Nov 24 2008Madonna is the new shriveled-up, white Oprah
Pulling a page directly out of Oprah's book then Xeroxing it, Madonna wants to build a girls school in Malawi, Africa. She recently announced her intentions on the website of her non-profit organization Raising Malawi. FOX News reports:
Of course, Oprah’s school is not connected to any kind of religious cult. Raising Malawi is an off shoot of the Kabbalah Center in Los Angeles, run by former insurance salesman Philip Berg and his family.
There’s no word yet on whether the Madonna Academy students will have to wear $26 red strings on their wrists or drink bottled Kabbalah water. But pictures this weekend of Madonna carrying her adopted Malawi son, David Banda, into the Kabbalah center, pretty much says it all.
Yes, I'm sure the students at Madonna's school will love those special visits from their Material Girl headmistress. Or as they'll come to be known "Hide Under Your Desk the Pale Bride of Satan is Here to Feed Again Day." Ha ha, kids.

Reader Comments
1. FRIST!!! - November 24, 2008 11:25 AM
That sounds like a good idea...
2. Mel - November 24, 2008 11:37 AM
She's such a douche
3. PoohEater - November 24, 2008 11:43 AM
What is the opposite of an erection? Because that's what I have right now.
4. Chauncey Gardner - November 24, 2008 11:52 AM
I'm amazed at all these business-savvy-yet-bat-shit-crazy stars who manage to get dressed in the morning despite their ludicrous beliefs. Then again, Kabbalah really isn't any crazier than Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Scientology, and all the other stupid shit people believe in.
5. verga - November 24, 2008 11:53 AM
madonna is the biggest cunt in the world. i can't wait until she's dead and i don't have to hear about her bullshit any more.
6. so2315 - November 24, 2008 11:59 AM
In picture #3, her skin resembles the skin of a freshly embalmed corpse I have seen at Mortuary School! Her pores are huge, and her skin looks leathery.
Also check out the big fat fuck of an Englishman trying to look tough behind her. Did he miss his tea???
7. plastic - November 24, 2008 12:01 PM
her ears are sitting too far back. Are they gravitating to the back of her head? Her chin looks ridiculously proportioned to her face as well. She's looking crease-free, but still freakish.
8. Fleur - November 24, 2008 12:02 PM
It's ridiculous people would CRITICIZE Maddona over this! I don't care what her motivation is, many, many little girls would receive an education and an opportunity to better themselves through the building of this school. I'm not Jewish but I would have no problem with my child receiving an education that emphasizes spirituality in its curriculum. It's nice to see the "material girl" giving something back and using her wealth and influence to help others. The cynics will probably disagree but I think that this must be a cause very dear to her heart and she truly is doing this for the right reasons.
9. Savalas - November 24, 2008 12:11 PM
What happens to the school and the kids when the album flops and the tour is over?
10. justifiable - November 24, 2008 12:11 PM
#8 No, it's not. ridiculous Cramming your beliefs down a poor country's throats by attaching them to a charitable act is pretty heinous, no matter who does it - another country, religious leader or spoilt aging rock star. If Malawi says yes to the center but no to the kaballah, whaddaya wanna bet she refuses? Nothing like claiming you want to help people while maintaining complete and total control of their lives.
P.S. Learn to spell, wouldja? Her name's in the title, how hard can it be?
11. Savalas - November 24, 2008 12:12 PM
What happens to the school and the kids when the album flops and the tour is over?
12. dragon43078 - November 24, 2008 12:14 PM
Isn't she an American? Shouldn't she care about the girls here first? What a dumb bitch. Helping out foreigners whos government will eventually sieze the supplies and money for themselves.
They just want their names on something. How about the "Used to be Good Ages Ago" clinic.
13. bb - November 24, 2008 12:31 PM
u guys are so ridiculous.she cares about africa cause they need.u amarican fuckin people are too rich.ur fuckin president spent ur money the way he wants.madonna is helping people that really need.thres no school or hospital in some places in africa.madonna is a decent woman and she really looks good,look at her live on stage she is really cute girl and she has an amazing body.she is 50 and she looks better than a lot of young girls
14. billy - November 24, 2008 12:34 PM
yes she is pretty good.she did an excelent job in helping people in need.she has a lot of money and she is building an hospital too,.she is helping.that woman works a lot and helps a lot.all the young people should learn from her.ecvery young star wants to be like madonna bla bla but they should do this kind of things too.madonna u lok very relax,u are pretty this pictures are bad cause of the flashes.too many.she is a special one.she really hot believe me cause i see and ui get an ereption.
15. BISIDE - November 24, 2008 12:37 PM
i think she is doing great.hanging up with her kids.she is been amazing.she is sad abaout her personnal life but she said she is so happy to have a career like she got and be able to perform for millions of people.1 miilion saw her in europe.new record.MADONNA IS ALWAYS BREAKING SOME RECORDS.THATS WHY SHE IS SO AMAZING. AND SHE LOOKS SO STUNNING FOR 50.THIS PICTURES ARE NOT SO GOOD BUT I WENT TO HER SHOW AND I TOOK SOME PICTURES OF HER AND SHE HAS SOME PERFECT BODY DAMN
16. brrit - November 24, 2008 12:41 PM
LOVE U M!!U ARE SO HOT.WHEN I SAW U LAST WEEK I WAS LIKE WOW.U REALLY LOOK GREAT.WHY U WEAR THIS KIND OF CLOTHS .PEOPLE CANT SEE HOW GREAT U LOOK DRESSING LIKE THAT.HER SKIN IS SO PERFECT.BUT BELIEVE ME SHE LOOKS SO YOUNG LIVE.I PROMISE TO U.ITS THE REAL THING.SHE IS PERFECT.I WASNT A FAN BUT I BECAME SHE IS DAMN PERFECT.GUY U WAS SO STUPID LET THIS WOMAN
17. clau - November 24, 2008 12:43 PM
real man like womans like her.she is a sex bomb.guy ritchie said so.look at her in her video 4 minutes and give it 2 me.damn,so hotttttt mamamamama.im crazy about her sexualaty.justin said she is too sexual and he was very excited cause she looks really good
18. bow wow - November 24, 2008 12:46 PM
i saw her in central park this weekend .she was happy and she really looks awesome.she is not like that in those pictures.this pictures has no quality .
19. Pathetic Worm - November 24, 2008 1:15 PM
I think she's beautiful!!!
Oprah, I mean. The FAT Oprah. Madge looks to be in need of a better mortician.
20. ummm...yeah - November 24, 2008 1:19 PM
Ummm...yeah...
Let's talk about Oprahs' school shall we?
You mean the school where all the little african girls got raped and tortured by the staff? That school?
The school where the girls were used as sex slaves?
Ok...yes ...why not let another asshole celebrity open up another whorehouse in an underdeveloped country and exploit the children , then as soon as the fuckin tour is over...forget about them...or fuck em.
21. dragon43078 - November 24, 2008 1:24 PM
We are too rich? What moron thinks that? I work 40 to 50 hour a week. I gross 35K a year. Thats rich? You are a fucking moron who has no idea how most of the country lives. And then to see this rich ass bitch send money overseas to stick her nose into other governments business is appaling. If she truely wants to help, donate money in her home town to build and staff a hospital wing that she can stick her name on.
22. Sport - November 24, 2008 1:59 PM
#5 NAILED IT on the head, no sense in even adding anything.
23. Dumb Blonde with Monstrous Camel Toe - November 24, 2008 2:25 PM
Can someone please inform this knocked-up nigra lover what the fucking Kabbalah is essentially?
24. Famous Plastic - November 24, 2008 2:36 PM
She really blew it with that last bout of plastic surgery. She looks horrible (but I still think she's an amazing person).
25. Alex - November 24, 2008 3:08 PM
She beat Palin to the punch.
26. gsghbs@aol.com - November 24, 2008 3:17 PM
Madonna is in competition with Angelina to see which of them can amass the biggest collection of stupid, smelly, greasy, shitskinned, little niglets for her monkey-house.
27. Alex - November 24, 2008 4:00 PM
She beat Palin to the punch.
28. bootlips - November 24, 2008 4:26 PM
I can't wait until the tar baby rapes Lourdes and murders Madonna.
29. piedopiper - November 24, 2008 4:40 PM
I'd hit it.
Not sure about the old lady though.
30. yelloe - November 24, 2008 5:56 PM
I think online dating is really nice. I meet many nice people at the millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^^^^^. You can find your soul mate at this site. You have many chances to date with a millionaire there.
31. Kat - November 24, 2008 9:01 PM
Good for Madonna. It's not like she can't afford it. And I really think she's looking tons better since the divorce- like her old self. Her skin looks amazing; no one has the same look as M.
32. bootlips - November 24, 2008 9:37 PM
I like to wear my nigger accessories to the Opera. It makes me feel important.
33. Barry O - November 24, 2008 9:58 PM
Her new "school" will be an animal control live trap. Or a gingerbread house. They'd better start lo-jacking their kids, cuz Mad Crabs is about to go on a shopping spree.
34. gerard Vandenberg - November 25, 2008 6:37 AM
This FILTHY FAKER needs attention again, folks?
35. Narcissist - November 25, 2008 12:12 PM
So would Kabbalah be the new Scientology or the old Scientology?
@31 "no one has the same look as M"...because they're trying to avoid it.