Jul 1 2008Spencer Pratt's Douche Manifesto revealed
Somebody, somewhere on the Interwebs decided to do some research (?) into the whole Mary-Kate Olsen/Spencer Pratt feud which apparently started back in high school. In a 2007 Details article, Spencer brags about selling a picture of an underage Mary-Kate drinking at a party for $50,000. On top of of that, he also dishes out his blatant attempts to leech the everliving fuck out of the celebrity world even if it requires having sex with Heidi on video:
On getting Brody to date Nicole Richie:
“All right, then here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you’re gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right? You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that shit, bro. You’ll be, like, a fucking hero to America.
On being famous
“What does it take to be famous nowadays? Nothing! Look at Nicole. She’s on the cover of every magazine every week. And why? Because she doesn’t eat. Well, lots of girls in this country don’t eat. That’s, like, my whole philosophy with Brody—make him part of that."
On starting his own sex tape scandal:
Pratt spends 20 minutes talking about how he plans to make a tape of himself and Heidi Montag having sex, which he’s thinking about posting online.
On Kevin Connolly of HBO's Entourage:
“That guy is a joke,” Pratt says with scorn. “We were Entourage before Entourage.” He’s not joking. To Pratt, the notion that someone would become famous by acting is ridiculous. “Why would anyone act,” he asks, “when they can just play themselves?”
Dear Hollywood,
I know you're reading this because you can't get enough awesome. Don't worry; your secret's safe. In return for my silence, I'm calling in a favor. The next time Spencer Pratt comes to your office with some sort of asscockian pitch, I want you to throw a bucket of AIDS in his face. Nothing fancy. Just a bucket of AIDS. If you don't have a bucket of AIDS or recently threw one at a member of the Hogan family, I'd be glad to provide you with another one - free of charge.
Together we can make a difference.
The Superficial Writer.
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Reader Comments
1. SoCalSteve - July 1, 2008 11:28 AM
FIRST!!!
2. SoCalSteve - July 1, 2008 11:28 AM
Second!!!
3. English Bob - July 1, 2008 11:29 AM
And here we are again.......More posts of these gormless fucktards or Mr. and Mrs. America as we like to call them.....
4. sportsdvl - July 1, 2008 11:29 AM
FRST
5. surlywench - July 1, 2008 11:30 AM
He's sooo fugly.
I'd like to throw the two of them in a pit along with Amy Winehouse and see who comes out alive. My money's on Amy.
6. tabacchifc - July 1, 2008 11:31 AM
who cares?
7. Jimbo - July 1, 2008 11:35 AM
Did I read it right? Spencer and Heidi are going some lesbo porn? I bet Spencer is into DP!!
8. kat - July 1, 2008 11:37 AM
dearest fish -
please give these fucktards a break already. YOU are the one keeping them famous by posting on them everyday. their story lines are only getting more and more ridiculous as the days go by. the public cannot STAND it anymore. i know i want to gouge out my own eyes just seeing them on here again. they would just go away if no one cared to post about them or write an article about them. let's start the trend. i'm begging you.
sincerely,
everyone
9. Brian - July 1, 2008 11:40 AM
These idiots are only famous because of the prevalence and popularity of the modern paparazzi. If anyone outside of the US looks at these two in the pseudo-news and assumes that they represent the quintessential American they have some problems with narrow-mindedness.
Long story short? You think these two are ridiculous? Don't hold it against Americans, we think they are just as ridiculous, and an embarassment.
10. sportsdvl - July 1, 2008 11:40 AM
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11. sportsdvl - July 1, 2008 11:40 AM
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12. Dura - July 1, 2008 11:43 AM
All these postings about these two and I still doen't know who the hell they are and why they are famous.
13. Dura - July 1, 2008 11:43 AM
All these postings about these two and I still don't know who the hell they are and why they are famous.
14. Vince - July 1, 2008 11:46 AM
Nothing personal, but I really think this douchbag needs a down to earth ass whooping....
What about challenging him to fight MMA style??
Even if he didn't puck out, I think it would be worth it.... Hmm... Maybe.... :)
15. meg - July 1, 2008 11:48 AM
I hate how this guy thinks hes some sort of PR genious... like really he's gonna have to branch out from taking staged pictures of easter egg hunts and shit for him to get famous. And on top of all that..... they support Mcain? is that some sort of a joke? i really can't tell who that hurts more...
16. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - July 1, 2008 11:50 AM
Did I miss the story about the model who thought she could fly until the pavement crushed her dreams?
17. Ted Kennedy's tumor - July 1, 2008 11:55 AM
AIDS, it's whats for dinner!
18. sportsdvl - July 1, 2008 11:57 AM
These 2 are the biggest examples of losers becomming celebs when they don't have any talent what so ever! Very sad.
Almost as sad as the fact I've had 3 troll postings on this thread already before I ever logged on. It seems if you are going to be a troll, you'd at least try to be funny or something. I'm guessing the type of people who like Heide and Spencer are the exact same people who are trolls.
19. Barak Obama - July 1, 2008 12:00 PM
Man, I wouldn't want to catch AIDS again!
Vote democrat! millions on welfare depend on you.
20. Giomon_Rocks - July 1, 2008 12:06 PM
Someone please, for the love of humanity, take one for the team and cut this motherfucker's head off. I'm so fucking sick of this "Hills" shit.
21. Chuck - July 1, 2008 12:07 PM
Thanks for the post Brian, Im from Holland and al the seasons of the hills are airing on mtv these days.
Which makes everyone believe here that all americans are like the newport harbor/laguna beach/the hills & all of the other MTV realityshows 'characters'.
Spencer is such an fugly A-hole unbelieveable that people like him excist.
22. tom jones - July 1, 2008 12:09 PM
God i cannot stand even looking at this tool bag. Please strike him down with a lighting bolt while he is knee deep in a metal lined swimming pool.
23. tom jones - July 1, 2008 12:09 PM
God i cannot stand even looking at this tool bag. Please strike him down with a lighting bolt while he is knee deep in a metal lined swimming pool.
24. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - July 1, 2008 12:10 PM
Hey Chuck, send me some wooden shoes, will ya?
25. Jackspratling - July 1, 2008 12:10 PM
Nine months ago, we all wanted a break from whatever Britney or Paris or whoever was doing. Compared to these talentless hacks, Firecrotch/Britney/Paris and TCLTC seem pretty good right now.
The only thing more frightening than Spencer Pratt's doucheness is the soulless, vacant look in Audrina Partridge's eyes. Actually, there is one more thing even more frightening than even that-- the fact that I even know who these hosebags are.
26. coffeebean - July 1, 2008 12:12 PM
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You fucktard Democrats nominated a terrorist douchebag that can't even produce a valid birth certificate to prove that he is a US citizen.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
27. Angry Beaver - July 1, 2008 12:12 PM
This picture makes me feel strange. I'm getting an uncontrollable urge to put my fist through his gut, yank out his intestines and strangle him with them. Anything to get this fuckwad to shut the hell up. Maybe like in the cartoons, you could pull his tounge out about five feet and let it snap back and knocking his head off. Or better yet, tie him up and lock him in a room with Mary Kate, armed with a baseball bat and a strap-on.
28. Felicity - July 1, 2008 12:14 PM
why won't he die already?
29. Felicity - July 1, 2008 12:14 PM
why won't he die already?
30. Felicity - July 1, 2008 12:14 PM
why won't he die already?
31. Felicity - July 1, 2008 12:14 PM
why won't he die already?
32. Felicity - July 1, 2008 12:14 PM
why won't he die already?
33. here's your teabag - July 1, 2008 12:14 PM
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Obama leads in every poll in every battleground state.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
34. zizzy - July 1, 2008 12:18 PM
At first I could forgive this guy or being a total douche because I figured he was just raised that way and you can't really help how you're raised.
Then they backed John McCain and even then I could forgive him for that because, lets face it, a lot of undereducated asshole believe are doing the same and if he becomes President he'll end up dying from the draft to Iran or whatever country they're taking over next.
But insulting Kevin Connolly? You have gone too far. This guy is a total ass bag and I'm pretty sure he uses more hair product then everyone from the 80's combined. Get a real job..and no you weren't the first entourage. Real crews have balls...you guys have a noticeable lack.
35. zizzy - July 1, 2008 12:18 PM
At first I could forgive this guy or being a total douche because I figured he was just raised that way and you can't really help how you're raised.
Then they backed John McCain and even then I could forgive him for that because, lets face it, a lot of undereducated asshole believe are doing the same and if he becomes President he'll end up dying from the draft to Iran or whatever country they're taking over next.
But insulting Kevin Connolly? You have gone too far. This guy is a total ass bag and I'm pretty sure he uses more hair product then everyone from the 80's combined. Get a real job..and no you weren't the first entourage. Real crews have balls...you guys have a noticeable lack.
36. coffeebean - July 1, 2008 12:22 PM
"Obama leads in every poll in every battleground state."
So reports MSNBC.
Just keep believing them.
37. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - July 1, 2008 12:26 PM
I do believe Entourage was based on Marky Mark's friends. And do think "Douchebaggia" was based on Spencer's family fuck sessions.
38. sportsdvl - July 1, 2008 12:29 PM
Yes, "Entourage" was based on Marky Mark. While "Gay Butt Bangers Vol 4" was based on Spencer Pratt and his friends.
39. yawn - July 1, 2008 12:45 PM
spencer is winning.
40. prometheus - July 1, 2008 12:47 PM
Are Spencer Pratt and Tucker Max the same guy?
41. lulu - July 1, 2008 12:47 PM
so THATS how he's famous...he sold a pic of somebody who HE said was getting publicity from HIM! WHAT A FUCKIN FAGGOT! LOL!!!!
42. here's your teabag - July 1, 2008 12:48 PM
""Obama leads in every poll in every battleground state."
So reports MSNBC.
Just keep believing them."
I knew you didn't know how to read. Polls are published, not just reported on TV. Every published poll, nationally and in-state, shows Obama ahead in every battleground state. That's a fact, not an opinion.
43. bigSTEAMYone - July 1, 2008 12:53 PM
I would like to kick both of these FUCKTARDS right in the nuts.
44. 21st century digital boy - July 1, 2008 1:02 PM
Wow, I never noticed what a giant, Frankenstein head this douchemeister has. (Huge melon, but no brain - go figure.) His forehead seems to go on for at least a mile.
45. Ted Mosby - July 1, 2008 1:02 PM
I wouldn't mind seeing Heidi spread on all fours. Sadly, I think we have a better chance of seeing Spencer do that.
46. free lily - July 1, 2008 1:10 PM
How the fuck is this clown and why is he constantly on this site? I've never seen or heard of him outside of this website. Why is he a "celebrity"?
47. free lily - July 1, 2008 1:11 PM
Sorry, it should say, "Who", not "How".
48. grobpilot - July 1, 2008 1:12 PM
"A bucket of AIDS". That's fuckin' funny.
49. hendero - July 1, 2008 1:22 PM
Someone should tell him there's a box of Heidi's used tampons in the middle of the desert, and when he goes to collect them, wham - the air force drops a nuke on him.
That would rule.
50. justifiable - July 1, 2008 1:22 PM
I read the original article - he's the son of a "celebrity dentist". This guy will be probably be done, buried and forgotten in 6 months, but I vote for live burial right now.
51. Tom - July 1, 2008 1:27 PM
This guy is an obvious idiot and so is his girlfriend, but I would like to watch Heidi fuck somebody, even if just to see how bad she is in bed. Also, I have to give them respect for the whole "sex tape" idea in general. If releasing a tape of me fucking would make me rich and famous, I would at least consider it.
52. JR - July 1, 2008 1:36 PM
I would like to kill both of them.
53. Drunkman - July 1, 2008 2:00 PM
Are those quotes for real???? That kid needs to get the shit kicked out of him.
54. Rand - July 1, 2008 2:08 PM
please stop posting and writing about them omfg. they are so fuckin annoying. geez everytime i look at spencer and hidi montag's face i wanna like break my computer screen !
55. Nathan Seiberg - July 1, 2008 2:18 PM
Wow, I didn't think it was humanly possible (operative word: human), but Pratt actually makes Paris Hilton look like an intelligent, talented celebrity I think he just defied the laws of physics. Although, she and Nicole Richie did inadvertently spawn him, so I'm not sure. I need to reconstruct my algorithms again. My God, I think he ripped a hole through the fabric of time and space. We're about to be invaded by hordes of ego-Pratt monsters from another dimension. Okay, I'm off to get one last salsa omelette from IHOP before I kill myself.
56. Captain Pugwash - July 1, 2008 2:49 PM
http://www.hostpix.us/files/au2t4p3fp2cygdtg9qrk.jpg
57. Kate - July 1, 2008 2:53 PM
No AIDS wouldn't be the right kind of punishment for this douche, because he would just go on living, without any care, and probably be a spreader. The BEST form of punishment for this douche is something that's going to hit home with him, and I mean something that will send him into a deep dark place because his career would be over. A bucket full of acid. On the face. Would permenately disfigure him and ruin his self entitled "good looks", he wouldn't be smiling then. Just saying. A bucket ful of acid to the face and we'd never see him again.
58. Coco - July 1, 2008 2:58 PM
Brooke Hogan should run over him
Oh and whoever believes they are having straight sex must be nuts.
59. MonkeyMan777 - July 1, 2008 3:02 PM
I wish a meteor would fall on these two. Or that they would get attacked by a pack of rabid chimpanzees.
Maybe god will show mercy on the rest of us and make them both sterile with modern medical science unable to help them reproduce.
60. delic8 - July 1, 2008 3:26 PM
asscockian? like hitchcockian?
quick, someone convince spencer that he'd become more famous if he legally changed his name to "asscock." he'd totally go for it.
61. Stoopeedo - July 1, 2008 3:47 PM
I can just see them getting home and getting undressed... Heidi pulls off the tape and let's her wang out, and Spence takes the roll of dimes out of his tighty-whities to let his vagina air...
Then he breaks down in his squeaky pre-op voice: "I just can't keep this up..." *tear* To which Heidi replies with a firm smack and "Get me a beer woman... There's gonna be some sexing tonight..." Then Heidi sniffs the skid marks as Spence weeps off into the kitchen...
Or maybe that's just me...
62. jo - July 1, 2008 3:48 PM
They're so freaking scary! I thought it was a wax statue of the two morons.
Life in plastic is fantastic!
63. Spencer knows his sheeple - July 1, 2008 4:00 PM
It sounds to me like Spencer knows his sheeple:
“All right, then here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you’re gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right? You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that shit, bro. You’ll be, like, a fucking hero to America."
I'll drop the "fucking hero to America" part, but the rest of it sounds about like something that would make someone famous.
The Orca Winfrey watching Obongo voting sheeple would just eat that shit up. Pratt is dead on target; the man knows his dumb mindless stupid sheepshit for brains white sheeple for sure.
64. why KC - July 1, 2008 4:33 PM
Why is he picking on cutie Kevin Connolly? What did he ever do to this phoney?
65. why KC - July 1, 2008 4:33 PM
Why is he picking on cutie Kevin Connolly? What did he ever do to this phoney?
66. why KC - July 1, 2008 4:33 PM
Why is he picking on cutie Kevin Connolly? What did he ever do to this phoney?
67. why KC - July 1, 2008 4:33 PM
Why is he picking on cutie Kevin Connolly? What did he ever do to this phoney?
68. why KC - July 1, 2008 4:33 PM
Why is he picking on cutie Kevin Connolly? What did he ever do to this phoney?
69. why KC - July 1, 2008 4:33 PM
Why is he picking on cutie Kevin Connolly? What did he ever do to this phoney?
70. why KC - July 1, 2008 4:33 PM
Why is he picking on cutie Kevin Connolly? What did he ever do to this phoney?
71. why KC - July 1, 2008 4:33 PM
Why is he picking on cutie Kevin Connolly? What did he ever do to this phoney?
72. why KC - July 1, 2008 4:33 PM
Why is he picking on cutie Kevin Connolly? What did he ever do to this phoney?
73. bah - July 1, 2008 4:44 PM
who?
74. pleaseonlypostonce - July 1, 2008 4:48 PM
Jeezus, KC we hear you the first fucking time!!!!
75. KK - July 1, 2008 4:54 PM
Funny how his name is Pratt. The British word for complete effing moron:
prat 128 up, 29 down
a self-aggrandizing, pompous fuck. Someone who is full of themselves and, almost invariably, stupid as well. With a hint of 'deluded.'
"I'm getting really tired of listening to Vince brag about his conquests. What a prat." (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=prat)
76. KK - July 1, 2008 4:54 PM
Funny how his name is Pratt. The British word for complete effing moron:
prat (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=prat)
a self-aggrandizing, pompous fuck. Someone who is full of themselves and, almost invariably, stupid as well. With a hint of 'deluded.'
"I'm getting really tired of listening to Vince brag about his conquests. What a prat."
77. KK - July 1, 2008 4:54 PM
Funny how his name is Pratt. The British word for complete effing moron:
prat (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=prat)
a self-aggrandizing, pompous fuck. Someone who is full of themselves and, almost invariably, stupid as well. With a hint of 'deluded.'
"I'm getting really tired of listening to Vince brag about his conquests. What a prat."
78. terry6v - July 1, 2008 5:29 PM
You know, I don't ever even hear these two morons' names outside of these gossip websites, so I don't know why they think they're that famous..
79. Your Fat Mom - July 1, 2008 5:57 PM
With a slightly less prominent chin, Heidi could be very pretty.
With his head blown off by a shotgun, Spencer could be very pretty, too.
80. Jamie's Uterus - July 1, 2008 6:05 PM
I hope he pees on Heidi in the sex tape they make. Right on her face.
81. groonk - July 1, 2008 6:07 PM
your letter. i may print it out. bronze it and hang it on my wall.
82. charm - July 1, 2008 6:22 PM
#79
Funniest comment goes to you!
(I'm not being sarcastic, sometimes it's hard to tell here...)
83. Erin - July 1, 2008 7:16 PM
I'd say a bucket of "gonnorherpasyphilaids" would do better.
Or just Ebola. Any kind of hemorrhagic fever is a terrible week long, bleeding out every orifice, way to die.
Don't worry folks, what's comes around, goes around. They'll get what they deserve eventually. It's just sad they keep on going, even when Heidi says she cries when she hears what the media has to say about her.
84. Debutante - July 1, 2008 8:06 PM
This tool looks as queer as a 3 dollar bill !! Jesus Christ, what's wrong with this girl? She might be a tool, but as least she's cute.
85. phoebe - July 2, 2008 12:57 AM
this guy is a fucking douchebag!!!
please, make him go awayy!
ummm he says it takes nothing to become famous in hollywood? well duh look at yourself!!
86. coffeebean - July 2, 2008 3:01 AM
I am Spencer Pratt, the biggest douchebag of them all.
87. juan - July 2, 2008 3:37 AM
Nice reference to Oasis saying the Blur guys should "get AIDS and die." A rare groundbreaking moment for them.
88. Erin - July 2, 2008 3:43 AM
people like this are why Al-Qaida hate America
89. Morgenster - July 2, 2008 5:05 AM
I don't know who this guy is since we don't have all that MTV reality TV here, but from wat I'm reading and seeing in pictures this guy looks like a total retard. Just look at the mono-brow and eyes-too-close-to-eachother trademarks. The girl's not so bad. I'd hit that, but I suppose she's not all that bright either.
So yeah, bucket of AIDS. Good idea.
90. Sunday - July 2, 2008 7:34 AM
How sweet they are.Someone saw her profile with sexy photos on RICHLOVING.COM hot hook-up club for millionaires and celebrities. It seems the profile looks sincere and attractive. Is it real!? Lots of beautiful girls and lady are said to be there.
91. God Almighty - July 2, 2008 9:21 AM
Well, since I am a Southerner (not like the total Douchebaggery you Northerners do), I would consider Stump Breakin' him, and Donkey Punchin' her.
But only if the money is good. ONLY if the money is good.
Being stupid AND talking is ironic, he damn sure isn't doing anything LESS retarded than the people busting off comments here (Oh......ironic!) but then again:
He is a fucktard, unfortunately, he isn't smart enough to figure that out.
Like most fucking idiots in my world. -God
92. meeatu - July 2, 2008 9:48 AM
this guy face creep me out
its like that doll form dead silence
93. Voracious - July 2, 2008 12:35 PM
FOr a young guy, he's got such a mean nasty old creepy racist bigoted elitist vibe to him. That face, those eyes, that smile...just give off this VILENESS.
94. gerard Vandenberg - July 2, 2008 12:51 PM
HALLELUJA, the two BONZO'S are ALIVE and CHEATING!!
95. JJ - July 2, 2008 1:22 PM
@75,76,77...
one more time - for emphasis?
96. Canadian - July 2, 2008 5:49 PM
these two need to go away.....he looks like serial killer Paul Bernardo....look it up
97. meee - July 7, 2008 5:31 PM
i don't get it. how are his eyes THAT close together? his face freaks me out, man.
98. Modwild - July 7, 2008 10:54 PM
OMG - he looks like a gay televangelist in training.