Jul 17 2008Jessica Alba's daughter looks exactly like a newborn baby (Holy CRAP!)

Balls.

wow. seriously? what's the point?

What a crock of shit! Unless she was knocked unconscious she yelled during the birth. Of course, knowing she's never gotten a job based on her acting ability maybe her cooch is big the kid just fell out.

Who the Hell buys these shit rag magazines anyways? It is you idiots that buy them that causes them to pay $1million for pics of the damn little kid.

ExAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAActly.

ExAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAActly.

ExAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAActly.

fish - that write up was HIALRIOUS! best i've read in some time! good work!

I like the name "Honor" for a girl.........In about 15-16 years she will be known as "Get Honor and Stay Honor."

Well, I for one believe it!

Not all women are the same. Some find giving birth an enjoyable experience, with little to no pain while others have certainly reasons to complain about it.

Jessica was simply very focused and Yoga will help not only the mind but also the body. Her level of concentration goes far deeper than you and I could ever know. It's what has made her a star.

Congratulations on having a beautiful child Jessica.

Randal

Brown

Alba looks like one of those girls who model quinceanera dresses.

After reading Randal's post does anyone else imagine him in a basement somewhere with some poor chick trapped in a deep hole while he stands above her saying, "It rubs the lotion on its skin, or it get the hose again" just like in "Silence of the Lambs"?

Holy shit, OK magazine is 50¢ cheaper than People!

Randal is pretty funny sometimes.

By the way, who would name thier kid Honor? Strike two (strike one is being born to an actress) for that poor kid. Next, get them into show biz and they are screwed for life.

And Jessica Alba is 50 cents cheaper than Jessica Simpson....

@ 11, hahahaha that was spot on.

who cares....

The only question people care about is: will her daughter have an even better ass than her mom? So hold off on buying that OK! magazine issue for another 18 years. Fine, who am I kidding...13-14 years.

I love your truth spin on the situation. Quiet my ---! Another myth born. So glad I'm done having children. :)

"worth her weight in delicious sandwich" - well done

I actually don't mind the name "Honor." I usually hate it when people name their kids after concepts. If more people chose names that reflected how the kid was actually conceived, there'd be a lot of little kids named "Mistake" or "Regret" or "One Night Stand" running around.

And I agree, sometimes Randal is fucking hilarious. Like in his latest comment. "Her level of concentration goes far deeper than you and I could ever know. It's what has made her a star."

Ha, ha! Good one, Randal!

Only pathetic women who are drug addicts scream and beg for drugs during childbirth. Natural is the best. I could never respect a woman who screamed while birthing a child. Weaklings.

Eh, giving birth is no big deal.

How hard could it be?

.

So does natural birth mean no drugs?

Why is it that all the celeb babies all seem to pop out at once? What exactly is happening to the hormones around October?

"Oh look, the leaves are changing. Time to get knocked up!"

With both kids, I did yoga breathing until the drugs kicked in.

i had no idea alba was a scientologist.

oh, and since when is being a mom miraculous? doesn't that shit happen every fucking day, like a thousand times?

There is no way she didn't make a sound... you don't have to be screaming to say "Holy Fucking Mother of God." Which is exactly what every woman says while squeezing 7-10 pounds of flesh out of her body.

JennyW (#22) shut your mouth. just because you've whored around and got knocked up and now your vaginas all stretched out to the size of a watermelon, you can say that stupid shit. When I'm preggy, they're gonna drug me up so I can actually ENJOY myself.

This stuck-up crack should move back to Mexico where she belongs. And take her ugly little brat with her. What an ugly baby....

She kind of looks like that Natalie from girlicious in this picture

You what a Hollyweird celeb who did NOT have an elective caesarian 5 weeks early to save her body? I can't believe it, those selfish superficial bitches ALL have elective early caesarians. Is Alba not a narcissitic cunt like Jolie and the rest??

You what a Hollyweird celeb who did NOT have an elective caesarian 5 weeks early to save her body? I can't believe it, those selfish superficial bitches ALL have elective early caesarians. Is Alba not a narcissitic cunt like Jolie and the rest??

Who gives a shit? Fuck that stupid bitch and her baby. I'd be delighted to never hear another word about Jessica Alba until something horrible happens to her.

People are so brainwashed these days! it's not only possible, but absolutely normal to give birth without screaming. I did it, a lot of my friends and clients did it, the natural way with no meds and no unnecessary interventions. If you don't mess with the natural process, relax and trust your body, you will have an amazing experience.
And don't get me started on elective c-sections. They just should not be an option because they severely hurt the baby in physical, developmental and emotional ways. The only time a woman should get cut open is when her life or her baby's life is in peril. Cutting out your baby when it hasn't finished developing just so you can have a nice body is selfish, cruel and disgusting.

whoever mistakenly believes that women cannot give birth naturally without yelling or screaming has watched too many hollywood movies where the lady giving birth is panting like an idiot and screaming like a jackass.

I agreed with #9, 35. I didn't scream or yell at all and come on to not scream while you are giving birth that doesn't mean you are different from others.

Gah! It really chaps my ass when celebrities have to be so freaking perfect. I gave birth without screaming the first time. You see, I had this nifty epidural. I've also done childbirth without drugs, and you can bet your ass I screamed my fool head off. That shit hurt!

Title of the article on the cover: "Brad and Angelina's Beautiful Twins"

Takes me a full 15 seconds to realize they're not talking about her chest.

Or are they?

Hmmm.....

Her hole must have been so huge and loose...

excellent when boiled with cabbage.

hohoho,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,beautiful woman!!!!!!!!!!!!But I saw her profile on the celebrities/rich men seeking affairs site ★★★http://www.S u g a r d a d d y C o n n e c t. c o m★★★ last week.......... It said she is interested in seeking a rich man for sugar daddy on that site! what a fool woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yoga, uh? I'm sure all that pain, the blood, the people looking at her vagina and that screaming creature getting out of her was pretty zen. Me, I f i ever gave birth, i want to be punched in the head by a gorilla until it let me ko. You know, just in case drugs didn't work.

So, all I can think is that this kid has GOT to get a nickname eventually. I don't mean by the media, I mean by its family. So what do they call it? Honor... Honie... HONEY?! Yes, 'Honey', how ironic would that be?

"Here's to honor! To getting honor, keeping honor, and not getting off her 'til you get off honor. If you can't come in her, come on her! Here's to honor!"

These people need to watch TLC's "A baby story" and then they'll see what really happends during a natural birth, I still cannot believe womens bodies dont spontaneously combust from the pain...... I say drugs, drugs, drugs....

PRETENTIOUS BITCHFACE. FUCK OFF.

Jesus, she just said she didn't scream; she didn't say it felt good. Believe it or not there are a few noble ladies who actually don't scream. A lot of white women feel the need to tear their lung chords while giving birth. Just shut up for 15 seconds as we try not to vomit at the site of a human coming out of your dilated vagina!!

#45 - LOL. Brilliant.

Honor is such a stupid pretentious name. If i ever met anyone named Honor i'd probably punch that person in the face out of spite for having such a ridiculous name.
Names like 'hope' and 'faith' and 'charity' - for fucks sake people are going to be naming their kids 'awesome' and 'pretty' and 'intelligent' if this madness doesn't stop. Eh, who cares.

i agree with u dont know why these people just make news like something unbelieveable happened. She gave birth and thats natural so they make anews like its......anyway the baby is really cute :)

Her "natural birth?" So she gave birth vaginally, KNOWING she has the HERP??! What a SELFISH coont. I will never. EVER. Watch another movie with her in it.

Why not just name the kid "beat me up at recess" and be done with it.

Alba:
Oh my, I just had this tingling sensation! Oh! I have some sweat on my brow, will you pat it for me honey? Oh my! I need to toot! Oh wait. That's the baby coming. ALL done. Whew. Can I have a beer now?

*stands and gives standing ovation to the biggest twat ever*

Kiss my ass Alba. Too bad the mother is a fuck wad. Baby is adorable though.

.. and Randall you are an idiot. But you amuse me much.

Naming your kid "Honor" is a sure shot way of giving them a one way ticket to Stripperpoleville.

Natural childbirth and no screaming? I find that hard to believe. What the fuck does that prove?

#55

That her vagina is huge and loose.

I believe it! I have been there. I will tell you, for 14 hours, I was concentrating on only one thing, and didn't make a sound. There was more yelling and excitement from the hospital staff then there was from me. (My son was coming quicker than they thought he would). As for the "vagina is huge and loose" comment, I can say that mine was neither! LOL! I did have one dimeral (sp?) shot 2 hours before he was born, but that was it! I could feel every bit, but like one other person said....every woman and birth is different. If you concentrate and breathe....it really helps!

@49 Ever seen Idiocracy?

I agree with all the natural childbirth heads. Women who take the drugs are fucking pathetic cowards. Why don't you just hire a surrogate mother, for fuck's sake? These are the same women who bitch endlessly, "Oh it's so hard being pregnant. Worship me, treat me as though I'm doing something special that fucking monkeys don't do every fucking day (without any drugs). I'd like to see a man have a baby, blah, blah." What is it, the hormones? Demanding all this respect and consideration, "You'll never know what it's like," and then copping out with fucking drugs?!?! Give me a break. You want me to respect you and the 'torture' you have to endure to bear my child? No problem - just shut the fuck up and take it like a man.

This kid could grow up to cure cancer, win a nobel prize and shit gold nuggets and I still wouldn't give a fuck.

may I have your attention:
Celebrity-FAKER-america destroyer NUMERO UNO is present with her ugly kid: FUCK YOU BOTH!!

wow. vile.

"take it like a man"? how would a man take childbirth, exactly? just like your mom? - pop Douche Jr. out of his big mangina that got properly stretched after years of crosstraining with cheap hookers? how about we have someone kick you in the junk a dozen or so times, then cut up your crotch, and then dangle some drugs in front of you. you gonna take it like a man and say no to the drugs?

so, i see you've clearly talked to some "fucking monkey" moms, and they told you that if they had to stretch as much as a woman does to birth a baby, that they wouldn't take the drugs. damn, and here i was thinking human moms could live up to your idiot conception of the rest of the natural world. and now i'm so disappointed.

when your sperm makes it somewhere other than your pants and some poor woman allows you to bring the world down a notch by releasing one of your offspring, and you watch a full size newborn sexist douchebag come out of what used to be a really small fucking hole, THEN we'll crown you fucking childbirth expert.

better yet, how about you shit a baby? think that'll feel pretty good? what do YOU do that makes you deserve any respect?

@61

Boo-fucking-hoo. It's no surprise to have you come back, being that you're fucking exactly who I'm talking about. You think the (remote) possibility that it would shut you up wouldn't be incentive enough for me to shit out a fucking luxury sedan without making a peep or taking any drugs?

It's very telling that you are so easily provoked on this issue. I thought childbirth was supposed to be beautiful - your gender's claim to fame and worth. Well? Is it or not? What, you get to pick and choose which aspects of the process define the experience? And even beyond that, YOU get to tell ME what is and is not an acceptable perspective on the whole thing? Who the fuck are you? You're just another mewling, terrified double-standard bearer who can't cash the cheques her twat writes out.

I suspect you ARE right about one thing, though - my mother was probably so full of drugs when she dropped me out that she didn't know which way was up. She's just as full of shit as you are.

@62

yeah? a sedan? let's see it and i will shut up. go on and keep talking like you'd shit a car to silence my opinion, 'cos it seriously helps your case that i'm somehow trying to silence yours.

who got on this blog and started yowling about how women should shut up about the pain of childbirth? i don't care what you think about it - whether it's painful or beautiful, just don't (as a dude, no less) tell women whose opinion it is that it freaking hurts to "shut the fuck up and take it like a man."

hahaha... take childbirth "like a man" ... awesome.

What an UGLY baby.

pushing a squirmy octopus out of your vageeg w/out making a grunt? bullshit!

hey Uncle Eccoli, i bet you had some nice priest action up yours not so long ago- so that is why you are loose huh? mmm i smell an altar boy.

Uncle Eccoli, two words for you
pink sock
bet you had your fair share

Thats a fucking ugly baby, looks like a little man. And why did OK Magazine have to spike up its are to look hip?

Thats a fucking ugly baby, looks like a little man. And why did OK Magazine have to spike up its HAIR to look hip?

@63 That didn't even make any sense. I didn't say anything about the pain of childbirth - I said women who take drugs during childbirth are fucking pathetic cowards. Of course it hurts, that's your lot. What pisses me off is women who expect to have some fucking badge of courage pinned to their chests after having fucking cheated by taking drugs.

Let me put it very simply for you - Being a woman does not make you special. Having a baby does not make you special. Not the least little bit. Not at all.

@66 I was not an altar boy, actually. I'm not even Christian.

@67 I haven't the faintest idea what that means.

Why'd you use all those different names?

It's not that hard to believe she didn't scream. Not everyone has the crazy insane labors like they show on TV. I had my son last September naturally and without an epidural and I never screamed or cried. My contractions weren't that bad at all and he was born 4 hours after they started. Some of us get lucky lol. And the whole "wow I bet her cooter is loose as shit" comments whenever someone has a baby are sooo not even true. Everyone I know, including me, have actually ended up tighter :P

The baby is cute though....

Jesus I wonder what kind of shit experiences Uncle Eccoli has had to make him so bitter! I was induced two months ago, I am allergic to most pain killers and so had a 12 hour labour with no pain relief.
I am delighted with my baby and some aspects of labour are pleasant and interesting but mostly it was horiffic, I think after the fourth hour I couldn't not roar through the contractions, all I remember is coming out with OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! and then apolagising for the noise as each contraction subsided. I don't ever remember thinking it was my claim to fame or worth though???? It ended up being a c-section and it was indeed pretty revolting watching a teenie screaming human being surgicaly removed from my abdomen.
Some women screamed in the labour ward, some women didn't, I was walking the corridors doing yoga breathing until about 5 minutes before the doctor decided to section so I think all that shite about if you concentrate it'll go easier is a load of wank, none of us are doctors, who the fuck knows why it's hard for some and easy for others..... why are you even debating this I'm going outside

@ 71: Eww. So did not have to know that.

this miserable bitch isn't even talented enough to look happy in a picture with her own kid

WOW! I don't know why you so angry for her. How do you think must looking a baby in 1 month after birth ? I believe that when Honor Marie will grow up, she is will be beautiful like her mother.

I had a natural first childbirth that was pretty idyllic, and I'm not a celebrity *or* have a loose vag. I've been with a lot of girls, and I've felt maybe one that was tighter. And she was a freak... not that I minded.

So long as the baby doesn't have some huge martian head or come out sideways, you just need to concentrate on relaxing while also using your muscles... which is easier for me, at least, when I'm not screaming like mad. If all you're thinking about is how much it hurts, then I think you'd be more likely to be taking hours and screaming like a banshee.

I've actually given birth (just recently) and she is right (and all of u are assholes to assume otherwise) but I was in complete meditation and I didn't scream once while I was giving birth, its a mind over matter thing. So unless you had a baby popping outta your vagina, you can't say that she's lying cuz every woman is different and television exaggerates everything.

I've actually given birth (just recently) and she is right (and all of u are assholes to assume otherwise) but I was in complete meditation and I didn't scream once while I was giving birth, its a mind over matter thing. So unless you had a baby popping outta your vagina, you can't say that she's lying cuz every woman is different and television exaggerates everything.

I've actually given birth (just recently) and she is right (and all of u are assholes to assume otherwise) but I was in complete meditation and I didn't scream once while I was giving birth, its a mind over matter thing. So unless you had a baby popping outta your vagina, you can't say that she's lying cuz every woman is different and television exaggerates everything.