May 22 2008Shania Twain's (soon to be ex-)husband hates his penis
Chances are you've heard the reports that Shania Twain's 14 year marriage to producer Mutt Lange is in the crapper. Turns out ol' Mutt has been seeing another woman, if that's what you want to call the thing standing next to Shania. (I'm going with "Jabberwocky.") If that's not enough, the lady in question Marie-Anne Thiebaud was also a close friend/employee of Shania, according to People:
"Mutt and Marie-Anne left their spouses for each other and are still in a relationship," says one source, adding that the Swiss employee was a fixture in the household Twain, 42, and Lange, 59, shared with their son, 6-year-old Eja D’Angelo.
"Their two families would vacation and spend holidays together," says the source. "Shania considered Marie-Anne one of her best friends."
Wait, that Marie-Anne chick is only 37 yet looks like 42-year-old Shania Twain's mother? That God is one funny bastard. But, seriously, does draft beer and comic books shoot out of her ears during sex? Because, otherwise, I'm at a total loss here. Or, wait, is Mutt Lange blind? That's it isn't it? Dude's blind. BAM! I should solve crimes.

Reader Comments
1. john's girl - May 22, 2008 12:16 PM
Her husband's name is Mutt? The jokes write themselves...
2. Mutt is a fool - May 22, 2008 12:16 PM
hah, i just sent that, I guess someone else did it first. what an IDIOT!
3. Puppy Styles - May 22, 2008 12:16 PM
I had pancakes for dinner.
4. Puppy Styles - May 22, 2008 12:17 PM
I had pancakes for dinner.
5. Puppy Styles - May 22, 2008 12:17 PM
I had pancakes for dinner.
6. michy - May 22, 2008 12:17 PM
love is blind!!
7. mimi - May 22, 2008 12:17 PM
Who cares?
What is Britney doing?
8. Rat - May 22, 2008 12:17 PM
It makes sense to me!
Mutts mate with other dogs.
Mutt is a dickhead!
Shania still looks like 20 something. I friggin love her! Hopes she makes some more country music.
9. Andres - May 22, 2008 12:18 PM
Maybe he ain't blind, maybe he is gay and cannot appreciate female beauty? Or he's an idiot? It just boggles the mind.....
10. Foolish Man - May 22, 2008 12:19 PM
He should just cut his eyes out of his head and donate them to a blind person
11. Jimbo - May 22, 2008 12:20 PM
The penis wants what he penis wants. Maybe that explains why he only has one eye..
12. Honey I'm Home - May 22, 2008 12:22 PM
Damn, that bitch looks like her face caught on fire and somebody put it out with a tire iron.
But what do you expect? A guy named "Mutt" is naturally going to be attracted to other dogs... how he bagged Sha-nay-nay is still a mystery.
.
13. snarky - May 22, 2008 12:23 PM
That woman is a troll compared to Shania, and looks so much older too. Shania has an amazing figure & is pretty; What the hell is Mutt thinking? Or maybe Shania is an ice cold bitch? Either way, she sure got screwed over; best friend & husband...ouch. My brother pulled the same shit on his best friend...ran off w/ his best friend's wife (who is a fat, bossy bitch) and now,after 10 years, she just ditched him for someone else. Hate to say it bro, but serves you right. Karma will get you eventually.
14. veggi - May 22, 2008 12:24 PM
I'd make a sandwich a day for the man that can shoot beer from his ears.. Maybe even de-wrinkle his shirts in the dryer..
15. hendero - May 22, 2008 12:28 PM
"They said, "I bet they'll never make it" "
Ha ha, we were right. Again.
"I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin' "
You'd be missin' a messy divorce and your husband leaving you for Bigfoot.
16. Jumpin_J - May 22, 2008 12:28 PM
So Jeff, I guess you don't impress her much. Ha! I kill me.
17. agree - May 22, 2008 12:35 PM
I am happy for them. But Just saw his profile on millionaire&celeb dating
site "W e a l t h y R o m a n c e. co m" last week. I am wondering what kind
of relationship he is looking for on that site. Looking for sugababe?
18. Mercutio - May 22, 2008 12:36 PM
The woman may be "a troll" who is standing next to Shania,
but she has a great rack, seriously great..
and guys, how do you know Shania isn't the dullest thing ever? Sometimes you start a conversation with an average looking chick, and it turns into some serious messing about because of how good her personality is...if you don't know about that, then you're not fucking the right chicks.
Or you're on here dreaming like most of you are.
19. noneyobeezwax - May 22, 2008 12:36 PM
if i've said it once, i've said it a thousand times:
you show me the hottest woman in the world and i'll show you the guy that's sick of fucking her.
20. Clem - May 22, 2008 12:37 PM
Shania is a properly great looking woman but as the old saying goes "Show me a good looking woman and I'll show you a man who is fed up of putting up with her crap."
Mutt Lang has more cash than god. He is one of the most successful music producers/writers of our time.
21. Ted Mosby - May 22, 2008 12:37 PM
I love Canadians.
22. he is still a fool - May 22, 2008 12:43 PM
18-
whoopi goldberg has a great rack too, if by great you mean big looking. when you are beyond certain age or a certain point of ugliness... that no longer matters. You don't REALLY know what they look like till you see them anyways.
23. President Bill Clinton - May 22, 2008 12:44 PM
I heard that what really caused the split was that Shania discovered that he liked Moosehead.
Seems she noticed the antler marks on his thighs.
.
24. Fuck Spammers - May 22, 2008 12:46 PM
#17:
Kill yourself. You know you want to.
25. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - May 22, 2008 12:49 PM
This really does sound like a bad country song, not to be redundant or anything...
26. man - May 22, 2008 12:49 PM
This could be part of the problem.....
"There’s been some speculation that Shania Twain and her husband haven’t had sex in some time, because she’s said to practice a religion called “Sant Mat,” that supposedly does not allow sex except for procreation."
That can esplain A LOT.
27. Auntie Kryst - May 22, 2008 12:51 PM
@23 That's one ol' beer joke, but it's still fucking brilliant.. Thanks for bringing it back up.
28. havoc - May 22, 2008 12:51 PM
Shania's hot as hell, but you can bet your ass that a woman that looks like that is high fucking maintenence.
She underestimated the power of men not giving a shit.....
.
29. Guy Leflour - May 22, 2008 12:55 PM
Yeah, it's easy to look at the picture and go "WAIT A MINUTE... SHANIA TWAIN IS BETTER LOOKING!" But nobody ever considers the possibility that the other chick is a sex addict that insists you shoot it all over her jugs while Shania Twain only lets you put it in her on your birthday. I'd imagine that shit getting old somewhere around month 10, no matter how hot she is.
30. Skeleton - May 22, 2008 12:57 PM
NO BLOW JOB - NO SEX NO WONDER HE CHEATED ON HER
31. MUTT LANGE LANGE MUTT - May 22, 2008 12:57 PM
Shave and a fart-sack, two bits!
32. veggi - May 22, 2008 1:01 PM
The boots question finally answered..
33. ??? - May 22, 2008 1:01 PM
"you show me the hottest woman in the world and i'll show you the guy that's sick of fucking her"
What's your point? There will always be a line of guys waiting to even talk to that hot chick. Who cares if there's the guy that's sick of it? Guys are dispensible anyways. Move along, tool. Hot chicks can get any guy they want.
34. NY Ted - May 22, 2008 1:05 PM
The French chick lets Mutt put it in her bum! He likes that! I mean what other explanation can it be...she's as ugly as a junk yard dog!.
Canadian girls have class!
35. Ted from LA - May 22, 2008 1:14 PM
Mutt needs to move his boots out from under her bed before she lays down in said bed because something tells me the boxspring will be crushing the shit out of them at that point. I heard her dog died too. And her brother is going to prison. And worst of all, she got drunk and lost some of her clothes. And last but not least, it's been raining for two weeks straight where she lives. Her pickup truck broke down and now she jumps trains to get to the studio and back. The saddest part of all, I read in the National Enquirer that her give a shit is busted.
36. Screwed Big Time - May 22, 2008 1:21 PM
Maybe the sex life was lacking after 10 years and then he started screwing his wifes best friend. This is why all married females should be very careful about having single friends around their husband a lot. This happens all the time because the people feel comfortable with each other, but it is morally wrong. The bottom line is never trust your best friend 100 percent and be careful about the secrets you tell them. My husband dumped me for my best friend. She swallows and I don't.
37. FRIST!!! - May 22, 2008 1:21 PM
Somebosy had pancakes for dinner. I want pancakes. Or another bottle of ARROWHEAD..
38. Dr. Otto VanDerWahl - May 22, 2008 1:22 PM
I have it on good source that Shania got tired of having Mutt give her a Cleveland Steamer...she wanted more in the relationship
39. Vim - May 22, 2008 1:25 PM
The friend lets him come in her face, I imagine.
40. drewb - May 22, 2008 1:25 PM
Downgrade....
41. veggi - May 22, 2008 1:30 PM
Fucking men. Seriously, you can come on a fucking blow up doll...... is that really enough reason to go from decent to disgusting?? Apparently so..
I need a drink.
FRIST!!! Gimmie some damn Arrowhead water!! .................please??
42. Trover - May 22, 2008 1:31 PM
For those of you who do not know who Mutt is, he is just one of the top rock n roll music producers ever. Seriously good and loaded. He was set before Shania did squat.
As to the rest, I have heard rumors for years that Shania is a real ballbuster and has issues from her childhood that make it tough to be around her for long. Makes it tough an a relationship. Sure, it is easy to screw a hot chick, but not when you have to live with the emotional baggage for years and they wear you down with their control issues. Cheating is the non-confrontational way of ending a relationship. Passive aggressive, but happens all the time. Ballbusters beware.
43. Koko - May 22, 2008 1:31 PM
WTF?! I absolutely HATE her music and am fully committed to my hot girlfriend, but I STILL wanna bang the hell out of Shania! Why the hell would I ever leave the house if I was her husband, let alone fuck the Cryptkeeper there?!
44. ??? - May 22, 2008 1:32 PM
Men are just animals
45. FRIST!!! - May 22, 2008 1:32 PM
Veggi, I knew you would need a water, I brought one for each of us!!
46. wiggum4prez - May 22, 2008 1:33 PM
in the dark they all feel the same.
47. moi - May 22, 2008 1:38 PM
Which goes to show that looks doesn't make a relationship work.
Girls stop starving yourselves, don't worry about a little cellulite...no matter how hot you look, chances are your guy will cheat on you.
harsh but true
48. deacon jones - May 22, 2008 1:39 PM
High maintenance and pretty = I'm too good to suck dick =
Fuck you then, I'll find someone who will
49. robo - May 22, 2008 1:45 PM
What am I missing? The article says the other woman is 59. Why dies Phish say 37?
50. Haitian Ted (Darwinian Philosopher) - May 22, 2008 1:46 PM
Any woman over 25 or that has had children is damaged goods. Yeah I doubt the old hag was any good in the sack or for the sack. She was ok looking 15 years ago.
It is only natural that a (successful) man would want a young woman. The losers get married or take our discards.
A man should always have a mistress and that shoud be the one he has sex with.
The purpose of a wife is to rear the children (if they are genetically worthy) and to maintain the estate.
A man (successful) should always have prenups.
The rest of you losers (working class) have no other options as the risk if infidelity is too great. But then again, being poor, you do not deserve the finer things in life.
51. fygu - May 22, 2008 1:49 PM
Shania is a goddess. I fucking love her and some of her music is even good. But I do know that she denied her husband sex for years. Sex is important to some people, ya know?
52. Trover - May 22, 2008 1:55 PM
If you are denying sex to your spouse for years, it ain't much of a marriage is it? That sort of problem kills a relationship. So this is no surprise. I mean, no surprise at all. Only thing that is a surprise is that they lasted this long. Crazy chicks kill relationships.
53. ph7 - May 22, 2008 2:03 PM
Face it - Shania definitely looks/act frigid.
Remember, Bruce Springsteen dumped hot actress Julianne Phillips for Patty Scafia - who is much more homely. Why? 'Cause she made him King, and not her bitch.
Shania made Mutt her bitch.
54. BitchyBlonde - May 22, 2008 2:03 PM
Why is it that rich, beautiful women cannot hold on to their husbands?
Both(!) of Halle Berry's husbands fucked around on her, and now Shania Twain's husband hooks up with the housekeeper.
Seriously. What's up with that?
55. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - May 22, 2008 2:04 PM
Maybe they can fight for his love with a good ol' fashioned round of topless foxy boxing. Of course Shania would have to punch her on the waist to hit her tits, but still...
56. Over 40 Hottie - May 22, 2008 2:07 PM
#50
You have been living under a rock or your whole social scene is the Internet and jerking off to barely legal teens. There are so many men out there that enjoy looking and being with MILF and I'm one of them.
57. Too Funny - May 22, 2008 2:14 PM
Hey #50 I showed your post to the guys in my office here to find out if that's true. They all had a good laugh and said you really need to get laid by a real person and put your blow up darwin doll away.
58. 56 Stop it please I am getting ill - May 22, 2008 2:16 PM
The thought of a nude woman at your age makes me want to vomit. Seriously ole timer, your need to act your age and settle down. There are bingo halls and bridge tournaments. You like em young? Why not offer to use all that repressed middle aged energy and volunteer to walk dogs at an animal shelter?
You need to act your age. As for me, I have the financial means to do whateve I want. A lord has his servants and bed wenches and yes, this is how I treat the young women that I pleasure. Not emotion just sex.
But they are young. Men age well. Women sag and get veins.
Grow up and just grow old, ma'am.
59. Grunion - May 22, 2008 2:26 PM
#58 that was hillarious. "the young women you pleasure'? ya they are called hookers and the only reason they don't laugh at your small dick and shitty sex is cause they are getting paid u fucking douchesprtizer.
60. jesus - May 22, 2008 2:57 PM
@33
You're missing the point. We're not denying that Shania can find a new man (who will eventually get bored with her). We're just saying that no matter how hot a chick is, it gets tiresome eventually. Especially if you have money and/or looks and/or power. Sure, a hot chick can pick out whatever guy she wants every night (within reason). I might not always be the guy, but luckily living in Los Angeles there are about fifty hot chicks in any bar any night, and one of them will end up being useful until the next morning.
61. sameshitdifferentyear - May 22, 2008 2:57 PM
Don't the "Before And After" pics usually go the other way around???
Female identical-twin BEFORE, trophy-wife AFTER.
I've always thought of Shinhiegse as an overrated slag, but what could that other broad possibly have to offer? She must use her tongue in all sorts of unclean places.
62. Giggles - May 22, 2008 3:06 PM
"Wait, that Marie-Anne chick is only 37 yet looks like 42-year-old Shania Twain's mother?"
Exactly what I was thinking.
63. pistola - May 22, 2008 3:19 PM
shania will always be beautiful.
for u assholes (namely #50) who have lost all touch with reality: maybe shania was denying her husband sex, which makes sense if he is getting it from that other woman/thing.... but if there is love and committment and generosity and MATURITY, people can go on to have successful marriages/relationships.
i feel sorry for all of u people who don't believe in that. it just shows that no one has loved u.
64. Joco - May 22, 2008 3:26 PM
high maintenance ice queen vs hot wild sex in the dark
65. Jason - May 22, 2008 3:31 PM
#50 & #58 (most likely the same douchebag) are sitting here on a site talking about how a woman is worthless past the age of 25 and how they have wenches. LOL. This is the internet, it's not reality and you obviously live in a fantasy land where you are king. #63 is right - you have never been loved. You're so miserable you have to spew your hatred on a site where you don't even post your own name. Grow the fuck up. I'm a guy and trust me ladies, there are men out there that don't agree at all with this whiny little bastard. You ladies are gorgeous and the ones 35 and above are dynamite in bed! This collassel hand job of a man sleeps with a blowup "wench" everynight because no woman will have such a freak. He probably gives it sexual orders and practices kicking it out of bed every morning. I mean, you call yourself a lord???? LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven't laughed this hard in a while.
66. ??? - May 22, 2008 3:36 PM
#60 - you live in LA. You have no basis for reality.
67. Joe - May 22, 2008 3:37 PM
The first thing I thought when I saw that picture before I read anything was that was Shania Twain's mom. I mean, this woman is only 8 years older than I am and yet she looks 30 years older.
68. deacon jones - May 22, 2008 3:40 PM
@65
Yes, there are some ladies around 35 that are hot, but overall, 95% of guys will take a hot 22, 24 yr old over a 35 one anyday. Unless you're looking for anal, the older ones always let you get away with more shit
69. Please Don't Insult Others' Intelligence - May 22, 2008 3:42 PM
#58
Sweetie,
No wealthy man who can fuck hot (young) women anytime he wants to will be wasting his time writing crappy comments on a gossip site.
Or would your rather make the rest of us think you're gay?
70. The Master pets his Dogs (now wag your tails) - May 22, 2008 3:58 PM
It seems that persons of the status frequenting a site such as this are largely unaware of the financical disparity and thus cultural superiority of the priveleged class. I speak for myself, not the working characters. I date two types of women: those that I take to social functions, and those with whom I engage in sex. The former are educated and the latter are merely young and lovely. These persons are in essence - toys. I do with them as I please and for them it is almost an honor to serve me. I take them places they cannot go and buy them petty trinkets. The poor much like little birds staring into a mirror, are fascinated by shiny things. So yes, I pay for what I want. And then I take them home or send them home.
I have all the time to do what I usually want to do as what I do allows me to do so. I have others such as you people perform work for me. I own my own businesses.
I travel, dine, and luxuriate in a fine life and am grateful for my inheritance which is the luxury of finer breeding and genetics.
I speak quite a truth that is beyond the functional grasp of the working class.
71. pistola - May 22, 2008 4:05 PM
go fuck yourself #70.
i own my own business as well, yet somehow i seem to manage not to be a total douche.
72. Douching is not a wise career choice my good man - May 22, 2008 4:09 PM
Sir, I employ the usage of a bidet this is true. Thus I am somewhat of what I will call a semi-quasi-doucher. I am proud to have excellent hygiene to match my finances. Clean living and smart investing are two mantras of mine.
Non-sequiter sir.
73. The Master bates his penis (Yeah, you douchebag) - May 22, 2008 4:20 PM
Anyone whp comes on this page and talks about superior breeding, and isn't discussing horses or dogs is a total douchebag. People are not bred, they are born and raised. Whatever it is you think you have, keen intellect is not one of those things. You my friend are no better than a dog, who hores arounf the neighborhood sniffing for other dogs in heat. your shiny trinkets are things people use you to obtain. It goes both ways idiot. I am sure the birds you speak of get tired of your trifles and happily move on to better things. After all, tey have zero interest in you. Just your wallet. But yor breading aparently has not made you smart enough to realize this cruel fact. We all know you suck balls as a human.
74. Jackson - May 22, 2008 4:23 PM
Shania will find love again I'm sure unlike saggy wide load cellulite fat ass depends on a girdle Kim Kardaskank because men use her for porn and easy sex and then dump her.
75. The "Master" Needs A Straight Jacket - May 22, 2008 4:24 PM
#70
Sweetie, sweetie... I thought you were just a compulsive liar - I didn't know you had problems with hallucination. Stop buying the cheap drugs, OK?
"Wasting time", sweetheart, doesn't mean you have to work. But please don't look down on others' intelligence. Let me just give you a little hint: rich men, sweetie, who do not need to work anymore, will have so many more enjoyable things to do than writing inarticulate, uneducated comments on a gossip site in their tremendous amount of spare time, including, but not limited to: fucking lovely women, gambling with other high rollers, etc..
Now, if you're not hallucinating, the only possible reason that you think gossiping is better than the fun things rich men will do is that you're gay. At least that doesn't need a psychiatrist' intervention, in my opinion. But unfortunately, that destroys all your claims and arguments to dust, or if you'd allow me to use a finer term: bull shit.
76. I bet you've been spreading a lot of STDs you loser! - May 22, 2008 4:24 PM
#70
I bet you've been spreading a lot of STDs you loser!
77. Grunion - May 22, 2008 4:39 PM
#72 "Clean living and smart investing are two mantras of mine."
classic shit. Please keep it coming. I love delusional crazy peple and thier demented ramblings.
I'm guessing your other matras are "never leave house before dark"
and "always carry some anal lube, just in case"
78. TheMasterFucksaSheepParUsuall - May 22, 2008 4:42 PM
#70 "I own my own businesses."
Selling your shit on E-bay doesn't actually count as a business BTW
79. Douchespritzer - May 22, 2008 4:44 PM
"Thus I am somewhat of what I will call a semi-quasi-doucher."
Thats funny the rest of us just call you a fag.
80. hi - May 22, 2008 4:57 PM
mutt has denied this rumor. you are presenting this as fact, when it's only a false rumor.
81. Tsk tsk the anger causes indigestion... - May 22, 2008 5:20 PM
...not to mention the terrible cooking (the cheap food and I know it has arisen in price for you poor folk with all the insolent children and such, animals - ghastly they commiserate in the same hubble) and stress of poverty.
Please understand that my station is hereditary, yours involves trifling duties - "manning" machines and assembling and scurrying this way and that and oh the sweating how is smells. My responsibility is to make the bussiness judgements that allow your class to have a function or shall we say job so that you can raise your large family of workers for my interests.
I am in charge and you do what I say. I am a man of imagination. You are persons of toil. This is terrible fact.
My only delusion is that I could teach you creatures a lesson or two of life. I could no more talk to a bird in one of my trees and expect it to comprehend than waste my time with you babbling idiopaths.
Now run about and gather your costumes. It is bowling night and the children must go play sports on a public park field somewhere in suburbia (a horrid realm of the working class).
I live a wonderful life and people such as yourselves read books and go to ridiculous constructions that Hollywood calls "movies" that portray the lives lead by the chosen class that I enjoy in tribe.
82. boosh - May 22, 2008 5:20 PM
i'm with #64!!!
83. How Can Anyone Be So Delusional? - May 22, 2008 5:33 PM
#81
"My responsibility is to make the bussiness judgements that allow your class to have a function or shall we say job so that you can raise your large family of workers for my interests."
You can't even write and you expect people to believe you "make the bussiness judgements"? Oh wait, are you a pimp for streetwalkers? That's the only way it might believable that you could manage businesses because even high class madames have to be somewhat articulate.
"a man of imagination", my ass. You are drowned in shitty imagination.
See a psychiatrist please. If you can't afford it, ask a social worker. Oh wait, do they have a social worker at your homeless shelter?
84. French Style - May 22, 2008 5:49 PM
That ugly woman is French and that thing is considered sexy in France lol
85. cecil - May 22, 2008 6:30 PM
People are seriously paranoid about cheating these days. Yes, a lot of people cheat, but most people don't. The real estimate according to most psychologists is about 1 out of every 4 men and 1 out of every ten women. The percentages have gone down since the 1960's.
Men who say that "all men cheat" are just trying to make an excuse, and calling men animals and not holding them accountable for their actions is insulting to them as it is harmful to women.
86. #83 I offer you employment (if you are young and attractive) - May 22, 2008 6:36 PM
I must apologize for any typographical errors. I am not employing spellchecking software here for these enjoyable ramblings.I am willing to exploit your humble services as a virtual secretary. Send nude photos.
Streetwalker? Have you heard of VD? AIDS? I always use condoms anyway, I detest the rancid secretions of a woman's vagina. Women are mere tools for gratification and breeding if need be.
I actually do employ a psychoanalyst and have done so now for 9 years. Psychiatrists are for the mentally disabled. My analytical sessions have strengthened me in that I have come to comprehend my mind all the keener. I do not suffer lonliness or sadness and have never suffered the insanity of love.
I have never really loved anyone. I have always felt in a woman's body my own pleasure. If this means I am insane than feel to call me so if the need arises my absurd little critic! My doctor does not feel it is so. I suffer from a peculiarity of breeding. My father detested the company of my mother and apparantly the syndrome you would say I suffer is actually a superior aspect of my "strain". Love is for the weak as is religion and other trifling debasements of thought.
As for drugs I do not employ anything other than an occasional aspirin and wine and beer. I have never felt the need for anything more although a time before I was in the company of what your caste would call rich brats and they introduced me to various forms of substance abuse to which I never succumbed.
Hallucinations? I experience visions and have suffered from altered states of perception at times of meditation and in some dreams.
As to the idiot who claims that people have not been bred I must beg the question: sir did you attend education beyond the elementary variety? Are you aware of eugenics? Few common sorts are aware of the truth regarding some of what you may call the advante garde branches of humanity and I will go no further. Frankly it is not your concern and is beyond your grasp. Or shall we say to the clever few amoungst you here, your capacity to attain.
87. El-COyote - May 22, 2008 7:37 PM
Simple explanation... Chick A - Shania - probably is a terrible lay. Chick B - rocked his world... pardon pun...
88. Too Bad I Was Raised to Feel Empathy - May 22, 2008 7:51 PM
#86
Deary,
Now you sound downright boring. I didn't know you had a talent of pointing out the obvious. Before, I gave you the benefit of the doubt for just not being eloquent or articulate. Even assholes can be entertaining sometimes, but you're even too dull to be an asshole. Your last paragraphs made me feel sorry for your psychoanalyst, unless s/he suffers from insomnia.
If you couldn't see it already, I would never settle for being a secretary, yours especially. Hell, from the things you wrote, I would be overqualified to be your speech writer. With your claim of "strain," it is beyond ridiculous that you could succumb to writing that is not even remotely "peculiar" or "superior".
Good bye, deary. I'm sorry my interest in rambling with you has now just completely fizzled.
P.S.: If you "detest the rancid secretions of a woman's vagina", then you're probably gay, unless you have only dealt with women with yeast infection or syphilis. There is nothing wrong with being gay, but I hope you could come to term with that.
89. Voices in my head . . . - May 22, 2008 8:12 PM
Does anyone else imagine Sideshow Bob when they read Lord Pussington's posts, or is it just me?
90. pheonix - May 22, 2008 8:19 PM
OMG 89, when you do that, its just downright hilarious!
But seriously, I think the guy is just yanking everyone's chain. Nobody could be that demented, shallow and spiritually damaged, unless they're on par with the likes of Hitler.
91. Empathy -a disease of Cowards - May 22, 2008 8:36 PM
Love, I must state I expected nothing more from you. I must offer another lesson to you for my own amusement sake. Caring for others beyond the scope of symbiotic interrelations is a waste of nervous energy little sprite.
That mental energy is better focused on industrial mentation. Effort that will lead to self-profit.
As for myself, I honestly spend about 2-3 hours a day at this point 3-4 times a week at "work". I live lavishly but not garishly. The only actual superfluous expenditures of my finances are for the pretty shiny things for little sex toys. And I never spend that much because I do not allow myself to be taken in the game of man versus woman. Do not be decieved little sprite into thinking that for some us such as I that there is not a great game being played. As in chess, I play with deadly strategy. I do not sacrifice unless I gain in position.
You, my little sprite are obviously of a class of person that is trying so hard to "make it" as they say and it angers you to read my thoughts or was it ramblings. I was in essence appointed my station in life through birthright as you were yours. I realize that for those without luxury existence is hardly pleasurable to the extent as it has been for myself. You seem duly annoyed with me little sprite.
And in conclusion I indeed find women by the nature of their being essentially two dimensional - sex and child bearing - nothing more. Which is not to say that there are not women of noble bearing and intellect. Unfortunately you do not fall into this category for all of the hard work you have ever wasted you will never climb higher than the level ordained for you, dear.
Perhaps I will have more the morrow. I am a bit of a sadist and I enjoy that you despise me even though I could have you if I so chose to, little sprite.
92. Insatiable Peter - May 22, 2008 8:47 PM
Let's face it: Shania got tired of listening to and sounding like Def Leppard. If Mutt brought out that fucking double kick drum one more time, she was going to write "Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under (Epilogue,)" and it wouldn't have been pretty... As soon as the other bitch rearranged the lyrics and sang, "Pour some sugar on me... ooo and inside my butt," Mutt was hooked.
93. Enough 91. . . - May 22, 2008 9:22 PM
Stop this mindlss blathering and just reveal your next nefarious plan to kill Bart Simpson!
94. wreckhouse - May 22, 2008 10:04 PM
@91-
Look, everyone on here knows you're a virgin. I don't have to know you to know the only sex you get is of the one handed variety. Thanks for giving me such a great laugh with your bullshit, though. Ordinarily I'd say people like you would do the rest of us a favour by tossing yourself under the wheels of a bus, but when you post such funny shit, it just about makes me forgive you for sucking up oxygen.
Nighty night now, and I hope you and tonight's date (is that your right hand or your left?) have a great time.
95. Mississippi - May 22, 2008 10:16 PM
Dunno why... But when I was reading this it computed in my head like this: Shania (aka MUTT because I'm slow haha) was now a lesbian and Ann-Marie was her new lover.. And that they both left their spouses and had a son??? lol....... It's sad cause that would have made this post way more superfical worthy IMO haha
96. it's_OK_to _be_gay - May 22, 2008 11:58 PM
#86 " I detest the rancid secretions of a woman's vagina." but you love the sweet secretions of a guy's ass.
97. I_envy_dillusional_people - May 23, 2008 12:19 AM
the douchebag who writes these 10-page comments about how he is the lord and blah-blah-blah (#81,86,91 etc) is Donald Trump no doubt. Oh wait, DT would not post on gossip sites. He probably doent's even know they exist. Could that be Rupert Murdoch perhaps?... As much as I hate them both, I doubt either one would do something as unimportant as posting here.
Who are you, mysterious billionaire?..
98. Prof - May 23, 2008 12:43 AM
Having a wife that looks like Shania Twain would be a dream come true for most guys, but "IF" she's frigid or treats her husband like he's just a lucky dumb shit for being with her well I can see how that may get old after 10 yrs. Even hot women & trophy wives have to realize their looks will only take them so far in a relationship, after that point you will find your boyfriend/husband banging your ugly best friend... who always had the "nice personality" (aka you can talk to her and she's a whore in bed)! Or, maybe the guy just fell for someone else. If you have steak & red wine everyday for a decade one day you may feel like having hamburger and soda once and awhile.
99. CindyM - May 23, 2008 8:12 AM
Wow--there's just no accounting for taste, is there? That must be why Mutt picked Marie-Anne over Shania and also why my dog likes her own butt.
100. Casper - May 23, 2008 9:23 AM
Leave Britney alone. She is my favorite. She will still rocks. It seems Britney is seeking true love online now. I saw her on -"I n t i m a t e m i n g l e. c o m**** last week. Good luck to her search.
101. sindy - May 23, 2008 9:30 AM
Well Casper my dear, Britney just might give you a shot, you should go for it!
102. Ohh..now I get it.... - May 23, 2008 9:46 AM
At first I was completely confused by this. Mutt went the wrong direction on this. This second wife is supposed to be the trophy.
But if it is true Shania is into this Sant Mat and she isn't putting any out, I totally get it. Nothing is worth that frustration (been there to a point). It is like having a Ferrari in the garage that you can never drive, or having a 57 Fender Strat that hangs on the wall and never gets played. That kind of thing is for POSERS. What is the point?
103. AZ Cowgirl Cutie - May 23, 2008 11:53 AM
# 35 - Ted from LA
You're funny!! Thanks. You made my day!
104. gerard Vandenberg - May 23, 2008 12:22 PM
But she loves WOMEN!!
that's a nice coincidence: MY PERSON LIKEWISE!!
105. Must Be Lame In Bed - May 23, 2008 12:37 PM
There is only one reason that Shania's husband would leave here for that woman: Shania must be lame in bed. She's probably a fussy prima donna who won't give head, won't rub his balls, and just lies there like a corpse. Even with a broad as beautiful as Shania, that gets old eventually. I bet the new chick loves pleasing her man.
106. robotgirl - May 23, 2008 1:40 PM
Dear Mr. Pedantic:
I'm not sure what DNA sequences you are looking at, but as far as I know there are no codons that code for 'cultural hegemony' as you seem to be trying to suggest. I am a little curious as to whether or not you are writing in some sort of time machine. Your description of a Bourgeoisie/artistocratic ruled society sounds a little anachronistic.
Just in case you are from a time prior to the 1770s, this is America. Here, your parent's social standing does not necessarily have that much bearing upon your future, provided that you are an individual that is driven by one cause or another. Theoretically, anyone can receive an upper level education and become - at least in your terms - successful. It is true that if you are the spawn of some business typhoon that you have a supposed advantage as far as money and connections are concerned. However, those fine genes that you seem to dote upon seem to lead to dead ends in this day and age - see the Hilton children. Being born into this lifestyle that you speak of leads mostly to individuals devoid of true intelligence and motivation. Why bother to work when things are just handed to you? You honestly enjoy such a vacuous lifestyle?
You sound like something lifted out of a Brett Easton Ellis novel. The attributes you've assigned to yourself sound pretty exaggerated; a caricature of yourself. I highly doubt you are as wealthy as you claim; why would you be on this site bothering the impoverished, oppressed proletariat (as you seem to think of us.)
I am a person who has chosen to use her talents in the field of genetics so that I may help my fellow man. This path has made me happier than any amount of money ever could.
I have no right to judge your lifestyle, and I won't. After all, your posts are really entertaining us, the 'miserable peons'. However, I do not think you should judge the lifestyle that most of us have chosen. Yes, many of us choose to live this way. Connecting to someone with an extraordinary wit, enjoying a hike on a beautiful mountain with a loved one, playing games with children, waking up and making love to someone with whom you share a special bond - these are the things that some of us enjoy. The sorts of things that money cannot buy. You can keep your 'lavish lifestyle' - your pleasures sound so superficial and evanescent.
If you wish to experience true enjoyment, maybe I'll make a special genetic therapy to fix your chemical physiology some day. Or is that something beyond your comprehension?
107. The Lord Is In Need of Attention - May 23, 2008 1:58 PM
@91
I hate to break this to you, but it's kinda hard to despise anyone that makes you fall asleep in the middle of his talk. "Looking down" is more like it.
108. Tor - May 23, 2008 3:41 PM
The low down on Shania since she first became famous was that she's a little on the frigid side. I'm sure she slung it pretty well to land the guy who would make her famous, and then turned down the thermostat when she had what she wanted.
109. gigi - May 23, 2008 4:37 PM
good! at last she's free! Mutt & the large breasted harsh-faced lady can carry on all they want. Shania needs to get the hell up outta there!! ...once they split up the property & funds of course.... then run chica run!! maybe even hook up w/ John Mayer after he dumps Jen so he can turn it out & she can get her mojo back! whatev!
110. Mutton Chop - May 23, 2008 7:21 PM
Anyone given the name "Mutt" at birth obviously can't be too much smarter than his parents...first he marries someone who sings country music for a living, which makes sense only because of the money, then he's too dumb to keep her forever. Now, I'm sure Shania's mom looks better than that because she's a stone fox. Maybe Marie-Anne should change her name to "Jeff"?
111. Mutton Chop - May 23, 2008 7:24 PM
Or maybe Mutt just likes the butt.
112. tellin ya what I know - May 23, 2008 11:17 PM
That "ugly other woman" must literally take it up the ass and suck the man's toes and Shania must really know how to push his buttons and make him really mad. No other excuse for this.
113. Itcurua - May 24, 2008 2:24 PM
Does it occur to anyone that a person could be loved for who they are and not what they look like? I doubt the :"ove" between Mutt and the secratary is a sextal love. Everything isnt based on sex.
Not that it justifys him cheating, but then we dont know if sex is involved in this "cheating"
Show me the hottest chick in the world and I"ll show you a guy sick of banging her.
114. Momma - May 26, 2008 6:48 AM
Whats wrong with an older woman. Most of the guys i go out with are alot younger than me. they keep it up better when they are young. Old guys really don't have the dick anymore mostly the white ones. The black guys are much much better in this dept. (ohhhhhhhhhhh yeah)
115. Trump - May 27, 2008 1:00 AM
I think it is Trump.
The multi-millionare posting on here, I mean.
Yes.
116. Trump - May 27, 2008 1:00 AM
I think it is Trump.
The multi-millionare posting on here, I mean.
Yes.
117. Trump - May 27, 2008 1:00 AM
I think it is Trump.
The multi-millionare posting on here, I mean.
Yes.
118. Trump - May 27, 2008 1:00 AM
I think it is Trump.
The multi-millionare posting on here, I mean.
Yes.
119. Tis but I - May 27, 2008 6:54 AM
My dearest robotgirl,
It seems that your vast ability to comprehend the genetic difference between a rat's tail and a horse's ass has left you a bit slighted on the rest of the animals true natures. Codons and DNA. Impressive. The Hilton girls? Darling, do not judge the top of a mountain by the debis that tumbles to the bottom. "Cultural Hegemony" is not in itself genetic but determined by the Hegemon's genetics, clever girl.
As to inherent social bearing I must mention once again your Hilton girls...well, what do you think, dear? Hmmm.
Genetic therapy? I am all for any improvements so tell me more! (Yes I hear a quack and feed the duck for my own amusement)
A lovely morning to you all and speed up now, the hour is late and I have a busy day myself...after a swim and a long walk.
It is truly delightful that you are using that little brain of yours to delve into the causative agents of the masses and their multiple malaise. I see the fine results in your curious freak mice and so forth. Excellent.
Love as you speak, is a selfish delusion the underlying purpose of which is to procreate. The stonger know this and control their emotions a tad better than the average farmer or lab worker perhaps. Emotional fireworks into the sky and inevitably everything must come down to earth, clever girl. I run the ship of my life on an even keel and no I do not own a boat so please do not ask...I charter what I need on the rare occasion this folly presents itself. The sea is for seafood. I am a land mammal, not some squeeling dolphin.
Lavishness as evanesence? Come now everything must fade. Each day carries us all forth to our sad fate. But superficial? My possessions are tangible and are part of the richness of my being. I do not awake to scramble about hurriedly to the beckoning of a vocational dictator. Hardly a petty and meaningless existence, darling.
120. eggs - January 29, 2009 1:56 AM
Came to this debate wayyy to late, but go check out the book Affluenza by Oliver James from your local library (not worth buying, though). It'll explain Lord Hufffington over here. Rich but miserable, trapped in an empty existence and all that.