Paris Hilton stars in her own political ad
Paris Hilton in a bathing suit threatening to run for office. Awesome. Not only do I now have eye herpes, but I'm forced to live in fear of a dystopian future where Paris Hilton shapes our country's political discourse. FunnyOrDie folks, that is the complete opposite of funny. So how does this work: Does she die now or do I? Frankly, I'm cool either way at this point.

Reader Comments
1. sTEVE - August 6, 2008 9:02 AM
Mowi
Luvs it.
2. Fish Fish - August 6, 2008 9:10 AM
"strick environmental oversights"... 'nuf said.
3. Prattletale - August 6, 2008 9:10 AM
One thing's for sure, Paris always can be goaded into making a public spectacle of herself in responding to ANYTHING.
If only she could be persuaded into taking the high road and just shutting her mouth---for once. But then there would be a lot of disappointed knobs out there that need to be polished. And it's not like she has a good parental role model in Kathy. Both of their responses are the desired effect....they're too easy. Manipulation baby.
Bummer.
4. sherry - August 6, 2008 9:13 AM
i think i would vote for paris at this point GO PARIS GIVE THEM HELL!!!!!
5. Aaron - August 6, 2008 9:14 AM
The scary thing is that you CAN vote for anybody at a voting booth. I can totally see Paris Hilton's name showing up for like 1000 votes or something in the November election...
6. WickedWitchOfTheWest - August 6, 2008 9:20 AM
On a related note...here's a video of another retard...except this one is kinda funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxODBppps18
enjoy
7. mimi - August 6, 2008 9:21 AM
This ad rocks!
Fish-Head SUKS!
GO PARIS!
8. steve - August 6, 2008 9:26 AM
haha, that ruled.
vote Paris.
9. Magoo - August 6, 2008 9:30 AM
Holy SHIT BATMAN i think im gonna choke Paris actually sounded the slightest bit intelligent like she knows about the energy debate
10. rough daddy - August 6, 2008 9:31 AM
wanna bet they finally had this, after 200 outtakes? a team of producers probably connect the takes, line by line....
11. rustingrabbit - August 6, 2008 9:36 AM
I'm surprised my head is still intact after watching that video. What?! And that was actually a good plan...wasn't hers...but wasn't half that bad. How about she uses come of her millions to help pay for it? I mean her parents. They owe us anyway for letting her crazy ass out into the world.
12. rustingrabbit - August 6, 2008 9:36 AM
I'm surprised my head is still intact after watching that video. What?! And that was actually a good plan...wasn't hers...but wasn't half that bad. How about she uses some of her millions to help pay for it? I mean her parents. They owe us anyway for letting her crazy ass out into the world.
13. havoc - August 6, 2008 9:41 AM
Attention whore.
.
14. RichPort - August 6, 2008 9:44 AM
Nice. I bet she could respond to the energy crisis by say, not being a single person living in a 60000 sq foot house with a pool the size of an elementary school. Or switching to environmentally friendly, vegetable based lube.
#10 - My thoughts exactly. I bet they wasted enough energy to light up the city of Paris trying to get this one right.
15. ishi-san - August 6, 2008 9:45 AM
*hahahahaha*
you can really see that she has no idea what she is talking about when she gives her explanation of the 'energy-policy'!!!!! But WOW, she remembered that text really well!!! maybe she is not as stupid as I though after all *lol*
16. me - August 6, 2008 9:48 AM
OMG THAT WAS HILLARIOUS, i loved it, don't you peeps have a sense of humour?!!!
17. RichPort - August 6, 2008 9:51 AM
#16 - Hey, I have a sense of humOr... I laugh every time you people throw extra letters in your words...
18. zegabe - August 6, 2008 9:51 AM
talking about policies she surely favors loose border controls in the southern areas
it seems many people managed to cross the very, very very weak barriers she had put around her southern border and manged to enter and exit enter and exit enter and exit
19. Meredith - August 6, 2008 9:54 AM
I've never said a kind word about Paris, but that? Was funny. I give her credit for being able to see the humour of the situation.
20. Meredith - August 6, 2008 9:56 AM
I've never said a kind word about Paris, but that? Was funny. I give her credit for being able to see the humour of the situation. RichPort, I'm Canadian. That word has a U in it. Not that I would be so rude as to suggest that you spell it wrong...
21. treeeka - August 6, 2008 9:58 AM
Ha! That was actually really F'ing awesome!
Good job girl! Well spoken.
22. max - August 6, 2008 10:02 AM
Paris, you are stupid, stupid person!!! you have no idea about politics! zip your mouth!!!
23. RichPort - August 6, 2008 10:03 AM
Hi Meredith... I didn't say you ice jockeys spelled it wrong, I just said I chuckle at all the extra letters. I mean, anyoune caun audd aun euxtra "u" whereeuver theuy waunt. It doesn't dehorse my mounties... I'm all types of understanding of third world cultures and shit.
24. ishi-san - August 6, 2008 10:04 AM
@ RichPort (14, 17) : I absolutly agree with your point in 14......
.......but humour with "ou" is not wrong at all!!!!!! that's British English! which is according to me a richer English .....but don't execute me for that, it's just my oppinion! *lol*
25. jeramey - August 6, 2008 10:10 AM
i think i just lolzed a little, i have no idea why
26. Linda - August 6, 2008 10:14 AM
#22
100% right!!!
27. stella - August 6, 2008 10:17 AM
hilarious!
paris is actually funny! go paris ^^
28. Meredith - August 6, 2008 10:23 AM
Thanks for explaining, RichPort. I shouldn't be so quick to be all defensive. It's just that we get a lot of "you're wrong and we're right" from our southern neighbo(u)rs, and national defense is my knee-jerk reaction. Thanks again, and no harm done.
29. buck - August 6, 2008 10:26 AM
if she actually did run for president as a third party she would get 20% of Obama's informed voters.
30. gerard Vandenberg - August 6, 2008 10:27 AM
DID YOU "STUDY" HER SHOE-SIZE?
31. tight lipped smiler - August 6, 2008 10:28 AM
Wow, Paris you actually sounded intelligent. Now get a boob job like you're supposed to.
32. ihatework - August 6, 2008 10:28 AM
Paris supports drilling.... as long as it is in her glory hole.... that in itself is an enviromental disaster...
33. Slackuru - August 6, 2008 10:43 AM
I think I'm scared, she sounded more intelligent and coherent than either of the chumps we are supposed to vote on in the fall!
34. criss - August 6, 2008 10:46 AM
i think shes hysterical
35. sick - August 6, 2008 10:47 AM
That was great!!! In my opinion that was the perfect way to respond to the McCain ad. Way to go, Paris!
36. Kim Lardassian - August 6, 2008 10:56 AM
UGH so vacuous talk of reading autocue. If it was almost any other celeb it would have been funny but for Parisite it just makes me wanna stab her.
37. Kim Lardassian - August 6, 2008 11:01 AM
@17 we laugh every time we realiSe how utterly illiterate and uneducated Americans are we also snigger every time Americans say they speak and write English when they clearly can do no such thing, only the British English speak and write correct English, anything else is a pathetic attempt that fails miserably.
You'll all be speaking Spanish soon enough anyway and then thank goodness we can have English back.
38. Kim Lardassian - August 6, 2008 11:02 AM
@17 we laugh every time we realiSe how utterly illiterate and uneducated Americans are we also snigger every time Americans say they speak and write English when they clearly can do no such thing, only the British English speak and write correct English, anything else is a pathetic attempt that fails miserably.
You'll all be speaking Spanish soon enough anyway and then thank goodness we can have English back.
39. Banquo - August 6, 2008 11:05 AM
OK,..I HATE HATE H.A.T.E. (Hate All Things Even remotely paris) but that was funny, and more to the point spot on.
Republicans have good ideas that are to strictly "Republican" in their philosophy (in that they limit what's good for "the people" over what's good for "the party") The Dems are the same.....
If you combine and/or use bits and pieces from each sides suggestions you usually find the best solution for the people. But that would cut into the lobby contributions/payoffs for either side, so it will never happen.
40. meborg - August 6, 2008 11:07 AM
Why is this skank-whore still around????
WHO CARES
41. Meredith - August 6, 2008 11:10 AM
That's uncalled for, Kim. Be nice.
42. roop - August 6, 2008 11:11 AM
#13. That was exactly the point of the original McCain ad.
43. Cattyluo - August 6, 2008 11:15 AM
It is incredible !I saw her profile on M i l l i o n a i r e 4 m e . c o m ,there are so many hot pictures on this site.If you have interest,you can visit the site.
44. Sam - August 6, 2008 11:15 AM
Vote! Paris Hilton/ Kim Kardashian 08'
45. marie - August 6, 2008 11:20 AM
That is the funniest thing I've seen in awhile. I'd vote for her. She's definitely hot. Not. But whom... who wrote her commerical? Benji Madden?
46. MassGrrl - August 6, 2008 11:23 AM
@37/38: Apparently, those speaking British English have no need for proper punctuation.
47. FIST - August 6, 2008 11:24 AM
Cunt.
48. Paris Sucks - August 6, 2008 11:26 AM
Her nose could pop a balloon.
49. mer - August 6, 2008 11:27 AM
The best part is when she tried to be serious.
Also, that she thinks she's hot.
50. RichPort - August 6, 2008 11:35 AM
#38 & 39 - And yet here you are, commenting on an American blog (ahem)
Bullet Tooth Tony: A bookie's got blagged last night.
Avi: Blagged? Speak English to me, Tony. I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.
Go thee backe to ye olde shoppe you freaking letter waster!!!
51. ishi-san - August 6, 2008 11:36 AM
It could have been funny, if she would not have said such profane things like "white hair dude" and "I'm just hot"....... that makes it become just a joke for morons.....
52. Amanda - August 6, 2008 11:39 AM
That was kinda funny...not gonna lie..I think I like paris a little bit more just for doing that...
53. ishi-san - August 6, 2008 11:40 AM
@ 50: oh yes, be proud of blogs like this!!! well done.....
(yes, I know.....I do read them and I do enjoy them as well *lol*)
54. ishi-san - August 6, 2008 11:45 AM
@ 50: no actually you're right! thank you for creating this blogs for us... this way we have more time to focus on less mass-cultural things and do things that really matter! ;-)
oh and also : humoUr :-)
55. RichPort - August 6, 2008 11:53 AM
#53 - 54 - Your personalities seem to be arguing. They make cyanide pills for that... I saw it in a James Bond flick once.
56. B - August 6, 2008 11:59 AM
At times like these i wish i were American so i can vote for her
57. James - August 6, 2008 12:00 PM
Paris Rocks, the old guy not so much.....
58. Bill - August 6, 2008 12:01 PM
Ok.... I won't lie. I am in no way a fan of Paris Hilton but that was actually funny.
59. ishi-san - August 6, 2008 12:01 PM
@ RichPort: well I like both of me, I would rather not get rid of one of me......
....hehe....I like you!
60. 0bservant - August 6, 2008 12:03 PM
5. Aaron - "The scary thing is that you CAN vote for anybody "
No - the scary thing is that even though you are told over and over again how important your vote is .... it's not your popular vote that elects a president. THAT'S the scary thing. That people actually think their highly solicited vote elects a president
Well they best beware. With my keen observant eyes, I'm all over this one \;-{
I see what you bastards did there, and I'm on the job
61. laDouche - August 6, 2008 12:23 PM
I actually thought this was funny and well done. And though I hate myself for saying it, she does actually look hot.
62. mar - August 6, 2008 12:27 PM
that was awesome. that's what mccain gets for appropriating her image for his commercial without permission.
63. Lindsay - August 6, 2008 12:28 PM
ROFL that was amazing. She actually did a good job, shes sort of right too. (omg, ew did i say that)
but I still like Mccain best.
64. london - August 6, 2008 12:33 PM
i bet she has no idea what the hell she is talking about...can u imagine how many cuts and redos they had to do.
65. gary - August 6, 2008 12:33 PM
Serves McCain right. She struck back at the old creep!
66. LIZZY - August 6, 2008 12:34 PM
WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT! THIS GIRL DOES NOTHING GOOD FOR THIS WORLD YET SHE IS SO FAMOUS. FAMOUS FOR BEING RICH AND HAVING NICE CLOTHES IS ABOUT IT! WHAT AN ATTENTION WHORE! WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO!!!!!!
NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008!
67. RichPort - August 6, 2008 12:43 PM
I see Lizzy is in a tizzy... and her hair is frizzy...
68. yuristache - August 6, 2008 12:44 PM
How could all of you be so negative about Paris Hilton on this ad campaign? After all, she is the first viable female presidential candidate of the year.
69. Eddy - August 6, 2008 12:45 PM
You know, I actually can't believe I'm saying this, but I totally think she's hilarious now. That much self-mockery... I love it.
Its actually not the world's worst idea, either.
70. LIZZY - August 6, 2008 12:53 PM
I SEE RICHPORT IS A STUPID ASS OBAMA LOVER AND CAN KISS MY ASS!!!! AND NO MY HAIR AINT FRIZZY BITCH!!!!
71. LIZZY - August 6, 2008 12:53 PM
I SEE RICHPORT IS A STUPID ASS OBAMA LOVER AND CAN KISS MY ASS!!!! AND NO MY HAIR AINT FRIZZY BITCH!!!!
NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!
72. LIZZY - August 6, 2008 12:53 PM
I SEE RICHPORT IS A STUPID ASS OBAMA LOVER AND CAN KISS MY ASS!!!! AND NO MY HAIR AINT FRIZZY BITCH!!!!
NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!
73. Jess - August 6, 2008 12:54 PM
HAHAHA I LOVED that! That seriously made me like Paris.
74. mar - August 6, 2008 12:55 PM
just as a note - the plan she's plugging is the one obama recently stated he would compromise with (that has brought up the dreadful 'flip-flop' moniker); basically compromising about the offshore US drilling in limited amounts with strict environmental safeguards, while at the same time predominantly pursuing alternative energy.
75. pointandlaugh - August 6, 2008 12:59 PM
I normally loathe Paris Hilton, but that video was damn hilarious.
I'd vote for her.
"SEE YOU AT THE DEBATES, BITCHES!"
love it.
76. blokker - August 6, 2008 1:03 PM
It's not a bad idea! if it wasn't coming out of here mouth
77. RichPort - August 6, 2008 1:07 PM
#70 - 72 - Tourette's much?
78. Skip Smith - August 6, 2008 1:19 PM
OK, that was funny. Herpes or not, I'd do her.
79. ishi-san - August 6, 2008 1:49 PM
@ RichPort: ok, now you made me think you are an actual psychologist! *lol*
@ Lizzy: Classy! *rofl*
80. blabla - August 6, 2008 1:54 PM
Love it!! Never thought I'd like anything coming out of this girl.
Hahahahaha.... Viva non-politics and humour! (except that it's a couple minutes too long)
81. damnit - August 6, 2008 1:55 PM
"I'll see you at the debates bitches." So...I thought this mock-ad was pretty much hilarious.
And it came from Paris Hilton...
Which means I'm ready to jump off a bridge now.
82. janie118 - August 6, 2008 2:03 PM
don´t believe she memorized all that suff about energy saving, look at her face, seems like she is reading it
83. VoteParis2008 - August 6, 2008 2:19 PM
PRESS RELEASE - August 6, 2007
For immediate release:
Paris Hilton is officially on the presidential ballot.
A website to support her campaign can be found at
http://www.VoteParis2008.com.
84. eurotrash - August 6, 2008 2:35 PM
hahahaha this shit is pretty funny.. but on the other hand pretty scary too; i as a european cannot believe that something as serious as political elections actually allows for something as gay and fake as those damn campaign ads u americans seem to need in order to vote. i never thought i would say this, but thank you paris for showing americans exactly how ridiculous their political process really is!
85. ipanema - August 6, 2008 2:53 PM
eurotrash, where exactly from europe are you from?
86. RichPort - August 6, 2008 3:06 PM
#84 - You could stop at "i as a european cannot " and let us fill in the blank.
87. shut your mouth - August 6, 2008 3:09 PM
@ 71
Get your facts straight. She's NOT an Obama supporter. Her family actually gave money to the McCain campaign. The only reason she made this video is because he made a commercial about how Obama is just another celebrity like Paris Hilton.
So...shut up.
88. taxpayer - August 6, 2008 3:29 PM
First - Lizzy, just BREATH!!!
Second - #87, you misread. Lizzy (the insane one) is clearly stating that RICHPORT is the "Obama supporter", not Paris. Also, Mama Hilton did indeed give money to the McCain campaign, yet Paris, as far as we know, did not contribute. Therefore we don't know who Paris supports - obviously not that old guy OR the guy for change. We do know, however stupid she may appear, Paris is for Paris.
89. The Clap - August 6, 2008 3:47 PM
@38
Nice run on sentence. Faulkner or Joyce you're not. I guess we know who cheated through their A levels.
In America, we call your type "GED educated". I'll give you all the time you need to look that up on Wikipedia and scarf down a Big Mac, Taco Bell burrito, Wendy's burger, or listen to rock n' roll, jazz, blues, or even call a friend while you figure it out. Get it? America made all of those things that you folks in the UK obviously love because I don't see any US chains being driven out by boycotts of your "superior" intelligence.
So in reality, the UK folks are just as dumb as the American's and you don't realize you've sadly been our puppets for the past 30-50 years. No wonder you won the War of 1812 but couldn't keep any land.
"Ooh we burned down the White House! FTW!"
"Did you guys take back any of the British Empire?"
"Yes, we called it *New* England. Clever, ya?"
"Uh, it was already called that."
"We burned down the White House!"
BTW - Californian pronunciation of the English language is considered to be one of the most accurate and clear. Perhaps if the British had better teeth, they'd sound like Californians, too.
I win!
90. taxpayer - August 6, 2008 4:15 PM
#89 - you won.
But....
There's no apostrophe in Americans, at least not the way you use it.
All in all though, a nice, cohesive, and indeed catty show of wit and intelligence to those uppity Brits, who can't pronounce aluminum. Cheers.
91. K - August 6, 2008 4:15 PM
Just an FYI, America isn't the fattest country anymore. Look it up, there was an article.
Unfortunately, it's Australia.
92. ishi-san - August 6, 2008 5:05 PM
I think 84 exactly got the point!
But I can also imagine that this is very hard to see from an inside position (Americans are in)....so don't worry, we forgive you for insulting Europeans. *lol*
93. miscmisc - August 6, 2008 6:05 PM
what a dumb b i t c h
94. miscmisc - August 6, 2008 6:05 PM
what a dumb b i t c h
95. Just Dick - August 6, 2008 6:27 PM
I don't know...it's kind of refreshing to see her doing something where she's mocking herself. You think she doesn't know how people view her or how she portrays herself?
The real candidates should've known better than to include her in campaign ads in a negative way. Wouldn't you say something if they did it to you?
96. friendlyfires - August 6, 2008 9:16 PM
Too bad you're not at least 35 years old, Paris, otherwise, you'd be like, totally qualified to lead this rad country.
Bathing suit - bitchen, totally
97. clare - August 6, 2008 11:49 PM
anyone remember '04? she was all about the rock the vote campaign and then never bothered to actually vote.
so...until she does at least ONE thing that is at all civically responsible, let's all do our part to let her fade into oblivion.
98. paris will eat ur soul - August 7, 2008 3:17 AM
Paris was fucking hilarious. acknowledge, accept, and move on. say what you want about her...but the truth is that (unlike most of us) she's free to live her life without giving a fuck. it's a beautiful thing.
99. caitie - August 7, 2008 6:14 AM
This made me lol a bit, but i don't hate Paris. Don't like her particularly - in fact, you could say i don't give a fuck and have no real opinion.
What she was actually saying towards the end there was kind of... intelligent. The whole hybrid scheme idea. Hm.
Jesus. I guess this is a sign of the apocalypse.
@ 91: I'm Australian ;(
The one thing we're beating America at is being fat. Brilliant.
100. The English... - August 7, 2008 6:25 AM
89.
Actually we don't have Taco Bell or Wendy's or any of those other "chains" in the UK except the big three (McDonalds, Burger King and KFC). And I happen to know that BK are dying a death here in the UK. Fast food is so passé. We don't all wanna be fat like our American cousins. If you actually had news about other countries in America you'd know that your beloved Starbucks is also posting losses this year. Oh well. Those of us with a history of more than 400 years know all about the rise and fall of empires. What goes up must come down...
How is the Californian pronounciation of the English Language the most accurate?? That makes no sense. For one thing a language is not fixed it changes with every generation of speakers... The Californian accent might be "the most accurate" inside the United States but not compared to the rest of the world. I, for one, would rather speak with the English accent we have now than Shakespearian or Chaucer's English and anything has to be better than that Californian drawl. That's like so Hot! Oh. My. God! Could I speak any slower and more annoying?! No thanks. Just listening for 10 minutes to those morons on The Hills makes me want to cut my ears off with a rusty bread knife.
And as for Rock N Roll - Thanks for giving us the Beatles and The Stones. How very kind of you. What would our culture be like without America helping us along the way? Oh yeah, that's right, We wouldn't have sarcasm.
Also, in the UK it's spelt - ALUMINIUM.
And now back on topic - Paris rocks. Yes, she's an moronic attention seeking whore with an IQ lower than a bread stick but way to stick it to Mccain.
101. ishi-san - August 7, 2008 7:31 AM
I changed my opinion : # 100 (The English...) FOR PRESIDENT!
102. Whitney Peyton - August 7, 2008 8:26 AM
im actually considering voting for her now...
103. mary card - August 7, 2008 9:58 AM
I loved it. Great job, funny or die.
104. Sarasweetest - August 7, 2008 11:59 AM
I find Paris just as annoying and attention-seeking as the next person, but god damn this was hilarious! I actually laughed out lout at this ad.
For once in my life, probably the only time in my life I'm gonna say
GO PARIS!
105. eurotrash - August 7, 2008 12:32 PM
well go on then richport, fill in the blank! show us all the lengths of your ridiculous patriotism seamlessly mixed with a disgusting lack of knowledge as to what happens outside US borders.
106. anon - August 7, 2008 5:08 PM
Ethnocentrism: (noun) The belief in the inherent superiority of one's own ethnic group or culture.
- From dictionary.com
Looks like Americans aren't the only ones suffering from this. Get over yourselves... and I mean both sides. This debate is stupid and there will never be an end, as both parties arguing are seeing their opinion through the ethnocentrism goggles.
107. glad i don't live in the uk - August 7, 2008 5:38 PM
brits=FAT
108. Binky - August 7, 2008 9:08 PM
well. ok. Good for Paris
Next stop 'inside job' bitches.
I'd volunteer for your campaign manager then PH.
109. Mary - August 8, 2008 7:05 PM
Lizzy:
#70-72: Please don't be from Texas. It's humiliating enough sharing the same home state as ole' W. Alas, I gues I should just be content with the fact that you are Republican.