Oct 27 2008Hulk Hogan says Nick learned a lot in jail
According to Hulk Hogan, being locked up for negligent driving had a transformative effect on his son. Which is nice, since his best buddy John Graziano has just been lying around in a permanent vegetative state and hasn't done a damn thing to increase his personal growth. See, parents? You can't always judge your kids by the company they keep! Us Magazine reports:
Hulk says Nick has changed his life since getting out of jail Oct. 20.
"He was on a roll," he said. "He was a young professional driver. He had the show going, and it all got real busy, and then when he went to jail, he got stripped of everything.
"He got stripped of clothes, of watches, he got stripped of his identity, and he found out what's important in life," Hulk added. "He knows what's real, and what's not real.
"And before he went in there, he was accountable, and he was responsible. And I think that's what he found out in jail, the most important thing. He understands what is real life. You know, it's about helping people, being positive, moving forward.
"He was a good kid before, he's a great kid now," Hulk says. "He's not the same man he was when he went in there."
Then Hulk added:
"But you know where he's really experienced the most growth, surprisingly enough? His rectum. Yeah, no kidding. On the drive home from jail I thought we were being followed by a UFO, the wind was whistling through his sphincter so loud. I've been storing all my spare bandannas in there, which gave us an idea for a family magic act that we'll hopefully be opening at the MGM Grand early next year. We might even get John in the act; it would lift his spirits, and he'd probably be good in the sawing-a-guy-in-half routine. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I hear Brooke's ass cheeks de-moisturizing. You know, a father's work is never done, but it has its rewards."
Reader Comments
1. Watdafux - October 27, 2008 6:31 PM
Yea lyk taken it up the ARSE. jk NO ILY HOGAN MAN!
2. Watdafux - October 27, 2008 6:33 PM
P.S. Hulk Hogan is fucking sexy.
3. Watdafux - October 27, 2008 6:34 PM
P.S. Hulk Hogan is fuckin' sexy. MUSCLESSSSS<3X0
4. Watdafux - October 27, 2008 6:36 PM
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WATDAFUX?
5. bob - October 27, 2008 6:37 PM
He get out from the jail?????????? This isreally unthinkable. Many friendsI met on a sports community think==mysportsdate.com== s o too.
6. Me too - October 27, 2008 6:39 PM
Surely he has strengthened his gag reflex, as well. Pops is a little TOO happy about all the wonderous things his young tyke has learned, methinks.
7. Jayger - October 27, 2008 6:48 PM
Bet his ass he's not the same man now. He got banged by Big Bubba and learned how to blow the guards for that "extra" security.
8. FRIST!!! - October 27, 2008 7:00 PM
You guys all beat me to the ass jokes, thanks a lot. Oh, but BTW, 1-4 What in the hell????
9. Burt Destruction - October 27, 2008 7:06 PM
"He understands what is real life."
This is coming from a man whose life has been spent "professionally" wrestling.
10. Chenush - October 27, 2008 7:08 PM
superficial, you are gross, that was too much rectum joks man.
11. Watdafux - October 27, 2008 7:10 PM
#8. I. Just. Do. Not. Know. Anymore. THOSE HOGAN'Z SURE DO GET ME IN A SILLY SALLY MOOD! Esp. <3The Hulk<3
12. Oso Polar - October 27, 2008 7:15 PM
They are both pathetic. The has been praising the barnacle. It' 7:30 "Hulk" where is juniors mama?
13. FRIST!!! - October 27, 2008 7:24 PM
#11 got it and completely understand
14. FRIST!!! - October 27, 2008 7:26 PM
Actually no I don't.....whatever, it's QUITTIN TIME FOR GOOD OLD FRIST< WHO IS JOINING ME FOR DRINKS???
15. supersex - October 27, 2008 7:26 PM
now he knows how to suck a dick like his sister and mama!
all bitches
16. I_AM_LIMERICK_MAN - October 27, 2008 7:39 PM
There once were two fuck-ups named Hogan
Whose daddy was wrestling's big slogan
Both were made famous
Plopping out of Dad’s anus
Top that, if you can, Lindsay Lohan
17. sho nuff - October 27, 2008 7:41 PM
that made me bark out loud! "we thought a UFO was following us....."
hee! haw! rectum.
18. Sprot - October 27, 2008 8:01 PM
Ha ha, Oh Superficial writer, you've outdone yourself this time. Well done.
19. Ted from LA - October 27, 2008 8:09 PM
I heard they wrote a "B" on each of his ass cheeks in prison and when he bent over it spelled BOB.
20. 1 MILF Hunter - October 27, 2008 8:21 PM
He sure isn't the man he was before he went to the joint. He smoked more meat than Hillshire Farms. Plus he's got a prolapsed rectum.
21. Whoregan - October 27, 2008 8:24 PM
I bet he wears diapers now.
22. Hulk = Steroid Princess - October 27, 2008 8:48 PM
Hulk Hogan is a steroid princess. What do you think would happen if he had to fight someone for real, as in not scripted?
HH - pssst! you're supposed to fall down and stay down!
opponent - FuckYou!
HH - I'm supposed to win this match! Arghhhhh!!!!
HH - Let me win!!! Damn You!!!
opponent - Fuck You buddy, I don't take falls!
HH - Ahhhhh! Ouch!!!! Oooooomphhh!!! Doooohhhh!!!
HH - Ouch!!!! Hey!!! Those are real punches!!!!
HH - Hey that hurts!!! Stop!!! Ouch!!!!
-SPLAT-
opponent - Told you I don't take falls, bitch!!!
23. Danklin - October 27, 2008 8:57 PM
Jesus fucking christ, i wish Hulk Hogan would shut his damn mouth. The guy is like Sarah Palin on steroids. He tries to make a good point but ends up sounding like a fucking idiot because he can barely process a complete thought without going onto something else. I dont have a fucking clue what he was trying to say there except he still thinks his son got the shaft and jail ended his driving career before it even got started. Aw sorry to hear that little Hogan, i guess thats what happens when you're a little assbag that gets drunk, races and permanently turn your friend into a dried prune that drools.
24. Starr - October 27, 2008 8:58 PM
anyone else notice hes wearing a unicorn t-shirt?
25. Starr - October 27, 2008 8:58 PM
anyone else notice hes wearing a unicorn t-shirt?
26. Starr - October 27, 2008 8:58 PM
anyone else notice hes wearing a unicorn t-shirt?
27. Vince M. - October 27, 2008 9:01 PM
Yea, right Hulk, g0d wanted it this way. You fucking retard.
"...he got stripped of everything..."
and his buddy got stripped of his brain.
Maybe now you won't be racing against your son and his buddy anymore. You piece of human garbage.
28. Bolea = Weirdo Family of CREEPS - October 27, 2008 9:14 PM
The Bolea/Hogan family are all douchebag extraordinaires.
Hulk rubs his daughters ass in public, the mother dates her kids' classmates, Nick thinks he can do anything he wants and daddys money will get him out of any trouble. Brooke is the female, except she has manly traits. Nickie is supposed to be a male, yet he is a feminine fairy type guy. Now Nickies ass is bored out big time.
Since Nickies ass is bored out now, he could work as a male prostitute. At least he could stop living off daddys 15 minutes. Fucking extreme douchebag.
Brooke has the balls of the children. Nick has a pussy and a bored out ass.
Their mother looks like a blonde haired Kim Kardashian.
Hulk Hogan is about to shrivel up from all the 'roids. Steroids and hemmoroids on little Nickies ass.
29. pelps - October 27, 2008 9:17 PM
He's the man!!
Many young girls and hot cougars on === Agelessdate.com === wanna marry a man like him. I did see some supermodels there. I know many guys tired of dating the ordinary, maybe u can meet your special at this superb club :-)
30. Walt D - October 27, 2008 9:20 PM
Nick reminds me of Jiminy Cricket.
31. justifiable - October 27, 2008 9:24 PM
He was a "professional driver" only so far as had a competition license. Good pro drivers aren't ruled by speed, and it's pretty goddamn clear this asswipe doesn't know the difference between a pro track and a highway. Hopefully his former sponsors will know the difference between a jagoff and a real driver even if daddy doesn't.
32. warden - October 27, 2008 9:38 PM
Nicky boys cellmate was in for burglary. Or, rather, up for burglary.
Turd Burglary!!!!
Yo Nicky boy, you HOMO!!!! LMAO!!!! Pussy Boi!!!!!
33. i share the same name with this fairy. fuck u bolea u boa wearing fag - October 27, 2008 10:22 PM
yeah, look at the fag wearing a UNICORN t-shirt. lol!!! what a fairy! even Brooke wouldnt wear that. his asshole must look like a deflated hot air balloon hole now.
34. Hilarious - October 27, 2008 11:03 PM
Fish that was too much!!!!
35. Little Nicky (LMAO) - October 27, 2008 11:22 PM
That punk isn't a professional driver. To call that little failure a professional driver is like calling Paris Hilton a professional singer/actress or calling Kim Kardashian a professional dance artist and choreographer.
Frickin' Hogans are as bad as Heidi & Spencer!
36. Jessica - October 27, 2008 11:27 PM
I don't post her often (ever, actually) but I have to say, I f'ing hate this family. They're all trash.
37. Sport - October 27, 2008 11:28 PM
What a worthless douche of a family. All of them.
If they want their collective IQ to seriously spike they should just shut the fuck up. Zip it. Zip. ZZzzip. WHat a bunch of pathetic media tools.
38. Pedro De Pacas - October 27, 2008 11:52 PM
The only thing this pendejo learned was how to take multiple dick up his ass and in his mouth and still breathe through his nose.
WHATCHA GONNA DO BROTHER?????
39. justtheobvious - October 28, 2008 12:10 AM
Great, now they are both gay. Who cares about a washed up steroid ruined hunk of flesh's kid that does nothing and has only boned his sister.. until he landed in jail...
Whole family of fags.
Mom looks like a dude
Dad is finished
Sister gets boned by her brother ..
He is now a fag.
Congratulations
I'd rather see more retarded pictures of Heidi and Spencer.. seriously
40. gerard Vandenberg - October 28, 2008 12:26 AM
MEET DOMBO & SON, folks!!
41. Aerialgreen - October 28, 2008 12:33 AM
[sarcasm]but, but, you never know how life is going to turn around, maybe, yeah, maybe Nick Hogan will end up discovering a cure for his friend missing 1/3 of brain!, yeah, then you'll be like, yeah, maybe if we were behind him from the beggining, he would have discovered the cure for cancer, u h8ters!!11~![/sarcasm]
42. Ric Flair - October 28, 2008 8:37 AM
I want to *moisturize* Brooke's assheeks too, along with her face
(beating off furiously whilest typing this)
WOOOOOOO
43. Janella - October 28, 2008 8:37 AM
What he means "we don't give a f#c& we just want to get back to making lame shows to get rich." I hate this family so much. They can kiss it with their damage control garbage.
44. fishfan - October 28, 2008 9:43 AM
Did anyone else notice the boxes of tampons behind hulks head????
45. kipsy - October 28, 2008 9:45 AM
you can always count on people with shitty senses of humor to leap to the ass-raping jokes the second anyone mentions jail. as though it were the happiest, least tired joke in the world. 'oh, there's a comic "p.s." to this little story. I hope it's about forced sodomy! I need a smile!' I wasn't disappointed (except I was).
46. Scarlett - October 28, 2008 9:58 AM
Nick is scum. He should have been put away for life... the douchebag got let off far too lightly. If only he was the one left with a massive hole in his head.
47. Scarlett - October 28, 2008 9:58 AM
Nick is scum. He should have been put away for life... the douchebag got let off far too lightly. If only he was the one left with a massive hole in his head.
48. Scarlett - October 28, 2008 9:58 AM
Nick is scum. He should have been put away for life... the douchebag got let off far too lightly. If only he was the one left with a massive hole in his head.
49. glen - October 28, 2008 10:11 AM
is that a goddamn unicorn shirt.......jesus
50. Jade - October 28, 2008 10:30 AM
Is Hulk made out of leather? Ohhhh shiny!
(the tampons and the unicorn shirt are hilarious)
51. LSDiesel - October 28, 2008 10:56 AM
It looks like Hulk is a cardboard cutout in that first picture
52. gnipgnopq - October 28, 2008 11:11 AM
That kid is the ugliest fucking punkin head i've ever seen - look at his retarded dome - someone let the air out of that thing pronto - agh
53. Moksha - October 28, 2008 11:42 AM
WTF do these bloody murderers have to fkn grin about???!!!
54. tracey - October 28, 2008 12:29 PM
hilarious!
55. m24k - October 28, 2008 3:38 PM
those are tampax pearls in the mirror behind Hulk. just thought i'd point that out!
56. hahaha - October 28, 2008 5:39 PM
This cracked my shit up in a big way. Well done Fish.
BTW Hulk what is 'real' is the poor bastard in a coma...you remember him don't you, asshole?
57. RWhitfield - October 28, 2008 6:37 PM
i hope he learned to watch his back
P.S nick is on my list >evil laugh<
58. RaraAvis - October 28, 2008 9:51 PM
Nick learned a lot in jail, did he? Humm...maybe Hulk should spend some time there, too. Be mine, I_AM_LIMERICK_MAN !
59. Snoodle - October 28, 2008 10:31 PM
jesus christ superstar that shirt the Hulkster's got on...
60. Squishy - October 28, 2008 10:37 PM
Of course he has ~bullshit~ improved himself and his perspective on life ~bullshit~ and respect for the lives he could impact on if he kills them ~bullshit~ with a DUI!!
61. Astrid - October 29, 2008 3:03 AM
That blonde fucktard is out of jail already?? HOW??? I will never be able to get the image of Graziano with half a head out of my mind. The entire Hogan family can rot in hell.
62. Helen - October 29, 2008 4:30 AM
Wow...I've heard he has many soulmates. HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP reported that most of them were found on the Internet, such as AgelessOnly.COM. It's the best age-gap celebrity dating service on the Internet. Maybe it's right.
63. Bush - October 31, 2008 10:33 PM
Here's what fairy sissyboi Nick learned in jail...
How to keep Bubbas semen from dripping down his legs after Bubba pounded his ass. How to suck a cock till it explodes. That daddy can't buy him out of everything. That maybe he won't be able to live his entire life on daddys earnings; have to share it with manBrooke. That semen is full of protien. That he loves loves loves the taste of butt juice.