Dec 19 2008Paris Hilton's house burgled, $2 mil in jewelry stolen
Somebody broke into Paris Hilton's house that she earned all by herself thanks to a healthy dose of hard work and karma. The burglary took place early this morning and with surprising ease, according to TMZ:
According to cops, a man in a hooded sweatshirt forced entry into her front door and ransacked her bedroom. Preliminary reports indicate $2 mil in jewelry and other belongings were taken.
So, $2 million in jewelry, but she can't spring for ADT. Social Darwinism, I love you.

Reader Comments
1. Sharla - December 19, 2008 1:54 PM
The whole time she was in the bed saying: "I'm over here.. Are you here to rape me? Oh, no, please don't rape me! Hey, wait! you are leaving? I thought you were going to... oh shit... lost another one..."
http://internetmiscellanea.blogspot.com/
2. Obama the Messiah - December 19, 2008 1:57 PM
I did it. I am just trying to "Spread the Wealth".
3. b - December 19, 2008 1:58 PM
Its about time i get what i wanted for christmas!!
4. BigSteamyOne - December 19, 2008 2:00 PM
Wow, she is one unlucky person , guess she will have to make another crappy burger commercial to make up for her loss.
5. Famous Plastic - December 19, 2008 2:01 PM
It was Greasy Bear...or a publicity stunt...
6. whattheFFFF - December 19, 2008 2:04 PM
don't tell me she doesn't have a security system or cameras on that multi-million dollar property. if she doesn't have anything like that....wow, she totally deserved this.
7. bakinmycake - December 19, 2008 2:04 PM
2 million in fake jewelry....thats a whole lotta nothin
8. Ted Mosby - December 19, 2008 2:05 PM
He forced entry and went for the bedroom? Probably Herpes Rage.
9. necessaryROUGHness - December 19, 2008 2:09 PM
Insured: next story
10. SouthAfricanHotti - December 19, 2008 2:12 PM
South Africa Rocks.......
11. Uncle Eccoli - December 19, 2008 2:14 PM
Nobody but the queen should have that much in jewels in the first place.
12. Anonymous - December 19, 2008 2:22 PM
The guy ransacked her bedroom? He's going to need a good scrubbing.
13. p0nk - December 19, 2008 2:24 PM
probably the same people that stole her Faberge Egg a while back.
14. jt - December 19, 2008 2:26 PM
one word: jared's
15. havoc - December 19, 2008 2:26 PM
I'd dip all that fucking jewelry in bleach.
Just in case....
.
16. Truth doctor - December 19, 2008 2:30 PM
OJ did it
17. Vince Lombardi - December 19, 2008 2:43 PM
Bwah-ha-ha-ha-haaa!
18. grobpilot - December 19, 2008 2:43 PM
He saw her lying in bed and was thinking of tapping her, then remembered all the shit he's read about her on this site and thought, "hey, I can make off with $2 mil AND keep my dick" and walked away.
19. Mr. Jones - December 19, 2008 2:44 PM
All they need to do is scan suspects for signature viruses and bacteria.
They can catch him herpe-handed.
20. Kurgen99 - December 19, 2008 2:45 PM
At least we'll get another sex tape out of it...
21. angielee - December 19, 2008 2:51 PM
lol, i cant help but laugh after she just blabbed about how awesome her house is in the previous post
22. angielee - December 19, 2008 2:51 PM
lol, i cant help but laugh after she just blabbed about how awesome her house is in the previous post
23. Plobes - December 19, 2008 2:51 PM
Ha ha!!!!
24. Vince Lombardi - December 19, 2008 2:52 PM
My guess is: During her long 22-day stay in jail, PH befriended the suspect, gave her home address, phone number, IM name, and her alarm code to her new friend - let's call her "Lindsey" - and invited her to drop by any time. So "Lindsey" got out of jail, see? She told her lesbian pal - let's call her "Sam" - about Paris's invitation. So "Sam," being someone who prefers to dress and characterize herself as the dominant male role in the relationship, dropped by as per the personal invitation. Sam, feeling that it was Christmas and she hadn't gotten anything for "Lindsey," decided to "borrow" some stuff.
It's all good clean lesbian fun.
25. chickdowntown - December 19, 2008 2:52 PM
After that, the hooded robber continued on his rampage and robbed another CHICKDOWNTOWN
26. Is that Tito Ortiz? - December 19, 2008 2:54 PM
Wow! Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson look so healthy in your photographs!
27. KC - December 19, 2008 2:55 PM
You might want to goggle the difference between "robbery" and "burglary."
28. MC - December 19, 2008 3:04 PM
I love how karma has come back to take shit she doesn't deserve.
29. dork - December 19, 2008 3:05 PM
I guess her karma wasn't good enough for a house with a safe.
Just for spite, the burglar probably took all the dresses she was saving for her kids... I would.
30. dragon43078 - December 19, 2008 3:38 PM
Nice scam. You get/inherit/suck for, 2 million in jewelry, buy 200 dollars in fake jewerly, have the fake stolen and claim insurance on 2 million real stuff. Nice.
31. Dar - December 19, 2008 3:39 PM
$2 mil in jewelry. $0 on security.
Gotta love people who are rich and stupid. Eventually, they're just stupid.
32. Dan - December 19, 2008 4:05 PM
"So, $2 million in jewelry, but she can't spring for ADT."
That's because this never actually happened. Her publicist himself might've done it; I dunno. There's no jewelry. Her only point of interest is that she's "rich"--her family's rich. She's low on cash and if everyone knows it, she'll have to do the whole "Britney Spears crazy" thing to keep interest.
They phoned in a fake report to try to convince everyone that she had $2 million in jewelry just lying around. She didn't. She doesn't. She never did.
33. RIP Superficial - December 19, 2008 4:37 PM
thanks for the chuckle #24...see people? that's actually funny.
It reminds me of the old superficial writer...Vince Lombardi, why aren't you writing in this site?
New Superficial writer: You are not funny. Get out.
34. Eva - December 19, 2008 4:42 PM
Oh puleeze!
I remember the Mothers Day gifts that were stolen from Paris before she could have given her mom, supposedly containing $10,000 worth of stuff. Gimme a break.
The only things Paris had that was worth stealing was the engagement rings that Paris Latsis gave her: a $5 million 24 carat canary diamond ring and a $2.1 million 15 carat white diamond ring. I think she sold those on Ebay.
We all know everything else (the real jewelry) is pretty much borrowed from Jacob the Jeweler.
35. blank - December 19, 2008 4:42 PM
She hid the jewelry in her crouch cause, yes, there's just that much room for penis, i mean things.
36. fearsarewishes - December 19, 2008 4:57 PM
goggle = Google
crouch = crotch
JFC, I hate you morons
37. nommer - December 19, 2008 4:59 PM
does no one else notice how weird her right hand looks?
38. mm - December 19, 2008 5:33 PM
Ha, there's her karma.
39. Bob Frapples - December 19, 2008 5:39 PM
Not buying the story.
No one has ever had to "force entry into her front door".
BooooooYAH!
40. boo - December 19, 2008 5:47 PM
Hasn't this been done before? I seem to recall Lindsay claiming a purse with jewels being stolen. These pubicity whores need to come up with a new schtick. Rehab, jail, drunk driving, pornos, millions of dollars of jewels stolen, fake weddings, fake lesbian relationships. It's ALL getting old.
41. n - December 19, 2008 6:30 PM
Yeah...what is up with her arms in pic 1??? How is that possible?
42. PostmortemG - December 19, 2008 6:52 PM
"These pubicity whores need to come up with a new schtick. Rehab, jail, drunk driving, pornos, millions of dollars of jewels stolen, fake weddings, fake lesbian relationships. It's ALL getting old."
I agree. I think the only kind of publicity stunt that will arouse my interest in these whores now, is nothing less than violent physical injury.
43. hahahahahaha !!!!! - December 19, 2008 7:12 PM
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's hot fuckers.
44. lindary - December 19, 2008 7:39 PM
She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site """" W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m"""""" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?
45. indiana - December 19, 2008 7:50 PM
You don't mean Social Darwinism. You mean Darwinism. Social Darwinism pertains to ethnic and racial groups; Darwinism to individuals.
46. mimi - December 19, 2008 8:19 PM
After all those pictures of Kim Kardashaskank, Paris Herpes Hilton looks good. That's how disgusting and nasty that maggot Kim K is.
Pray for Amy!
47. 1moreidiotintheworld - December 19, 2008 9:08 PM
Who fucking cares??? Paris losing 2 million in jewelry is like one of us losing a dollar in a Pepsi Machine..... at least we can get the satisfaction of kicking the shit out of the machine.
48. Vince Lombardi - December 19, 2008 9:32 PM
@41 - There's a chick on PH's right holding her arm - leather sleeve. PH has bare arms. Otherwise, yeah, physically impossible.
49. lonelilylana - December 19, 2008 9:42 PM
Actually the vapid cunt left her front door unlocked.
50. theOutsider - December 19, 2008 11:18 PM
So:
Breaks in.
Finds the bedroom in which I am assuming to be a fairly large house with more than 1 bedroom.
In the bedroom, finds the $2million of jewelry.
Bounces out and doesn't get caught by the police.
But they know he was wearing a hooded sweatshirt?
Maybe the actual story explains that, but I'm too lazy to click through and see, so I am going to assume it doesn't and I am awesome.
51. gerard Vandenberg - December 20, 2008 12:21 AM
THIS MAKES LIFE WORTH LIVING, folks!!
52. Cartman - December 20, 2008 2:29 AM
Insurance fraud, thy name is Paris.
But the stupid whore probably won't even get charged... at least until her stupid ass is photographed wearing some of the "stolen" stuff.
Why is this news anyway? When Paris is 50 and still craving attention will this website still offer her attention.?. (yeah, I know... of course they will) or force more "Speidi" pics on us... ugh.
53. chinakya@aol.com - December 20, 2008 4:29 AM
Paris Hilton, Eminem is secretly inlove with you. Don't go out with Lance Armstrong; look a like. Um...
JustJill
54. Ali - December 20, 2008 5:02 AM
10 minutes later and I'm STILL laughing
55. White Dude - December 20, 2008 9:50 AM
whitewomensuck.blogspot.com
56. The Truth Will Set You Free - December 20, 2008 10:02 AM
Said "robber" must have seen Paris' pix in her pink dress from previous post and says to self-I want to burgle her bunghole
Found out she wasn't home and took her "family jewel" instead.
57. missy - December 20, 2008 11:28 AM
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
NOW IF SHE WOULD JUST DIE IT WOULD BE A VERY MERRY XMAS
58. TJ - December 20, 2008 11:49 AM
Hey, the illegal spics and their anchor babies have to make a living since California's economy is tanking...whatsa matta with a little burglary now and then??
59. Megan - December 20, 2008 11:58 AM
29 -
Fucking brilliant. Maybe it'd force her to wait a bit longer to spit out the Herpes Bunch while she accumulates more fancy herp rags for them.
60. Monkey's Bone - December 20, 2008 12:54 PM
$2 mil. in jewlrey - That means half of a mil. insured through Lloyds of London for $2 mil.....Bitch is insured to the freakin hilt.
She has a break in, which if anybody has ever had their home broken into and robbed knows what I'm talking about, You don't necessarily think of your material posessions which can be replaced. (with her money fairly easily)
The thing I'm refering to, is what it does to your psyche knowing your MUCH more vulnerable than you thought.
61. Insatiable Peter - December 20, 2008 4:50 PM
Congratulations to the burglar for his heroic feat and contribution to society.
62. Frank - December 21, 2008 9:36 PM
#39- That was the most brilliant post I've seen on these boards. Bravo. Superficial writer- you should hire Bob.
63. Michael Bismark - December 23, 2008 1:39 PM
Bull shit, laying, friendly stolen, insurance will cover. Who in perfect sanity leave millions dollars at home ?
64. coffee - February 13, 2009 2:39 AM
i betcha Paris was robbed by an enemy she made while she was in jail
65. james - May 7, 2009 6:03 AM
its a great blog.