. Moneybags for a hubby in Econ 101. Can't stand the voice though. Sounds like a whore voice.
78. humpinfrog - April 14, 2009 7:45 PM
I haven't seen the video yet, but in the screen shot she looks like a thirty-five year old cougar. Rrrrrrrrrrr...(cough)...rrrr..(cough)..rrrrrrrrrr...(belch) aaaaooo(cough/fart).....rrrrr. " I smell Oscar! You. Go. Girl.
79. boobies - April 14, 2009 7:47 PM
67 who are you trying to fool? we all know you are lindsay lohan because the only person who actually likes lindsay lohan is herself
maybe not so much anymore, but you get the gist here
80. humpinfrog - April 14, 2009 7:53 PM
Wow! I called it! Love the truckstop waitress voice. Will they put her above the "Best Boy" and "Key Grip" credits in her next movie? I will say she seems to accept her situation and, Lindsay, you can have the quarter in my pants, if you can find it.
81. jzz - April 14, 2009 8:09 PM
cocaine is a hell of a drug!!!!
82. danay - April 14, 2009 8:23 PM
for a girl who is so naturally beautiful and young to already look so trashed is just sad....although not as sad as her being so confused desperate for..something that she would actually go out with a girl that is confused herself.************************
83. angry face - April 14, 2009 9:14 PM
That was so funny! Reminds me why I like her as an actress. Reminds me of Mean Girls. I hope she fixes herself and starts acting again.
84. fuck - April 14, 2009 9:33 PM
wow.....completely destroyed whatever remaining shred of dignity she might have had....
85. tee hee - April 14, 2009 9:51 PM
crack is whack, but this was funny!
86. Amy - April 14, 2009 10:20 PM
OMG lighten up people, thats hysterical!
87. Binky - April 14, 2009 11:00 PM
I'd give it a 'pass'
Pretty funny.
88. you guys - April 14, 2009 11:15 PM
you guys iz crazy! i'd bone the crap out of her. plus, she's a nympho.
89. Rough Daddy - April 15, 2009 12:17 AM
She has a pussy in her mouth! You go girl!
90. justifiable - April 15, 2009 12:21 AM
who let the dogs out? and by "dogs" I mean Rich Port's Ghost
91. whatever - April 15, 2009 12:22 AM
OMG Amy calm down! it was only mildly funny
92. SamRo - April 15, 2009 12:26 AM
fuck off you crazy bitch!
93. Randal - April 15, 2009 12:37 AM
Lindsay, throughtout the years you've been inspiration to my adopted Korean daughter. We both love your red hair and how it matches you pubes. I have your picture in my bathroom above the toilet and I love looking at it while taking a piss. You are truly amazing! Love,
Randal
94. Randal - April 15, 2009 12:40 AM
Lindsay, throughtout the years you've been inspiration to my adopted Korean daughter. We both love your red hair and how it matches you pubes. I have your picture in my bathroom above the toilet and I love looking at it while taking a piss. You are truly amazing! Love,
Randal
95. Joejam2845 - April 15, 2009 2:27 AM
I'm curious why any guy would want to Poke that Pussy Bumper???
96. davidw - April 15, 2009 2:36 AM
#82-------------------- totally agree with you. straight girl making "confused" decisions means that she is fkd up in the head.
97. ginger - April 15, 2009 2:58 AM
at least she didn't marry samantha ronson & adopt five babies from africa
98. Narcissist - April 15, 2009 3:28 AM
I heard Wil Ferrel isn't fond of her. I think this would've seemed funnier if she'd had a watchable movie in the last 4 years, something in the media besides her manufactured attention seeking.
99. gerard Vandenberg - April 15, 2009 7:00 AM
a losing american: WE REALLY MUST FEEL SORRY, folks!!
100. Corina - April 15, 2009 8:00 AM
Oh wow. She is so damn skinny. I just want Angelina to adopt her already.
And she is clearly reading from a teleprompter. Her eyes kept shifting right back to it.
Here's hoping she gets better! There's only two things that sell magazines: failure and those who overcome it.
101. Kuroneko - April 15, 2009 9:15 AM
I thought she looked hot.
102. go lindsay - April 15, 2009 10:48 AM
i thought it was pretty fucking funny!
xoxox
103. sirrix - April 15, 2009 12:06 PM
Actually, not too shabby.
104. Rachel - April 15, 2009 4:38 PM
Nothing like reading off cue cards to prove you're a funny lighthearted actress...
For more celeb news updated often, check out:
http://www.stylecaster.com/news/1891/lindsay-is-looking-for-her-next-victim
105. Eva - April 15, 2009 8:32 PM
So is Ashley Kaufmann her half-sister or not???
106. That Guy - April 16, 2009 9:12 AM
Fail!
107. Kate - April 16, 2009 4:43 PM
Anyone find that sad instead of funny? I mean it's funny when they do that kind of thing on SNL or have someone that looks like her do it, but when you're doing it to yourself, it's just sad. Really sad. And not funny. Plus she looked awful, like she's been doing drugs again. And her extensions are just ridiculous.
108. BRANDON M. WITTE - April 17, 2009 12:28 AM
LOHAN'S FORMER FRIEND PARIS HILTON IS CURRENTLY EVADING FEDERAL PROSECUTION FOR HEINOUS FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED AGAINST BRITNEY SPEARS AND MYSELF.
PARIS HILTON'S CRIMINAL FATHER RICK HILTON GOT INVOLVED IN THE FEDERAL CRIMES IN MAY 2008 WHEN HE BRIBED SOMEONE AT THE ASSOCIATED PRESS TO BLOCK PARIS HILTON'S "SAVING THE DRUNK ELEPHANTS IN INDIA" STORY IN A DIRECT AND BLATANT ATTEMPT TO TRY AND SHIELD PARIS HILTON FROM FEDERAL PROSECUTION.
FOR MORE INFORMATION, GOOGLE MY NAME (BRANDON M. WITTE) WITH THE NAMES: PARIS HILTON, RICK HILTON, AND NICKY HILTON.
THE WEB SITES PARIS HILTON ASKMEN.COM AND NICKY HILTON ASKMEN.COM CONTAIN ALLEGATIONS OF HEINOUS FEDERAL CRIME COMMITTED BY PARIS HILTON AND RICK HILTON AGAINST ME GOING BACK TO MAY 2008.
THE WEB SITES: BRITNEY SPEARS ASKMEN.COM, ANGELINA JOLIE ASKMEN.COM, JENNIFER ANISTON ASKMEN.COM, MEG RYAN ASKMEN.COM, JULIA ROBERTS ASKMEN.COM, KIM KARDASHIAN ASKMEN.COM, NICOLE RICHIE ASKMEN.COM, AND EVA LONGORIA ASKEN.COM ALL CONTAIN THIS INFORMATION.
SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE
ARLINGTON, TEXAS
AGE: 32
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
109. BRANDON M. WITTE - April 17, 2009 12:32 AM
PARIS HILTON IS GOING TO PRISON FOR HEINOUS FEDERAL CRIMES.
SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE
ARLINGTON, TEXAS
AGE: 32
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
110. BRANDON M. WITTE - April 17, 2009 12:36 AM
PARIS HILTON IS GOING TO PRISON FOR HEINOUS FEDERAL CRIMES.
SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE
ARLINGTON, TEXAS
AGE: 32
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
111. BRANDON M. WITTE - April 17, 2009 12:38 AM
PARIS HILTON IS GOING TO PRISON FOR HEINOUS FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED AGAINST BRITNEY SPEARS AND MYSELF.
SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE
ARLINGTON, TEXAS
AGE: 32
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
112. BRANDON M. WITTE - April 17, 2009 12:40 AM
PARIS HILTON IS GOING TO PRISON FOR HEINOUS FEDERAL CRIMES.
SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE
ARLINGTON, TEXAS
AGE: 32
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
113. Josh Aberclue - April 17, 2009 2:41 PM
Is this bitch for real?
i mean she's so fucknig stale it's not funny
114. SmashBrawler - April 18, 2009 2:31 AM
Wow, I would seriously date her if I had the chance. I don't care what anyone says, I've had a crush on her for quite awhile now.
115. JessicaP. - April 18, 2009 12:39 PM
That was funny!!!! Gotta love her for that one. Mad props to you Linds!
116. JessicaP. - April 18, 2009 12:40 PM
That was funny!!!! Gotta love her for that one. Mad props to you Linds!
117. wtf - April 19, 2009 2:32 AM
It's an ad. 6126 (mentioned in the last few seconds of the video) is one her lines.
118. somuchbetter - April 19, 2009 4:36 PM
she is SO freaking talentless. i dont know what any of you are talking about, that wasn't fucking funny at all. you are all a bunch of lonely, stupid retards that obviously have low standards in comedy and women alike.
119. missywissy - April 21, 2009 10:40 AM
I don't get how this is funny? I could see if what she was saying wasn't true. She needs to get help, but people gobble this shit up and keep her pockets full. I think she is pretty, but she seems very cocky. The only thing she comes across is somebody who will suck it and swallow. She doesn't seem like the kind of person one would actually keep-in-touch with unless they happen to be in the same town that night.