Mar 18 2009Madonna's Jesus finding new disciples?
Somebody's spending a night in the scorpion tank. Jesus Luz the 22-year-old Brazilian model boyfriend of Madonna was spotted partying with several ladies in Rio de Janeiro, according to Page Six:
"There was a bash for Jesus on Saturday night," writes our Brazilian spy. "More than 30 revelers partied so late into the night, the cops were called. Jesus was there the whole night, flirting with various girls at the party . . . he had lots of fun with the local female company."
Maybe if Madonna spent more time at home and less time teaching Gwyneth Paltrow how to paralyze her enemies with fear using the Banshee Shriek, her man wouldn't be out all hours of the night cat-calling around. Tell her, girlfriends.

Reader Comments
1. first - March 18, 2009 3:18 PM
first
2. Chris Brown - March 18, 2009 3:21 PM
Better make the sign of the cross, bitch, cuz her comes a bash for Jesus.
3. Sid - March 18, 2009 3:23 PM
Girls? Really? Jesus seems like he swings the other way, like he's looking for a doubting Thomas to put his finger in his hole...
4. Natasha Richardson - March 18, 2009 3:24 PM
Sounds like he did a little skiing on the bunny slopes, if you know what I mean.
5. Lisa - March 18, 2009 3:25 PM
Madonna's complexion is looking pretty radiant.
I'm sure her and Gwyneth are laughing about how they bath in virgin blood for some twisted Kabbalah ritual to remain young forever.
6. Jrz - March 18, 2009 3:26 PM
"Jesus was there the whole night, flirting with various girls at the party "
Hee hee....I mean.....it just sounds funny, like the Lord was hangin wit some hotties, like Sexy Jesus on Hamlet 2.
7. Jennyjenjen - March 18, 2009 3:27 PM
She has red-wine mouth going on..
8. RichPort's Ghost - March 18, 2009 3:28 PM
This sinewy hands... I wake up screaming about hands like that...
9. pete - March 18, 2009 3:30 PM
Hey, Madonna, can't you pop just few more forearm veins?
10. 1 MILF Hunter - March 18, 2009 3:30 PM
Jesus was looking for women that aren't old enough to be his mom and the leathery equipment that goes with it.
11. Jrz - March 18, 2009 3:31 PM
Pic #3: Why....I don't know why I'm such a douchbag, Madonna....that is a superb question, however, and I will turn to Kabballah for enlightenment
12. waiter - March 18, 2009 3:33 PM
Oh great, I get the table with AlwaysPosing and ShitEatingGrin. I can't wait until they try to flirt with me by making barely disguised hostile "little boy" comments...
13. Richard McBeef - March 18, 2009 3:36 PM
it's pretty sad when you are such a washed up old hag that you make g. paltrow look smoking hot.
14. Andy - March 18, 2009 3:40 PM
I'd punch 'em both in the vagina but I don't want to get bite marks on my fist.
15. Mr. Jones - March 18, 2009 3:42 PM
In that first pic, Madge looks like she's fiending for some gold-pressed latinum.
Or the precious... yeesssss.. my precious
16. Amber - March 18, 2009 3:50 PM
Love the captions lately!
17. Amber - March 18, 2009 3:50 PM
Love the captions lately!
18. Plobes - March 18, 2009 3:54 PM
Madonna looks gorgeous in these pics
props to her plastic surgeon!
19. Julie - March 18, 2009 4:08 PM
Three words, Madonna...
Crest White Strips.
20. ItsFullOfPoop - March 18, 2009 4:08 PM
Gwyneth Paltrow just might be the whitest woman who ever lived...
21. Star Wars Book Reviews - March 18, 2009 4:09 PM
Two women well past their primes!
22. درافريقاى - March 18, 2009 4:13 PM
مبادرت كننده بخود كشى, انتحار, خودويرانگرى, خود كش, خود كش خودكشى كردنهواپيماى بمب افكن, بمب
translation:
Wheres a suicide bomber when you need one?
I swear the hadjis could fix their relationship with the world if they would take requests!...stupid bitches.
23. sapphire eyes - March 18, 2009 4:13 PM
In pic #4 Madge is wearing a huge cross ... and Gwenyth is sporting that cheap $0.03 piece of red string.
I wonder where Chris Martin has been lately. Haven't seen too many pics of the 'happy English family' around lately.
...just saying...
24. Actress Scene - March 18, 2009 4:18 PM
Madonna is hot
25. Gando - March 18, 2009 4:19 PM
Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna sharing the same glass!? I didn't know these two where this close!
26. Nero - March 18, 2009 4:22 PM
Italian background means lotta wine and dine!
27. Sauron - March 18, 2009 4:26 PM
Women and wine! Tell me about it! There's not much else what makes them getting in the mood!
28. JJ Daddy-O - March 18, 2009 5:12 PM
I look at these pictures an all I can think of is the word "wizened". LOOK IT UP, YO.
29. Crucible of the Armpit Virgins - March 18, 2009 6:02 PM
Jesus fucking Christ getting a lap dance. How can you get over 40 and STILL look like a total skank? I bet her buh-gina looks like a pitted prune and smells like vegetarian chile.
30. anna999 - March 18, 2009 7:19 PM
I found a great site """"" Meetwealthy .c om............ """""" It 's where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!
I thought everyone needed to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy :).,.,.,.
31. ishi-san - March 18, 2009 8:20 PM
i can see where Lourdes got the eyebrow(s) from
32. jBiGGs - March 18, 2009 9:11 PM
heathin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
33. Katherine - March 18, 2009 10:45 PM
Actually, Madonna's finally looking a lot better, it looks like she's put some much-needed weight on, good. She kind of reminds me of early 90's Madonna (hair, make-up, clothes) and that is a good thing.
34. Helen - March 18, 2009 11:46 PM
This story was totally stolen on http://hollywoodcelebrityblog.blogspot.com/2009/03/madonnas-jesus-finding-new-disciples.html
35. gerard Vandenberg - March 19, 2009 1:47 AM
what did madonna eat?
......................DEAD PARROTS, folks?
36. Maturity Denied - March 19, 2009 7:25 AM
This woman is 50 fucking years old. Why doesn't she do something worthwhile or at least act her fucking age? She is an old woman now. And she is taking good care of her I am quite sure naturally hairy pussy's needs for cock with a guy more than half her age. And yet, she is raising children.She wants to adopt more poor kids. Yeah she is the next rich Mother Teresa with an active libido and grey (naturally) cunt hair.
The other whore is one of the Great Cunts of Earth. How old is that one, 45?
Ahhhh to be able to have so little skill and talent and worth to civilization and so much money! So much money for the few for their meaningless endeavors! That's what we are here for. To enrich the rich by grinding away our lives to support them!
Remember back in the days before we all worshipped the same god? We had dozens of gods to think about. Now we have famous people instead! We used to make sacrifices to them. Now we spent tons of money to watch movies.
Nothing ever really changes in essence. Only in form. Same elements, different molecules.
37. mikeock - March 19, 2009 8:11 AM
Looks like madonna ordered cock for dinner.
38. zen - March 19, 2009 9:26 AM
They look the same age and I don't mean this to be a complement.
39. jimz80 - March 19, 2009 9:33 AM
pic #4 - Paltrow has the squarest jaw I've ever seen on a chick.
40. gerard Vandenberg - March 19, 2009 9:53 AM
Those "WEIRD" front TEETH must definitrely be a big stine in her shoe for about fourty years, folks!!
41. shanemax - March 19, 2009 9:56 AM
Two nasty hags with bad bleach jobs and black roots wearing Kabbalah bracelets probably discussing how much they hate America while speaking with a fake British accent. Why can't they go skiing and not wear helmets?
42. lucy - March 19, 2009 9:58 AM
SHE LOOKS LIKE EVERY OLD RICH JEWISH WOMAN WHICH SHE IS
43. kline - March 19, 2009 10:09 AM
nais
44. jonas - March 19, 2009 11:59 AM
madonna is so damn hot, jesus girl friend is just a friend.she never date him.she already said that jesus just says wonderfull things about madge.and madonna looks hot for 50
45. liza - March 19, 2009 9:48 PM
madonnas never short of men, jjesus was just a break, she'll just move onto the next married man
46. Tracey - March 19, 2009 9:54 PM
Madonna looks like Priscilla Presley now. They could be twins! Poor Old Madge.
47. Mary - March 19, 2009 10:15 PM
Hope Gwen doesn't ruin her marriage.
48. ldy - March 20, 2009 10:02 AM
Good new, Funny!
49. dfng - April 4, 2009 9:14 AM
Nice............