Jul 25 2008Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt's house invaded by ninja paparazzi (No joke.)
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's French chateau was invaded by camo-wearing paparazzi. The two men Rambo'd their way onto the grounds - only to get their shit wrecked by Pitt-Jolie security guards. BOFF! POW! CAMERA IN THE ASS! The AP reports:
Police spokeswoman Capt. Olivia Poupot said Friday the two photographers were wearing camouflage clothes. She said police officers took them and the two guards in for questioning after Thursday's bust-up at the Jolie-Pitt family's Miraval estate.
Poupot said she didn't know how long the paparazzi had been on the chateau grounds or further details about the "altercation with the guards."
"One can imagine that if you discover someone in your garden who is taking your photo then you're not necessarily going to politely show them the way out," she said.
Seriously, no offense to Brad and Angelina, but what is so goddamn special about getting photos of their babies? Just take a picture of some newborns at the hospital AND NOBODY WOULD KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. Is there something someone's not telling me? Do these kids have tails? No, wait, unicorn horns! I bet that's it; holy shit, yes! Where's my camo paint?
UPDATE: Mission aborted. Lost a leg in the piranha pit after Maddox punched me in. Though it was pretty funny when he said "You cheat, Dr. Jones!" Best $5 I ever spent - until all the leg eating.
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Reader Comments
1. JIMBO - July 25, 2008 11:08 AM
FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Deacon Jones - July 25, 2008 11:09 AM
They shouldve cut their heads off and put them on the fenced gate entrance to the house
3. mod.s - July 25, 2008 11:11 AM
hahahahaha! lame.
4. literarycritic - July 25, 2008 11:12 AM
"Mission aborted. Lost a leg in the piranha pit after Maddox punched me in. Though it was pretty funny when he said 'You cheat, Dr. Jones!'"
YES. I lol'd for, like, a solid minute.
5. burgernoodle for the masses - July 25, 2008 11:13 AM
what idiot paparazzi. of course they're gonna get their shit wreaked up.
6. Sell Porn Make Money - July 25, 2008 11:15 AM
Not even close to 1st!! Is that ok?
7. burgernoodle for the masses - July 25, 2008 11:16 AM
who wants a picture of a blubbering mass of flesh anyway.
8. tabacchif - July 25, 2008 11:18 AM
he was the "kung fu panda"
9. Tv Addict - July 25, 2008 11:24 AM
Who really cares about that? They get kids left and right so how even cares to see the newest addition?
10. Eric - July 25, 2008 11:25 AM
Meh. I usually stand idly by and laugh at the celeb-poking, but with an $11 million exclusive photo deal, which will all go to charity, I can understand both photographers' soulless desire to get top dollar and the Pitt-Jolie family's security measures to make sure that doesn't happen. Anyone gets those photos out before they run according to contract nullifies the deal which guarantees the publication first crack.
So, in essence, these photographers are out to make sure more Africans die of disease and famine. Camera in the sphincter it is, then.
11. meeatu - July 25, 2008 11:29 AM
freakshow
12. Deacon Jones - July 25, 2008 11:32 AM
@7
That's what I said when my ex told me she wanted a baby.
13. dinah - July 25, 2008 11:38 AM
Those guys are losers!!!!!!
www.TheCeelist.com
www.BehindTheLaeShow.com
14. Sportsdvl - July 25, 2008 11:42 AM
Can we put these dumb fucks (who apparently didn't even fuck to get her pregnant ) on the same sinking boat with Heida and douche bag Spencer and just get rid of them all at once...
15. eric is stupid - July 25, 2008 11:42 AM
only one million will go to their PRIVATE charity that has NEVER been subjected to an audit. You have no proof the money goes to the actual people in need.
Jolie has had one of her charities already go to court to legaly seperate themselves from her fund do to monies being handled in an improper manor.
Youre just a chump who has bought in to what the PR people want you to believe.
BAAAAAAA BAAAAAAAAA Black Sheep!
16. http://webescape.wordpress.com - July 25, 2008 11:48 AM
Real ninjas would have just run across rooftops and stuff, the should make a tv show about it. I'd watch them. I'm easily pleased :D
17. havoc - July 25, 2008 11:49 AM
I wouldn't pay $11.00 to see their kids, Angelina's snapper or Brad walk on fucking water......
.
18. alex troy - July 25, 2008 11:59 AM
#4 and Fish: the Dr. Jones joke was the funniest thing i've read on this site in weeks.
19. Peas and Nuts - July 25, 2008 12:06 PM
seriously...amen to that. someone's going to get hurt sooner or later...
20. Holyfuck - July 25, 2008 12:24 PM
Fish,
Who is responsible for the god-aweful rap music infecting this website? I mean, talk about selling out completely at the expense of your readers. Terrible. Very disappointing...
21. Sportsdvl - July 25, 2008 12:32 PM
I wouldn't pay 2 cents to see any of their damn kids and Angelina's cooch is only worth about a nickel on the peep machine as well!
22. gerard Vandenberg - July 25, 2008 12:39 PM
First came the NINJA-TURDS!!
Then "THE KILLING FIELDS".
THEN (at last)THE ALARM-CLOCK!!
23. Dr. Jones - July 25, 2008 12:44 PM
"THEIR" way, not "THERE" way. C'mon, Fish, you make this mistake constantly. You either get that down in fifth grade or hire a proofreader for the rest of your life.
24. Fiz - July 25, 2008 12:49 PM
"YOU CHEAT, DR. JONES!"
good stuff!
25. paulveryze - July 25, 2008 12:56 PM
Olivia Pou-pot...hyukhyukhyuk.
26. Doc Schweinstrudel - July 25, 2008 2:10 PM
I know im totally out of touch with this site...but I ADORE ADORE ADORE Angelina and her Man and their family
27. meee - July 25, 2008 4:22 PM
yeah can you please hire me to proof read & edit your shit? you need it man. you're slippin'!
28. dew - July 25, 2008 6:06 PM
I don't care how tired we are of seeing this over-exposed couple, their children are at constant risk of nutbag paps, and probably from kidnappers too.
Who's in charge of their security at their French home? I'm not talking about the bodyguard type of security, but the electronic monitoring/secure-fencing kind. They should be black-balled from ever working security again if they can't keep out photographers, dang. Were they French (that would explain a lot)?
29. baffled - July 25, 2008 6:30 PM
23 and 27: What I don't understand is how it could be wrong in the first instance, and correct in the second WITHIN A THREE WORD SPAN. Fish, care to weigh in on that?
30. O-M-G - July 26, 2008 7:45 AM
I think alot of people are missing the point here. This has nothing to do with "babies" and everything to do with the law. I certainly hope CHARGES have been filed. What those paparazzi did was illegal; breaking and entering, theft, God knows what else. In some states those paparazzi could have been shot on site for breaking into a home and the shooter would have been well within his/her rights.
31. Narcissist - July 26, 2008 10:10 AM
God have mercy A.J. looks fucking nasty. I heard she was looking for love at SkeletalDemonWhoreMatch , com. She is truly the most beautiful lady who ever lived. Even Rico Suave has been rumored to feel this way about her in certain unknown circles.
I do think it's sort of cool that they are pimping their bastard spawn for charity and not just their own greed, and I do think trespassing on private property for pap pics IS finally crossing the line (I was looking for the Halle Barry incident, in fact).
If she hangs her rotten naked pelvis over the wall and they snap it, fine, but they shouldn't be getting through the wall.
#30 Right! If they lived next door to JOE HORN he would have taken care of this crap. Actually, I'm betting those paps would have made a much smarter decision when confronted with a shotgun and the warning, "Stop or you're dead", and would have survived, unlike those two burglar fools.
Shotgun + "Stop, or you're dead". That seems pretty clear to me. (Stop moving)
32. PeachPie - July 26, 2008 12:45 PM
"Seriously, no offense to Brad and Angelina, but what is so goddamn special about getting photos of their babies?"
Thank you for the only sane comment I've seen on a blog about this.
Here's what should be reported:
NEWS FLASH!
Two people, who's profession is acting, had babies.
Big fucking deal. They procreated, and they are actors. Whoop dee do.
33. Oh please... - July 26, 2008 4:22 PM
#32
So its "ok" to break into someones home (wearing camo no less) and do God knows what? I could care less if those paparazzi were taking "baby photos" or trying to prove who shot Kennedy. So basically, the law doesn't apply to them because "we shouldn't care"? Is that what your saying? What those paparazzi did was illegal (a felony last I checked), unethical and they should do time. Period.
34. dew - July 26, 2008 6:11 PM
@ #30 & #31
I live sorta close to the Joe Horne shootings, and you're probably spot on about how quickly those criminal paps would have been legally shot in "some" states.
@ FISH: Where's the follow-up to this story? I want to know what happened to the criminal paps, and to the security losers.
35. dew - July 26, 2008 6:21 PM
@ #30 & #31
I live sorta close to the Joe Horne shootings, and you're probably spot on about how quickly those criminal paps would have been legally shot in "some" states.
@ FISH: Where's the follow-up to this story? I want to know what happened to the criminal paps, and to the security losers.
And props to the SkeletalDemonWhoreMatch.com script, too funny!
36. Angelina Fan - July 26, 2008 9:43 PM
Freak photographers.
37. oddity - July 27, 2008 12:41 AM
@12 and that was exactly what your ex thought when she dumped you.
38. somebodys mother - July 27, 2008 10:52 AM
Angelina Jolie seems to have some serious psychological issues and Brad Pitt has turned into a freak since he left his wife for this evil skanky witch. I couldn't care less what their pups look like..lets keep them under wraps. If you believe they donate the full fee to charity then you're an idiot, they need that cash to keep their mini-zoo supplied with snacks and 4 wheelers.
39. Lisa - July 27, 2008 6:05 PM
Aw, boo hoo! Cry me a fucking river.
The only people to blame are these two fucktards.
They were asking for it--releasing statements left and right, pimping out their kids, and spewing facts about their private life.
If these idiots REALLY cared about the well-being and safety of their kids, then they´d stop courting the media.
Honestly.
PS: As for the whole Halle Berry incident, well, that was really unfortunate. Considering how she seems to be sane enough to NOT pimp out her kid on a magazine cover.
40. Jeniffer - July 28, 2008 4:21 AM
I'm just a bit curious.The Magazine HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP reported her profiles were found on the famous wealthy dating club ***R I C H L O V I N G.C O M***last week and she was seeking her new guy there now! BTW, The girls there are really hot!
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42. tiffany776 - August 3, 2008 11:58 AM
no one cared about this skank until she started screwing brad - a married man.