Jul 16 2008Paris Hilton's breast: What's happening here?
Let me a take a stab at what's going on here: Paris Hilton's magical bra, which in defiance of God's Will makes her appear to have cleavage, is running low on unicorn tears. That, or her breasts are made of slowly melting ice cream. The flavor? Ben & Jerry's New "V.D. Cone Home." Look for it in your grocer's freezer.
EDIT: Apparently, with the boob droopage in full effect, Paris tried to hook up with recently single soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo only to be shot down, according to the Daily Mail. Benji Madden would be pissed except he realizes he's Benji Madden and is just happy to touch a vagina.
Thanks to Tom for the tip on Paris' crash and burn. I love a good heartwarming tale.
Photos: Pacific Coast News
Reader Comments
1. doug - July 16, 2008 5:01 PM
first
2. ah ha! - July 16, 2008 5:02 PM
definitely a push up bra!! FRIST!
3. ah ha! - July 16, 2008 5:02 PM
doug, you suck.
4. AllieCat - July 16, 2008 5:05 PM
as much as i hate her, she loos pretty good here. look, not even any panty flashin gcoming out of the car, a step up for her
5. AllieCat - July 16, 2008 5:05 PM
as much as i hate her, she loos pretty good here. look, not even any panty flashin coming out of the car, a step up for her
6. Alice - July 16, 2008 5:09 PM
Benji touches a vagina whenever he masturbates.
7. Lamby - July 16, 2008 5:09 PM
As long as she's not flashin cooter, I'm a-ok with a little wonkie-boob. (p.s. - shitty push up bra.)
8. Trixie - July 16, 2008 5:10 PM
I think it's kind of obvious that she's wearing a push-up bra that is too small for her.
9. dr nick rivera - July 16, 2008 5:11 PM
that is what we in the doctoring business call wrongly sized bra syndrome.
10. Randal - July 16, 2008 5:11 PM
Must ... not ... be ... mean.
Randal
11. rough daddy - July 16, 2008 5:14 PM
hook up? what happen to bengi? cristiano probably saw dude plam imprints on those newly pushup bra
12. Sportsdvl - July 16, 2008 5:15 PM
Paris is looking pretty good, if you can forget all the STD's and the fact she's had a lesbian affair with Benji Madden.
Oh, #1 & 2 - you both really need a life.
13. Jalone - July 16, 2008 5:21 PM
Big time push ups there. Anyone else notice that she has stopped smiling since she started dating Benny? I guess it's all part of that dark Goth couture.
14. memyselfandI - July 16, 2008 5:23 PM
No wonder Paris looks so sad. Her right boob clearly has Conjoined Twin Myslexia.
15. kenny - July 16, 2008 5:24 PM
oh god Paris is so fine. would bang her even wihout a rubber. would eat her muffin for hours.
16. nipolian - July 16, 2008 5:35 PM
The stench coming from that Petri Dish between her legs has gotten so foul that even Paris can’t stand it…………so she had someone train her how to step out of a car without spreading her legs wide open.
17. jon - July 16, 2008 5:40 PM
pic # 5, what no pussy shot getting out of the car? come on spread those legs for us. show us your shaved poon. stick a finger in and moan like the skank that you are Paris.
18. jake - July 16, 2008 5:43 PM
I know what it is. She is over-medicated, took an extra dose of anti-depressant/anti-psychotics.
19. hi - July 16, 2008 5:56 PM
her lips... the color and the way she holds them... makes them look like a booty hole.
20. Starbucks - July 16, 2008 6:30 PM
Paris looks gorgeous! Love the hair and dress.
21. Caitlin - July 16, 2008 6:47 PM
I dunno. This is probably the best Paris has ever looked and will ever look in her life.
22. babyface - July 16, 2008 7:17 PM
Oh, so hot lady! It was said she just enjoyed hot dating with a black guy on **mixedloving . c o m** so many fans show interesting to her hot photos and videos there. Nice to enjoy more details about it...
23. babyface - July 16, 2008 7:17 PM
Oh, so hot lady! It was said she just enjoyed hot dating with a black guy on **mixedloving . c o m** so many fans show interesting to her hot photos and videos there. Nice to enjoy more details about it...
24. babyface - July 16, 2008 7:17 PM
Oh, so hot lady! It was said she just enjoyed hot dating with a black guy on **mixedloving . c o m** so many fans show interesting to her hot photos and videos there. Nice to enjoy more details about it...
25. wanks - July 16, 2008 7:19 PM
these pics totally just blew my penis's mind (yes, my brain is located in my penis).....this is definitely the best that i have ever seen her look.
26. babynuggaface - July 16, 2008 7:27 PM
Oh, so hot, the semen in my mouth that is! It was said I just enjoyed swallowing all of the back street boys and getting ass fucked for plugging a faggot shit web site on **felchingfaggots . c o m** so many fans show interest in fellatio on my face bukake style. Nice to enjoy more details about it...
EAT A DICK SPAMMER!
P.S. I'd bang Paris, and I don't care what you all say.
27. britney's weave - July 16, 2008 8:15 PM
collagen, anyone?
28. Drew - July 16, 2008 8:28 PM
She's starting to look old and like a tranny with that angled square jaw and long nose. She should get a penis implant. It would be more appropriate for this man woman
29. Princess - July 16, 2008 9:22 PM
it is obvious that she is wearing an insert. those gel packs that look like chicken cutlets a woman puts in her bra to push up what she has while filling in the displacement this causes to effectively make it look as though she is a full cup-size larger. she went from an A yesterday to a B today. the odd shape is the insert being poorly placed, or the top being too tight, or the bra having too much of its own padding. Whatever, we all know she has no titties, this is just a sad attempt on her part, like we cant remember what she looks like any other time she goes out
30. momi amtesh - July 16, 2008 9:41 PM
the lady she has the beautiful breast
i am love the lady with the she has the beautiful breast,
my hope that she am marry me one day
31. Richard McBeef - July 16, 2008 9:44 PM
finallly a new fish writer. the old one sucked.
32. pukinginmyskinthesewoundswillneverheallol - July 16, 2008 10:05 PM
looks like she drooled all over herself...eeeezzzy on the lipgloss ladies, it ain't sexi
33. HankTheDwarf - July 16, 2008 10:05 PM
Nice try trying to hide the lazy eye behind her bangs.
LAZY EYED HERPES WHORE.
LAZY EYED HERPES WHORE.
LAZY EYED HERPES WHORE.
LAZY EYED HERPES WHORE.
LAZY EYED HERPES WHORE.
LAZY EYED HERPES WHORE.
LAZY EYED HERPES WHORE.
34. kay - July 16, 2008 10:31 PM
Well duh, Paris has small boobs and the only reason why they look big is because she wears a push up bra and probably VS water bra
35. Lindalou - July 16, 2008 10:50 PM
The only fat on her body is being pushed up and padded with that wonky bra. Other pictures taken at the same time show how anorexic she looks. Love the dress and the color, hair and make up looks good, she looks like flesh and bones.
36. kr00pa - July 16, 2008 10:59 PM
Say what you will...she looks fuckin incredible!
37. Ted from LA - July 16, 2008 11:39 PM
#10...
Classic.
38. the devil - July 17, 2008 12:45 AM
6. Alice - July 16, 2008 5:09 PM:
that was fucking BRILLIANT !!!!
i almost fell off my chair !
39. rae. - July 17, 2008 1:09 AM
i know what this is. she has one of those chicken cutlet thingies in there, and its crooked.
40. Samma - July 17, 2008 2:01 AM
wtf is with the fucking dinosaur pose in the 1st picture? is it just me or does her arm look like its twisted all the way around?
41. kenny - July 17, 2008 2:27 AM
# 40,Samma. no it's just you chuckle-nuts.
42. Kim Lardassian - July 17, 2008 3:19 AM
You can actually see very sizeable chicken fillets which are pushing up her real breasts in to the cleavage. I hate her but good on her for not getting implants I say.
43. Sendy - July 17, 2008 4:45 AM
Paris is a cute babe...She was said to have a personal account with her hot pictures and blogs on the wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M for hot guys and girls to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating. Quite a few fans and hot guys are found in her circle there.
44. fkitty - July 17, 2008 5:31 AM
so sexy
45. HQ Celebrity - July 17, 2008 7:44 AM
Hm, they seem bigger now. No doubt, she is looking great!
46. gerard Vandenberg - July 17, 2008 7:51 AM
YEP folks, the ANUS-look is back on her face!!
47. Flo-Max - July 17, 2008 8:06 AM
It's a real shame when good boobs go bad.....
48. CRUZATES - July 17, 2008 8:10 AM
CRISTIANO RONALDO REJECTED PARIS HILTON!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHHA SERVES HER JUST RIGHT!
49. Dani - July 17, 2008 9:05 AM
While I do definitely think that Cristiano Ronaldo is the hottest futbol player out there (David Beckham looks like my cat's shaved ass compared to him). I remember seeing an episode of some rich celebrity homes special with him on MTV or VH1 of E... one of those trashy celebrity networks... Anyways, after seeing him in his own element, I came away from that TV program deeply disappointed. Why? Because I am convinced that he is gay. Maybe that is why it was so easy for him to ignore the advances of trashy barbie and her new set of tatas.
50. Ana Rita Frazão de Sousa - July 17, 2008 9:14 AM
I LOVE HER OUTFIT!
it's not the first time that Paris appears with bigger boobs, and next they turn smaller. A push up bra it's like a miracle-maker!
51. Anna - July 17, 2008 9:18 AM
the important bit of news here is that Cristiano Ronaldo is single. And to #49, it's no secret that he bats (kicks and scores) for both teams.
52. simplicity - July 17, 2008 9:44 AM
I still dont understand why this chick is famous..
So what if her Dad owns a hotel chain.
Anyone know what the Wendy's Restaurant chick looks like?
Paris Hilton = pathetic, wanna-be, anorexic looking, fake-as-all-hell poser...
and worse yet are the people that chase her down to take her picture.
...or those that post her on their websites.
ugh.. or those that comment about her..
53. A - July 17, 2008 9:57 AM
I agree with your guys that this is maybe the best she has ever looked, although I still think she looks like shit. Her boobs look way gross. It is definitely a push-up and almost out bra. She looks bony and nasty as usual, with protruding bones. Yuck! And she still has diseases I am sure.
54. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - July 17, 2008 10:06 AM
I was gonna say she looks pretty fucking good here, but that was covered umpteen times already. I guess the old "even a blind squirrel can find a nut" mantra works here...
55. Andy - July 17, 2008 10:23 AM
She's trying to do an Amy Winehouse, all twisted up pose. Since Amy's been getting a lot of press and Paris has been on the decline, she probably thought posing like Amy would get her some publicity.
56. jc - July 17, 2008 11:27 AM
She used chicken breast fillets to fill up her bosom's appearance
57. Melissa - July 17, 2008 12:49 PM
What? No Hot Topic-esque skull and crossbones? At least she did something right with this look... that necklace is gorgeous. She even matched the wonky eye to the wonky boobs this time!
58. ann - July 17, 2008 1:22 PM
She's still nothing but a piece of used up trash!!!
59. Seth - July 17, 2008 3:55 PM
I'd do her just as long as I could sell the video - I need to pay off student loans.
60. leng - July 17, 2008 8:36 PM
I really hate these people talking about the celebrities or rich men joined the famous sugar daddy and sugar baby service ★★★www.S u g a r d a d d y C o n n e c t. c o m★★★. Could you people please have a break??
61. gina - July 17, 2008 11:02 PM
actually, she got breast implants a while ago. http://www.makemeheal.com/news/images/paris-hilton-breast-implants-bathing-suit.jpg
62. gina - July 17, 2008 11:03 PM
actually, she got breast implants a while ago. http://www.makemeheal.com/news/images/paris-hilton-breast-implants-bathing-suit.jpg
63. Phreaked - July 18, 2008 1:23 AM
www.phreaked.wordpress.com
I was actually reading up on the yesterday! I was in the process of applying for a celeb writing site and wrote this sample only to have the damn craigslist e-mail not work anymore. Hope you don't mind if I post, figured might as well not go to waste:
Title:Ooooooh, barracuda!!!
Sinking to, well, her usual low, Paris Hilton attempted to give a lap dance to a cripple: injured soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo. Thank God it wasn't one of the homeless guys she's been taking home lately (insert skeevy photo of Benji Madden here).
Paris Hilton, ladies and gentleman, humanitarian.
Feeling frisky on Tuesday night at Villa, Hilton downed her 60th shot and headed over to slur sweet nothings in Ronaldo's ear.
"Paris was all over him. The moment he arrived, she went over to his private table. At one point, she pushed her chest together and made a point of trying to snuggle up against him," a socialitelife.com source is blabbing.
First off, it's a private table for a reason. It's meant to keep riffraff at bay. That would be you, Sluterella. Secondly, WHAT chest?!
Ronaldo, to his credit, showed that just because he is temporarily handicapped doesn't mean he has the same mental deficiencies as Hilton's past lovers/coochie crusaders.
I can just hear the begging: "C'mon Cris, I'll let you bring your crutches to bed, I'm sure we can think of something to do with them." (insert money shot of Paris' ass here)
It would be a change-up for Hilton considering I'm sure she's the one used to just laying there like a blow up doll. But who better than a man who can't run to try out that 'new' reverse-missionary style she read up on in Cosmo??
Ew.
64. ah ha ha! - July 19, 2008 1:28 AM
you put in your push-up pads upside down you fn dummy!
65. maria - July 20, 2008 2:04 AM
everyone has already seen her boobs so why would she try and trick everyone now?
66. maria - July 20, 2008 2:04 AM
everyone has already seen her boobs so why would she try and trick everyone now?
67. maria - July 20, 2008 2:04 AM
everyone has already seen her boobs so why would she try and trick everyone now?
68. IWONKY - July 27, 2008 6:17 PM
That is one sad looking wonky-eyed bitch.