Sep 9 2008Josh Hartnett doesn't have a really awesome sex life
Josh Hartnett is suing the Daily Mirror for printing a story that alleges he had sex in a hotel library and was caught on CCTV. Here's the supposed eye-witness report:
"Unfortunately the hotel has security cameras all over the place - the library included. This means their every spit and cough was recorded, and cringing hotel workers saw all of Josh's X-rated moves. Josh didn't seem bothered that the library wasn't locked and anyone could just burst in. He just kind of went for it.
"After the event, someone had a quiet word in Josh's ear and he was asked to take his personal business elsewhere in future. Josh took it on the chin and didn't kick up a fuss. He's been as good as gold since."
Josh's lawyers filed the lawsuit today and he's seeking damages along with a public apology, according to the BBC:
The allegations are "not only untrue but a complete fabrication", said his legal representatives, adding they were "defamatory and unsubstantiated".
Jesus, Josh Hartnett, you don't deny a story like this. You confirm it then fill in the parts that were left out: Like the fact that the woman in question was really five women and afterwards you found the Holy Grail using only your motorcycle and a broadsword.* Or you can do it your way and look like a wienie. Whatever.
*Fact: All my dates end with an epic quest, ladies. (Epic quest may or may not involve trying to locate the clitoris which is near your belly-button, right? No, wait, don't tell me. I know this one...)
Reader Comments
1. vern - September 9, 2008 3:49 PM
so wait, who's the chick?
2. Sportsdvl - September 9, 2008 3:58 PM
I agree with Fish, why would he deny this? Either the tape exists or it doesn't. My guess is he blew his load a little bit early and is afraid the tape will show the world he's not great in the sack.
3. Crystal - September 9, 2008 3:58 PM
Oh the questing we could do! lol
4. FRIST!!! - September 9, 2008 3:59 PM
Yay, Fish listened to me last post!!!! I'm his favorite, you know..
5. rob - September 9, 2008 3:59 PM
second!!!
6. havoc - September 9, 2008 4:02 PM
Of course it didn't happen. He had his purity ring on.
In truth, he was with Russell Brand and gave him a rusty trombone....
.
7. m.munroe - September 9, 2008 4:09 PM
oh, hes still famous??
8. rough daddy - September 9, 2008 4:23 PM
Again with this "Daily Mirror" fabricating what ever they can,,,
superfish that guy is a swordsman,,,and can do anything but grow a decent facial hair!!!
9. Sid - September 9, 2008 4:29 PM
Josh must be a Democrat - he was caught having sex with a WOMAN.
10. Barack Obama - September 9, 2008 4:30 PM
Vote for me. I'm a radical Marxist.
11. John McCain - September 9, 2008 4:32 PM
Vote for me. Just look for the box next to the name John... John ... John ... something. It begins with an "M" ... or maybe a "C" ... or something. Fuck. What's my name?!! NURSE! WHAT'S MY NAME?
12. Cindy McCain - September 9, 2008 4:34 PM
John McCain. Your name is JOHN MCCAIN.
For the millionth fucking time.
Where's my fucking Vicodin? I just grabbed the whole bottle from that guy with pancreatic cancer...where'd I put it?
13. John McCain - September 9, 2008 4:35 PM
Thank you, nurse.
14. Michael - September 9, 2008 4:51 PM
I heard he's a REAL DICK and and ASSHOLE; Also
and a cheap tipper in real life. i have 2 friends who have waited on him at different times- diffrent places too.
15. Trover - September 9, 2008 4:51 PM
Should we know this guy? Don;t post him ever again without screencaps from his encounter. Otherwise, boring.
16. blah - September 9, 2008 6:25 PM
Thank you fish for posting 2 hot guys in one day! As a heterosexual woman, I was really getting sick of all the bikini posts (that being said, please don't post any guys in banana hammocks, ugh). I have been checking out this website for years & I remember there being more of a "variety" of celebs back then, rather than just the endless bikini/hot chick posts now. Anyways, Josh & Ashton may be douchebags as far as personality goes, I don't know. But either way, I find them so damn f*ckable! .......yum! More please!
17. gerard Vandenberg - September 10, 2008 1:06 PM
You know why?
BOY'S ALWAYS SAY "YES"!!