Jul 31 2008Jennifer Aniston: 'What is this? Nipple Day? I'm in.'
Suddenly, Jennifer Aniston's nipple sonar went off: Somebody was popping nips and their name wasn't Jennifer Aniston.
"I'll see about this," Jennifer said. She quickly turned to her assistant. "Ice me."
"But, miss-"
"I SAID, 'ICE ME!'"
Several cold seconds later, Jennifer Aniston's nipples were primed like rockets in a missile silo. She motioned for her driver to stop near a pack of paparazzi. Jessica Alba, Rihanna: a day of reckoning is upon thee.
Jennifer Aniston exited the vehicle and immediately began pointing at objects with almost laser-guided precision. Inside her head a maniacal, yet genius, monologue ensued:
"Is that a rock? Now it's a rock being pointed at by my nipples. What are you drinking? A latte? Now it's a latte being pointed at by my nipples. Say, is that a bird?"
And then it happened: Jennifer Aniston's assistant, clearly gone suicidal, attempted to block the nipples with her purse. Her body would later be found in a sand dune on a Mexican beach. The police deduced the culprit's identity by the two punctures wound in the back, but who would dare prosecute? Anyone worth their badge knew you didn't go after the nipples. Not in this town. Not in any town...
Reader Comments
1. Where's Darkwing Duck? - July 31, 2008 4:25 PM
I love you superfish
2. Hydra - July 31, 2008 4:27 PM
Nice looking body. I would hit it.
3. Randal - July 31, 2008 4:31 PM
Thanks for posting about Jennifer, for she's been out of the spotlight for awhile now and certainly needs to be in it more often, especially with her new movie on the horizon.
Jennifer, you've done a wonderful job with yourself since the end of the hit TV series Friends and I've loved every movie you've been in! Looking forward to the future.
xoxo
Randal
4. JM - July 31, 2008 4:32 PM
Wow, check out the ribs on that sucker. That's one hell of an offroad tire.
5. Eric - July 31, 2008 4:33 PM
See? There's no comparison between Ms. Aniston and that mudgirl earlier.
6. Deacon Jones - July 31, 2008 4:35 PM
Mmmmm...reminds me of the divorced MILF I bagged at Seacrets in Ocean City, Maryland two years ago.
I cant believe none of you fuckers have heard of that place, its fucking spectacular.
7. JimmyBachaFungool - July 31, 2008 4:36 PM
She is an evil C U Next Tuesday. I hate her.
8. Ted from LA - July 31, 2008 4:40 PM
Friends. The worst show in the history of TV. Her tits are looking fake. Inside job?
9. JWM - July 31, 2008 4:41 PM
Deacon Jones, I grew up in MD. Seacrets is the *bestest* place to catch STDs.
10. Dr. Otto Van DerWahl - July 31, 2008 4:42 PM
Suck.....suck hard......suck deep.....dry them out
11. former ocean city girl - July 31, 2008 4:42 PM
#6 yes I do agree with you about Seacrets.
12. cixo - July 31, 2008 4:42 PM
Amazing...I seemed to see she had a personal account on the wealthy dating club ***w e a l t h y l o v e s. c om*** for hot guys and girls to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating. Her blog was updated very often. Lots of guys joined in her friend circle there.
13. jay - July 31, 2008 4:43 PM
nice titties. would like to titty-fuck her and blast her face with my love juice. great pics.
14. Erica - July 31, 2008 4:44 PM
Ted. Ted Ted Ted. Tederino. Tedaramalama. The Tedinator. Teeeeeeeeed.
thirtysomething.
Before your time?
15. Ted from LA - July 31, 2008 4:45 PM
Jay,
If you're going to "blast her in the face", it's probably not "love" juices your squirting.
16. steve - July 31, 2008 4:46 PM
Looking good Jen. Pic 4 is delightful, a nice ass shot. Hike the skirt up and go for it!! Big fan !!
17. Ted from LA - July 31, 2008 4:48 PM
Erica, my love, I was probably 30something while 30something was on TV.
18. silent bob - July 31, 2008 4:49 PM
blast her in the face with love juice, sniper her eyes with warm salty hate, same diff.
19. Snarf - July 31, 2008 4:55 PM
Lol, very funny!
Ice me!
20. rough daddy - July 31, 2008 4:59 PM
those tities are screaming look at me!! please,,,
21. Barak Obama - July 31, 2008 5:00 PM
#4, nice observation! LOL
22. adeliza - July 31, 2008 5:01 PM
Ted-
You have obviously never seen "Momma's Family" or "Golden Girls".
Unfortunately I have, thanks to my Grandparents, God rest their souls.
OH! And don't get me started on "Punky Brewster".
23. Deacon Jones - July 31, 2008 5:07 PM
@11
Sweet, someone!
Drink's this Saturday night?
24. Gits - July 31, 2008 5:18 PM
Friends is the the worst show in TV history if you do your rankings based on completely undeserved praise and high ratings. Shows like Momma's Family and Golden Girls satisfy niche audiences, specifically the type of people we try to stay away from in real life. Friends was the unfunny and excruciatingly fake-emotional show that everybody loved, just like the girl with the nice tits who everybody wants to fuck even though, if they took a moment, they'd see she's an unsexy drama queen bitch. In other words, Jennifer Aniston.
25. ( )( ) - July 31, 2008 5:21 PM
Her as looks incredible in the 4th pic this woman is in amazing shape. Hate to bring up the stupid comparissons, but I bet Brad wished he could have this body and tan with Angies head. Now that would be a good woman and someone else's personality of course because I hear they are both fucking bitches.
26. Ahhhh haaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa - July 31, 2008 5:22 PM
G D dats some funny ass shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
27. One - July 31, 2008 5:26 PM
I gotta admit, the girl has a nice rack (and thats coming from a heterosexual woman). She's got a great body too; too bad she's pretty much a butterface. The only thing attractive on her head is her hair.
28. GrandpaMccain - July 31, 2008 5:27 PM
#12 GO F-yourself with that stupid site. After I pork and probe Jenn in that love crack of hers, i'm gonna wipe the dung off on the face of #12!!!
29. Joy - July 31, 2008 5:28 PM
This is so stupid. There is nothing odd or iced about her breast and/or nipples. Her hair, face shape, eyes, breast and the rest of her body are beautiful. I don't see the problem. It's not just 40 year olds who want her body. It is anyone from 10 to 100, so I think she is doing just fine. Props for her stand on childhood and adulthood disease, etc... She is amazing!!!!
30. Ted Mosby - July 31, 2008 5:32 PM
I love her nipples.
31. Pussy_Galore - July 31, 2008 6:17 PM
Word to #30. At least her nipples do not look like hot dogs as "darkies" do from a couple of posts back.
32. james - July 31, 2008 6:32 PM
wonder if she likes getting nipple twists
33. BigDaddy - July 31, 2008 6:33 PM
Geez, @31 give it a rest already, I hope you get raped by a "darkie"!!
34. kenny - July 31, 2008 6:37 PM
Jen can probably suck a mean cock. I was hoping for a pussy shot as she was getting out of the car.
35. adran - July 31, 2008 6:45 PM
I believe she's wearing an underwire to prop up her tits. Ha-haha!! Otherwise they'll be saggin big time.
36. big z - July 31, 2008 8:04 PM
she is my favorite. Someone told me she is datting a young billlionaire on -"""""NYwealthyMatch . c o m""". What kind of relationship she is looking for on that site? Long-term relationship or just a dating?
37. wanks - July 31, 2008 8:38 PM
fuck all of you that say she is an ugly jew....I WOULD FUCK THE SHIT OUTTA OF HER LITERALLY!!! SHE IS FUCKING INSANELY HOT!!!!!!!!!!!
38. Ted from LA - July 31, 2008 9:05 PM
Kenny,
My guess is you could not be further from the truth with your first prediction.
39. Harry Ballzack - July 31, 2008 9:38 PM
#4 - I don't know where YOU are from, but where I'm from, that is considered a freeway tread
and shame on you for even noticing a tire next to that rack
40. tess - July 31, 2008 9:51 PM
What a stupid statement, I need no ice cube's my nips always stick outward gosh do i love it. Jen looks real sexy nothing fake about her nipples. I can't even believe i commenting on this stupid crap whoever came up with this is stupid
41. Cindy - July 31, 2008 10:37 PM
She has a bra with built in nipples. She sure fooled you guys. Her and Mayer are good at that.
42. Cindy - July 31, 2008 10:37 PM
She has a bra with built in nipples. She sure fooled you guys. Her and Mayer are good at that.
43. Lea - July 31, 2008 10:39 PM
sugar mama is trying desperately to keep her young man.
44. current OC girl - July 31, 2008 11:33 PM
Shout out to all the Ocean City, MD. fans. I live about 30 mins from OC. Seacrets is awesome. So is Jennifer by the way.
45. Google Nemesis - July 31, 2008 11:35 PM
Now that's a peach!
46. rae. - July 31, 2008 11:46 PM
Randal <3's penis. :D
47. Weedhopper - August 1, 2008 12:51 AM
.
Aniston makes pokies boring.
Like putting a tank top on a milk cow.
.
48. wgn - August 1, 2008 12:55 AM
#34 - Actually she is quite lame in the sack. Hence more dumps than a Sumo wrestler on a peanut farm.
49. thesportsaffiliate.com - August 1, 2008 2:00 AM
WOW....can you say motor boat ?
50. Photographer - August 1, 2008 2:18 AM
These things are holding up okey for a 143123412 year old.
51. http://webescape.wordpress.com/ - August 1, 2008 5:25 AM
Tits are good (are they fake?) but she's still a butter face.
52. Glorp - August 1, 2008 5:48 AM
Glorp?
53. Glorp - August 1, 2008 5:51 AM
GLORP??
54. Glorp - August 1, 2008 5:54 AM
glorp...
55. OhYeah? - August 1, 2008 6:00 AM
@51
yer probly a deep-fryer oil face
56. (.)(.) - August 1, 2008 7:42 AM
Nipple-shmipple...I like the ass shot in pic 4.
57. Deacon Jones - August 1, 2008 8:38 AM
@44
I'll be at Seacrets saturday night. Wear a red top and white headband. I'll bring the rope
58. Ashley - August 1, 2008 9:08 AM
Omg this is one of the funniest post you have posted
59. Lola - August 1, 2008 9:50 AM
Her chest looks so damaged from the sun... She's still incredibly beautiful and I'll never understand why Brad would leave her for Angelina.... But she's starting to look her age now. Or maybe it's all that running around with John Mayer that got her looking a little weary and tired
60. joho777 - August 1, 2008 11:10 AM
I don't think those are nipples. Considering the condition of her skin, those are probably warts.
61. gerard Vandenberg - August 1, 2008 11:46 AM
Americans PRUDISH?
well................................................a little bit, yeah you're right!!
62. Kir - August 1, 2008 12:39 PM
Why do these famous celebs continue to wear see-through shirts or no bras??? she definitley needs to get some Nippies by Bristols 6.....get a fun print, or a skin tone style! Who cares?! She just needs to get them NOW!!!! Go to www.bristols6.com to see the styles!
63. Alex - August 1, 2008 1:48 PM
You gays and jealous girls can say what you want. I'd bang the anal glands outta that. Great Caesar's ghost, what a bod. Damn!
64. Effyeray - August 1, 2008 10:43 PM
Shouldn't these pictures of Chris Robinson be with the Kate Hudson story?
65. Beastman AIDS - August 2, 2008 4:07 AM
you know what kicks the ass of talkin about nipples?
A RACE HATE ARGUMENT! YUSSSS!
wait - thats what we do here, right?
66. Jocco - August 3, 2008 6:49 PM
Sorry you homos and fat sows, you can't make us believe that she is ugly
67. knuckles mcnasty - August 4, 2008 8:55 AM
Well, the best thing I can say about her is that she's trying.
She trying real damn hard.
68. CougarTexas - August 4, 2008 5:02 PM
i don't get it. if she's gonna go commando on the top floor, can't she just save us the unsightly panty lines and go commando in the basement? those underwear just killed it.
69. Lindalou - August 5, 2008 8:53 PM
Her nips have always stood at attention. This is new?
70. Toejammn' - August 13, 2008 9:10 PM
Sad that those tits come attached to such a needy bitch.
71. JPRichardson - August 14, 2008 1:17 PM
Still, she has VERY NICE LEGS!!!!
72. Bill - September 25, 2008 12:45 PM
Sure would like to suck on them.. She would make any man happy
73. Bill - September 25, 2008 12:45 PM
Sure would like to suck on them.. She would make any man happy
74. MICHAEL - May 6, 2009 2:30 PM
They say Miss Anniston Is a "SIZE Queen"...she loves to be stuffed and stretched by BIG ones. Supposedly that's what Mr. Mayer gives her. Well, I have the utmost confidence that I would leave her holes throbbing after I got done opening her up good WIDE and DEEP!!! It would be a TOTAL F#%K FEST!!! And those nipples would just be ripe for sucking on while the plowing was taking place!!!
75. MICHAEL - May 6, 2009 2:31 PM
They say Miss Anniston Is a "SIZE Queen"...she loves to be stuffed and stretched by BIG ones. Supposedly that's what Mr. Mayer gives her. Well, I have the utmost confidence that I would leave her holes throbbing after I got done opening her up good WIDE and DEEP!!! It would be a TOTAL F#%K FEST!!! And those nipples would just be ripe for sucking on while the plowing was taking place!!!