Aug 18 2008Audrina Patridge in a bikini

WOW - never first

Would suck her tits dry. Then rehydrate her with douche. After then suck her clit dry of the douche. Would love to drink this girl's douche water.

It's motorboat time, bitches.

I'd like to chili-dog her.

FINALLY - someone worth seeing in a bikini - THAT's a hot girl. Thanks for the curves...

no complains here,,,other than id like to smell that blonde girl's shoulders.

Hey Mike (#2)... even I think you went too far there...

I'm not saying I wouldn't do that.. I'm just saying.. chill out man...

Why isn't she wearing the pearl necklace I gave her?

Beaver teeth and fake funbags

Props to her plastic surgeon. Nice cans!

All those drunks in the pool - and you know not a single one is getting out to pee.

Why is she sitting atop a yeti?

Nothing special except for her fake boobs and cute smile. But that's enough for me. Can we have sex now?

Definitely way hot.

Where the black people at today Superficial?

I think she should be sitting beaver to face while on her shoulders. Too many dikes around these days.

those sunglasses do a good job at hiding her wonky eyez!
YA CAN'T FOOL ME, AUDRINA!

Nice to meet you Audrina. We've never met before. Name's Randal, how are you?

Love the glasses! Are they by Alexander Mcqueen by chance?

Keep smiling beautiful!

Randal

turn that around into a Batista bomb

Oooooh #2 You should consider a career as a romance novelist or maybe a poet.
You have a level of taste and sophistication that is startling in its originality. I am guessing your sex life consists of a lot of fantasy...or should I say only fantasy? You fantasizing that somewhere on Earth there is a woman depraved enough and hideous enough to consider sex with you, but of course that never materializes so you stick to your writing and your fantasizing and little by little insure that every person who reads something you wrote loses their desire to have sex for an hour or a day or even a month because that's what you specialize in...making sex sound like an activity for deranged psychopaths and you #2, you do that better than anyone.

15 pounds tooooo fat

@#19: You are hilarious.

I would love to be the blond chick. I'd be facing the other way though.

geez! what a fckin fox ... lover to def. chk her out here with yung hottie Kira P
http://youtube.com/watch?v=neGRQr08r1Y

...and suddenly my pee-pee maker comes to life...

Wow. More please.

In keeping with the one-sided posts, here's to you Fish:

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
----------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-- --------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
------------------------------------------------------

Trashy and fake, but she still looks pretty good, which is weird. I love seeing an absence of fat, so I give her props for that, fat is nasty except in nice shapely boobies. Too bad she has rock hard fake ones. Oh well.

Fish this does makes up for standing up for Veingy and Brad. You done good, now please don't ever stand up for those turds again. This is where we trash celebrities, even if they are purdy YOU MUST TRASH THEM.

that is boob-tacular!

She is soooooo fat. Lose some lbs, fatty.

That pool is ghetto soup.

And one magnificent set of chesticles.

I love this woman. And that other chick she's sitting on is so lucky to have Audrinas' beautiful camel toe on the back of her neck.

I would go down on her for a month. With no sleep.

She looks alot better when you cant see her wonky eye.

Lets hope she signs on to endorse Rayban or something

So hot!! Guys~~~you should be aware of that more models and beautiful women are now looks for love and relationship at Richromances.com

Damn, that's a crowded pool.

Why is every time I read the comments on here I feel like a ton of people desperately attempt to emulate the author's writing style in their responses? Just for the record, please, please, please stop, the majority of you aren't witty or even remotely well-written and in your (fall-on-your-face) failures this only becomes blatant.

#19, on top of being painfully unfunny your aim may be slightly off as I'm sure he was being dead serious and there wasn't a tongue planted firmly in his cheek.

10. you are so right. Especially in hottubs. My cousin pisses himself constantly. back to this chick. Yea so shes thin and has an average face with eyes that look like theyre always looking up. Freaky! Pass

Imagine all these people are peeing in that pool.

she has cankles ... eww

did she drop her brain in that pool. Girl is dumb. I do not care how good her body is, she should just drop dead for being that STUPID.

visit my blog to see what i think about the HILLS girls

http:://youritgirl.blogspot.com

I'm 82 years old, and THAT puts a tilt in my kilt!

I'm 82 years old, and THAT puts a tilt in my kilt!

Bucky Beaver! Great body, hideous face. She always looks mentally disabled.

Look out for that Reuben Kincaid hun.
I always thought he seemed a bit 'shifty' - if you know what I'm saying.

When she hits 30, she'll be begging for work.

GAP REFUND!!!!

#35 I am guessing you are #2 and Mike is your online trucker persona. Because there is a big difference between tongue-in-cheek and downright disgusting. One is witty and one is just disgusting.

By the way, people who use "a ton" as a descriptive phrase really should not criticize other people's writing.

She has a GREAT body! You can see she works out.. And so do I! Though I'm hotter..

What is that blonde thing coming out of her vagina?

She looks like Eva Angelina in the feature photo. Only filthier.

I'm sure: THIS WOMAN IS A CURSE!!

So, basically, they stand around with drinks in their hand trying to keep their hair dry at the pool?

Now that's more like it. Who gives a FUCK about Selma Blair.

Those tittays are badonkadonk! Craaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzyyyyy!!!!!!!

she's hot as hell. unless she's not white. hang the bitch if she aint white. don't tell me whether she is or not till i'm done jerkin off to these photos. it'll only take me a minute or two.

Face = 6
Breast = 6
Ass = 3
Figure = 6

She has no ass.

No Ass No Deal!

#2 - Don't sweat barbie. She is 250lbs and has not seen her feet in 3 years. Audrina on the others hand has a coochie that tastes like Karo syrup. Audrina appreciates a good wanking.

The top of her head is very pretty and, really, that's all I would care about anyway.

@56

Homo.

Gawd...what I would love to do to those funbags!!!

the ONLY thing keeping her from looking like a typical hollywood, fake, plastic whore is her dark hair.

@52: Yeah, probably that's it ... Waiting for a guy to fuck her overestimated body. But what about the guys in that pool? They must all be gay-lords! Or how do you explain that noone got a boner because of that hot thing ...

I'm not impressed..and that's an ugly fucking bathing suit too..and I'm also getting tired of seeing these "bitches in bikinis" stories too. You need to find better stories, your ass is beginning to hit rock bottom....

#2 (mike), you are my hero...and made me shit my macro made shorts

If you like the boobs you can get some yourself for about $4,000. #2 could just get off on himself/itself all day and drink his/it's own douche water.

She is much better than that weird goth chic Deeta Von whatever but still looks like your averagely cute college chic with a boob job. Nothing to write home about.

Also the eyes are always looking up. Now that is weird or a sad attempt at looking sexy. Also what is up with the upper lip....since these folks like injections so much why not fork over the $550.00 for some juvederm.

drive a truck thru those fake boobs

Hey Mike, Alex, Spanky and Brian:

Maybe you should form a boy band and call it "We're All the Same Weirdo"? Your first hit could be called "Drinking the douche water" and maybe another could be called "Shit my shorts."

It would of course be a classic with prison gangs and Neanderthals everywhere.

kisses, Barbie

@ #67
Apologize for reiteration, but damn, just ouchies. I don't even really get the whole boy band correlation here, how am I in anyway linked to these other posters? Your first response was definitely my favorite as it's fairly obvious by your relatively serious demeanor that I took some of the wind out of your sails. And talk about grasping at straws, would you have preferred "a lot of" or is "a copious amount" more your style(Hint: it isn't)?

I am serious though, and believe me this isn't just targeted at you, about the whole wannabe/emulation thing, PLEASE STOP, he's/she's not even that funny to begin with(I will admit to moments of hilarity like that one about the toaster killing the woman upstairs or whatever).

I saw here nude photos.

She should sue her Doctor. Her tits point up and they go off to the side.
What a hack job he did on her.

is it just me or does the blonde who has her on her shoulders look like kate hudson?

Hmm .....
That is one crowded god damn pool !!
What a freaking pool-party !!!
It's a bash - a party !!
Notice there is beer and no kiddies around that pool.

Let the alcohol flow ... I don't need no consolation, I don't want your reservation
I only got one destination baby, and that's your dirty love
Them some damn hawt~ whores ridin each other

*W000T*
How in the hell is it I wasn't invited to this blow-out??
Must've misplaced my invitation ... or it got lost in the mail ... or sumpin

yuck/ white people

@72
And what if she had a "black" grandmother (speaking in "crayola speak" so you understand)...would that make her MORE or less appealing? Or do you consider the color "white" an actual race?

yeah, white is a race. i think we all can agree on that. and white people are ugly. and gross.

if you think this retarded ho-bag is hot, you're a closet homosexual with some freudian issues. no ass, no hips, buck teeth, rotten implants, bitch is a fuckin train wreck. take your ass back the Ho C.

@72 and 74......it's pretty obvious you feel inferior to white people. And white isn't a race you fucking morons, but caucasian is, huge difference. I won't stoop to your level and try and degrade black people. People with your mentality need to hurry up and die, so the rest of us civil, intelligent, open minded beings can progress forward and travel the stars. The rest of you scum are just useless eaters holding back the human race, regardless of skin color. Put that in your fucking pipe and smoke, fucking simpleton.

I'll bet she's probably bouncing up and down, rubbing her clit on the back of that blond girl's neck.

u guys r TRIPPIN ...she's too hot!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=neGRQr08r1Y

I'd recite the ABC's to her snatch through a cazoo just to try something different.

This beauty could use some fine pearl chest jewelry...
I'm all about donations!

#70 - maybe the face a bit but Hudson has a concave chest - this ones sporting some solid mammary. Hot diggity.

#76 - caucasian is just another word for 'fair skinned' so I wouldn't really say it fits in a racial category because it's too broad.
Unless we're talking about only two categories, being fair skinned and dark skinned, and since that's what pretty much everyone never shuts about then I'd assume we are.