Mar 31 2009Rihanna cooperating with DA's office

Despite rumors to the contrary, Rihanna is fully cooperating with the district attorney's office on Chris Brown's assault case. Probably even more so now that they're "on a break." Us Magazine reports:
The Los Angeles County District Attorney denies that Rihanna is no longer cooperating in the Chris Brown case.
"We deal with her attorney who says she is a cooperating victim," L.A. County D.A. spokesperson Sandi Gibbons tells Usmagazine.com.
According to FoxNews.com, the "Umbrella" singer "wants the whole thing" to go away and isn't helping the D.A. prepare his case against Brown for allegedly assaulting her Feb. 8 -- hours before both were scheduled to attend the Grammys.
Adds her lawyer, Donald Etra: "She will do everything that the law requires her to do...nothing has changed."
Wait a minute. FOX News was wrong? Fuck, how does that even happen?! Well, it's been fun, everybody. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sit in the bathtub with my G.I. Joe's and wait for the universe to implode. Let's roll, Serpentor.

Reader Comments
1. Jrzmommy - March 31, 2009 11:20 AM
First!
2. hollywood_hillbilly - March 31, 2009 11:22 AM
Maybe they were hoping she would do a duet with RNC chair Michael Steele.
3. Rough Daddy - March 31, 2009 11:30 AM
Backwood Bitch? where you been buddy? got struck by the economic hardship?
4. Rhialto - March 31, 2009 11:31 AM
Weird,i'm wondering what's really going on!
5. RichPort's Ghost - March 31, 2009 11:32 AM
Isn't Fox news STILL reporting on Natalee Holloway too?
I'm just sayin'...
6. Nero - March 31, 2009 11:34 AM
Why can't people just act normal!??
7. joh - March 31, 2009 11:35 AM
Girl is just sticking to her guns! (har har)
8. Nero - March 31, 2009 11:38 AM
The key of the whole story hangs on her necklet!
9. Snaggletooth - March 31, 2009 11:42 AM
I still want to see her come out and say, " All this bullshit has made me question my values and I'm playing for the other team now."
10. ph7 - March 31, 2009 11:50 AM
How'd she end up with Gwyneth's bra?
11. Gando - March 31, 2009 11:55 AM
Michael Jackson hairdo!?
12. ilovefox - March 31, 2009 11:57 AM
Fox news is never wrong. it's the world that doesn't go according to their reports!!
13. Galtacticus - March 31, 2009 11:58 AM
Do i see a lill moustache there!?
14. Faux News - March 31, 2009 12:16 PM
How dare you question our integrity! Haven't you noticed the flag that waves continuously in a corner of the screen? Does CNN have that? Huh? Does it? Maybe one that's BURNING!
Our reporting of the news is appreciated by all patriotic citizens in the pro-America parts of the country, and that's all we care about.
15. Sure - March 31, 2009 12:17 PM
I think you need to read her lawyer's statement a little more closely. She didn't say she was cooperating (which she wasn't initially), she said she would do what the law requires, which are two totally separate things.
Oh, but you'd have to actually be able to read and comprehend words to realize that, my bad.
16. Angelina Fan - March 31, 2009 12:17 PM
I hope he gets in so much trouble he can't even see daylight.
17. Sarah Palin - March 31, 2009 12:18 PM
See, this is what I been tawkin abowt. When you tell Gawd's truth, the liberal media gets all angry-like and starts spreadin' its lies. It's like Trig said the other day: "gaaaaaahh duuuuuhhh....doye?"
18. hollywood_hillbilly - March 31, 2009 12:23 PM
Douchey! The only hardship you are experiencing are the ones pounding your gaping asshole. Figured I would find you on a fox news post, knob jockey.
19. Rough Daddy - March 31, 2009 12:26 PM
haha! I see, youre as lamer as ever!
20. Rough Daddy - March 31, 2009 12:27 PM
I heard Backwood Bitch been selling my quotes on Ebay to make ends meet!...
21. RichPort's Ghost - March 31, 2009 12:32 PM
#17 - Sadly, that mad me laugh.
22. Jrz - March 31, 2009 12:35 PM
Nice. Ghetto. Tips.
23. The Community - March 31, 2009 1:07 PM
Has anyone made a "Rhianna, Stop Snitchin!" T-Shirt yet?
Cause she's sending a bad message to the community with all her talking with the Man
24. hollywood_hillbilly - March 31, 2009 1:18 PM
Gratuitous elipses following an exclamation point. Nobody does english grammar like you douchey!
25. Laughing idiot - March 31, 2009 1:46 PM
This pig can't even sing. Seriously. I listened to a few of her songs and she flat our sucks. How is this cunt rich and famous and what the fuck is wrong with her skull? She looks like a female frankenstein.
Hopefully Mr. Brown will beat some more sense into that long noggin next time she pisses him off.
26. Mr. Jones - March 31, 2009 1:47 PM
Chris will beat her in court - with a tire iron.
He will file a writ of Beateus Corpus.
27. Ein - March 31, 2009 1:50 PM
Such a ridiculous bitch.
28. CakeSnifferer - March 31, 2009 2:58 PM
STOP SNITCHIN'
29. Rough Daddy - March 31, 2009 5:36 PM
You're attacking my grammar now BWB? Do you even know what ellipsis even mean Fool?
30. DJTennessee - March 31, 2009 6:20 PM
I completely adore Rihanna and her entire body of work...
...but I can't help but notice that she's experiencing male pattern baldness earlier than her (male) ex-boyfriend. What's up with that hairline?
31. Nabi - March 31, 2009 8:29 PM
FOX shouldn't even be commenting on crap like this. One of the biggest scandals is how crappy our news services have become. The gossip and superficial garbage--and I'm not saying it has NO value--should be left to sites like this one. You guys don't have to take yourselves so seriously.
32. bleh! - March 31, 2009 10:31 PM
nice fur you skank!
33. ada - March 31, 2009 11:06 PM
Lincon said all people have the right to love somebody, included LGBT. Now I can speak out loudly "hi everyone, I'm a bisexual. I love the world." without any hesitation. No matter we are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, our heart is full of love. And we also hope to have life-long love" said by one of my bisexual friends met at the bisexual club www.seekbi.com on heart blog. Most of us like-minded people are deeply moved by her honest words. Thanks for making us accepted by others. We are really proud of us. happy life is up to you.
34. Right - April 1, 2009 10:28 AM
It's funny how you liberals discount Fox News just because they don't tell you what you want to hear and what you've been brainwashed to think by the liberal run gov't schools and media. So just keep on thinking that Biraq Obummer is gonna save the country by expanding the gov't and turning the dollar into a peso by spending more money than Bush could've ever dreamed of. Silly little liberal sheep. Hey, did you get your bribe money for voting for Obummer yet? Didn't think so.
35. cheech - April 3, 2009 3:14 AM
at # 30
she's going bald because she messes with her hair too damn much with all the dyes, relaxers, and weaves. traction alopecia will mess your shiiiiiit up!! its bad enough she has a huge ass forehead, but the fact that her hair line is receding, exposing her five head even more is just plain out funny. i wonder what her hair line will look like in a couple years, i can imagine it will be completely destroyed, and be pushed back to the crown of her head.
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