Feb 3 2009Bret Michaels wants to put his thorn in Jennifer Aniston's rose
Also at the premiere of He's Just Not That Into You which Celebuzz reports she didn't even stay and watch, was Jennifer Aniston who's got herself a new admirer in Bret Michaels. You gotta admire the man's horribly-placed confidence. NY Daily News reports:
“Bret is really crushing on Jen,” a pal of Michaels confides. “He says she’s the kind of girl you can have a good time with, but can still take home to Mom.”
But despite the fact he's got more STD's than Paris Hilton duct-taped to Pamela Anderson, Bret might actually have a chance. John Mayer is starting to get sick of being a dull, ineffectual knife wielded at Brad Pitt:
“John’s goal is to keep a low profile this year, and Jen is about as far off from low-profile as you can get,” a source tells us. “He just wants to keep out of the spotlight and finally concentrate on his music.”
Mayer is working on an album tentatively titled “Battle Studies,” a followup to 2006’s “Continuum.” “He’s always in and out of the studio,” a second insider reveals. “That’s his focus.”
Of course, there's only one legally binding way to settle this: A battle of the bands. Whoever transforms a cop car into a hot tub full of bikini babes with their rock wins Jennifer as his lusty wench. Because, sometimes, the old-fashioned ways are the most romantic ways. Until the cocaine wears off and Vince Neil's all like "Hey, let's go to Denny's."
Reader Comments
1. Particle)Man - February 3, 2009 2:04 PM
So the skanks on Rock of Love Bus didn't work out after all!?! Go figure.
RFIST!
2. Richard McBeef - February 3, 2009 2:10 PM
you are gay if you wouldn't.
3. Kip Winger - February 3, 2009 2:10 PM
This is fucking awesome news dudes.. If this works out maybe I can finally get with Kate Beckinsale.
4. Andy - February 3, 2009 2:14 PM
I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work, there, Bret ... for one thing, when you ask Jen to strip for you, the area below her landing strip will turn into the Sahara.
5. effyeray - February 3, 2009 2:16 PM
Even a nimrod like Bret Michaels can do better than Hagiston. And to all the gay dudes & fat chicks get on here and say she's pretty and too good for whatever.... just don't. Don't. She should die so some new talentless semi-cute girl can act like the same emotionless whiner in every role she plays....
6. klimmie - February 3, 2009 2:16 PM
If her gets with her it will be the most unlikely hookup since Heidi Klum and Seal.
POR FAVOR!!!!
7. jrz - February 3, 2009 2:18 PM
He seems to be stuck in 1988.
8. Kim - February 3, 2009 2:20 PM
BTW, at least John Mayer is a real musician. Michaels is just a joke.
9. Pathetic Worm - February 3, 2009 2:45 PM
I pity the fool that says yes to a tit wank.
10. mailman - February 3, 2009 2:46 PM
vince neil most definitely hit up the free denny's breakfast this morning. twice.
(http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/technology/2009/02/dennys.html)
11. jim - February 3, 2009 2:51 PM
This girl is lost anyway and will never have babies.
12. Anexio - February 3, 2009 2:52 PM
OMG! Is Jen Connley preggers again?
I'm so happy for her and she can act to.
13. Shep - February 3, 2009 2:53 PM
Just when you thought Jenn's sex life couldn't get anymore pathetic then John Mayer....... Q Bret Michaels. So from a guy who everybody thought took it in the ass to a guy who's band is the ass of everybody's jokes. Ha and you thought there wasn't a connection!
14. FRIST!!! - February 3, 2009 2:54 PM
Waitaminute....THAT'S Bret Michaels? I kept hearing his name and not knowing who he was, wasn't he on celebrity fat club or something a while back??
15. Frankly Speaking - February 3, 2009 2:57 PM
Frankly speaking, it's good that they both are post-menapausal otherwise this would be ugly
16. havoc - February 3, 2009 2:57 PM
I didn't think Jen was into bald guys....
huh...
.
17. AteIsEnough - February 3, 2009 2:59 PM
To those of you non-believers... Jennifer Aniston ROCKS. I'd give my left nut to be with her...minus the bull-shit she's always knee deep in.
18. AteIsEnough - February 3, 2009 2:59 PM
To those of you non-believers... Jennifer Aniston ROCKS. I'd give my left nut to be with her...minus the bull-shit she's always knee deep in.
19. AteIsEnough - February 3, 2009 3:00 PM
Sorry about the double post...got a little click happy!
20. Valerie - February 3, 2009 3:09 PM
"She should die so some new talentless semi-cute girl can act like the same emotionless whiner in every role she plays.... " I have to agree. Her character always ALMOST stutters and it's as if we're supposed to identify with her. FAIL
21. Mike - February 3, 2009 3:12 PM
Doesn't she just act in the same movie over and over again with a different title?
22. Joe - February 3, 2009 3:18 PM
Would have went with "put his rock of love in aniston".
23. dude_on - February 3, 2009 3:19 PM
A-Listers don't do D-List hair band has beens. He should stick to groupies and deny himself the embarrassment of openly disclosing his affections for a top tier international hottie.
I could go all Randal on Jen but her beauty speaks for itself - okay that is enough. I'll go cut off some digits or that.
24. Ed. - February 3, 2009 3:20 PM
No, if you say "Jennifer Aniston ROCKS" it's called getting a little dick happy.
25. Sandy - February 3, 2009 3:27 PM
Bret's got a chance if he shows Jen a Brad Pitt mask and offers to wear it, then laughs...and keeps an eyebrow raised. Or should it be an Angelina Jolie mask?
26. Shawn - February 3, 2009 3:28 PM
So was "Bret Michaels wants to Talk Dirty to Jen" just a little too obvious?
27. Jen - February 3, 2009 3:28 PM
"Whoever transforms a cop car into a hot tub full of bikini babes using only the magic of their rock ..."
You totally ripped that from Patton Oswalt.
Loser.
28. sla - February 3, 2009 3:37 PM
All of the germs and junk and skank he came into contact with on Rock of Love have left Bret coated in a permanent layer of skeeze. Touching him would be like making out with a raw chicken.
If Jen is smart she will pretend her name never crossed his disgusting lips.
29. Jrz - February 3, 2009 3:41 PM
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ricky Gervais is the man!
Ricky Gervais is no fan of Paris Hilton.
The British funnyman has taken to his blog and written a letter to President Barack Obama requesting an exchange that would move the heiress and Victoria Beckham to middle ground.
"As I'm sure you're aware, one of your flock has strayed," he writes. "A Miss Paris Hilton, who is, I believe, a resident of Beverley Hills [sic], is in England doing a reality game show for ITV2 called Paris Hilton's British Best Friend. Fine. I have no problem with that. I don't have to watch. But now it has come to my attention that she has bought a house in North London a few miles from me, and is out and about ingratiating herself with the Great British public."
30. candiruacu - February 3, 2009 4:01 PM
As to why this would be so wrong-
Well, Hell-
Just look at the pix!!
31. candiruacu - February 3, 2009 4:08 PM
&
The group shots of Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, Jennifer Aniston, Ginnifer Goodwin and Scarlett Johansson-
I'M A HAPPY MAN!!!
32. Randal - February 3, 2009 4:13 PM
There's always a ray of sunshine bursting from the smile of Jennifer Aniston, regardless of where she happens to be in her illustrious career, which is why so many flock to her field of dreams.
Your fans continue to support and love you, Jennifer!
Randal
33. authorego - February 3, 2009 4:46 PM
Jennifer Aniston's taste in partners leans towards "famous" but I'm very sure that it isn't a famous fat flabby woman in a cowboy hat.
34. Jupiter Girl - February 3, 2009 5:29 PM
I'm loving Jennifer Connelly at this event. The color of her green dress..and luminous curls, so stunning! Scarlette is always beautiful...even if she's not doing the old hollywood glamour look that i prefer on her. Not a big fan of Jennifer Aniston, but i like the tailored look on her...and the necklaces are very cool. Genniffer Goodwin is flawless from head to toe in that amazing color and matching jewels. I love love love Drew Barrymore. BUT that dress isnt very flattering for her hips, pretty girl none the less.
35. Max - February 3, 2009 5:31 PM
Why can't we read the full post in RSS feeds anymore? That sucks ass.
36. Tee - February 3, 2009 5:45 PM
Um, is it me, or does Aniston's suit look a lot like something Angelina Jolie has worn?
She looks good here, for a simian.
37. Min - February 3, 2009 6:27 PM
Not too pleased with the new RSS that feature less content and bigger, more intrusive advertising. If you're going to handicap the feeds to force me to visit the site so you can log more hits and take in more ad dollars, at least take the ads out of the feeds. Why waste my bandwidth twice with every post?
38. ew - February 3, 2009 7:02 PM
2- im gay then. I think she looks like an ugly jewish lezbo
39. TVRaisedMe - February 3, 2009 7:26 PM
Bret will crush on anything with a vagina. Although even that's debatable.
www.tvraisedme.com
40. Kimberly - February 3, 2009 7:35 PM
http://www.topmodeldating.com
I totally think she will get married to Jonn Mayer and finally have kids. You are doing great Jen. Keep it up!
41. daleile555 - February 3, 2009 9:14 PM
She is my dream girl!! she's just the type I like most!
you may wanna check this out, guys, ^^^^^^^^ AgelessMate.com ^^^^^^^^^, hot cougars and milfs there may just suit you the best!! who knows?
42. lucy - February 3, 2009 10:29 PM
You guys should try a great place ^^^^^^^^blackwhitefriends . c om , a great place to meet hot sports chicks and cowboys online.. there are many handsome sports men and hot rich women. Some sports celebrities are hanging out there...
43. gerard Vandenberg - February 3, 2009 10:43 PM
with other words: DIRECTING HIS PENIS INSIDE HER PUSSY, folks?
44. Linda - February 3, 2009 10:53 PM
Am I the only one to think Ginnifer Goodwin is by far the most beautiful woman on this picture?
I love her acting on HBO's Big Love, and I hope we'll see much more of her on the mainstream.
45. zsa - February 3, 2009 11:04 PM
I think Jen looks f'n fantastic. Wow, I love her outfit. I would even venture to say she's the best looking one of those five.
As for Bret, although I could see her with a rocker (John Mayer doesn't count), she doesn't need the drama...or the std's.
Did I say I love her outfit?
zsa
46. Sickitten - February 4, 2009 12:43 AM
Poorly formed chin, jaw and now ears! Bret's another one who relies on his hair, he is busted!
47. TJ - February 4, 2009 8:27 AM
Michaels is an advanced insulin-dependent diabetic, and has a penile prosthesis. I'm surprised none of his reality TV skags hasn't outed him yet...maybe he knows how to use it!
48. Fiona - February 4, 2009 1:17 PM
HaHaHa, it's not as if the sun won't rise tomorrow people! It's so much better to date around and see who makes that special, long-term connection with you than to just marry or committ to that person who gets your rocks off. To be partnered with "my best friend" is so much better than to be partnered with someone who only serves one purpose. A good dildo and some everready's could serve that purpose without all the angst from paps and fans. I say in my best Ozzy Osbourne fashion, Rock On Jennifer!! Live your life YOUR way and the Hell with nay sayers. Nothing beats a self-confidant, gorgeous , wealthy lady with such class and style. As Michaels said, "You can have a good time AND take her home to mom"....says it all....class, it's all about Helen Of Troy class......
49. Fiona - February 4, 2009 1:21 PM
HaHaHa, it's not as if the sun won't rise tomorrow people! It's so much better to date around and see who makes that special, long-term connection with you than to just marry or committ to that person who gets your rocks off. To be partnered with "my best friend" is so much better than to be partnered with someone who only serves one purpose. A good dildo and some everready's could serve that purpose without all the angst from paps and fans. I say in my best Ozzy Osbourne fashion, Rock On Jennifer!! Live your life YOUR way and the Hell with nay sayers. Nothing beats a self-confidant, gorgeous , wealthy lady with such class and style. As Michaels said, "You can have a good time AND take her home to mom"....says it all....class, it's all about Helen Of Troy class......
50. Brooke - February 4, 2009 10:54 PM
Ahahaha Vince would want to go to Denny's.
Hey, I approve of Bret Michaels wanting to bang Jennifer Aniston because that's got to be way more interesting than John the Knife.
51. Carl - February 4, 2009 11:27 PM
Jen has become a joke in HW.
52. Chris lee - February 5, 2009 7:12 PM
This is my first time to the site and you won me over. You had me at :
"But despite the fact he's got more STD's than Paris Hilton duct-taped to Pamela Anderson"
I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself. Nice job. :)
53. Tatyana - February 15, 2009 12:37 AM
She's so not hot enought for him! I think he has a crush because he can't find the right one. I can't see it just look at the pics. So not hot enough!!!
54. Tatyana - February 15, 2009 12:37 AM
She's so not hot enought for him! I think he has a crush because he can't find the right one. I can't see it just look at the pics. So not hot enough!!!
55. Carol - February 15, 2009 6:38 PM
I admire her and feel like if the press weren't up to no good around her she may just surprize you with what she can do.As for her comments on angelina Jole,I agree angie is a husband stealing,low self asteem tramp who will do anything with anyone as long as you stroke her over indulged ego. Hey Angelina, enough with the baby factory and take care of the ones you already have you blood sucking,backstabbing,husband stealing bitch of a whore!
Leave Jennifer alone folks already! Love ya babe! Yu are sooo beautiful inside and out. Why John Meyer though? You can do a lot better.