Jul 29 2008Britney Spears spending $22,000/month to stop looking perpetually pregnant
Britney Spears is dropping a ton of coin to, scientifically speaking, tighten that ass up. She's spending roughly $22 grand a month on a personal trainer, nutritionist and dance choreographer. Britney was getting sick of the constant pregnancy rumors, so she decided to do something about it that, surprisingly, didn't involve flashing her vagina at a Whopper. Wow, she has changed. The Daily Mail reports:
She has also taken on some of Victoria Beckham's diet tips, eating plenty of steamed fish and snacking on edamame beans. Britney also endures intensive work-outs with Pussycat Dolls' personal trainer James Van Daff as well as three-hour dance classes six times a week.
The source added: 'Britney piled on a lot of weight earlier this year. She was so stressed about the custody case and her medication for her bipolar disorder also made her put on weight. She was tired of being flabby and wanted to do something about it.'
Now, says the insider: 'Britney is so proud of herself because her ab muscles are back. She's feeling better than she has in ages.'
See? This is exactly what I tell women while I'm waiting in line at Starbucks. If you're serious about losing weight, just fork over $20 G's a month. It's that simple. Otherwise, you should probably let me have your whipped cream, or else your husband will sleep with his secretary. What can I say? I'm an inspiration.
NOTE: Photos link to previous Britney bikini post that my penis is still trying to sort out.
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Reader Comments
1. FIRSTY - July 29, 2008 1:31 PM
FIRSTY!!!
2. Cheese Pizza - July 29, 2008 1:33 PM
Good for Brit. Stay away from meat because it can make you fat and slow your metabolism.
3. Jammy - July 29, 2008 1:34 PM
Either way, it's working!
4. Where's Darkwing Duck? - July 29, 2008 1:38 PM
Yeah for Britney!
Mental Illness: 100
Britney: 1
Keep Smiling!
5. Clem - July 29, 2008 1:42 PM
I'll save you some big money right now Britney so check out these tips for a healthier existence. These are top secret so don;t go telling the rest of America OK?
1 - Eat less, move more.
2 - Drink water, not sugar.
There - amazing eh? Now you can go back to having no motivation and having everythng done for you as you pay through the nose. See you when you're fat again in about 3 months.
6. BigJim - July 29, 2008 1:44 PM
She still looks like a cow. Mooooo!
I want to milk her.
7. Philster - July 29, 2008 1:46 PM
How can you spend 22Gs a month on this stuff? Just get any trainer/dietetist for 40 an hour... jesus
And yeah #5's got it right.
8. Sportsdvl - July 29, 2008 1:49 PM
Stop picking on Britney and me!
9. mimi - July 29, 2008 1:52 PM
Fug Cough, Fish-Gutz!
Britney is doing GREAT and YOU still SUK!
10. nancy - July 29, 2008 1:53 PM
Bipolar?? Really?? That's what she had? So now she's on a whole different set of drugs? Hm...
11. Sport - July 29, 2008 1:58 PM
most people stop going to McDonalds drive thru and having 3 sugary coffee drinks a day to lose weight. Oh, and also only having one entree for dinner. Only Hollywood could spend $22k a month on this shit - what a joke. Do these people even have one foot in reality? DIAF.
12. Cindi - July 29, 2008 2:08 PM
Yay Brit-Brit!!! Hotter than eva!!!!!!!!!
13. Jamie - July 29, 2008 2:08 PM
I know for a fact she does not pay for the food she receives or the training from Bally's. I work for a company that provides it....
14. J@cko - July 29, 2008 2:11 PM
Good for you Britney.
15. Creative - July 29, 2008 2:13 PM
Let me guess Sportsdvl, Firsty is a douche!!!!!!!
16. dan - July 29, 2008 2:15 PM
Don't think so! that's a lot of money... Anyways
I agree;
1 - Eat less, move more.
2 - Drink water, not sugar.
3- Drink Tequila.
17. Where's Darkwing Duck? - July 29, 2008 2:17 PM
Cheese Pizza, You are a Homo.
If you want to discuss meat, please see "Jessica Simpson receives unsolicited advice from PETA."
This is not he time, nor the place for your fucked up diet tips.
18. Harry Ballzck - July 29, 2008 2:45 PM
"Bi-Polar" used to be called "depressed" until the drug companies
saw a new money making venture. Suddenly a lot of people were being told they had something now called "Bi-Polar" or they were "ADD"
At least they get the right drugs for depression or not paying attention now
Damn I wish they had a pill that made ME pay attention when I was a kid. Then I would have had something to blame for my report cards that said "does not make wise use of his time" . I could have blamed "ADD"
19. Dr. Poop - July 29, 2008 2:46 PM
Here's another good idea for you, Britney: stop drinking cans upon cans of Red Balls at 3 in the morning. Stop stuffing your face with greasy food all the time and leaving the tell-tale stains on your shirts. On that rare occasion that you see your children, instead of lounging by the pool and blowing cigarette smoke in their faces, use your kids as little exercise buddies. Put them in a stroller and jog around your neighborhood, or chase them around the park. It's not that hard. You're welcome for the awesome and mind blowing advice. That will be $22 grand. Good day.
20. Britney - July 29, 2008 3:06 PM
Dr. Poop you are my hero
21. Sportsdvl - July 29, 2008 3:09 PM
Actually "creative" #15 - you got it right!
22. sRsLy - July 29, 2008 3:20 PM
WTF?!?! When us regular peons hear people talking trash about their flabby tums, we have to buck up and take the stairs. But when celebs do, they open up their freaking ridiculous checkbooks and hand out tons of cash. So wrong. I am fucking STUNNED at the amount that Britney "flabtastic" Spers is spending. 22K can buy a regular folk like ME:
100 dollars per week on groceries for FOUR years
231 pairs of Teva sneakers
733 bali bras or bottles of benefit foundation (my choice!)
432 spa mani/pedis to spoil myself
or
17600 bottles of pepsi
Grand total could get me:
approximately 11 Prius cars per year
OR
a studio on the Upper East Side of Manhattan
I hope it's worth it for her, but you can't fix stupid.
23. sla - July 29, 2008 3:23 PM
18 -- "Bi-Polar" used to be called "depressed"
Wrong. They are not the same thing. Bipolar is manic-depressive, which means times of depression as well as times of mania. Treating BP with depression meds helps on one end -- the depression -- but throws the mania into a whole new level. Mania can show itself as extreme happiness, over-the-top energy, massive creativity, bouts of "crazy" (ie, shaving your head), out-of-control spending or partying, or extreme anger, to name a few. Sometimes mania has positive outcomes, sometimes negative, sometimes very, very negative.
Some people with BP like the roller coaster ride even if it brings a lot of problems with it. My guess is most people living with a PB person do NOT like the roller coaster ride.
Britney seems to be getting on the right track. She's got the money to spend, so it's probably better to spend it on this stuff than on drugs and razors.
If I could spend $22 grand, not each month but just ONCE, I would look one hell of a lot better than I do now.
24. Miserable Bastard - July 29, 2008 3:39 PM
Comic irony that it takes as much money in a year to keep this walking zit away from the Cheetos as it does to feed an entire refugee camp.
25. @23 - July 29, 2008 4:10 PM
you talk too much...
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F U C K OFF AND EAT MY S H I T
26. hot mess - July 29, 2008 4:13 PM
haha, he said walking zit.
27. Anonymous - July 29, 2008 4:21 PM
Sportsdvl continues to have "little man" issues.
28. Anonymous - July 29, 2008 4:23 PM
Sportsdvl continues to know nothing about sports.
29. joe m - July 29, 2008 4:47 PM
So many losers so jealous of beautiful Britney!
30. @25 - July 29, 2008 4:52 PM
You are awesome. My penis tingles with excitement.
31. kit kitten - July 29, 2008 4:53 PM
i can save her $22,000: stop eating cheetos, big macs and frapucinnos.
32. Dr. Cornelia J. Dogbarker, PhD - July 29, 2008 5:19 PM
Britney, there is only one thing that is making you fat: the medication you take for that phony "bi-polar" bullshit. Stop taking your medication, it's the only way to get back your hot body. Stop taking your medication!
(ha ha, I hope she does it and goes crazy again!!!!)
33. boo - July 29, 2008 6:05 PM
$22,000 a month to have a nice body yet she is ruining her skin with excessive tanning and smoking. And nothing is going to fix that shit once it happens
34. A Woman - July 29, 2008 8:24 PM
Steamed fish and edamame beans? They may be good for you, but who wants to live on that shit? Thank Dog I never cared about these increasingly impossible beauty standards.
BTW: anti-aging crap (not including sunscreen) is just another way to separate women from their retirement accounts. In the olden days, it was called "snake oil".
35. grossssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss - July 29, 2008 9:06 PM
And people think these asshats aren't overpaid. This is what human beings do with ungodly amounts of money, they waste it on selfish shallow materialistic shit. Look at the world, it's fucking shithole that's falling apart and these fucking clowns spend money like that to keep their asses tight. Well bitch I can show you throngs of women young and old who keep their bodies WAY better looking than yours and all it costs them is a fucking gym membership and the unprocessed healthy food they put into their pieholes in reasonable fucking doses. Some don't even go to a gym they just actually accomplish things and clean their own houses instead of laying on their fat asses all day wondering why they are getting fatter by the minute.
People should NEVER have this kind of money it ruins them, turns them into greedy aholes and deprives society of the funding it needs for shit that actually matters, like say hospitals, which is where this woman should be kept for a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.
She couldn't be more useless if she tired and she's stil FAT.
36. KBB - July 29, 2008 10:09 PM
I wonder how much she has paid to take parenting classes or whatever needs to be get done to get her kids back and to be a better Mom. Probably nowhere near the $22,000 she is excessively spending. She is spending way more money than she needs to, and this just again proves what a stupid and selfish moron she really is.
37. Shitney Beers - July 29, 2008 11:45 PM
How long on Fish & Edamame @ 22k a month before she goes nutso again and elopes with a Frito-Lay truck? We all know how this story's gonna end. Britney is no control freak, unlike Skeletor Beckham. She likes her comfort foods and negative attention and she'll be back to the Brit we know and pity in no time. She looks like she is having fun though, but 22k a month? Wow.
38. mrpenis - July 30, 2008 2:02 AM
Girl is trying to get healthy again and repair her problems with her family and society. I congrat her. Most famous people when they fall down they stay down. Not her.
She is fucking hot again. I would bang the crap out of her.
39. Jeniffer - July 30, 2008 4:16 AM
LoL/ She is really sexy!!! I have ever seen her hot video on the wealthy dating club ***R I C H L O V I N G.C O M*** for hot guys and girls to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating. She is really sexy with bikini in that video.
40. schack - July 30, 2008 9:39 AM
#38 mrpenis:
Or is it mrpenis envy?
You have to get your penis out of your hand before you can bang anything.
Got it? Now try again.
41. L Mar - August 1, 2008 1:29 AM
Oh hooray, Brit looks better. Pay me $22K a month and I'll kick your ass in to shape too. I have no respect for people who are so dependent and helpless that they need to hire an entourage to baby them like invalids. Make me work out, make me food, call and get me an appointment to get lipo-sucked... yeah, shows real motivation.
I like Brit as a human being, I feel for her but to an extent y'know? Grow up and take control of things yourself.
42. Dee - August 2, 2008 11:04 AM
It won't help change her funny looking body with mini-me legs.
43. What the fuck ever - August 6, 2008 7:43 PM
Somebody should cut this girls uterus out pronto! She can't take care of her two children (not making court dates, parenting classes, etc.) but she has all the time in the world to lay in the sun, screw an undetermined amount of men (if you want to call them that), beat the fuck out of SUV's, etc. I have two children myself and have been through depression and did it all without fucking my kids lives up and I am not the only one. Many, many women have been through this shit and managed quite well. Quit making excuses slut, get off your back and take care of what really matters.