Apr 3 2009Jessica Simpson goes to the beach
Here's some grainy, some not-so-grainy shots of Jessica Simpson on vacation in Mexico. After looking at these, I'm starting to think none of us fully understood the actual size of Jessica Simpson's breasts. I mean, I knew they were big. I just didn't know you could build a condo on them. Is this what they meant by the housing bubble? No? Not even close? Damn.

Reader Comments
1. blackout - April 3, 2009 11:54 AM
Butterface
2. blackout - April 3, 2009 11:55 AM
My first First!
3. Perry - April 3, 2009 11:55 AM
Well that was a waste of 2 minutes
4. Sheva - April 3, 2009 11:55 AM
not her best look
5. Vintage ROUGH - April 3, 2009 11:57 AM
Yes these effing things are massive and godbless her!!
6. Jimmy Jim - April 3, 2009 11:57 AM
wtf? why were these pics shot using a kodak disposable 35mm?
7. Richard McBeef - April 3, 2009 12:00 PM
2 blurry 2 jack off 2
8. GuyHolly - April 3, 2009 12:01 PM
Her dad jerks off on them four times a day. That's how they grew so big.
9. Boobhead - April 3, 2009 12:02 PM
I feel sorry for her with having to carry those giant bags around all day long. It must really hurt her back, and she must get and lot of strange looks and sick comments from truck drivers and other white trash guys. I think we should all chip-in and pay for her to get a reduction. Or, she could just sell her nipples on eBay since I heard that they remove them in a reduction and give you tattooed ones instead to pay for it herself. Or, she could just give up the celebrity thing, she's getting too old anyway and become a wet nurse like Selma Hyack did.
10. Tim - April 3, 2009 12:07 PM
Fat, sloppy fat hillbilly girl.
11. Zanna - April 3, 2009 12:09 PM
@7 - if you close your eyes, it gets clearer.
12. mikeock - April 3, 2009 12:10 PM
never mind her tits, check out that ass!
13. ktb - April 3, 2009 12:10 PM
@ 9, they don't tattoo nipples on you, what a boobhead!
14. Vintage ROUGH - April 3, 2009 12:12 PM
I knew she had big boobs before but this is ridiculous...
-she looks like she got stuffed with 2 of Romo's pigskin under the chest area...
15. James - April 3, 2009 12:17 PM
Imagine how disappointed you'd be if your last memory of Jessica was when she was fit and hot, and then you stumbled on this mess.
16. Mr. Jones - April 3, 2009 12:17 PM
Pic #10 - looks like a hankerchief draped over an oven-stuffer Roaster.
17. cf - April 3, 2009 12:17 PM
Are these recent? If so, it looks like she lost those extra 15 lbs.
18. Amaranth - April 3, 2009 12:21 PM
looks like most of her fat went to her boobs which is awesome! I'd hit it in a second!
19. random dude - April 3, 2009 12:27 PM
uh, something about "still hit it", I dunno. Yeah.
20. Darth - April 3, 2009 12:28 PM
Is this really Jessica Simpson.
21. Gando - April 3, 2009 12:29 PM
The quality of the pics are very average.
22. Galtacticus - April 3, 2009 12:34 PM
The curves of her hips are very smooth.
23. Pat - April 3, 2009 12:38 PM
I'm glad there are those pics that make it clear she's sunbathing, because at first glance I thought she had beached.
24. Nero - April 3, 2009 12:41 PM
If she bangs like a locomotive i still would hit her.
25. RichPort's Ghost - April 3, 2009 12:43 PM
I'd tap that ass..... Oh who am I kidding? We all know the only ass I'd tap is that of an effeminate black or latino?
On the receiving side... Darnell, Lucious, Tyrone, Javier, Juan, Carlos -- call me!!!!!!!!!!
Me Rrrrruuuuvvvvvvv pigmented cock!!!!
26. Delgo (The Gustoppo) - April 3, 2009 12:46 PM
Someone needs to install the Grain Surgery filter in CS3.
27. Rhialto - April 3, 2009 12:50 PM
When were these pics shot.
28. Sauron - April 3, 2009 12:53 PM
Obviously cellphone-pics.
29. Remi - April 3, 2009 12:59 PM
Is it me, or is there some nipple slippage?
30. pappy smeary - April 3, 2009 1:00 PM
what a dumb bitch, she;s below nick laches level now, and she would probably crush him if she were on top, tony romo like to be with manly sized girls obviously
click the link to see some cheating slut:
http://www.ihateyoujulia.com/?id=833869d38e19b9303458ca8a0391600a
31. Richport like's em male and tall - April 3, 2009 1:02 PM
Looks like another lonely weekend for me posting idiotic comments and praying someone anyone will respond. I was hoping that one of my stumps would regenerate magically. I read something about that happening somewhere. I think it was in the Hobbit or something of that sort.
Any takers?
32. Deacon Jones - April 3, 2009 1:07 PM
I'm insanely turned on and disgusted at the same time...
33. Your President - April 3, 2009 1:07 PM
I like my white meat a little less fatty.
34. Chris - April 3, 2009 1:29 PM
She's like KFC - it looks good if you're really hungry and it can be a greasy nasty treat, but afterward it makes you sick to even look at the leftovers.
35. Blue Eyes - April 3, 2009 1:30 PM
# 31 Richport - I'll be your sidekick.....least you know what you like. Unlike some of these other fruit cakes. I'm sure you've read some of my comments by now. New to the scene lookin to shake things up. You are lonely no more!!!
36. Smarg - April 3, 2009 1:31 PM
No wonder Romo is still hittin' that. Gawd, you could suck those babies for days....
37. Useless Ape in the White House - April 3, 2009 1:35 PM
I'm B'lack Oboombox, and by taxing every employer and corporation so much that they fire every employee, go bankrupt, or move overseas, I'll create jobs.
Also, by spending more money in 1 year than George Bush did in 8 years, on numerous uneeded liberal gov't programs that will fail and cost 5 times their projected budgets, I'll create even more jobs.
Furthermore, by printing trillions of new dollars to pay for all my great job ideas, the money that has no collateral backing, will plummet the value of the US dollar to less than a peso, thrusting the economy into an irrecoverable depression and turning the US into a third world country, I'll create many more jobs.
And by buying 32 new teleprompters for $400,000 a piece, so I can speak very eloquently when I tell you I'll create jobs, I'll create even more jobs.
Change!
38. Blue Eyes - April 3, 2009 1:36 PM
On Jessica, at least she is confident enough to come out in a bathing suite and say.....who the f*ck cares what other people say about my body. Sad that she can't even sun bathe without some perv taking pictures of her. Bet you say, "she's famous that's how it goes....when you damn well, famous or not if you saw some strange person taking pics of you....they would get the shit beat out of them. Except the ones who like that, and you better believe there out there. She must be doing something right, good or bad people are talkin. You go girl!!!
39. as if - April 3, 2009 1:39 PM
Jessica has zero confidence about her body right now.
40. The Pulse - April 3, 2009 1:46 PM
I did see that report that he bought 32 telepromters for a little over $12 million dollars. It's so wonderful that Obumma's main focus is reading from a teleprompter instead of doing something that might actually help the country. The guy is so clueless and incompetent he makes GW seem like Einstein. No worries, in 4 years he'll be gone, maybe sooner, and this little liberal experiment will be over and done with. Hopefully they don't create to much irreversible damage before then.
41. Blue Eyes - April 3, 2009 1:57 PM
#39 - I didn't know you knew her.....
42. spamfighter - April 3, 2009 2:00 PM
Tattooed nipples: done for reconstruction surgery after a mastectomy
Ass: No hips, indicating a fatty
Obama: At least he can read, unlike the previous President.
43. as if - April 3, 2009 2:01 PM
#41 - you don't have to know her, you simply have to observe what she says and does with eyes that aren't all glazed over from reading 100 fan magazines like a complete lemming.
44. AteIsEnough - April 3, 2009 2:12 PM
If you're gonna' post pics like this, please use pictures that have some quality. What a waste of time...but she does have some inpressive guns!!
45. do you really have a pulse? - April 3, 2009 2:12 PM
Obama leads the G20 conference to consensus on major issues, the stock market continues its rally, economists talk of the recession possibly bottoming out.
Yeah, he's incompetent. He forgot to wink at the Queen and sneak up behind the German Chancellor to give her an unwanted neck massage.
46. Useless Ape in the White House - April 3, 2009 2:14 PM
Does anybody have some Anbesol gel? It turns out the myth is true, they really ARE bigger. A lot bigger.
47. Rhialto - April 3, 2009 2:31 PM
Where's my babe.
48. The Right Way - April 3, 2009 2:33 PM
#38 Blue Eyes is obviously a severely obesce pig who hasn't seen her vagina or her toes since adolescence. The stench coming from your stank cunt must be overwhelmingly disgusting.
49. Vince Lombardi - April 3, 2009 2:37 PM
Recommend to your photog to stop using his cell phone to take pics. Try a camera, buddy.
50. Tony Romo's Beard - April 3, 2009 2:39 PM
I've been dieting (drinking chocloate "milk" made with ex-lax and metamucil) for weeks, my publicist called every major camera weilding douche to let them know where'd I'd be, AND I borrowed Paris Hilton's bra, and all I get are these grainy fucking pictures? I'm SO yelling at my Dad when he crawls into bed with me early tomorrow morning........
51. Blue Eyes - April 3, 2009 3:27 PM
#48 - Go ahead and think that, if that's what makes you feel good. Bitch you know nothing about me and I would never give you the time of day. F*ck off ass wipe. You need these things to build your ego, poor, poor, person!!!!
52. justifiable - April 3, 2009 4:10 PM
#31 One of the stupidest posts ever.
You:sarcasm=George Bush:coherent thought.
Also, WTF is "LIKE'S"? The real Richport knows how to use an apostrophe, which is more than you do. I'd say stay in school, but it's clearly a waste - you're taking up #37's space on the short bus.
53. jakethesnake - April 3, 2009 4:15 PM
i really think you can see a bit of her delicious nips in this one
54. wao - April 3, 2009 4:31 PM
pic 10-HAHAHA
55. Carmelita Spats - April 3, 2009 5:41 PM
Zaftig girl reads People, hopes to pick up a few tips from Valerie Bertinelli. Who, by the way, looks damn good. Valerie, I mean.
56. Erland Josephson - April 3, 2009 7:36 PM
She is so fucking hot it's silly. Guys like short blondes with big tits who know how to fuck and suck like world champs and Jessica is all three of these things. I love her. The rest of you are lame. I'm going to go jack off to these pictures and then spray my screen and all of your dumb comments with my man mustard. Fuckers.
57. jt - April 3, 2009 8:01 PM
mother of god. she is hot.
58. Juno - April 3, 2009 8:33 PM
That photographer either had a really shitty lens, was hundreds upon hundreds of yards away, or both. Don't be shy, pappo! Get closer! Power to the press!
59. Hey Racist Freak - April 3, 2009 9:10 PM
Take a day off next week. You need a karma check - go skydiving and report back.
60. rob - April 3, 2009 9:32 PM
where these photos taken from mars? the 7th photo is really hot but too fuzzy
61. Where's the Beach - April 3, 2009 9:33 PM
Superfish Dude, why does this beach have green grass all over it?
62. sushi - April 3, 2009 11:19 PM
Pregnant boobs. She'll make an announcement soon and then bag some $$ while she plays victim for having to deal with comments on her weight while her unwedness got pregnant to trap a boyfriend who is more interested in publicity from her.
63. Nemesis - April 3, 2009 11:52 PM
#59 Great news, 43,973,492 people here who hate his racist ass offered to pack the parachute.
64. . - April 4, 2009 1:11 AM
63 make that 43,973,493
65. gerard Vandenberg - April 4, 2009 1:32 AM
I'm sure everything will sink in the water except her TITS, folks!!
66. President Barack Hussein Obama - April 4, 2009 3:46 AM
#64 What the fuck, make it 43, 973,494.
67. Alfalfa - April 4, 2009 10:28 AM
Thanks for the trip down mammary lane
68. Loverboy - April 4, 2009 11:55 AM
I would suck on this tics chits all day long, and then the next day, then the next... and so on, and so on....
69. Loverboy's Mother - April 4, 2009 3:03 PM
Sorry folks, he was bottle-fed.
70. The Gaborg - April 4, 2009 8:58 PM
Fatso, schmatzo: I'd hit that in a nanosecond, and expect her to hit me back. In the face. With them thangs. Repeatedly.
71. doug - April 5, 2009 3:30 AM
damn, hello ms blobby !!.........wtf r u doing wearing a thong bikini when you've been downing ice cream for six months straight by the look of it ??
72. Black11Inch - April 5, 2009 4:07 PM
I'd bend her over and drill that pussy from the back. Spank that ass. Make those titties bounce while she tell me how big I am.
73. JT - April 5, 2009 9:50 PM
She looks like free willy in the first pic, what a whale!
74. Frank N Stein - April 6, 2009 4:57 PM
Seeing those boobies makes me wonder why does Romo have a hard time gripping the ball.