Mar 16 2009Jessica Simpson: 'Must. Never. Stop. Wearing. Cutoffs.'

Brooke again, wtf? Two stories in one day???

...oh...wait...it's Jessica...

Arrested Development FTW.

Eww...

You show me a naked dinosaur and I'll show you my O-face.

She's just being practical. With her thighs adding more thunder every day, she'd have to buy a new pair of jeans every week.

I'd be happy to be her analyst-therapist.

Never nudes are no laughing matter. There are dozens of us!

There are dozens of us! Dozens!

Must be a real privilege to be the assistant who gets to scrub the shorts with Monistat each night.

I'd lick that up down and all around until she shot gravy..then would go back for seconds..thirds..fourths....etc. she's hot..and I would love to have her press those thighs up against my ears.

I LOVE HER LEGS!!! As long as she doesn't get cankles, she'll be hot in my book. I wish I could be gettin' busy with her!!!

i don't get it.

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT!! I normally don't ever comment but ..

it had to be admired.

well she can't exactly show off her toned stomach, now can she? at this point, girl is out of options. it's the legs or the gut--take your pick.

#10, you wouldn't do shit and you know it. You're a friggin douchebag. I guarantee you have never tasted pussy in your life.

"until she shot gravy"...WTF?

Straight up douchebag. Congrats.

she could crush a guy's skull with those thighs.

pic 5, looks like a hardcore singer

I'd love her to choke me out with those thighs :-b

I always thought he just really liked cut offs.

Where's my legal Sweetie??

She wears cutoffs because she cannot squeeze her fat thighs and ass into anything that covers more than her crotch.

Those are bermuda shorts on anyone else, by the way.

Crisis time is cutoffs time!? It's good to see that Jessica simpson has a warm heart for the folks!

Thanks for the memories #6. I had completely forgotten about that joke.

Great muscular legs! What's her 100 meter time!?

She reminds of a sorority girl that put on the mandatory 5-15 pounds over her freshmen winter months, and is now trying to squeeze back into her summer outfits and is realizing just how big she's gotten, so she starts fucking 2-3 guys a weekend to feel better about herself.

I felt bad for her at first but now all my sympathy is gone, she's an annoying attention whore, and nobody looks good in clothes that are 3 sizes too small..adding a bigger button-up doesn't make it look better either, nor does it make her 'country'

I saw her Friday night with Rascal Flatts in San Diego ("outside LA." that cracks me up) and she looked damn good! :O) She can wear daisy dukes anytime! She looked hot and the singing wasn't so bad either....

I saw her Friday night with Rascal Flatts in San Diego ("outside LA." that cracks me up) and she looked damn good! :O) She can wear daisy dukes anytime! She looked hot and the singing wasn't so bad either....

I'd still stick her, but . . .
http://img167.imageshack.us/img167/5238/hardcore.jpg

I think the bigger issue here is when she is going to finally reveal that she is pregnant. Or is she gonna let us find out on our own?

She looks pretty good imo. I like the curves.

I NEVER comment but I HAD to give some Arrested Development love! Amazingness!

dugg for arrested development reference

Nein Wohlstandig Nude

hahaha a never nude. That makes things awkward at the Korean spa.

#30 Fati, if you can't tell a pregnancy bump from all-over weight gain from too much wings, pizza, beer, guacamole, nachos and funnel cake stay the hell out of Acapulco and Papa Ginos. It'll only be embarassing for you when you try to file a paternity suit against them.

i love this bitch

When you say "outside Los Angeles' do you mean "strip mall in the desert"?

Marvel should cast her as the new Thor. Or maybe Joe Ruby's Thundarr the Barbarian. Or not...

Just because she sings country music, doesn't mean she needs to dress like she just walked out of her double wide trailer for her job at Walmart.

She looks terrible and pathetic. Of course, she'll have the last laugh when she announces that she and her trapped boyfriend are expecting.

Perhaps something in a lovely MooMoo, Jessica. Now THAT'S what all the really "hot" babes are wearing!

No. Really. I'm telling you the truth. As far as you know.

Love the arrested development reference!

She has creepy short midget legs. Ew!

I love the haters on here. EVERY SINGLE GUY on here would pay for an opportunity to taste her...and more. But thats ok, you fat asses keep sitting there making fun of her while eating your donuts, drinking your latte's and taking in 4000 calories a day (and countless carbs).

Shes a fucking HOT ASS woman and Id guarantee shes looks better than any of your wives, girlfriends, transvestite lovers or hermaphrodite partners (the last 2 thrown in to cover you west coast flakes).

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you.

TOBIAS FUNKE!!!!

why did they take that show off? ;(

This girl should quit trying so hard. She could be a real talent if she would just cool it with the southern girl act. I know she's from Texas, but to me she just always seems like she's trying to force the issue on everyone and using it to sell herself and it really falls flat. I liked her better when she dressed nice and sang pretty.

does this woman own a mirror?

#44 Yeah yeah yeah, we'll are jealous uggo fatties and haterz here - every 14 year old girl who still loved chubby Britty Spears when she shaved her head beat that one to death so you know where that puts you, dude. If you like the look, fine. But here's a radical concept for ya, not everyone who dislikes thick muscular legs in strappy sandals under a body crammed into too-tight clothing is a jealous hating fatty. It's called taste. We also know we have value and unlike Jessica we don't have to dress like this out of desperation to prove it. If her looks are now a sexual turnoff because she indulged in a lot of overeating and she's still promoting herself as sexy, people will react. accordingly. And just so you know Jessica won't be calling to thank you and autograph your Sociology 101 textbook anytime soon.

Annyong!

Still Fat

I KNEW IT! I knew you watched arrested development. Ahhh I'm in love.

I'd munch that shaved twat in the middle of Yankee Stadium on opening day

props for the arrested development reference

#36 - it just seems to me that if this was just fat, she would have dropped it by now because of all the criticism. i still think she is pregnant.

#50

ANNYONG!!!!!!!!!!

44. Mike Oxbhig

Yeah that's pretty much how it is on this site tons of women ripping into hot chicks. I figure is because the guys that come her to look at pix usually don't post anything. I know I don't.

#55 Just how fast do you think someone can lose weight without resorting to either liposuction or meth? Since she "eats her feelings" and heads to food she probably went straight to the loaded nachos when that chili cookoff picture was posted a little over a month ago and packed on a bit more. Sorry, this looks like all-over weight gain from not passing up seconds or thirds on comfort or junk food, and it never comes off as fast as it goes on.

This pics look like someone took body wax and a bottle of bleach to Sasquatch

LONG LIVE ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT!!

Viva! VIVA!!!

ALLUSIONS Michael! Tricks are what whores do for money.

#49

hit a nerve with the fatty comment huh tubbs? Its ok...you can still dream youre not one of the ones I was talking about right?

Sociology 101? How cute...you think everyone who posts here is a stupid ass that lacks common sense and needs to take BS courses like Sociology.

Just keep digging a deeper and deeper hole for yourself dont you?

Tell you what...you hop back in your little mommy & daddy funded hybrid and get back to your liberal arts major and let the grown ups explain how things really are...with the hard truth.

Hurts dont it? Dont worry, youll forget about it sitting in class being told what an awful person you are (if youre white) and what an awful country you live in, all the while being trained to be stupider than you already are.

suckah...

Don't care what she wears, just shut her up and do not let her sing!!

Ok heres the Deal: Jessica simpson is a petite gal with big boobs anytime she puts some weight on her boobs will reflect that plus she doesnt have any waist and has a small ass, though her face is beautiful, she should wear outfits that flatter her figure so we could stop picking on her!

One word... CLYDESDALE

She is still fat...just trying to hide it. Her legs are the size of a rhino's. BOOM..BOOM.."Ahhh...run for your lives it's time for Jessica to eat!!!".

Mike Oxbhig you are annoying. shut up.

#62 Oh, please. "Hit a nerve"? "Hurts don't it"? In your dreams, bitter little man.
The only exposed nerve here is you, you just outed yourself. Talk about digging a hole deeper - guess who sounds jealous because mommy and daddy never bought Mikey a car? So everyone who disagrees with you about Simpson must not only be fat themselves, but also a west coast liberal green trust fund college student? Since you're defending an alarming lack of self discipline and indulgence on Simpson's part here I'm sort of bemused as to how this squares with the your obvious resentment of weak characterless liberals etc etc etc. and the "hard truth" (whatever you imagine that to be). Your logic is pretty pathetic and stunted, and, sad to say, it does read like someone who's cracked a psych or socio book for the first time - but while listening to Limbaugh. In other words, someone who doesn't do much thinking for themselves but prefers to be spoon fed a pat ideology, who clings to the comfort of knee-jerk generalities, the triter the better.

Justifiable just handed Mike Oxface his/her ass on a platter! Well said, Justifiable. You speak for many of us sick to the death of that "you're just jealous" bullshit. Guaranteed Mike is sitting at home sobbing into his copy of Newlyweds Season 3 wearing a pair of JS platforms.

Oh and by the way, Mike - "adults" know that the contraction "don't" needs an apostrophe.
Damn you're clever! Can we all be you when we grow up?

I saw on a tabloid cover that wearing cutoffs and gut-restraining corsets and such is supposed to be viewed as a personal triumph for Jess.

Her legs weren't really the trouble area to begin with.

Maybe she should just button up that flannel shirt and look cuddly.

#769/70 Thanks, STFUM, but mostly for that vision of the platforms - which is both sort of nauseating yet too fuckin' funny.

Simpson continued her tradition of forgetting the lyrics last night to two songs in Irvine - and then starting the whole song over. She was booed and the OC Register stated her singing "left a lot to be desired," adding her "fame is far more reaching than her talent deserves."
Well, I'm sure even Mikey's familiar with THAT Orange County - otherwise known as where rock-ribbed Reagan Republicans go to die. Well, it IS the west coast, but I guess OC must've become a radical hotbed of jealous fatass liberals overnight to be booing her like that - if you follow Mikey's "logic", that is.

I think the new Jessica looks damn hot
I like a bit of meat on a gal

asside from her body and clothing choices has she just given up on her hair too, it looks like it hasn't been brushed in days.
is she falling apart and just letting everything go?
I think she my have some depression issues.

God, I used to love Jessica, in her Newlyweds/Daisy Duke days....she was SERIOUSLY AMAZINGLY HOT. Perfect blond hair, beautiful face, too die for body....NOW she has tranny legs, her upper half is all flab and she pumps her lips and her hair looks unwashed and ratty.
JESSICA!!!! WHERE DID YOU GO????!!!! COME BACK!!!! She used to be the sexiest Top 5 hottest women in the world, now.....WTF??!! I've gone from No.1 fan to zilch. Frustrating.

anyone ever consider the possibility that she hasn't been able to yank those things off her fat ass since she squeezed back into them??? They just roll her down to the car wash a couple times a week and stick the high pressure nozzle down her ass crack to flush them out....

HAHA i love the title of the entry!

but seriously... her legs don't look bad at all? why is everyone saying they look fat? they look strong and muscular to me...

#77 They are muscular - but the sight of Hulk Hogan in heels doesn't exactly do it for me. She's just thick all over.

# 58 - there are a LOT of ways to drop weight in even a week. they may not be the healthiest ways, but showbiz people do resort to them when they need to lose a few pounds quickly. i am not saying that she can't just be fat. it's entirely possible. i just don't want to think that she is that stupid.

#68, 69, 70 & 72

WOW...talk to yourself much?

You sure got your ass handed to you with the quickness and didnt take it very well , showing your little emotional defensive side! Your dribble and multiple personalities only proved Mikes point further. Way to go libby.

Now go get back in your hybrid and head to your phish coverband show. While your at it, maybe take a few too many extra hits of X or GHB, doing the world a favor and ODing.

Its so funny watching people that get spanked in one post come back and show their true colors afterwards. Poor poor libtard.

She's made a huge miskate!

Ahh, I fucked that up, didn't I?

#75, you hit the nail on the head. What a beautiful girl she used to be. It must be drugs. So sad. She was an inspiration to pop music. Now, it's total Wal Mart trash.

#80 Nice try Mike Oxtard but you suck at being clever.

Gotta like'em strong meaty legs. I think this girl looks wonderful.

#85, do you have a girlfriend? :D

Mike Oxbig should just STFU. his posts lack any logic and are painfully unfunny.

to all guys here saying that whoever critizes JS is jealous:
I am not jealous. When I see a beautiful girl, I admit that she is beautiful even though I wouldn't want her to live next door. Cheryl Tweedy is amazing. Alessandra Ambrosio is super cute. Analynne McCord's body (not face!) is unbelivable...... I can go on.
JS is a fat pig. She needs to lose 30 lbs, have a nose job like her ugly sister did, stop injecting her lips, and do something about her butt chin. The fact is JS is fat and unattractive.
Please hold your comments about me being a fat ugly female flipping burgers in my mom's basement. they are so played.

Ok, Irvine can be considered "outside LA". But San Diego is a freaking major metropolitan city, over two hours from that nasty stinking crap hole called Los Angeles. Not 'outside LA'. GET IT RIGHT.

#89 You're all fatass hybrid-driving libtards you west coast Cali HOMOS.

hittin buttons and flippin switches with the truth.

keep hatin, Im lovin it.. I got it right and you can't take it.

Her?

Oh Tobias....."I like the way they shape my junk" haha

No! No......! I will not let this make me eat!!

Your AD reference made my day!

why are her legs so muscular. i guess its better than fat but if u cover up the top half of her body..those could easily be a man's legs.

alright for all you people that are wondering out loud why she doesn't look like her newlyweds/dukes of hazzard self anymore. well i'm gonna lay it all out for you. She is not 22,23 or 25 anymore. the woman is pushing 30. while 30 is not old by any means, it is old enough where a person's, esp women, super young cuteness wears off and their true looks come through. and her metabolism is probably slowing as well so the things she did to keep in shape before aren't working as well now. that is why you fellas out there gotta find yourself a naturally beautiful woman. not a bleach blonde, heavily made up kind of girl. because those types turn to this. and jess isn't horrible to look at but shes not a show stopper anymore. and the dark tanning that looks so good when they're 22 will not leave them looking very good in their 30s and 40s either. jess is clearly a product of those things so take a good look.