Sep 9 2008Ashton Kutcher coaching high school football
As if he could smell the long-dead carcass of his acting career, Ashton Kutcher has accepted the position of assistant head coach for Harvard-Westlake prep school, according to Page Six:
"The team was totally surprised when they showed up for practice and Ashton was there," said our source. "His best friend is the head coach and asked for his help."
The universe is in balance today, my friends: Tom Brady is sidelined, Ashton Kutcher's been reduced to coaching high school football, and I bet there's even a leftover Boston Creme in the employee lounge...
UPDATE: SON OF A VAGINA! Nothing but coconut. I hate you, mysterious cosmos!
Photos: INFdaily.com
Reader Comments
1. Mia - September 9, 2008 12:47 PM
Lucky females!
2. mchole - September 9, 2008 12:48 PM
I believe its called Harvard-Westlake. It's the school the Olson twins went to. Haha and Spencer. Obviously they've got a great track record going.
3. Sababa - September 9, 2008 12:55 PM
You're wrong. the Olson's and Spencer went to Campbell Hall.
4. havoc - September 9, 2008 1:04 PM
Coach Douchebag of the mighty fighting Douchebags.
Who's their mascot?
A Douchebag?
5. a reader - September 9, 2008 1:05 PM
wow, they must be delighted, can Ashton like, make them like winners, you know?
6. Alex - September 9, 2008 1:06 PM
You know, though, to this old lady-fucker's credit, he is one of the most normal celebrities. It'll probably be his downfall.
7. ph7 - September 9, 2008 1:08 PM
Let's hope he scores some sweet young high school pussy. He deserves as much as he can get as a reward for being anchored to that old, face lifted, dried up Demi Moore.
Remeber, when a chick turn 40, trade her in for 2 twenty year olds.
8. Barack Obama - September 9, 2008 1:13 PM
Vote for me. I'm a radical Marxist.
9. The Geekologie Writer - September 9, 2008 1:29 PM
Haha, I buried the last Boston Creme in the bottom of the trashcan just to spite you. Seriously though, just eat the coconut -- food allergies don't mean shit.
10. Somedude - September 9, 2008 1:33 PM
#7 Thing is you can fit four twenty year olds in demi's boobs.
11. stacy the ace - September 9, 2008 1:36 PM
The things I would do to him...................................................
12. Jimbo - September 9, 2008 1:40 PM
I thought you had to have a pair of balls to coach football??
13. it's me Fuckers! - September 9, 2008 2:04 PM
ROFL!! I actually laughed out loud at the update remark! SON OF A VAGINA!! ROFL!!
14. Sportsdvl - September 9, 2008 2:20 PM
Hopefully he's a better coach than he is actor!
15. sixpack - September 9, 2008 2:34 PM
He's an assbag.
16. Dar - September 9, 2008 2:34 PM
Dude, where's my career?
17. Turd Ferguson - September 9, 2008 2:44 PM
he better be careful or he may break a nail.
18. rough daddy - September 9, 2008 2:46 PM
This could be the begining of a ploy to get away from Demi!
19. who dat? - September 9, 2008 2:49 PM
I bet the punter could kick his ass
20. JimmyBachaFungool - September 9, 2008 3:06 PM
Athletes want to be actors, actors want to be singers and singers want to be athletes. Kutcher, apparently is gay.
21. Funny 'cause it's true - September 9, 2008 3:08 PM
@16 - that made me laugh.
Is that a turf field? Good lord.
22. blah - September 9, 2008 3:13 PM
he's a douche but he's still a fricken hot douche...Zip!
23. Nancy - September 9, 2008 3:40 PM
Demi will be doing angry grunting benchpresses with 275 lbs to wind down after going to one of their football games and watching the cheerleaders flirt shamelessly Ashton...and seeing him look like he already knows them quite well...
24. Hey#1 - September 9, 2008 3:56 PM
#1 that is what ashton is betting on. He's tired of all the cosmetically altered middle age pussy he supposed to keep satisfied. He wants more of the young stuff while the girls are still stupid enough to do him. He's gotta cashin on the young trim cuz the older stuff knows he can't act.
25. marc - September 9, 2008 5:08 PM
as a former hdub student, all I can say is wtf?!?!!? At least they've still got a top tier science program
26. farty_mcshitface - September 9, 2008 7:40 PM
yeh, thankfully his career is fading and hopefully we won't have to hear about him much more.
27. Virgodoll - September 10, 2008 4:38 AM
he looks way hotter here than he does in any of his movies, Sexy
28. Toolboy - September 10, 2008 8:43 AM
Not many coaches can pull of the proper combination of "dude, totally, awesome and rock" in a pep talk, but Coach Kutcher can.
29. gerard Vandenberg - September 10, 2008 1:48 PM
LOSERS always cheer for themselves, folks!!
30. mchole - September 10, 2008 2:34 PM
hah oh right, i forgot about campbell hall. we wiped the floor with their football team. although that's not saying much about their team... or ours. we all kinda sucked.
31. el ces - September 10, 2008 4:42 PM
Heh, this would've made a good episode of Punk'd.
32. jl - September 11, 2008 8:29 PM
actually spencer went to crossroads hs