Jun 10 2008Heidi Montag gets stuck in an ATM
Once I start kicking asshats from The Hills in the proverbial nuts, I just can't stop. Which brings us to Heidi Montag who managed to get herself trapped in an ATM vestibule last night. And, surprisingly, it wasn't staged. Heidi acts as if she could've got out without coaching from the paps, but let's be real: She'd still be in there as we speak. Just like the time she got stuck in that mask with the giant chin and retarded smile.
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Reader Comments
1. seb - June 10, 2008 3:26 PM
I hate her!!!!!
first?
2. mr secondz - June 10, 2008 3:27 PM
2nded>!
3. Seb - June 10, 2008 3:28 PM
I cant believe it!!!!! my first "first" ever....!!! *runs out and fetches the champagne - Krystal of course!*
4. Jimmy Beam - June 10, 2008 3:32 PM
I'd like to get something of mine STUCK in her vestibule.
5. AllieCat - June 10, 2008 3:32 PM
she's such a dumbass. her chin looks like a mountain, no amount of plastic surgery can ever make her look hot
6. p0nk - June 10, 2008 3:33 PM
you'd think she'd have mastered ATM by now.
7. Mandy - June 10, 2008 3:37 PM
Why the hell is her skin always SO shiny? It's called no-shine powder or blotting papers. How can she stand to have her skin that greasy? Good thing she didn't press her face up against that glass! I can see all her orange makeup and bronzer melting off, eww!! Definitely nothing natural about this idiot.
8. Danielle - June 10, 2008 3:38 PM
Oh wow. Is this what non-celebrities are resorting to now??
You would think she would know how to get in and out of an ATM by now, especially when Spencer threatens her on a daily basis with that famous line of his: "Where's my money, bitch!".
9. Ted Mosby - June 10, 2008 3:39 PM
Where is Spencer? Isn't he like two inches away from her at all times?
10. Ted Mosby - June 10, 2008 3:41 PM
LOL@6
11. sam - June 10, 2008 3:42 PM
Will someone please kill her!?
12. literarycritic - June 10, 2008 3:42 PM
@#6: HA! Good one.
13. RichPort - June 10, 2008 3:43 PM
That's who this bitch looks like... fucking Guy Smiley from Sesame Street. Score another one for RichPort, master sleuth...
14. Randal - June 10, 2008 3:44 PM
Heidi certainly knows how to be adorable even when she's not trying to. This so reminds me of that awesome Friends episode when Chandler gets stuck in the ATM with a hot model. I was just thinking how great it would have been to spend time with Heidi as well.
What a gal!
Randal
15. janex - June 10, 2008 3:44 PM
@6 - I can't believe you beat Deacon Jones to that one!
16. Lola - June 10, 2008 3:48 PM
I'm with #11 on this.... Please, enough is enough. Someone please run this dirty ass bitch the fuck over and use them silicones to some good use. What the hell? I mean are we as a society this pathetic to make celebrities out of people who isn't deserving of it? UGH....
Ugly ass bitch... Fake ass boobs.... Fake ass teeth.... Fake ass EVERYTHING.... Hey you can't blame or hate Spencer though... He taking advantage of this whore all he can to make money off her. How exactly that is, I'll never understand
Heidi, consider yourself lucky you got away this time.... Soon though oily skank, real soon
17. FirstTimePoser - June 10, 2008 3:48 PM
I have been reading this site for years and never actually posted anything so Randal, you should feel honored. Dude, you are a douche. Seriously.
What a douche!
Anonymous
18. gay4girls - June 10, 2008 3:57 PM
What is ATM?
19. janex - June 10, 2008 3:57 PM
So somebody finally yelled 'Push!'?
20. gay4girls - June 10, 2008 3:59 PM
Oh, wait, never mind. I figured it out. Porn acronyms always confuse me. I only figured out MILF last month.
21. janex - June 10, 2008 4:00 PM
@18 - Uh-oh........
22. Jimbo - June 10, 2008 4:00 PM
Ass To Mouth..
23. Hooray, More Heidi! - June 10, 2008 4:00 PM
Heidi is bad enough with a bikini, but without?
Slow news day, eh Fish?
24. sikofdis - June 10, 2008 4:02 PM
@ #17...I haven't posted here in about two years...glad to see that we are on the same wavelength. HM is a worthless cunt and randal is indeed a giant douche
25. jrz - June 10, 2008 4:04 PM
locked in the ATM? That's like.....DanYELL stupid.
26. combustion8 - June 10, 2008 4:07 PM
god what a hideous horse face she has.. I'd still hit it from behind til the cows came home.
27. gay4girls - June 10, 2008 4:10 PM
I think Randal is being sarcastic, or maybe ironic, or maybe post-ironic. When I can't decide if someone is a genius or an idiot I usually go with "genius." You see, I'm an optimist. Like when I don't wear my glasses and just naturally assume all of the fuzzy shapes in the distance are supermodels in bikinis winking at me.
28. robes - June 10, 2008 4:11 PM
she looks much better in pictures without Spincer or whatever it's name is, but is still a fake-ass,...especially her chest....spotted as fake a mile away. I wonder if Lauren got her beef curtains fixed...
29. Anonymous - June 10, 2008 4:11 PM
If Randal knew anything about the Friends episode that he mentioned (which he doesn't), he would know that the model he refers to is Jill Goodacre, currently married to Harry Connick, Jr.
Randal, choke on that instead of the cock you usually are choking on.
30. daffy - June 10, 2008 4:13 PM
Red background with black type makes baby Jesus cry Mr Superficial.
Leave it as it was.... my eyes are painin' !!
31. daffy - June 10, 2008 4:13 PM
Red background with black type makes baby Jesus cry Mr Superficial.
Leave it as it was.... my eyes are painin' !!
32. FromOutOfNoWhere - June 10, 2008 4:20 PM
Whad da ya know, it's Miss Ass Clown
33. Nikky Raney - June 10, 2008 4:22 PM
how is she stuck?
34. Richard - June 10, 2008 4:25 PM
My dick is really much bigger than yours.
35. ph7 - June 10, 2008 4:25 PM
She's the most realistic blow-up doll I'm ever seen.
36. LillyTx - June 10, 2008 4:26 PM
OMG HOW MUCH MONEY DID SHE TAKE OUT? IS THAT A FREAKING 20 DOLLAR BILL??? HAHA
37. LillyTx - June 10, 2008 4:26 PM
OMG HOW MUCH MONEY DID SHE TAKE OUT? IS THAT A FREAKING 20 DOLLAR BILL??? HAHA
38. sloane - June 10, 2008 4:38 PM
Why does she always have to smile with her lower jaw dropped? Seriously close your mouth!
39. kat - June 10, 2008 4:46 PM
"it won't open because it's a security door"
a few seconds pass, enter Tyrone.
"what the fuck are you two doin' ?"
40. benny - June 10, 2008 4:49 PM
I think you guys are all nuts. I don't care how stupid, clueless, dumb or dense she is, you would all love a chance to feel that chin on our sack.
You all know it, don't deny it.
If you wouldnt nail her, you are gay.
41. Barely Stearn - June 10, 2008 4:58 PM
oh boy, the tired old "you hit or your gay" routine...
42. Tom - June 10, 2008 4:58 PM
God, she SUCKS. What a stupid, ugly, talentless whore.
WHY is she famous? What has she done that is in any way interesting or enriching?
She's not even sexy. She's the kind of chick that is so dumb, it doesn't matter how big her boobs are just because you wouldn't want to degrade yourself by fucking her.
43. Jane - June 10, 2008 5:24 PM
I would say Randal is a blatantly stupid asshole craving for attention. Withouth a shade of doubt.
44. Mandy - June 10, 2008 5:26 PM
Is no one going to offer up any suggestions as to why this bitch is so greasy??? SERIOUSLY. WASH YOUR FUCKING FACE.
45. Jamie's Uterus - June 10, 2008 6:20 PM
Why is everyone so fascinated with this moron? I tried to watch 'the hills' once and almost had a brain seizure. Worst. TV Show. Ever.
46. Veroonica - June 10, 2008 6:24 PM
Where is the pandemic when you need it? Dumb bitches like Heidi should remind God that maybe a nice gobal disease might help in thinning the herd.
47. http://www.UltrasoundShirts.com - June 10, 2008 6:56 PM
Oh, so THAT'S how a door works!?!
48. CapeCodder - June 10, 2008 7:36 PM
her skin is as oily as exon valdez.
49. CapeCodder - June 10, 2008 7:36 PM
her skin is as oily as exxon valdez.
50. SHOW US YOUR BEEF FLAPS BRITNEY SPEARS! - June 10, 2008 8:16 PM
heidi montag has the ugliest fucking feet and the biggest fucking jay leno chin since drew berrymore
51. wet newspaper - June 10, 2008 8:36 PM
She needs to shut her pie hole once in a while.
52. wet newspaper - June 10, 2008 8:38 PM
I heard she has a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh.
When Spencer Twatt puts his ear next to it, he can smell the ocean.
53. Halle's Berry - June 10, 2008 9:04 PM
this vapid cunt is why gas is $4.30 a gallon
54. Dorito Man - June 10, 2008 10:11 PM
@52
No no no she doesn't let Spencer put his face down there. (or anything else for that matter) That would be too impromptu! Plus it would be boring for her, cos no one would be watching..
55. Luckyone - June 10, 2008 10:19 PM
She looks beautiful in that dress. She is my favorite. I love her. I saw herprofile on millionairedatingsite "W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m" last week.Is she single now? Just curious.
56. brittbrat - June 10, 2008 10:56 PM
OMG! this is too funny... are u kidding me right now? stupid bitch... gotta love it!
57. wet newspaper - June 10, 2008 11:14 PM
54...
That makes sense. You know what else makes sense now..? The blonde pubes that Spencer Twatt has growing on his face. Word has it that Heidi makes him grow the beard so she always has an excuse whenever he feels the urge to err... smell the ocean.
58. Dorito Man - June 10, 2008 11:34 PM
Maybe she does him with a big strap-on? Btw is it possible to pronounce "Spencer" without sounding like a poof? I don't think so.
59. suck my balls - June 10, 2008 11:34 PM
lay off Heidi - i got stuck in an ATM once. Not fun.
i'd totally tap her though.
60. wet newspaper - June 10, 2008 11:43 PM
58...
Strap-on is quite possible. He looks just the wimpy, submissive type who could be quite easily talked into that.
...and maybe Thpenther has pubes growing on his face because he is a big c^nt? :-)
61. Dorito Man - June 11, 2008 12:06 AM
@60 Yeah and when he does finally shave it all off he'll say he "got a Brazilian".
hehehe
62. wet newspaper - June 11, 2008 12:17 AM
61... HAHAHAHA. That was so funny, I just splurted coffee all over the monitor.
He'll look like a 9 year old boy again. I hear that Criss Angel is looking for a young boy to participate in one of his magic tricks.... ' Vanishing With A Big *Poof* '.
63. Arguman - June 11, 2008 1:16 AM
lol #13. I was afraid she wasn't going to flash that dopey grin of hers. Thankfully, she did not disappoint. Well, of course she disappointed by not being shot in the head in the last pic, but you know what I mean.
64. Coco - June 11, 2008 7:45 AM
Worthless. You truly should not post photos of this horse unless it's with her bikini - or naked or a sex tape link with her strap-on slave.
65. A - June 11, 2008 8:50 AM
she's disgusting
66. Tori - June 11, 2008 11:21 AM
What's with the Heidi head tilt. She looks like one of those Catholic saint pictures (sans Halo and any purpose in life) Sorry, Heidi isn't even pretty and if I see one more "poser" pic for the paps I think I'll puke all over myself. Dumbass broad.
67. gerard Vandenberg - June 11, 2008 1:03 PM
"DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS"?
It's june, you moron!!
68. Mr. Ed - June 11, 2008 3:35 PM
Does she look like Mr. Ed with blonde hair and implants or what? Her face is longer than the Constitution.
69. EatAttheY - June 11, 2008 3:48 PM
#69 BITCHES!!
70. Pederast Hanerhan - June 11, 2008 3:49 PM
I'b like to combine her DNA with Ashley Simpsons to create the worlds first half- human / half-chin creature.
71. Kmart - June 11, 2008 4:36 PM
i'm shocked... SHOCKED... that heidi montag got stuck in an atm vestibule.
72. pjfan281 - June 11, 2008 5:17 PM
quick, give her your ATM card...whats the password....BOSCO!
73. CindyM - June 11, 2008 5:29 PM
This would be funny if it hadn't happened to such a pathetic person. Seriously--remebering her PIN number must have taken up her alloted brain power for the day and pushing a door open afterwards just tipped her over the limit.
74. Nicole - June 12, 2008 12:48 AM
Couldn't some one with great photoshop skills actually read her atm receipt or card and get her info...these pics are a little identity theft friendly aren't they?
75. Alex H - June 13, 2008 1:08 AM
For the record Nicole, ATM receipts only print the last 4 digits of your credit or debit card #, and some print the remaining amount of money in your account- some dont. it's just for that reason (in case you throw the receipt out or something) that they do that- so no one can steal your identity or money.
76. Alex H - June 13, 2008 1:08 AM
For the record Nicole, ATM receipts only print the last 4 digits of your credit or debit card #, and some print the remaining amount of money in your account- some dont. it's just for that reason (in case you throw the receipt out or something) that they do that- so no one can steal your identity or money.
77. Alex H - June 13, 2008 1:09 AM
For the record Nicole, ATM receipts only print the last 4 digits of your credit or debit card #, and some print the remaining amount of money in your account- some dont. it's just for that reason (in case you throw the receipt out or something) that they do that- so no one can steal your identity or money.
78. Alex H - June 13, 2008 1:14 AM
oh, and also- in order to steal someone's identity, you need their social security number. and im not sure why my other post wound up there 3 times..
79. Alex H - June 13, 2008 1:15 AM
oh, and also- in order to steal someone's identity, you need their social security number. and im not sure why my other post wound up there 3 times..
80. Sim - June 16, 2008 3:42 AM
LOL@70