May 9 2008Nick Cannon, I hate you
I get a ton, no, make that a space ton, of e-mails from publicists trying to get me to shill their client/wares. Well, this time around, one particular publicist knew how to push my buttons: By sending a pic of Nick Cannon with a Limited Edition Grand Theft Auto IV Xbox 360 System. Here's the details from Chrystina at Edelman that illustrate why I'm tempted to hide behind Mariah's oxygen bed chamber and attack Nick in his sleep:
Only 500 of the systems were made throughout the United States and Europe and Nick Cannon (along with Ice Cube and Pharrell Williams) was lucky enough to receive one. Yup, Mariah Carey’s new hubby is a gamer and Xbox 360 is system of choice.
Of course, if marrying Mariah Carey is what it takes to score such a sexy system, I'll pass. I love video games more than I could ever love my own offspring (See? Suing me for child support won't win my love, kids.), but marriage is a high price to pay. Unless they threw in a kegorator.
Special thanks to Chrystina. If I married you, how many of these could you get? Enough to build a life-size Xbox woman that would make me waffles after our inevitable divorce? If so, I'm already on my knee. That's right. This hunk of romance is all yours, baby....
Reader Comments
1. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - May 9, 2008 11:11 AM
She bought that for him so he could keep his fucking hands off of her.
2. slut - May 9, 2008 11:11 AM
iwww slout
3. woodhorse - May 9, 2008 11:13 AM
And this 360 is different from other 360s how?
4. lulu - May 9, 2008 11:14 AM
i like her tube top suit dress
5. restingonlaurels - May 9, 2008 11:16 AM
marketing ploy, not at all different. why do men find these things so addicting? i can't get my guy to move because i can't figure out how to coordinate the camera angle joy stick with the move-the-dude joy stick.
6. mimi - May 9, 2008 11:16 AM
CRAP!
He's alive.
7. Andy - May 9, 2008 11:19 AM
#1 is right - Nick's job is to admire her when she's dressed to go out. No fucky-sucky, not even for fi mil dolla.
8. Me again fuckfaces - May 9, 2008 11:21 AM
Who's hand is she holding? Is she gettin' a little on the side already?? Guys, that's what happens when you sit in front of video games all day with your mouth hanging open..
That, or we just don't like you anymore..
9. mimi - May 9, 2008 11:21 AM
To the Mimi posing as me, me.
I spell mimi all lower case.
Still praying for AMY and BRITNEY!
10. Peed Pants - May 9, 2008 11:23 AM
Crazy ass Fish!
11. FRIST!!! - May 9, 2008 11:23 AM
Why do I even bother??
I'm never coming on this site again!! (til I get to work)
12. Me again fuckfaces - May 9, 2008 11:23 AM
whose. oops.
13. tommy fuckin salami - May 9, 2008 11:23 AM
in the pic above doest she look more.....................nergo-ish standing next to him................ he brings out the black in her.................and thats nice
14. Jimbo - May 9, 2008 11:25 AM
Frist you always come when I'm on this site. Multiple times.
15. bizmark - May 9, 2008 11:26 AM
Please listen to the message that I send, dont ever talk to a girl that says she just has a friend. (this has nothing to do with these two a-holes I was just listening to Biz)
16. tp - May 9, 2008 11:34 AM
@13...you're absolutly right!! I never noticed that before, you hit the nail on the head!!! You're amazing.
17. restingonlaurels - May 9, 2008 11:35 AM
mimi, MIMI, whoever, pray for the victims in Myanmar instead! especially those poor children. they'll appreciate it more, i'm sure.
18. mike - May 9, 2008 11:36 AM
16 quit wiping 13s ass
19. janex - May 9, 2008 11:42 AM
^tp for wiping asses. Very good mike. Extra love for your goat.
20. ps3spokesman - May 9, 2008 11:44 AM
Wow he gets a special edition piece of plastic. I am sure that will be worth millions one day. NOT.
ps xbox fucking sucks monkey nuts.
21. Spazz - May 9, 2008 11:52 AM
Whats the over under on length of this marriage?
I say in less than 5 months he is living in alone in a bachelor pad playing his ltd edition 360 by himself.
At least he got the system AFTER the prenup - score!
22. veggi - May 9, 2008 11:53 AM
So, n i g g e r s have a child's mentality. This is news?
23. restingonlaurels - May 9, 2008 11:55 AM
wow, what an ignorant comment.
24. hoticystuntaz - May 9, 2008 11:59 AM
Lucky bastard !!!
25. Auntie Kryst - May 9, 2008 11:59 AM
@22 Thank you. Finally someone addresses my other addiction besides alcohol, that's gambling. I'll take that action. I'm going with the over. I think they'll make it more than five months, just barely..
PS good morning Veggi troll #23, dumbfuck.
26. restingonlaurels - May 9, 2008 12:05 PM
thank god the morning's over - only 7 more hours til weekend freedom!!
oh and 22 "- score!" LOL
27. pistola - May 9, 2008 12:05 PM
that woman looks like an ape. that was not a racial comment. it's just all the space between her nose and her mouth. oh, and the cheeks- those are ape-like, as well.
28. veggi - May 9, 2008 12:15 PM
This story and my troll are about as amusing as an empty bottle of whiskey..
Morning Auntie! I'll get in on this bet. I think she's banging the guy behind her already, so, I give it a lifetime of bliss!!
29. gerard Vandenberg - May 9, 2008 12:29 PM
........................................WHO'S NOT?
30. bootlips - May 9, 2008 12:56 PM
Is there anything more useless than so-called proud nigggger?
31. AskandImighttell - May 9, 2008 1:08 PM
Anyone think this might have something to do with that Ashton Kutcher show that everyone was so skeptical about a few months ago.
Look at this two together, WTF? How could that skinny little twerp have anything that woman would desire?
........
32. Jeezy - May 9, 2008 1:47 PM
Who the fuck is this Nick Cannon guy? He's 27, she's 38!
He just looks like a typical wannabe thug bitch...
33. ldsqtbea - May 9, 2008 2:37 PM
love the outfit hate the shoes
34. Lexoka - May 9, 2008 4:40 PM
What's wrong with standing straight? Is the Xbox that heavy?
35. need a ps3 bad - May 9, 2008 5:05 PM
DAMN YOU NICK CANNON. I DON'T EVEN HAVE A PS3 NOR GTA IV AND THIS UGLY PIECE OF SHIT HAS A LIMITED EDITON GAME SYSTEM OF A GAME. FUCK.
36. T - May 9, 2008 5:11 PM
Love her dress!
37. Wirehead26 - May 9, 2008 5:19 PM
Fuck Nick Cannon. HE JUST TOOK YOUR CLOTHES MONEY!!!
38. lili - May 9, 2008 5:38 PM
won't last
39. I do it for the drugs - May 9, 2008 11:41 PM
You guys sure are cynical. Don't you think it's at least possible these two got married because they love each other? Doesn't anyone believe in the magic anymore?
Ha. Just kidding. These two will be separated within a year. I predict a brutal divorce. And I can't wait.
40. Ari Turtletaub. - May 10, 2008 10:16 AM
Isn't anybody else sick of seeing shaved apes like this all of the media?
41. pizzydizzy - May 11, 2008 12:03 AM
Did anyone else notice the CLODHOPPERS on this woman? She may be skinny, but look at the size of her feet!
42. N_ghater - May 11, 2008 12:53 AM
I am also sick of seeing shaved apes like this everywhere. "Rappers", "actors", "musicians"... a n i g is still a n i g :D
43. Erica. - May 11, 2008 9:54 PM
LOL@44.
I'm sorry for my ignorance, and N_ghaters.
But shit. The stereotypical black person annoys the fuck out of me.
And these two, wtf is Mariah anyways, are typical black folk.
Except rich and not playin hoops with their guns out and ready.
44. hahHHAHAHA - May 20, 2008 11:03 AM
hahah
sorry but he looks like his butler next to her
45. hahHHAHAHA - May 20, 2008 11:08 AM
I meant to say HER butler.
46. MD - June 16, 2008 12:24 PM
You racist pieces of shit are pretty brave hiding behind anonymously behind a computer screen. Get AIDS and die, you ignorant, jealous scumbags. You just can't comment on a story, and leave it at that, can you? You make me want to puke.
47. amburr<3 - October 31, 2009 6:34 PM
wow she cant even open hold or close her umbrella talk about plastic and nick just ..well........sucks.
48. amburr<3 - October 31, 2009 6:34 PM
wow she cant even open hold or close her umbrella talk about plastic and nick just ..well........sucks.