Adrian Grenier or Tom Cruise?
Today's battle for your nether-regions pits fictional movie star Vinnie Chase against fictional movie star Tom Cruise. (Not a typo.) For the sake of this experiment, we're going to take some bold leaps and assume Tom is not just trying to convert you to Scientology with his tiny loving, and Adrian Grenier has showered in the past 24 hours. Or you can piss in the face of science and scream "Hugh Jackman!" It's a free country. Ready GO!

Reader Comments
1. woodhorse - December 6, 2008 6:19 PM
$10 bucks on Tom Cruise takes the X man 1st round (but gives him a reach-around)
2. woodhorse - December 6, 2008 6:20 PM
Everybody below me also gets a Cruise reach around.
3. Al_Byno - December 6, 2008 6:35 PM
WTF!? These guys BOTH suck balls and take it up the pooper. They'll probably just do it in a park somewhere and post it online as a fundraiser in support of Pooposition 8.
4. Ashers! - December 6, 2008 6:43 PM
Adrian is more my type by far.
5. tromba - December 6, 2008 6:47 PM
Who writes this garbage? I am guessing that this person DID NOT pay attention in English class.
6. Me - December 6, 2008 6:51 PM
Anyone posting after Me sucks on Adrian Grenier's permed penis
7. tromba - December 6, 2008 6:52 PM
Hey Al_Byno, just a bit homophobic, maybe? I will go out on a limb and guess that you are, possibly, a racist and probably not very well educated.
8. Guy - December 6, 2008 6:52 PM
I don't understand, what's this meant to be about???
9. crazylady - December 6, 2008 6:53 PM
I'm going with Tom because I'm tall and so I feel like it would be angry sex.
10. tromba - December 6, 2008 6:56 PM
Dear "Me",
Please explain how one "perms" a penis.
11. Yanz - December 6, 2008 7:03 PM
Grenier for the WIN! Cruise can't handle it. Vinnie's chiller than a polar bear meanwhile Tom would be too distracted by Chase's gorg smile.
12. girl - December 6, 2008 7:03 PM
Vinnie Chase, he's ugly but I like his show and he'd probably smoke me out
13. swampass - December 6, 2008 7:10 PM
Adrien fucked/is friends with Paris Hilton and said complementary things about her, so he is a FAIL.
Tommygirl is an instant FAIL.
"HUUUUUGE JACKMANNNNNN"
Yes, I went there.
14. unimposrtant - December 6, 2008 7:12 PM
Lindsay Lohan!!!!
wait... what?
15. tromba is gay - December 6, 2008 7:19 PM
try to relax dude, it's a silly site with silly comments. Not a proper place to show how righteous and holier than thou you are. just for fun. dumbass.
16. huh? - December 6, 2008 7:22 PM
I don't understand this post..
17. ileanita - December 6, 2008 7:23 PM
definetly adrien
18. dan1eya - December 6, 2008 7:25 PM
mmm VINCENT CHASE plzzzzzz
19. Samma - December 6, 2008 7:26 PM
...um...HUGH JACKMAN...wins everytime
20. Sparky - December 6, 2008 7:34 PM
Johnny Depp. yes, I said it.
/obvious
21. justifiable - December 6, 2008 7:38 PM
Both lameass spazzjacks. Hugh Jackman can phone it in any day of the week and beat these two.
22. Icky - December 6, 2008 7:44 PM
Is death an option?
23. Rough Daddy - December 6, 2008 7:56 PM
and the winner is ~~ROUGHERS~~
24. Gina Girl - December 6, 2008 8:05 PM
Tom Fooze!
25. Kelly - December 6, 2008 8:07 PM
hugh jackman. ftmfw
26. Kahlee - December 6, 2008 8:09 PM
eww neither! Adrian is kind of ugly and Tom Cruise is insane.
27. bitchen - December 6, 2008 8:12 PM
Neither. Gross. I would rather fuck a shovel.
28. tromba - December 6, 2008 8:14 PM
Dear "tromba is gay",
Well, you would be wrong. I've been married for 20 years. As a timeline study, that precludes me from being married to another man. (Do the math, if you can) The last thing I am is righteous and as for "holier-than-thou", I am agnostic.
I see nothing silly about hateful people making unfounded and disparaging remarks about other human beings. These asshats mean what they say regardless as how uninformed and uneducated as they are.
You are a homophobe as well and a disgusting human being.
29. Tanya - December 6, 2008 8:23 PM
Vinnie Chase, ill take him even is he hasnt showered. Tom Cruise is a crazy coked out lunatic...no competition there.
30. You're fucking dumb. - December 6, 2008 8:36 PM
Ew what the fuck?
31. Kimbo Sliced - December 6, 2008 8:37 PM
Nice Jew 'fro, Adrien. You look like a goddamn ogre.
32. sarah - December 6, 2008 8:40 PM
Hugh Jackman!
33. Jeff W. - December 6, 2008 8:47 PM
Is it just me or is he not the spitting image of Greg Brady?
34. lulu - December 6, 2008 8:51 PM
if I had to choose between these two, it would definitely be Adrian. Tom Cruise is kinda weird and kinda short....I like tall guys :)
35. Cinnie - December 6, 2008 9:25 PM
Hugh Jackman, plz. AG and TC are both ick.
36. Rebecca - December 6, 2008 9:38 PM
Adrian likes Paris Hilton, and therefore probably got herpes from her, but Tom Cruise is just... Do I really have to explain? So, Hugh Jackman, hands down.
37. James - December 6, 2008 10:04 PM
come on how can you fault us or voting Jackman. We were asked to choose between a drunk probably herpes ridden douchemaster and a pale skeleton that doesn't own a hairbrush. All while Jackman's chest is staring at us from the side bar.
Here you try it. Who would you rather: Paris Hilton or Mary-Kate Olsen.
Now look at Jessica Alba's cleavage over there. come on can you REALLY pick one of those other two now?
Oh and in this case... ugh god... uhm... ew.. Can i go with Jessica Alba actually? yeah no seriously i'd rather switch teams.
38. RaraAvis - December 6, 2008 10:16 PM
I'm joining the line that says I Don't Understand This Post.
39. Mama Pinkus - December 6, 2008 10:18 PM
Nutty as he is, I'll take Tom over that greasy fuck anyday
40. Aaamber007 - December 6, 2008 10:29 PM
Is this even a question?! Even without scientology and his weird, clearly asexual relationships with women whom he transforms into plastic mannequins, Tom Cruise hasn't been even semi-attractive since Top Gun. Vinny Chase, with his pot-smoking, gonna-herpe-syphill-aids, still obviously the better choice.
41. britney's weave - December 6, 2008 10:39 PM
yeah, whoever said johnny depp is right on.
so if you need more suggestions for the GUYS... how about samantha ronson or khloe kardashian? since you're obviously into impossible decisions...
42. Balls McCoy - December 6, 2008 10:45 PM
Adrian looks like he's fresh out of the make-up chair on the set for the new Planet of the Apes movie? Now more ape-ier than ever!
Oh and tromba is a faggot.
43. ummm...yeah - December 6, 2008 11:06 PM
Oh please, both of them suck shit.
Who the fuck is this Vinnie guy anyway?
At least I know who Tom is...or was.
44. swampass - December 6, 2008 11:29 PM
BTW, what is up with that pic of Adrien???? Obviously, I'm no fan of his, but that picture is extrordinarily douchey. He's grinning like some kind of psychotic listening to masturbatory voices. Is he coming out of a no-tell motel?
45. what the f*ck? - December 7, 2008 12:29 AM
superficial are you drunk?
46. Heather - December 7, 2008 12:54 AM
im going to hate myself for this one... but tom
i just think adrien is the ugliest man alive.
47. friendlyfires - December 7, 2008 1:21 AM
I have an agreement with Cruise. I don't discuss psychiatry and Prozac, he doesn't discuss Scientology or his sex life. We like watching sports, Tales From The Far Side and The Three Stooges. And Ren & Stimpy. Works for me.
I almost forgot about Entourage. Do I give a shit about Adrian Grenier? That's like asking if I care about who shares STDs with Elizabeth Cuthbert ...
Hooray, People Magazine nominated a straight Ozzie that closet queens can drool over. That's what I call a public service. Too bad us heteros have to contemplate Nicole Kidman, what the brudders call The Excuse For White Meat, Casper The Cold Unfriendly Ghost, The Shiver Stick, The Ice Hole, The Fortress Of Solitude.
Feel faint, where's Victoria Secret catalogue? Thanks Rolf ... ahh, real fake women, I feel myself again ... and again ... and again ...
48. Siehna - December 7, 2008 1:59 AM
Uh neitheir because that guy gives off that Joe Fransis vibe.
Tom Cruise, I guess...
49. Rachel - December 7, 2008 2:01 AM
definitely vinnie chase, tom cruise is shorter than i am and im only 5"3
also its gotta be adrien grenier by default cuz he doesnt have any kids yet and lets face it who really wants to fuck a dad
50. Rachel - December 7, 2008 2:01 AM
definitely vinnie chase, tom cruise is shorter than i am and im only 5"3
also its gotta be adrien grenier by default cuz he doesnt have any kids yet and lets face it who really wants to fuck a dad
51. Rachel - December 7, 2008 2:01 AM
definitely vinnie chase, tom cruise is shorter than i am and im only 5"3
also its gotta be adrien grenier by default cuz he doesnt have any kids yet and lets face it who really wants to fuck a dad
52. Hadda Nuff - December 7, 2008 2:27 AM
Knock Knock? Is that you, Mickey Dolenz? No? It's TomKat? But, why are you scratching at my door?? What? Adrian Grenier smells like what? How he looks? Oh, so that's what I've been smelling...I though something died...,
53. Hadda Nuff - December 7, 2008 2:29 AM
Knock Knock? Is that you, Mickey Dolenz? No? It's TomKat? But, why are you scratching at my door?? What? Adrian Grenier smells like what? How he looks? Oh, so that's what I've been smelling...I thought something died...,
54. The Other, OTHER Girl - December 7, 2008 3:10 AM
ADRIAN ADRIAN ADRIAN!
55. Drea - December 7, 2008 3:14 AM
What a choice:
Adrian looks like he has fucking caterpillars glued above his eyes, and Tom hasn't been hot since the 80's... no, wait, actually Tom's never been hot.
56. sammm523 - December 7, 2008 4:44 AM
fish u are definitely 100% H0m0..
57. say10 - December 7, 2008 5:00 AM
who is this weekend writer? because they really suck. its like a less funny less homosexual perez hilton.
58. Domain Marvelous - December 7, 2008 6:16 AM
Tom Cruise for the win...anytime :)
59. Ella - December 7, 2008 8:27 AM
Tom Cruise. ;)
How can anyone in their right mind turn him down? <3
60. 1moreidiotintheworld - December 7, 2008 9:17 AM
it's the Geico Caveman..............
61. Valkyrie - December 7, 2008 9:25 AM
JESUS CHRIST, IT'S ANARCHY UP IN THIS!!
Dear Mr. Fish- this was horrifying. Your mom.
::raises hand::
WOULD Adrienne have to keep that facial expression or can he spice it up??
OH and Can Parker direct???
mommy?
62. gerard Vandenberg - December 7, 2008 10:16 AM
agree: BOTH SUCK, folks!!
63. Randal - December 7, 2008 10:22 AM
Fans, don't late the haters get you down. Tom and Adrian are both fine actors and good looking men with many admirers. You can count me among them.
It would be an honor and a privilege for me to bust a nut in either one's behind.
xoxo
Randal
64. woodhorse - December 7, 2008 10:43 AM
Yay Randall comes through again.
65. Missy - December 7, 2008 11:41 AM
I would have to go with curious space sex with the alien. We all want to know what that would be like.
66. a little what!? - December 7, 2008 12:58 PM
Always ALWAYS go with the hygenic, respectful one ladies. You deserve no less. ag isn't fit to shine your shoes!!!!!!!!!!!!! -felt good to get that out-
now .. I can't help but think after this post, might the superficial writer be a little gay afterall?
67. LEB - December 7, 2008 1:00 PM
Adrian. If he didn't look high most of the time. Still, high is better than seriousing f*cking crazy.
68. yaa - December 7, 2008 1:21 PM
R PATZ
69. JungleRed - December 7, 2008 3:29 PM
If Pete Sampras fucked Chaka from the Land of the Lost, they'd make a slightly less swarthy individual than Adrian Grenier.
70. Rawrs - December 7, 2008 4:21 PM
TOM CRUISE.
71. Tawny - December 7, 2008 4:23 PM
22 and 27 were spot on
If I had to, I’d go with AG, but only because I’m terrified of Tom and he’s short. Maybe back in Top Gun days? And even then, I know he’d be thinking of Goose the entire time.
And an example for the guys would be Samantha Ronson or Star Jones. Seriously – pick a hottie next time!
72. bop - December 7, 2008 5:33 PM
OMFG where is HUGH JACKMAN?!?!?! vs. Christian Bale. That would be a real experiement.
73. Amandafoster - December 7, 2008 9:21 PM
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74. Lyn - December 7, 2008 9:49 PM
I'd have to go for Adrian!
75. Jenna - December 7, 2008 10:43 PM
Hot and normal vs. ugly and crazy? Uhh, I"m gonna go with the guy who won't lock me in a basement and force me to convert to Scientology.
76. boomer~~ - December 8, 2008 12:56 AM
******* BOOMERFLIRTING.COM **********
I meet him at this site some days ago, he is looking for a senior dating~
That is great ? Is it? Who can tell me if he is single or not??
I am wondering!!
77. JellyBean - December 8, 2008 1:22 AM
Tom only cuz he's loaded!!
78. Mal - December 8, 2008 4:21 AM
I VOTE HUGH JACKMAN!!!!!! I PEE ON ALL 4 OUR LUV!!!!!!
Hugh I know you read these comments. It's time our torrid love affair finally broke!
No other man could compare with the luscious Man-gora thy chest sporteth! No one will ever think you're gay again once you come out as my man....until Christian Bale joins us for a bed sandwich (cuz you know a girl's got needs). *ring* no-no don't answer that, it's Tom Cruise and I don't wanna hear him bitch about not being invited to our gay love fest. None for you Tom, NONE 4 U!!!!
79. Kat - December 8, 2008 7:59 AM
Why is there a question mark for the title of this post? There's no contest. Adrian Grenier, hands down. Mmm, sexy. But Johnny Depp vs. Hugh Jackman? That's tough.
80. Mrs Chase - December 8, 2008 10:21 AM
Vinnie Chase is HOT
81. Marcheline - December 8, 2008 10:21 AM
The ultimate answer to the universal question is this:
EDILSON NASCIMENTO
(Google it)
- M
82. Sephystal - December 8, 2008 1:00 PM
ADRIAN GRENIER HANDS DOWN!!! He keeps it real, and that makes him hotter than the rest.
83. Sephystal - December 8, 2008 1:02 PM
p.s. I want to have Adrian's babies. That is all.
oh the things i would do to him.. lol. :)
84. Thumperchica - December 8, 2008 3:02 PM
This post and question made me vomit in my mouth a little bit...
85. B - December 8, 2008 5:01 PM
Adrien.
If Hugh Jackman wasn't available.
86. Miss Foxx - December 9, 2008 10:46 AM
HUGHHHHHH JACKMANNNN!!!
87. felicity - December 15, 2008 11:22 PM
Personality and Paris Hilton aside, Adrian's cute! He's, er...ruggish? And kinda goofy looking.
88. Anthony R. - January 24, 2009 9:42 PM
I had thee unfortunate displeasure of meeting Mr. Grenier in Vegas and I must say he is a tool. I’m a VIP host so meet famous people all the time, some will stop to talk and some won’t. Usually the stars that don’t want to be bothered are nice about it but Adrian was arrogant and crass.
I was a fan up until that point but his ego and personality was enough to totally change my mind. Anyway, I found this article about him that made me laugh… http://brooklyninvegas.com/?p=29