Aug 26 2008Heidi Montag's new video is here already (Oh, boy!)

First! But why?

With the sound off it plays like a bad episode of Twin Peaks.

lantern-jawed dumbass...

Really now, what does 80's workout video have to do with overdosin on love???? I don't get in...

That made me want to poop.
Is that weird?

I'd tit fuck the hell out of her.

Have mercy...

I don't even know what to say. A wet sock could produce better video caliber using crayons and a pad of post-its. This is really horrifying. And why does the random and painful video footage go on for an extra 6 minutes after the audio stops?

The lengths this broad will go to in order to make a complete ass of herself is amazing.

The really sad part is that she thinks this is cute and funny.

That type of jaw was designed to be on the receiving end of a crushing uppercut

id like to see a full spread of this chick, has hugh hefner made her an offer?

looks like dre's kid took this song to heart.

I love her tits, and daydream about stuffing my dick in her mouth when I see her pictures... sorry, why is her mouth always open if not for me to insert something into it?

Um, wtf is in her tights in that photo? It kinda looks like a MAXI PAD! Nast.

I bet shes a dead fuck.

i know this should be the least of my worries, but why is she continually in slow motion?

Directed by Spencer Cohen and a Six Foot Turkey Production.

Spencer Cohen?

Turkey is right.

wtf? She's going to look like Joan Rivers by the time she's 30.... She must ingest a lot of airborne critters with her mouth gaping open like that.... Large mouth bass?

That's fake....I mean, that's gotta be fake, right? Even two fuck-tards like Speidi wouldn't produce something that rediculous......right?

ok so 50 seconds into it i wanted to hang myself - there goes 10 minutes of my life that i will never get back...

Seriously, she needs to stop everything being in public, thinking she can sing, even thinking she can act. She just needs to be what GOD invented her to be......a stripper.

it looks like something Borat would watch back home - maybe the winner of Kazakh Idol ???

Back in the day, I used to dry hump my pillow dreaming of Olivia Newton John. Come to think of it, I still do

I think the video needs to be longer. 10 minutes and 9 seconds is just too fuckin short for all this talent.

It could use some midgets on tricycles too.

By far the best part, and I'm begging you guys: Fast forward to 5:07 and check out the freak.

that's not too far from the look of the average male as he watches this crapfest.

So.... They thoght we will make something funny so that they wont make any parodies on us...
But they screwd up cause this is not funny.
Its just sad... :(

I don't get it.

This video is the embodiment of all that is wrong with mankind

Can some one explain to me why every picture whether it is "Candid" or not she keeps her mouth open like a idiot or something. I speculate that she is letting the air pressure out before she burst....I am serious look at the past pictures of her on this site you will notice a couple pics in each spot with her damn mouth open!!!!

The sick thing here is that off-camera; some assbag publicist is actually giving her the "thumb's up" sign.

look

at

She is obviously too lame to even lip sync. The "director" must have figured that out early. They just have her randomly flapping her mouth and shaking her ass. Tasks she can perform with a mimimum of direction.

yessh!

that

moist

delectable

warm

@ 9 Ha! good one

@11 That's just wrong, but goddam its pretty funny!

camel

toeeeeee!

A catchy tune that brings out that summer feeling, driving with the top down and the breeze ruffling your hair. Add a finger point and a wink to the ladies next to you and you're solid gold!

Heidi, you continue to push the envelope and your sense of humor is above all! Love ya!

xoxo

Randal

Could someone please kill Randal?

why is this 10 minutes long?

This is gross.

Oh please The Superficial Writer, please call her an asshat again in your next post! I swear she is the dumbest, fakest piece of crap this world has ever seen...

WTF??

I got 41 sec into the video, but then wanted to kill myself for going the 40 sec. longer than my common sense told me to.

Read the comments, do NOT (under any circumstances) watch that video clip.

Please heed my advice.

lol, I was about to report that I made it 42 seconds. Not sure if I should be proud or not.

Why did I press that play button, why why why.

That has got to be her worst yet! WTF is she thinking???

It was driving me crazy that her singing didn't match with what her HUGE open mouth was doing.

I only through 2 minutes of this crap...

Her Chin is HUUUUUUUUGE!!!!!

This isn't the official video. Someone put her video (or a version of it) into slow motion and added a track over it.

This isn't the official video. Someone put her video (or a version of it) into slow motion and added a voice track over it.

This isn't the official video. Someone put her video (or a version of it) into slow motion and added a voice track over it.

I made it through 1:05...what the fuck is that? I thought I could watch it and laugh...but I couldn't even watch it and laugh...it was TERRIBLE! All 1:05 of it

Her voice is sooooo fucking autotuned and she still sucks brown eye. I hope she relizes that everyone in the world wants to give her AIDS

.....it's like the chinese movies, where they're moving their mouths and the words are a couple of seconds off......but then again, I can't help but here HEEHAWW HEHAW when i see this chick open her mouth.

my favorite part is how off her lip syncing is with the lyrics. that's a high quality production right there

wtf Randal?!

I can smell your freakin' Cool Water from here.

shut up.

wtf Randal?!

I can smell your freakin' Cool Water from here.

shut up.

i think you mean "neighbor kids" not "kid's"

So something is off with the video since the sound (the blood curdling sound) is much faster and out of sync with her ever-opening mouth. This looks like a thirteen year old and their friends decided to make an aerobics video and didn't have access to any other store but American Apparel. Some dance moves maybe? Oh no, none of that. We're supposed to be entertained by her and some weird fat guys in the back row. Genius.

I'm pretty sure someone effed up the video and played it at half speed... that's why it's twice as long as the song
goes to show how talented her and her "team" are

Sorry, but this is pretty funny actually. Not what they hoped to achieve, sure, but nonetheless effing hilarious. The slow-mo is awesome. She might be a HUGE tool, but the rest of the cast in the video are a riot.

the biggest mouth-gasping from this white trash......is she really precious to Hollywood??? like crap with her spencer boyfriend....they are so plastic!uurrgghhh.....i feel like to vomit whenever she open her mouth.....biggest whore's mouth......

I'll make this succinct and to the point.

Holy shit. That really sucks.

this video made me feel like a had drunk vision and stumbled into the stupidest workout session ever. the seriously should have just put the camera on her rack for three minutes, at least then my weiner wouldn't have shrunk inward out of horror.

me:"it's okay dude...it's over..."
weiner:"don't fuckin talk to me..."

Holy Cher, it's auto-tuned to high hell! It'd almost be better all off pitch.

What in the fucking donkey kong shit was that??? I mean HOLLY FUCKING DICK SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT???

HOLY see I can't even get my religious swears right I'm so freaked and disgusted by this shit.
Can't someone with a fucking budget of more than $50 make this girl a fucking video? I mean she's as untalented as Britney was post fat induced batshit craziness or was it baby induced, bah same thing. So why the fuck isn't MTV making horrible addictive bubble gum pop shit songs and skanky whore videos that make frat boys hard and young girls into sluts of this gross useless twat? I mean isn't that the whole fucking raison d'etre of the worthless brain numbing mouldy ass cheese farts at MTV?
Fucking do your jobs and make this girl marketable for fucks sake this fucking amateurness is un-fucking-bearable, I'm used to seeing these talentless famous turds in their disgusting, yet common, pre-packaged processed hollywood shit form not like this.

OVER THE WEEKEND YOU STUPID BITCH

what the hell is wrong with her

Don't you EVER compare this to Twin Peaks!!!

Shit, fuck. This is so bad! The stills made it look like it might be sort of funny, but it's like idiot didn't get the joke and they tried to make it sexy. I thought a clumsy, silly 80s workout theme could have at least been moderately entertaining. Okay, sure, the mustache guy was pretty funny... I saw that while I was skipping around.

10 minutes!? Really? Goddamn. It's all slo mo and weird. Did they get so little usable footage that they had to play it all back slow? This is terrible!

Holy SHIT!!! MY GAWD THIS IS AWFUL!! I can watch more of "2 girls, 1 cup" without puking. May God have mercy on her soul. Actually, scratch that. Fuck this bitch. I hope she burns in hell.

Holy SHIT!!! MY GAWD THIS IS AWFUL!! I can watch more of "2 girls, 1 cup" without puking. May God have mercy on her soul. Actually, scratch that. Fuck this bitch. I hope she burns in hell.

Those tights are the cheap ass ones from the dollar store that have a little extra fabric sewed into the crotch, that's what is poking out in the photo. She could afford to spend money on this crap but not get a good pair of tights? Dumbass.

MY EARS AH MY EARS, I WAS ALREADY DEAF DAMMIT

BUT I"LD STILL FUCK HER HARD

VOCODER = CAN'T SING

That chin reminds my of Rodney from the movie Mask.

Didn't Spencer say on David Letterman that he gets $100K just to walk in to a nightclub? If they have allllll this money (to buy a multi-million dollar house too) Why can't they hire someone to make a real music video rather than borrowing their mother's and shooting the video in the basement?!?!?!

THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. I HATE HER SO MUCH.
WHAT THE HELLLLL.. WHY IS THERE LIKE A PAD COMING OUT OF HER LEOTARD. WELL DONE MUSIC VIDEO TEAM, WELL DONE.

THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. I HATE HER SO MUCH.
WHAT THE HELLLLL.. WHY IS THERE LIKE A PAD COMING OUT OF HER LEOTARD. WELL DONE MUSIC VIDEO TEAM, WELL DONE.

Didn't Spencer say on David Letterman that he gets $100K just to walk in to a nightclub? If they have allllll this money (to buy a multi-million dollar house too) Why can't they hire someone to make a real music video rather than borrowing their mother's camera and shooting the video in the basement?!?!?!

@20 That was so hilarious! Right on!

Okay, does anyone else notice that she sings only three notes this whole song? She really needs somebody in that recording studio with her that knows more about actual singing than Spencer Pratt. I wish this video was up to speed. It may have been more tolerable. Let's face it, this girl isn't going anywhere. With that, she could get a lot further with a manager and without all those stupid poses. Judging by all the cheesiness, I'm guessing she was the nerdy one on The Hills.

@20 That was so hilarious! Right on!

Okay, does anyone else notice that she sings only three notes this whole song? She really needs somebody in that recording studio with her that knows more about actual singing than Spencer Pratt. I wish this video was up to speed. It may have been more tolerable. Let's face it, this girl isn't going anywhere. With that, she could get a lot further with a manager and without all those stupid poses. Judging by all the cheesiness, I'm guessing she was the nerdy one on The Hills.

omg this is the most pathetic shit ive ever seen. its worse than hilary duff. I cant beleive they allow this shit to be shown on tv. it hurts my brain.

so. did they film a full on exercise video... i can't figure out why she's mouthing things other than "her" lyrics.

also, i really don't understand why they SLOWED the video down to be intentionally off beat with the song... I mean...
wow.

i never thought anyone could waste money on someone as talentless as this... she makes paris hilton a bonafide pop artist... this is just a joke.

like was snl behind this?

She can't even sing! Her voice is so god damn warped by machines! God damn it Heidi, please just kill yourself. You are such a complete waste of space. Why in the hell would you want to make a career out of being the biggest fucking idiot this planet has ever seen??? Do people just spit on you in the streets??? Because if I ever saw you I would throw things at you, you fucking jackass! Ahhhhhh!

Who is allowing this to happen?
I find it absurd that people like this have somehow become successful.
I hope the demise of her career is quick and painful.

That dude's mustache in the back is dangerously close to upstaging Spencer Pratt's beard in the foreground.

I made it to 00:57 ,I think that wins me a medal, if anyone has seen all of it (and can still form coherent sentences) can you tell me if it's really 10 min long?

"A catchy tune that brings out that summer feeling, driving with the top down and the breeze ruffling your hair. Add a finger point and a wink to the ladies next to you and you're solid gold!"

#39 Randall, or should I say.... Tom Cruise (trompets), honestly who are you trying to out gay ?

This just goes to show how bad Specer is at this stuff. The following link is her video at the correct tempo. It took someone on YouTube to fix it for them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmZZtJbOkK0

And yes, it's just as horrible as the slow mo version.

KILL IT.

Hi Spencer and Heidi. This is Satan. I want to cut a deal with you to help you sing better Heidi (that will take some REAL effort on my part), and if possible, help Spencer to stop being so fucking ignorant every fucking time he opens his mouth.

I have helped a lot of people before to get famous (they usually have SOME talent though). You must come to my side though. True, I don't have some church you can hire some photographer to take pics of you coming and going out of with some pathetic blogger companion, so I know this is a big sacrifice. But, I can maybe possibly make you a better singer with my powers.

The thing is, I have to listen to this shit you two are putting out, your so called Official Videos and shit, so I am really doing this to spare myself having to listen to your tragic voice. Being that I am in charge of all music, I actually invented it as you know (or maybe you didn't get that far into the Holy Bible yet?), I must get involved here. Several conditions first have to be met. 1. Spencer must tell the truth and admit he is gay on TV and that Heidi is a cover, I mean, obviously, even someone as dumb as Heidi Montag wouldn't seriously date a piece of shit like you, Spencer. Get real. 2. Heidi must admit on TV that Spencer really did in fact start the rumor of the sex tape, and that she admits LC is far prettier and cooler than she is, and that she lives to one day even be half as cool. The truth is Heidi, your face is like, well, nasty. LC and that other one, Patridge, these girls are fucking hot. I don't fix faces though sweet tits, sorry.

The bottom line is, you two losers, I actually care about what music gets put out into the airways. So either work with me, or I shut you two pieces of shit wanna be stars down Michael Jackson style. Got it?

Oh, also, Director Spencer, usually when you post a video, try to have the music AND the video be the same length, if you can't figure out your little PC software and Target brand video camera, there are many 12 year old's out there that will gladly show you how to run that stuff.

Thank you Satan!

I love the background dancers!!!!!! Where the hell did they find those people?! They are quiet hilarious! ....and I actually fear that even they know, how unbearable the video is...

Heidi is absolutely gorgeous~~~Her is profile is showing up at a super model site named Richromances.com. Good luck, beauty!

@94

YOU'RE RETARDED.

who is that? Is she like someone's personal trainer?
She didn't even hit all the problem areas? And that was hardly an aerobic workout? Is she certified? Can we have Richard Simmons or Jane Fonda look into her credentials please?

Wait, is this video REALLY 10 minutes long? Jesus Christ I can't believe I hit pause on Pandora to watch/listen to this crap. I do like how the light glistens off her fake, plastic rack, though.

Hey, this is almost insipid enough to be Christian pop.

THE FART'S ARE COMING SOON!!

is that for real??????????????????

Uggh, watched it in normal speed on Youtube. What the hell was I thinking???

She knows she is shit at least and it's tongue in cheek, I only looke dta the pictures though, no way am I making my ears bleed, my head only just got over the rap 'break' in the Hayden Panettiere 'music' video.

I have a couple thoughts...

1- I don't get the 80's execise video and song lyrics
2- what happened to the music after a couple minutes
3- I'd plow Heidi into Novemeber if I had the chance.

can someone please punch her horse face?

"That type of jaw was designed to be on the receiving end of a crushing uppercut" from #9

I almost spit the food out of my mouth in laughter read I read that.

She gets paid with reality checks that bounce..

She really needs to stick to her dayjob, oh wait she doesnt have one. I forgot its all about being fake and acting like a dumb ass. She cant sing !

It's not supposed to be in slo mo - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ETzyEjOpns

SHIT! Pure shit. And what a fucking blatant ripoff of Drew Barrymore's "Body Fuzion" video: http://www.drewbarrymore.com/video-snlbodyfuzion.html

One-hundred and tenth!

I tried watching the video again, and she just doesn't do anything for me. The guy with the mustache is just a little too creepy. To me, she didn't stand out from anyone else in the video. I wish she wouldn't open her mouth so wide, that doesn't look natural. I could see her moving up in the industry though if she had a better coach.

one hundred eleventh

I want my money back

At least I'm not the only one who thought it was going in slowmotion...I was starting to think that the video was having an adverse effect on my thoug-ooooh a bunny!

wow.
what a fucking abortion.

Did anyone else notice this video is a total rip-off of Erik Prydz's "Call on Me" video, which was completely hotter and sexier than this video will EVER be.

Here's the link-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-2iwGeZ2O4

Fucking horrible mentos commercial. I couldn't get past 57 seconds. I am such a pussy.

Nice halogen lamp in the background. Where did they film that - a vietnamese nail salon?!

Ugh. Come on, seriously? The song alone makes my ears bleed but the video, oh God the video! Prattface should stick to what he knows, jamming his head up his butt.

Ugh. Come on, seriously? The song alone makes my ears bleed but the video, oh God the video! Prattface should stick to what he knows, jamming his head up his butt.

bitch needs and arrow between her eyes

watch the trailer for the Cremaster Cycle by Matthew Barney with the sound off on overdosin - makes much more sense . . .

Whoa....why has no one mentioned that this is a blatant RIPOFF of CALL ON ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

i cant stand her and her bffl spencer let alone this stupid video. i couldnt even finish 15 seconds of this video for me to dub it DUMB!!! i cant believe any music producer would give her any thumbs up for any song even if she is famous for doing the hills-- fyi heidi you wouldnt be famous if it wasnt for LC-- you were just riding on her horse wagon so you could be famous cause noone would know her if she wasnt on the show- she wasnt rich or anything or talented she was just a dumb sidekick who dropped off school after 1 class on the first day-- could we all just please stop paying attention to the dumb blonde...

i cant stand her and her bffl spencer let alone this stupid video. i couldnt even finish 15 seconds of this video for me to dub it DUMB!!! i cant believe any music producer would give her any thumbs up for any song even if she is famous for doing the hills-- fyi heidi you wouldnt be famous if it wasnt for LC-- you were just riding on her horse wagon so you could be famous cause noone would know her if she wasnt on the show- she wasnt rich or anything or talented she was just a dumb sidekick who dropped off school after 1 class on the first day-- could we all just please stop paying attention to the dumb blonde...

Does anyone actually buy her album?

At least American Apparel profited from all the clothing in this video.

At least American Apparel profited from all the clothing in this video.

HOLY FUCK KILL IT WITH FUCKING FIRE NOW NOW NAO

@ 109

EXACTLY !

This is a rip off of Olivia Newton-John's 'Physical'. Except the song is 100 times worse and Olivia looked 100 times better.............plus it was 26 yrs ago!!

...
OK then, two seconds into the video....
What a total waste of film , time, and money.
I agree with #13 wtf is up with the maxi pad?
God, is there all there is anymore?
Talentless, spunkfilled,std carrying,fake tits assed, junkie bitches left in Horriwood?
ummm...yeah

i wonder if that is what hell is like???

is this for real??

is this for real??

is this for real??

is this for real??

this isn't a music video, its her audition tape to be one of gunther's sunshine girls

this is either meant to look like crap or no one is telling her to stop making herself look like an idiot on camera

OMFG - can that stupid cocksucker ever keep her mouth shut?

I love the way she has slightly, and i stress slightly, uglier "people" cast in her video so that maybe, just maybe, she will seem slightly attractive.

You know, i've never actually been insane enough to actually watch an episode of The Hills (that is the name of the mind destroying work of art which she so un-ashamedly decided to be part of right?, i'm sorry i'm just not so "up-to-date" with the complete and utter shit featured on tv these days) but I hear its meant to actually follow real life "lives" d'you reckon the producers would integrate Heidi Fucktag's failing music career into the show, just for kicks? I'm thinking of writing a letter to persuade the producers that their ratings would increase dramatically if they did...

I love the way she has slightly, and i stress slightly, uglier "people" cast in her video so that maybe, just maybe, she will seem slightly attractive.

You know, i've never actually been insane enough to actually watch an episode of The Hills (that is the name of the mind destroying work of art which she so un-ashamedly decided to be part of right?, i'm sorry i'm just not so "up-to-date" with the complete and utter shit featured on tv these days) but I hear its meant to actually follow real life "lives" d'you reckon the producers would integrate Heidi Fucktag's failing music career into the show, just for kicks? I'm thinking of writing a letter to persuade the producers that their ratings would increase dramatically if they did...

I love the way she has slightly, and i stress slightly, uglier "people" cast in her video so that maybe, just maybe, she will seem slightly attractive.

You know, i've never actually been insane enough to actually watch an episode of The Hills (that is the name of the mind destroying work of art which she so un-ashamedly decided to be part of right?, i'm sorry i'm just not so "up-to-date" with the complete and utter shit featured on tv these days) but I hear its meant to actually follow real life "lives" d'you reckon the producers would integrate Heidi Fucktag's failing music career into the show, just for kicks? I'm thinking of writing a letter to persuade the producers that their ratings would increase dramatically if they did...

This is what's wrong with the world today. Even a marginally, kinda, halfway, dead-looking skank like this can get rich and famous for doing nothing but being a skanky ho willing to do anything for money.
Please don't get me started on the jewboy girlfriend of hers, did I hear him say he makes $50.000 a night appearance fee at a bar? Well, yeah, I heard him say it but of course NO ONE believes that shit, not even that little ass-wipe himself! What a freaking joke these two are!