Oct 15 2008Miley Cyrus makes shelf space for her Pulitzer prize
Good news; Miley Cyrus has finished her autobiography! Yes, we've reached a point where a 15-year-old Disney puppet feels entitled to publish her life story. Hey, she deserves it. We all do. Because we suck. The Sun reports:
The book deals with Miley’s upbringing as daughter of country singer Billy Ray Cyrus and reveal[s] how her solid relationship with her family, especially her mother Leticia, helps her navigate the spotlight.
Miley, who is currently filming Hannah Montana: The Movie said: "I'm not sure when it's going to come out.
It's finished but you've got a long process of editing and all that kind of stuff, so it takes a while."
"Editing and all that kind of stuff." Outstanding. This ought to be a real page-turner:
It was the biggest dilemma I ever faced in my life: Should I buy the life-size gold-plated pony, or the Corvette that runs on gumdrops? I hadn't been this torn since my Teen Cosmo cover shoot, when I wanted to wear pale pink lipstick on my nipples, but Dad kept pushing for magenta because it "brings out those purty eyes of yer'n." In the end, we compromised and settled on lavender. Because that's what being part of a family is about: compromise.
Hopefully school administrators are preparing for a change in their curricula, because once this thing hits the shelves, Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl won't even be suitable for ass wipe.
Photos: WENN
Reader Comments
1. War Horse - October 15, 2008 9:21 PM
This is getting crazy. A life story at 15? WTF!
2. Sierra - October 15, 2008 9:23 PM
wow, that main pic is SEXYYYY.
3. latin@s - October 15, 2008 9:53 PM
okay, this wanna be britney spears skank..... so her book about her life comes out, and yay for all who give a damn,, i mean c'mon miley cyrus???? what a fukin joke,, i think the tele tubbies were much better than this skank,, and tell us all miley skank r'us does this book say that you are dating a 20 year of model who only wants to fuck you cuz your famous???? i think this bich needs a life,,, much
4. latin@s - October 15, 2008 9:54 PM
get a fukin life mylie
5. timmy the dying boy - October 15, 2008 10:00 PM
Ah hopes thayre's plenty of purty pitchers in that thar book!
6. Rational Rick - October 15, 2008 10:17 PM
WHORE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7. Mike Hawk - October 15, 2008 10:21 PM
some of the funniest pic's yet...Rotfl!!1 OMGWTFBBQ!
8. orb205 - October 15, 2008 10:30 PM
She really looks like her face has been repeatedly stung by a bee.
9. smiley - October 15, 2008 10:32 PM
When Miley dies, her face will be put on money- if there were money in the future instead of just hugs.
10. greasyfungus - October 15, 2008 10:33 PM
omg i cant effin wait!!111
In response to #3: Pipe down, no one feels like reading all that shit.
11. smiley - October 15, 2008 10:34 PM
When Miley dies, her face will be put on money- if there were money in the future instead of just hugs.
12. greasyfungus - October 15, 2008 10:35 PM
omg mileys book is going to be sooooooo awesome!!!
13. Kahlee - October 15, 2008 11:00 PM
ewwww, she looks like a hideous hybrid of an Olsen twin and Peaches Geldoff in the main picture.
14. Whatthefuckisthat? - October 15, 2008 11:19 PM
I was born in tennessee were my closeted gay father had sex with me until I grew breasts and reminded him to much of a women. It broke my achy breaky heart. The End. That wasn't so hard maybe I should write books. Nah I'll stick to coloring them.
15. snaggletooth - October 15, 2008 11:22 PM
Man does she look high in that first pick. there must be enough roophies in that drink to get Fish laid. Man, I miss 15 year-old tail.
16. Angela - October 15, 2008 11:23 PM
In the past picture she looks like she is walking like that character from the move Unusual suspects, or something along those lines. I think Kevin Spacey played the retarded guy..yea..her impersonation of him fits to a T...
What? That's just her...Ohhhhh
17. literarycritic - October 15, 2008 11:25 PM
Fish, is there any way you can put the 3rd picture up as the main one instead? Because Holy Christ, it is hilariously perfect.
18. Youpeoplehavenolife! - October 15, 2008 11:37 PM
Hey numba four------ learn to spell her name right you IDIOT!!! she's so much cooler than all of you guys anyway. ha
19. Youpeoplehavenolife! - October 15, 2008 11:37 PM
Hey numba four------ learn to spell her name right you IDIOT!!! she's so much cooler than all of you guys anyway. ha
20. Miley virus - October 15, 2008 11:58 PM
Who else wants to bet this bitch will be knocked up by 16?
21. max - October 16, 2008 12:20 AM
She looks stoned or hungover. Or maybe, just maybe, Billy Rae just climbed off of her after a hard ride.
What a slut.
22. Bored - October 16, 2008 12:21 AM
Way to much hating. I hope that she manages a smooth transition to adulthood so we don't get more train wreck fodder. The girls close to being a billionare before she turns 18 so more power to her!
23. max - October 16, 2008 12:24 AM
On second thought...she's retarded.
24. Dirtypants - October 16, 2008 12:37 AM
God, retarded chicks are cute. (sprinkles suger on my cock) " Hey there Mylie, want a lollipop?"
25. Mike - October 16, 2008 12:49 AM
Well, the diary of Anne Frank actually ISN'T worth an ass wipe because it is 100% fictional.
26. gerard Vandenberg - October 16, 2008 12:58 AM
You want to try your luck on this KID, folks?
27. FRIST!!! - October 16, 2008 1:21 AM
Anne Frank was a cute girl with a very compelling story. She had a gas problem, though.
28. Fernando Narcos - October 16, 2008 2:14 AM
It's kinda creepy calling teenage girls things like whore and cunt....
29. timmy the dying boy - October 16, 2008 2:16 AM
Here's a recently uncovered part of Anne Frank's diary:
http://tinyurl.com/27trjd
That poor, poor kid.
30. riz - October 16, 2008 2:20 AM
i love you for these pictures.
DOWN WITH MILEY!
31. Gar - October 16, 2008 2:35 AM
Is this serious cyrus ?
32. Putz Balzac - October 16, 2008 4:42 AM
Smillyscmyrus rates right up thar with Jamitin.
33. Jenna Jeemison - October 16, 2008 4:54 AM
LOL, the second part was done by Superficial, right? For a moment, I thought it was real. Because you know... her dad is creepy like that and I totally believed it.
34. 1moreidiotintheworld - October 16, 2008 6:27 AM
Brilliant!!!! One more self-absorbed hollywood piece of shit who thinks all of us peons need to learn all about her long, complicated 15 years of life being molded into the next Media Whore to replace Britney.....
35. Ed Eisner - October 16, 2008 7:21 AM
Too bad Disney is no longer a moral and fantasy phenomenon. It is now run by capitalist pigs who have driven the good name into the ground for the sake of using child psychology to enrapture children with the lowest common denominator of their psyches.
Television needs to be a limited experience for children. Parents should make there kids read more and play more without tv and videogames. Arts and crafts, woodworking, lego sets, hiking and camping, general excersice and tons of reading books.
I know I know I am an asshole. But look at this country now. We are now idiots here scholastically.
OH and tax all the money away from the robber barons that they managed to steal from us to pay for it all.
And then we won't have any whores and such influencing our children with mindless fantasies, like this talentless media creation.
36. gerard Vandenberg - October 16, 2008 7:38 AM
What's in the ice-cream?
IS IT SPACE-CREAM?
.......................NEW?
37. misty - October 16, 2008 8:13 AM
@29...LOL. That was great!
38. ekki_skila - October 16, 2008 8:24 AM
"brings out those purty eyes of yer'n"
Ba HAHA! I wasnt expecting that. I believe I snorted!
39. Luke - October 16, 2008 9:07 AM
Vanilla...and chocolate...hmm....
40. FACE - October 16, 2008 9:19 AM
What a worthless peice of white trash
41. Deacon Jones - October 16, 2008 9:28 AM
Maybe this is why it's so easy to talk your way into a teen's pants these days - theyre fucking dumb as hell from growing up on this garbage
42. yuck - October 16, 2008 9:57 AM
FUGLY BITCH
43. 36yoMale - October 16, 2008 10:22 AM
I'd hit it.
44. poo man group - October 16, 2008 10:35 AM
How much cocaine do you think is in that Billy Goats Gruff-lookin brat's sundae?
45. FRIST!!! - October 16, 2008 11:03 AM
FUCK YOU #27 FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
All I was gonna say is look at that cloud of smoke and her eyes, the sundae???
Pass the joint, biatch..
46. Erik - October 16, 2008 11:07 AM
AHHHHH. Dude next to her is wearing an Ed Hardy t-shirt. Instant Douchebaggery!!!
47. Billy Ray - October 16, 2008 11:31 AM
Now Miley, bend over 'n let yer pappy stick it in that purdy lil' butt of yers 'cause you gots to stay a virgin for all your fans, here, don' move whilest I coat yer face wit' Daddy's own special "country gravy" Who really luvs ya darlin'?
48. In ur butt - October 16, 2008 11:47 AM
Couldn't agree more Ed eisner. thank God for Pixar. They put disney to shame, as it should be. Miley and her ilk deserve their place alongside the hasbeens of the entertainment manufacturing plants we have today. Meanwhile, real art will live on for eternity.
49. supersex - October 16, 2008 11:52 AM
hope she shares what ever the fuck she's smoking.
50. Wow - October 16, 2008 11:53 AM
Calling young girls such names as what is mentioned here is wrong. Go pick on someone your own age.
I, for one don't want to read the foul mouthed comments, which to me, seem to be only a peek into dark, dirty and warped little minds.
I am related to her by marriage and can tell you that she is none of the terrible things that are being said about her on these comments.
51. king - October 16, 2008 11:55 AM
lol,she is funny...
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52. paeton - October 16, 2008 12:06 PM
please please superficial... put something else up so i don't have to look at that weird 'i made a poop' face!
53. mamadough - October 16, 2008 12:07 PM
holy shit i'm having a retarded day. started to read the second paragraph and thought it was real until i hit the lipstick on the nipples part. fucking thursdays.
54. Chaos - October 16, 2008 1:30 PM
LOL. because we suck! that disney hor needs a new job!
55. whatever yo - October 16, 2008 1:37 PM
what is there to say about her life that isn't already pointed out in the teeny bopper magazines??
Seriously, Britney did more by 15 than Miley.... This is all for the money..
And Miley is going to sell out badly very very soon... She's here now, but she'll soon be gone. There isn't anything special about her. She walks around eating ice cream, dating older men and being stupid on YouTube.
She's 15, does she even know how to put a proper sentence together? Does she even know the different parts of speech?
I think it's ridiculous and she probably didn't write this book. It was most likely a ghost writer who had to go through all the suffering about how she lost her Barbie doll a couple years ago.
56. Turd Ferguson - October 16, 2008 1:41 PM
Is this a picture book? Connect the dots? Color by numbers?
What the fuck could a 15 year old possibly have to say about life?
"Daddy bought me some horseys.
oh, and a mouse gives me tons of money to sing stupid songs that idiotic kids buy. ....ok, bye"
-the end
Yikes!
57. pat - October 16, 2008 2:12 PM
Well, of course she's not writing this book. From Disney's point of view she's a hot commercial property, and hot commercial properties have books about them. I haven't checked but I'm sure other companies have already issued their own Miley Cyrus books, assembled from magazine stories.
Disney wants some of that action, so they had someone talk to Miley for a little while and then write the book. Talking to her "co-writer" would be the extent of Miley's involvement. It has nothing to do with Miley "wanting" to write a book, or "needing" to tell her life story. She does what she's told by the boss.
This kind of thing has been going on for decades - no reason to get upset or excited about this one.
58. g - October 16, 2008 3:26 PM
i agree she is going to sell out really, really soon. which is a shame because i actually really like her
59. HorribleJudgment - October 16, 2008 4:18 PM
If that picture of her does not illustrate what a hideous, fugly, chipmunk, beaver, lazy-eyed, pig-faced, fish-lipped, fat cheeked, dick chinned, piece of white trash, UGGO she is, I don't know what will.
60. aw! - October 16, 2008 5:40 PM
This ugly little twat couldn't possibly have anything to say after living only 15 years. That another ridiculous way for her to grab people's money. (At least she isn't screaming--I mean singing agin.)
61. Miley is the next Jim Carrey - October 16, 2008 5:56 PM
15 years old, hundreds of millions of dollars, a decent bod, can sing, dance, and now she's conclusively demonstrated that she's Miss Rubber Face. This girl can do anything she wants. When she gets bored with singing and dancing, and she will if she isn't already, she'll probably give comedy a shot. I think Miss Rubber Face here may very well give Jim Carrey a run for his money, not that I care.
62. Putz Balzac - October 16, 2008 7:44 PM
Her most effective birth-control device is her face.
63. santo - October 16, 2008 8:06 PM
overrated
overpaid
underworked
barely literate
Another piece of shit redneck trash. As if anyone is interested in the little whore. Anyone else have a local radio station offering "no Miley Cyrus, just the best music"? Hopefully it'll catch on; if I never see or hear about the god-damned rednecks ever again I'll be happy every day. Please G0d, I promise, no more Miley and I will behave properly for the rest of my life.
64. twzzlrgirl - October 16, 2008 9:15 PM
She looks like a frickin' duck in that first pic.
And have you listened to most 15 year old kids talk lately. Holy crap...SOME editing??? She might be in her 30s before a whole company of editors can even make it readable.
65. tre - October 16, 2008 10:26 PM
"...she is going to sell out really, really soon..."
So you're implying that she has not yet sold out?
66. Nikky Raney - October 17, 2008 8:20 AM
this is a joke right?
67. Chilli O' TIps - October 17, 2008 9:57 AM
This fucking God Awful Intellectually stagnant society gets worse by the day, I swear to Christ.
Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK COULD MILEY MOTHERFUCKING CYRUS POSSIBLY HAVE TO SAY THAT COULD EVER BE CONSTRUED AS HALFWAY INTERESTING AND/OR ENTERTAINING BY EVEN THE MOST INSIPID OF SOCIETIES??!!
As an aspiring writer with more intelligence and literary capacity in my toe fungus than this worthless whore in training possesses throughout her entire being, this upsets me more than American pop culture's everyday mentally agonizing excrement.