Sep 16 2008Happy Birthday, Heidi Montag, you vapid camera whore, you!

When is she going to pose naked in Playboy??

First. Be-atches.

Sorry second butt munch!!

OMG, what a bunch of horsh*t ... are you sure these two aren't really two wax dummies from Madame Tussaud's ?? Incredibly plastic, utterly useless and talentless !

Whoa.... she's got some BAD skin.....

Easy on the makeup cake dumbass.

Where are their friends? Such losers!

I wish Payne Stewart's jet would have landed on these two when it crashed.

#1 ewww, why would you - anyone really- want to see that???
I heard next week..

I'd let her strap one on and peg my rump!

HOW CAN ANYBODY BE THAT VAIN AND FAKE! THEY LOOK LIKE THEY ARE POSING FOR SOME LAME CLOTHING CATALOG, NOT LIVING ACTUAL LIVES.

One day she will turn up dead with Spencer standing over her holding a gun. And he will be rewarded with thanks and praise from the entire world!

Wait a minute, who forgot to photo shop her face?!
Somebody's going to get fired down at the Spedi compound.

Wait a minute, who forgot to photo shop her face?!
Somebody's going to get fired down at the Spedi compound.

You pinned it #10. Yep, and I would say Sears or Shopko..

Aah, yes. This is so impromptu and such a surprise. Because it's everyday a fake blonde, fake boobed, fake teeth, air-head, retarded whore of a bimbo, walks around in the park with a champagne bottle and glass, and the equally worthless bastard blondie-goatee, walk through the park, with baloons the size of her rubber titties and a cake.
Yes it's totally normal.
Another year older, another year to sell more of them being "real" to the world.
BURN IN HELL YOU BITCHES!!!!!!

I told myself I'd be done with this site if fish posted another speidi sighting.. later.

These two have got to be the worst "candid" photo fakers ever. That said - she still looks...hot. I hate to admit it but it's true.

Yo Fish - Why are you still posting about this woman? You don't wish everyone else happy birthday... You actually like this bitch, don't you? Just do us all a favor and cut it out.

The very embodiment of the McCain voter.

She does not look hot, she looks fake. I don't know, douche bags love "women" that look like her (so do douchbagettes). I guess i'm old fashioned and like a natural woman (and not a dumbass).

@8 - Don't want to see her in Playboy. Something a little more hardocre so we could see her getting violated by a mule or sucking off an elephant.

YES, She almost fail my theroy that she needs to open her mouth to let the air out!!! Thanks Hedi for not failing me. You are good now close your mouth until the pressure builds up again!!!

@20

DONKEY - SHOW !!!!

heidi - dumb bitch

She probably could fit that entire cake in her mouth.

What's noteable to me is that in all their pictures, including the 'party' it's just the two of them...i.e. THEY HAVE NO FRIENDS!

Oh yeah, also she has a huge chin and bad skin. That's noteable too.

@23

I totally agree

stupids

Spencer is one of those really angry closeted gay men. Either he's not hiding it as well anymore, or he's almost homicidal from the number of times he thinks he caught a whiff of her pussy. He belongs in buttless chaps at the head of a parade in San Francisco...but Jimbo refuses to give up that spot.

Her skin looks nasty.

the part that the story left out: later that night, she wiggled that diamond cross necklace in spencer's asshole until he came on their st. francis statue, while masturbating with a crucifix herself, her only real talent.

She's 22?!?! Holy fuck, she looks 30 at least! For God's sake, she looks like a wax figure. Yuuuuck.

Cheap shot at Jimbo, ERICA, WTF???

What are you guys talking about? They are real! ALL REAL!!!

No, I'm seriously kidding. They can smile, and pose all they want. We ALL know Spencer is an @$$hole and she's a MORON for still being with him. Did you see what he said to her sister?! If my bf, if I had one, did that to my sister..........oh man... not ONLY would it be over, but he'd get knocked out! She's so stupid.

Hey Normie, yeah, it's a little know fact that Spence Pratt is a government created Douche to annoy the world, and ,uh,Heidi Montag is a walking vernial diseased cesspool.

She's celebrating because Spencer finally managed to give her a facial. Granted, it was when he farted while she was inspecting his infected anal fissures, but still, it was something she always wanted to try.

@18

Yeah right...I'm sure she isn't a dummy-crat just like all the other stupid fake Hollywood types.

In a couple weeks you'll probably see some staged pics of her campaigning for Obama...cuz she quote "Likes black guys!"

ewwwww...........her face is all bumpy and yucky!

I would love to make her ass bleed!!

When are they going to film the episode where Heidi get staked to the ground face up, and everyone who contributes $5 gets to throw a lawn jart at her from any distance they want. Now the rules clearly state, anyone who can land a lawn jart in her mouth, gets their $5 back, plus 5 more, plus 3 free throws. That episode is going to kick ass.

#27, I agree with you completely.

I just bought my chaps and am headed for 'Frisco.

Please, please PLEASE stop writing about these two, I thought you promised it a few months ago, or are they paying you too to make them more publicity???

I'd hit it. Right uppercut on that lantern jaw

I thought Christians don't drink...... and I can guarantee you that isn't a bottle of Sparkling White Grape Juice!! ;)

#40 if you want them to go away, just don't watch their show. Calling someone a "vapid camera whore" is not the kind of endorsement anyone would pay for. Not even Heidi Montag who probably doesn't know what those words mean.

ZIT FARM!!!

Her skin is disgusting

@ 18. she's known to be a republican...

...and on another note, i love heidi montag. love.

i meant @35.

...and i still love her chest balloons.

#35 - tardboy - she's publicly supported McCain several times already. McCain actually said he was "honored" to have her endorsement. Thankfully he was mocked for that afterward and couldn't keep from laughing himself. Of course, that was back when he had balls and wasn't hiding behind Palin's skirt. My favorite story this week was yesterday when McCain and Palin finally split up and held separate events. Palin's crowd was huge, McCain's was so sparse it looked like a road crew doing a sound check an hour before a concert.

@42

mormons aren't allowed to drink. christians can get tanked all they want. the bible is filled with stories of wine drinking.

Who are these fucking people?

Why do you keep showing these catalog photos?

Seriously, are they in movies or something?

.

I wish I had her boobs and nice teef

UGH!!!! Nice skin!!!!! CLEARASIL????

QUIT POSTING THESE FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!
QUIT....POSTING...THESE....FUCKKKKKKKKKERRRRSSSSSS!!!!!

God damn I hate these kinds of people. This is a perfect example of how robots would behave if we ever make them.

How did I get the retarded troll today??

Erica - Blow Me!!

HOLY FUCKING ACNE BATMAN!

#42 there is a story in the bible about jesus turning water into wine. i'm not christian, but even i know about things like that. maybe you are thinking of muslims.

Sorry, Jimbo, I'm a girl. Not your type. But good luck finding the blow job, I'm sure you know which rest stops to try.

Look here Lady, that cross is not going to keep me away from burying an ice pick into your fake chest and putting a donut sized hole in your aorta. Just saying that's all.

Damn, her skin looks baaaaaaadddd.

don't know what kinda surgery she had on her face, but it looked SO MUCH BETTER before.
look up pics of her in season 1 of the hills. she was such a beautiful girl, and now her face looks horse-ish.

Bitch has gone mental. This has all of the criteria necessary for a public meltdown. Maybe, finally - there will be some entertainment associated with her and smiley boy as they swan dive into oblivion.

If I didn't completely loath this idiotic bimbo, I'd say she looks rather attractive in Pic 7. You know. The one in which she's not mugging like an attention starved ape for some despicable camera-wielding tool who shouldn't be allowed to publish anything ever again.

Poor Spencer. After each of these little staged events, he has to cleanse himself by spending a couple hours with his personal trainer, "Tripod", using only a little spit instead of Astroglyde because he's been a very bad boy.

I'm getting impatient. When are these two gonna shoot each other in the pussy?

Shit happens when you go to lunch, Jimbo, but don't worry, I kicked Erica's ass. And your troll kinda kicked his own ass. And I'm bored. What did you have for lunch today and how was the Cowboys game??

Good old LAPD turns a blind eye to these two drinking in public..

I just had a salad and the Cowboy game was great. Where the F did this Erica bitch come from? It is Rough Daddy in drag?

Fake tits. Fake nails. Fake eyelashes. Fake relationship.
Oh - and disgusting to boot.

DO NOT WANT. add me to the list of ex-readers sick of seeing this level of scum on the fish. now, excuse me while i go vo-- RRRAaaauuUULLGGHHH...

FRIST, there is a new post. I think it is a picture of Erica..

How are these people famous? I don't even understand what fame is anymore.

Cool, I'm on it, thx!!!

#27... I think all chaps are ass-less. That's what makes them chaps. If they had asses I'm pretty sure we would just call them pants.

Although, I'm pretty sure that fame would be able to buy you some good quality face wash or scrub or even just a bag to put over her head would probably work the best.

Mr Superficial,

Please stop reporting on the non-happenings of Heidi & Spencer. Why must you perpetuate the bullshit. They are neither celebrities or even somewhat interesting socialites. They are not even noteworthy except that celebrity gossip outlets like yours continue to report on every mundane detail of their uninteresting existence including staged photo ops like the one above. How is that newsworthy? Is it because a publicist pays you for mentioning them? I hope that's why.

@74, Phil, We all know that. Only a dip shit like Erica doesn't.

When did Donnie and Marie get bleach jobs?

No matter how ridiculous this crap is you have to admit that she has a smoking hot body. I don't really like fake tits...but they look alright on her and the rest of her body is virtually perfect. I'd pound the shit out of her.

garanteed they are not wax as one comment suggests ('cause they are so fake) , by the looks of her skin, 101% bumpy, she needs a good dermatologist.
Her face should be smooth and fresh, instead it is filled with tiny bumps that look like it would not be nice to touch, at all.

Ew. Oh my god! Her face looks like sandpaper under all that make-up!

they're so cute...

stop posting about this nonentity.

SO they polish off a bottle of Crystal and then what............. did the camera man drive them home ??? They had to be tipsy after that

Head too big for the body, bad skin, fake tits, fake nose. . .yeah, you're gonna notice this chick in a bar, but one 10 minute walk through a mall in Eastern Europe and you'll see at least 20 chicks better looking- naturally- than this worthless twat.

please please please please please stop posting about them. it's not funny, it's not interesting, it's not even embarrassing for them. they keep doing phony photo cameos for a reason - get back to your roots man! only post her when she looks awful or pops a nipple or gets knocked up or something.

this site is supposed to be funny. there's nothing funny about heidi montag.

Quit making them more famous. These (staged) "candid" moments in their life are soooooooo irritating.

Now you had to go and get me started... I saw him on TV the other day talking about Kanye's little spat with the paps and he was all matter of fact and arrogantly talking down to him, basically like, "oh silly Kanye, didn't you know? it's easy to deal with the paps, if you are nice to them they leave you alone... " HAH! You mean if you PAY them every week they don't fuck with you when you want to be left alone or take a bad picture of you when you aren't in the mood, look like shit, whatever? He is such an ASS!!!!!! And then it works! All these sites buy the pictures of these "celebrities" and make money for the photos!! Stop it!!!!!

Do you think they have a meeting every morning when they wake up discussing the plot for the day? "Today let's go grocery shopping, play in the aisles like we are innocent naive little teens in love from 9 to 10, then off to the mall to buy each other thoughtful gifts, check our voicemail, take a nap, then go out for a romantic dinner and talk about how glad we are we still have our virginity?" BARF!! I can't WAIT for the sex tape to leak!! HAHAHA

They have to be the fakest pieces of shit in the entire world (they don't sleep in the same bed because Spencer is actually gay and probably drinks a bottle of Jack every night to get himself to sleep). I would rather watch Paris Hilton drooling in a coma than watch their meaningless shit for one second. I watched the Hills once for about 3 minutes. It's a total crap casserole. Heidi WAS a pretty girl back when it started, I will give her that. Now she looks like a pimply tramp. Those shoes are the most hideous skank boots I have seen in years! And the blingy diamond cross? Is she trying to look like the pimp AND the whore at the same time? Fuck even Britney Spears at least wears a tasteful little cross as a symbol of her "beliefs". And she is a batshit crazy attention whore.

Let me guess, the next thing you know there will be "a candid" photoshoot at church? Maybe praying, or reading the bible (in public of course)?

#74, ROTFLMAO!!!!

Ewwww.... She has really bad skin when you look close up.

Let me guess.....this whore is the next celeb to have an opinion.....and how is she a celebrity anyway? CAN'T STAND THIS CHICK!!!!

HAHA she looks actually retarded in the picture of her with the boots.
WOW.

you'd think a girl who got a breast enhancement could see a good dermatologist.

they're so adorable! love them!

Geez, her skin is horrible. You can see those lumps and bumps from a mile away even with her cake face makeup.

Her medical make-up is doing a really crap job of covering up her nasty ass skin.

Check out her visible acne...even the pounds of caked-on foundation can't hide that.

where's that huge "pink diamond" engagement ring he got her?

I finally watched an episode of the Hills, just so I could see if my vein-pulsing hatred was indeed founded.

and it was. And I even had a brief sympathy pang for Heidi because while she comes across worse in the photos, I kind of think Spencer is partly to blame for her Robo-Bitch personality.
He is lazy, stupid, selfish and a plethora of other less than desirable adjectives. Every time he's on screen he's laying around, eating, playing video games or dictating what happens.

Will someone please arrange a hunting trip for Spencer Pratt and Dick Cheney?! If Heidi wants to go along and pretend like she knows what's going on (kind of like the "big" nightclub opportunity in Vegas) - I wouldn't really mind.

The first living, breathing inflatable sex doll. Brain optional

.

What's that black thing hanging down from the necklace? Hair? A thread? Wait, let me go full size...

MY EYES!!!1!

when is she having her black baby!!

Ahh the obligatory christian cross, worn by sluts around the world. Might as well wear a t-shirt declaring "hey, throw me down and fuck me hard while I scream and claw. All is forgiven at church tomorrow".

Please, Please, Please, ignore these two nimrods. Why must you spend any thought on two dolts.

first

his face looks like they modeled Cabbage Patch Dolls after him

um, yeah
slut has a cross around her neck and fucking alcohol in her hand
hyprocrite.
by the way, she celebrates her birthday like a 5 year old. she looks gay holding up her little 2,000 dollar shoes. i don't think shes educated about spending money, or hell.. anything at all. those shoes are ugly.
news flash, retarded bitch
snakeskin shoes went out with your trashy yellow hair

her skin has actually made me feel slightly ill.

vom.

These people make me sick. They have no friends but each other, they live for the camera, they have an exaggerated idea of what their "fame" is, and the only solace I take from any of this is when "The Hills" ends they will die horribly in obscurity. Spencer gay gay gay boy Pratt is the biggest douche on the planet, and if he thinks that people actually like him, and that he is a celebrity with fans, he is sadly mistaken. And Heidi, hitching her train to gay boy, the biggest douche on the planet, now like him, has no friends and celebrates her birthdays like #106 says--a fucking 5 year old. The pictures shown above are ridiculous, no one but them, no fucking friends (but when have they had ANY). They look like they're from out of a j crew catalogue. They're ridiculous wastes of space who need to wipe themselves off my fucking screen.

i bet she sets her vibrator to "stun"

Yikes! I didn't notice it before, but some commenters drew my attention to Heidi's complexion in the picture above. It's a fucking gravel farm on her face isn't it? All that pancake makeup or whatever the fuck she uses ain't covering up a thing! Jeez. Pimples, horrible complexion, nausea-inducing yellow hair (it's fucking yellow!), not to mention, she's getting fat. This chick is vomitous! Yuck, yuck, yuck, uggo, uggo, uggo, YUCK!

i fucking hate them so much. she loves the fucking camera and it makes me sick and spencer looks like he has fucking down sydrome he is the ugliest fuck alive and she is a stupid cunt and this is the fakest picnic ever

Wow...her skin looks HORRIBLE and if shes 22 I'm Elvis.

The compliments alot of americans give to these SNOBS tells us how damn naive people think about this gigantic country.
IF THESE SORT OF (faking) CELEBS "FIX" THE FUTURE OF AMERICA, start praying folks...........

God I hate her! She does have some bad skin...she is one person I hope gets run over by a bus soon! Why is she famous again?

LOL ** OMG ** these two need to get a FKG life!!! That "Spencer " character needs to be dropped off in the middle of no where, lets see if he has the brains to survive the "real world"...as for Heidi, that bitch would not survive at all lol I'm sure Spencer will eat her (and I don't mean downstairs). They need to stop being attention whores b/c no one gives a FK who the hell they are, they're not gods or anything special...just two big mistakes that need to be shot in the head!! Sad to say, no one will miss them too :) So Heidi and Spence, go FK yourselves!!

Die Bitch Die!!! Hate These 2 Assholes!! Die Bitches Die!!!

seriously these 2 just need to fall in a hole and DIE!

Yeah, where are her friends on her birthday?!?

demons don't have birthdays. duh.