Jan 28 2009Joaquin Phoenix not crazy or good at keeping secrets
So Joaquin Phoenix might not be one voice inside his head away from crapping on the red carpet at the Oscars. Damn. Turns out his "rap career" could just be an elaborate ruse he cooked up with Casey Affleck, according to Entertainment Weekly:
Either Phoenix is perpetrating an elaborate Andy Kaufman-style hoax (with an assist from his friend and brother-in-law Casey Affleck, who's ostensibly shooting a documentary about his career transition), or he's truly lost his marbles. The truth, it seems, is closer to the former. "He said, 'It's a put-on. I'm going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it,'" says one source who recently worked with Phoenix.
Before everyone says "I told you so," I should probably point out that was an overheard conversation between Joaquin and a banana. They were married later that night and divorced/turned into a smoothie the next morning when Joaquin realized it was the government trying to steal his toothpaste. Love is a cruel mistress.

Reader Comments
1. RichPort's Ghost - January 28, 2009 3:32 PM
Fish, I'm surprised you even heard that banana, being as it was likely in his ass.
2. kp - January 28, 2009 3:33 PM
first?
3. ghost - January 28, 2009 3:39 PM
I hope he's lost his mind. America needs a good celebrity train wreck to take our minds of the economy.
4. RichPort's Ghost - January 28, 2009 3:52 PM
#2 - You're first at being second, ya douche.
5. p0nk - January 28, 2009 3:55 PM
so next time i see a homeless looking dude on the corner yelling "popozaoa", i won't be alarmed.
6. NY Ted - January 28, 2009 3:59 PM
No...it is not "crazy"...it is being "crazy hooked" on the crack/heroin pipe...!!!
7. Pathetic Worm - January 28, 2009 4:06 PM
He's not crazy, he's hirsute.
8. jrz - January 28, 2009 4:14 PM
HAHAHA #7!!!
anyway...very disappointd that Joaquin is nothing but a big fat hairy attention whore.
9. kingofbeer - January 28, 2009 4:21 PM
superficial got owned
10. LawnGnome - January 28, 2009 4:24 PM
It's Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf when he wears the sunglasses during school...
11. authorego - January 28, 2009 4:28 PM
Does he get most of his ideas from old Pee Wee Herman films?
12. It's Me Fuckers - January 28, 2009 4:33 PM
So was the whole frog thing a 'hoax' as well? I think he's fuckin flakey.
13. Alex - January 28, 2009 4:58 PM
ummm, it saddens me cos I think he is a great actor but I'm not buying this, he's gone mental and I hope he doesnt end up like his brother, that would be ashame. He is a mess.... I'd still do him though, I have a thing for psychos hahahaha.
14. Ang - January 28, 2009 6:15 PM
Most folks arrived at this conclusion as soon as the "Casey Affleck filming..." part was reported. But I don't know how they make this interesting. If Mad Max Mel Gibson has been doing the whole kill the jews/sugartits thing as part of a secret film, that would have been interesting.
15. me - January 28, 2009 6:17 PM
Anyone posting after me sucks on Joaquin Phoenix's shaggy penis
16. Tom Cruise - January 28, 2009 7:07 PM
Promise?
17. Mal - January 28, 2009 7:28 PM
haha @ 15,16!
18. ugh - January 28, 2009 7:47 PM
Soooooooo who cares...
19. benjaminbutton55 - January 28, 2009 8:02 PM
wow....
Is he the guy who's hooking up with hot tall girls on ====Tallmatching.com=== " ? actually there're lots sexy people there, Online chat, blogs, forums, flirtation and messages! Start a romance with hot model girls is just a click away! Whether for heat or passion, you are gonna be surprised what you might be end with!!LOL
20. The gorgeous one - January 28, 2009 8:03 PM
Well played, Joaquin, well played. You really had me thinking that you were bat shit crazy!!!
21. drrdrhefgg - January 28, 2009 8:21 PM
he is just about mad enough to make up an excuse for him to go totally nuts for another two weeks before he goes completely bananas....how it will end?
maybe he ll attempt to commit suicide live at the oscars by trying to choke verne troyer? something like that, i m sure!
22. bitingontinfoil - January 28, 2009 8:22 PM
yeah, yeah...I tried that same bullshit last time I got fuck-assed (and I MEAN THAT) drunk at an office party and made out with the janitor on top of the pool table.
I was *FAKIN' IT*, man! It was all part of my MASTER PLAN to act like a drunken slovenly ho! I was makin' a fuckin' DOCUMENNARY MAN! It's gonna be, like *burp* the sh-*hick*-shit!! Seriously dude....serio....
23. Toni - January 28, 2009 8:52 PM
I pretty much guessed this all along... come on ~ he's a smart guy. If I were famous, it would be fun to f@ck with the media too. If anything he sells a few rap c.d's to some random idiots and has a few laughs...
24. gerard Vandenberg - January 28, 2009 10:20 PM
THE TRAMP IS HERE ALL RIGHT.
.............but where is the lady?
25. j - January 28, 2009 10:22 PM
he has a cleft moustache
26. spinal - January 28, 2009 10:48 PM
Should've kept this one in the bag. It would've been mildly funny if he actually had gone insane and decided to be the next white, schizophrenic Jay-Z...but as a vanity 'art project' it's a mountain of lame.
Bye! Good, Joaquin. You dumbass.
27. humpinfrog - January 28, 2009 10:56 PM
How does 15 know his junk's shaggy?
28. Phoenix Lover - January 29, 2009 1:05 AM
Joaquin is the greatest MC of all time. Watch "DEAR JOAQUIN PHOENIX" on YouTube.
BIGGIE. TUPAC. JAY-Z. NAS. JOAQUIN.
29. yoyonance - January 29, 2009 1:30 AM
He is professional. There are lots of his fans on ***wealthymeetup. c om*** club for professional athletes, moive stars and millionaires talking about him recently? BTW, guys, lots of sexy girls and models turn up there. lol
30. Georgia Prune - January 29, 2009 9:59 AM
He looks just like Jim Morrison right before he went to Paris & died.
31. AmberDextrose - January 29, 2009 10:32 AM
Gerry Rafferty is looking good for his age there.
32. mamamiasweet - January 29, 2009 10:46 AM
Good Lord, LOOK at these pictures! Who even CARES what he said, Still reeling over the pictures!!! What the Hell HAPPENED?!
I know this girl who has him placing very high on her 5 Celebrities I Most Want To Sleep With list! I want to foward her these pictures and say "Be Careful What You Wish For!"
If this guy dies tomorrow I - for one- will not be in that "Heath Ledger Shock" where I call up friends and family and say "He died? REALLY? Are you shitting me????" I give him about 3 months tops. Pity really.
33. Cam - January 29, 2009 12:12 PM
So instead of being an crappy actor, or a crappy rapper, he can be a crappy mockumentary maker. At least he's consistant.
also
#32 You should ask her would you sleep with Whaakkeeeuhm? and when she says "Would I!" you can scream "HARELIP!"
see,..because he's hideously freakishly defromed with a harelip...
(it's ok I'm taking that word back)