Feb 20 2009Madonna bringing Jesus to the Oscars
Probably because A-Rod publicly admitted to juicing himself up and therefore has tiny testicles, sources for OK! Magazine say Madonna's bringing her Brazilian model boyfriend Jesus Luz to the Oscars on Sunday. Nobody knows about his testicles, so it only makes sense:
“Madonna and Jesus have spent all week planning their outfits for Oscar night,” a pal tells OK! “Madonna is planning on using the Vanity Fair party to introduce Jesus to the world as her new boyfriend, and she wants everything to be perfect!"
So why all the fuss if Jesus is just a fling? It seems Madge is getting serious about her latest conquest.
"She’ll put to rest any rumor that Jesus was ‘just a model’ during that racy W photo shoot," the source adds. "Madonna and Jesus’ romance is real.”
Because I'm a man of science, I made passionate love to a bag of sand a few minutes ago. Just to try and get into the head of a kid like Jesus Luz. You're a freaking model, but yet you settle for Grandma Sinew. I guess what my main question is: What do you use for the chafing? And also the bleeding, loss of skin, dizziness, etc.? Time is a factor. *THUD*
Photos: Splash News
Reader Comments
1. Whatthefuckisthat? - February 20, 2009 4:01 PM
jesus...
2. CandyO - February 20, 2009 4:04 PM
That's it for me.
Since some ASSHOLE is stealing my name I am out of here.
3. mimi - February 20, 2009 4:08 PM
CandyO, come back!
4. mztry - February 20, 2009 4:11 PM
What is the deal with imposters?
Do these people have nothing better to do with their time?
Are they that dissatisfied with their own personalities?
5. anjhest - February 20, 2009 4:14 PM
How biblical.
6. CANDYO - February 20, 2009 4:15 PM
CANDYO'S LAST POST EVER!
3. mimi - YOU are not MIMI! I HATE this website... so GOOD-BYE!
This place is full of woman hating asshole jerks!
I am leaving just as mimi did.
7. kale - February 20, 2009 4:17 PM
top ten!!!
8. FRIST!!! - February 20, 2009 4:17 PM
WTF is she doing going to the Oscars anyway? She's not married to a movie producer or director or whatever Ritchie was / is, and she sure as hell can't act. And ok, she's just creepy nowadays..
9. p0nk - February 20, 2009 4:17 PM
seems like a good match to me, i'd be shocked if a male brazilian model was into women.
10. angeleyes - February 20, 2009 4:19 PM
i'm leaving too. just like CandyO and mimi.
11. mztry - February 20, 2009 4:22 PM
I agree with CandyO. This website attracts a lot of mean spirited people
12. Binky - February 20, 2009 4:24 PM
Since when did these Kabbalah weirdos find Jesus ?
13. CandyO - February 20, 2009 4:25 PM
(I'm not really leaving. I'm just taking time off while mimi sits on my face...)
14. ALEX - February 20, 2009 4:25 PM
Does the Oscar deserve our time and attention?
These are the facts:
http://www.film.com/features/story/dark-knight-snub-unforgivable-because/25665649
15. mztry - February 20, 2009 4:29 PM
13. CandyO - I sincerely doubt you are a woman.
I suspect you are an imposter. Could you maybe get a life?
16. Jennyjenjen - February 20, 2009 4:30 PM
Trying not to be mean spirited.. but Mimi, you are really tripping me out..
17. AdnanGhalib - February 20, 2009 4:34 PM
This brazilian chippendale knows where to go for the big bucks. Ball a granny you say? It's easy to get up for the job when there so much easy money to be had. If I had hair on my head I'd go for madonna too. Since I don't I'll have to continue to do the rich fruit loops like Britney. She luvs my staff of power.
18. Matthew - February 20, 2009 4:35 PM
madonna will be interviewed at the red carpet with her fake british accent!
19. FRIST!!! - February 20, 2009 4:43 PM
I'm leaving too!!
20. scotty - February 20, 2009 4:44 PM
why is Vadge even going to the Oscars? she's completely irrelevant as far as movies are concerned.
21. scotty - February 20, 2009 4:45 PM
why is Vadge even going to the Oscars? she's completely irrelevant as far as movies are concerned.
22. Amy - February 20, 2009 4:45 PM
now he doesn't look so hot.... maybe he shouldn't wear clothes.
23. p0nk - February 20, 2009 4:55 PM
praying for mimi...
24. Siligrl - February 20, 2009 4:58 PM
# 16. Jennyjenjen - Don't take the brown acid if yoiu don't want to trip out!
25. angeleyes - February 20, 2009 5:00 PM
Hi everyone. I'm gonna stay if that matters.
26. massa - February 20, 2009 5:08 PM
# 25 angeleyes
No one cares. We hate you
27. p0nk - February 20, 2009 5:09 PM
I am an idiot.... don't listen to me!
28. FRIST!!! - February 20, 2009 5:10 PM
#21, #8 already covered that.
Oh, wait, I forgot, I'm outta here.
Angeleyes, you can take it from here, if you like picking through retards and psychos (not me, the bad kind)..
29. havoc - February 20, 2009 5:11 PM
LOVE THE SEAL PHOTO!!!
.
30. angeleyes - February 20, 2009 5:12 PM
No, I'm committing suicide! I am an idiot 2!
31. mimi - February 20, 2009 5:14 PM
I WANT TO BE MIMI!
32. XanaxFiend - February 20, 2009 5:14 PM
Madonna is so lame.
She's a complete zit to the movie industry and gay people hate her now.
Jesus can do better. You can tell he's like Gisele (dating Leo for the fame)
33. mimi - February 20, 2009 5:15 PM
I am mimi.
34. angeleyes - February 20, 2009 5:17 PM
Let ME be mimi!
35. havoc - February 20, 2009 5:19 PM
I've gotta meet this mimi.
36. XanaxFiend - February 20, 2009 5:21 PM
Shutup #11.
Honesty is always confused for mean-ness.
Take a fucking xanax and stop being such a bendover queen
37. XanaxFiend - February 20, 2009 5:22 PM
And by the way, I am mimi.
38. mztry - February 20, 2009 5:26 PM
Dear Mister XanaxFiend,
Thank you for proving my point.
39. XanaxFiend - February 20, 2009 5:31 PM
You bet your ass I'm mimi.
40. TUBBO - February 20, 2009 5:35 PM
Chuy................
41. havoc - February 20, 2009 5:36 PM
I'll bet your ass you're mimi!
42. XanaxFiend - February 20, 2009 5:36 PM
You made a point, mztry?
43. Fati - February 20, 2009 6:08 PM
Madonna should be ashamed of herself. He is 30 years younger than her. That's absolutely disgusting. I don't even wanna picture that boy banging her.
44. OMG I'M LEAVING! - February 20, 2009 6:30 PM
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
45. Spenceer - February 20, 2009 6:35 PM
I saw his profile on millionaire & celebrity dating club____MillionaireLoving. C O M____last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site.
46. Mimi - February 20, 2009 6:54 PM
Look bitch, I AM MIMI why don't you go away you schizoid cunt? Please leave me alone and get your own life why are you feeding off of mine?
MY GOD you are killing me! Why what have I done what have I done to deserve this oh no fuck.
47. XanaxFiend - February 20, 2009 7:07 PM
No, I'm mimi and if you fail to get it I swear I'll break a baby's legs and it'll be your fault.
48. ConstancePated - February 20, 2009 7:38 PM
Hey, if this douche bag wants her, I say let him have her. Gets her off the street.
Just thinking about Madonna makes me have to purge my bowels....brb
49. Jennyjenjen - February 20, 2009 7:41 PM
The real Mimi can solve this by answering a simple question. Just like the credit card companies ask for your mother's maiden name... A question needs to be asked that only Mimi can answer. For example, What is the date of Amy Winehouse's last release from the hospital? Or, How many hospital bracelets does Amy Winehouse have on her right wrist and what color are they, in alphabetical order? When was the last time Amy Winehouse changed her nasty ballet slippers? If Amy Winehouse was one of Mimi's cats, what would her name be? :o)
50. Justin - February 20, 2009 8:36 PM
You know, I'm happy for Madonna and Jesus. It really seems like a match made in heaven.
51. Steve Berryman - February 20, 2009 8:37 PM
You know, I'm happy for Madonna and Jesus. It really seems like a match made in heaven.
52. Jennyjenjen - February 20, 2009 9:04 PM
46. Mimi - FAKE FAKE FAKE
mimi only prays for people... and she NEVER used bad words unless they were directed at MEN.
53. angeleyes - February 20, 2009 9:13 PM
46. Mimi -
mimi always spells it lower case... so it ain't you.
54. lucy - February 20, 2009 9:15 PM
She is so hot. I have seen his profile on ____Millionaire Romances com______, she is welcomed by a lot of rich singles and celebs here. She is looking for passion and excitement?
55. M? - February 20, 2009 9:42 PM
who is Mimi?
56. angeleyes - February 20, 2009 9:51 PM
mimi... (all lower case) is the one who always posts like this-
Praying for Amy, or praying for Britney or praying for praying or some such stuff.
Always praying, so she's on her knees a lot!
57. gerard Vandenberg - February 20, 2009 11:48 PM
JESUS is everywhere, folks!!
58. Fati - February 21, 2009 2:21 AM
The ironic thing is that Madonna and Jesus are supposed to be a mother and a son. Disgusting.
59. g_girl - February 21, 2009 6:29 AM
Jesus is hot!!! hahaha
60. feckless - February 21, 2009 6:50 AM
He's eye candy for sure, better than the Jesus that mows my yard.
61. TJ - February 21, 2009 9:02 AM
The Oscars are no longer relevant. The numbers watching it are low, the products are usually immoral and/or unpatriotic, the hosts are America-hating jerks, and lately the winners are Affirmative-Action type picks. Meh.
62. KT - February 21, 2009 10:42 AM
people really impress me sometimes... Anna Nicole Smith (model!) marries a guy four times older and worth a billion dollars and everyone says, "she married him for the money!!!" now this young hot guy (model!) is dating an older woman worth millions and everyone says, "eeeew why is he doing this?!?!?" do the math.
63. asshole - February 21, 2009 10:53 AM
I am an asshole!
Whever I post this picture you can smell my ass!
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........@@@........@@......(0__0).........@@........
........@.............@@..............U..............@@@....
.......@...........@@@.../^^^^ww^^^^\....@@@.... *
.......................@@...({..\-----O-----/..})...@@@@
..................@@@....CandyO is Gay...@@@..
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64. CandyO is BACK with a vengeance! - February 21, 2009 11:17 AM
I do not paste stupid pictures.
I never say nasty things about woman - only asshole MEN!
This is how you will know if it is a CandyO imposter!
______________________________________________
I'm the real CandyO!
And for you to know me so
I will always speak in rhyme
I will do this every time
If my imposter tries the same
You will notice he's to blame
For some badly written prose
Not in cadence as mine shows
Intelligence, emotion too
So please try not to misconstrue
The fakery of jerks like him
Who always leave me feeling grim
So I devised this plan today
To prove that in my heartfelt way
You will always truly know
This post was made by CandyO!
65. coffeeshopdating - February 21, 2009 1:44 PM
Oh Madonna, she is suffering from a mid-life crisis. I think she shares the same steroids dealer as a-roid. Maybe she will be indicted as well!
66. ilovehandsome - February 21, 2009 2:07 PM
Well, he is the kind of most attractive man for me, if I am as handsome as him, i will look for a beautiful and rich lady at ^^^^^^^ C e l e b m i n g l e. C0M^^^^^^^^
67. jonnas - February 21, 2009 8:41 PM
y y and where is the pic??keave her alone.my god.i know that madonna make u sell a lot of publicity but c'mon.leave the queen alone
68. hazmat - February 21, 2009 11:50 PM
AnthonyTriolo.com - DELICIOUS!!
69. hazmat - February 22, 2009 1:39 AM
I AM AN ASSHOLE!
70. nadia - February 22, 2009 6:10 PM
How dare someone is sooo weird to compare Madonna to a bag of sand???
She is beautiful and surely not dry, weirdo Man of Science.
How about when a guy is 30 older,..it is all nice???
but when it is the opposite it is not? you are the one with the problem...:)
71. bmose - February 22, 2009 9:55 PM
He needs her to renew his Green Card.
72. . - February 23, 2009 5:20 AM
i wonder if he has seen midnight cowboy
73. herbiefrog - March 2, 2009 5:23 PM
probably...
...much too late [
to post in this trhead?
anyway... this woz now : )
glad that you enjoyed it
we dont do parties
[incred...what?
shhh
74. ILoveJesus! - March 18, 2009 7:09 AM
OHHHHHHHH, the things I would let this man do to me. He is beautiful. And he is sweet Jesus. I'd be screaming, 'Oh God', all night long. You amazing man, you. I wish I could give him my phone number....WOW.
75. jenny - March 19, 2009 11:07 PM
DISGUSTING! she is old enough to be his grandmother. and it is a thousand times more disgusting than if a man was dating a woman 30 years younger than him, because men can still have children. madonna is 51 and went through menopause a long time ago. she is a pervert trying to hold on to her youth even though she is in her 50s now